Haven't posted in quite a while.....

[tinman]

I had a friend of mine, who is a member of this board and a superstar loser email me a few days ago. She told me that this post I made a year or two ago was a tipping point for her. She told me that she copied and pasted it and that it made her sharpen her own perspective.

Perspective.

Now there's a word that isn't used on this board very often. We all have perspective but we don't all use it. What we all are guilty of from time to time is adopting some one else's perspective. That's a killer when you're sleeved. Make a plan, work the plan, own the results, and change as needed. Do that, and you'll develop your own, unique perspective. Your plan, your results.

So, I thought someone, either active or lurking, might be able to benefit from this post I made. It tickles me to death when someone tells me that one of my rants made a difference to them.

I hope this helps someone gain some perspective.

After reading this, if you need help, or want a nickel's worth of free advice, feel free to pm me. I'm always glad to help.

Here we go.


Every few month or so......a new wave of sleevers comes on here. Names I don't recognize, places I've never heard of and emotions all over the place. For all of the diversity and divergent personalities, it seems that a few ideas about what these new sleevers are going through are all common and the questions seem to follow a common theme.

Why do I still feel like cheating?

Did I do permanent damage to my sleeve when I ate a sugar cube during my "puree phase".

Will my NUT and/or surgeon still like me if I don't hit their goal?

How do I tell family and friends how I lost this weight?

OMG....I'm exactly 21 days post op and the scale stopped moving. Will it ever start moving again? Did I do something wrong?

Why is my mind playing tricks on me by making me crave sweets. I thought this was supposed to cure my cravings.....


I'm sure I could print three or four pages of notes, concerns, and musing from the newly sleeved. So, I usually print a post that addresses these and other questions about once every few months. These are my opinions and mine alone. They work for me and have worked for many on here. However, there lots and lots of folks on here who have been very successful post op and did not do it like I did. Their ways are just as relevant as mine....if not more so. If you are interested in my theories and applications, please go to my profile, click the tab that says "recent posts" and you'll find pages of the rantings of a formerly morbidly obese man who has been there, done that, and ate that.

So, for all of you who are less than two or three months post op. Let me give you nickels worth of free advice. There are no rules concerning post op sleeved life. Each of us is very individual and as such, our bodies all require differing levels of hydration, nutrition, exercise, and vitamins to operate at peak efficiency. So, why is it that you NUT and or Surgeon is hell bent on placing you on a food plan that is nothing more than a diet at it's best, and really a torture session in reality? I'll tell you why. It's because they do not know any better.

Did you have frank discussions and constructive criticism with your surgeon detailing your thoughts on his surgical technique, bed side manner and overall competency? Uh....I'm betting you didn't. Why?

Because in order to have an intelligent conversation with anyone about anything, there has to be a common frame of reference.

In other words, you both have to have a shared experience. Whether that experience comprised of opposite view points, or common practices. It's impossible to discuss surgical techniques with your surgeon because you are not a surgeon.

Well....guess what. They cannot have a conversation with you about your post op nutrition, hydration and weight loss unless they too have been through what you are going through. Now, before everyone jumps my ass about what I just typed, please take note. I am not advocating that all new sleevers should question their Surgeon regarding post op care and maintenance. I am advocating that new sleevers need to take control of their post op nutrition, hydration and exercise as quickly as possible and tailor their post op lifestyle to maximize this amazing, miraculous, and game changing procedure. A Surgeon...and especially a NUT cannot possibly know what they are talking about in regards to nutrition. Know how I know? Look at all of the very successful sleevers on here who lost weight doing it their way and not the NUT's way. I am not advocating my way. I'm advocating for your way.

So, new sleevers. Take heed.

There is no such thing as cheating with the sleeve.

Once your sleeve is about 4-5 weeks old, you absolutely cannot harm it. It won't blow up, leak out of your belly button or vaporize into thin air. You will live with it for the rest of your life.

Tell your NUT and Surgeon to kiss your formerly prodigious ass if they do anything more than thank you for your business and that's that.

You tell your family and friends you lost your weight the old fashioned way. Portion control and exercise. That's the God's Honest Gospel Truth. If pressed, tell them about the tool you purchased to help you.

Folks understand tools, they do not understand crutches.

You will stall at three weeks. Period. No stopping it and the quicker you start messing around with your calorie, protein and hydration, the sooner you will bust that stall and never stall again.

And last but not least, the sleeve is a tool. Not a cure. The sleeve will not re-wire your brain or make you magically, mentally, different. If you think it will, then you need the check up from the neck up. It's ok to crave. It's ok to feed the crave. It's ok to eat carbs every day. It is NOT ok to over eat. The sleeve is a tool to prevent over eating. Period. Nothing more.

So in conclusion...Here is good old Tinman's mantra.

You are not on a diet

Since you are not on a diet, you cannot be failing at a diet.

This is not a race. You will be sleeved for the rest of your life. Please take the time to learn how to use the sleeve effectively. No one becomes proficient with a tool the first time they use it. You won't either. But, don't ignore it. Use it.

Carbs are our friends...not our enemies

Eat as much protein as your itty, bitty, pinkie toe sized sleeve will let you. Preferable no less than 80 grams a day.

Drink no less than 64 oz of WATER, not sports drinks, not tea, not coffee, not beer, not soda, a day. Preferably over 100 oz during the summer and when you are exercising. Dehydration can cause a stall too.

And, last but not least....you must never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever over eat........EVER.

[WANAGL]

Thank You!

[Aydensmomma]

As always good info and good to hear from you. You definitely helped me out. It was probably about a year ago that I contacted you. My nutritionist had told me "once I'm sleeved I will have to cut out all sugar. No junk food, no greasy food. No fried food and so on. FOREVER. I think I knew that wasn't gonna happen but I wanted to follow all the rules to get the results that were kind of promised to me. My doc said I'd loose 70lbs. When I looked at him like "that's it?" He quickly said "or more, but at least 70"
Well here I am 14mo out and 128lbs down. I have perfect blood pressure, my migraines are a lot less frequent and yes, I do keep an eye on my calories.....because if I don't have at least 2200 I will loose. Weird how that happened. I don't go and eat 5 snickers a day but I have eaten candy, just like I've eaten all the other foods in my world. I take my vitamins every day, I drink my water, I eat my protein and I drink some too. Those are the rules we need to follow. Everything else will fall into place as our new lifestyle .Don't read this and walk away thinking you can go out and eat a bunch of junk.....I don't eat like I did before. Some of us have addictions to carbs, having a piece of chocolate might open up a world of cravings. Know what you can handle.

[RehabNurse]

Once your sleeve is about 4-5 weeks old, you absolutely cannot harm it. It won't blow up, leak out of your belly button or vaporize into thin air. You will live with it for the rest of your life.

Your advice is solid as always, Robert.

I just wanted to mention something that nobody thinks about: late suture line leaks. I know someone who had a complication-free recovery after being sleeved, but developed a staple-line leak at 16 months out. He required emergency surgery.

Yes, the chances of anyone developing this complication so far out is less than 1 percent, but I just wanted to mention that it is faintly possible to do damage to a sleeve beyond the 4 to 5 week point. Very unlikely, but still possible...

Anyhow, thank you for posting your sage advice. You are more motivational than you'll ever know.

[cathbas]

in the back of my mind..everyday..when i feel any restriction..i hear your mantra..telling me over and over again..do not ever ever ever ever ever overeat...and it works..it really does..
tho i dont know you..i hear you daily!!

[rathgirl68]

You sure helped me too. Thank you

[Melyssa]

Ok so I do have one question about tea. Why not? Now for me owrsonally, I'm talking about brewed green tea sweetened with stevia. Isn't that hydrating?

I'm a year out and in the past month have try hit a stall. Partly due to meds I'm on, partly to changing my diet to break the stall. Would tea really make a difference?

[RRT]

Well said tinman well said.

Tea I drink it with no issues. Just tea no sweetener except when I am having Asthma issues and then I put honey in the tea. I drink Jasmine, Lapsang, Green, Camomile, Mint and Peppermint to help with digestion, Ginger etc. But I also drink A LOT of water.

I never paid any attention to my NUT. Asked my Dr. a lot of questions because I'm in healthcare and knew all about his practice. NEVER ever be afraid to ask questions! I love when my patients/families ask me questions because that's part of my job(I'm a Respiratory Therapist). To educate. Also if none of your providers have had this surgery then they don't know squat. Since I have Asthma I can relate to my patients and talk to them about being on a ventilator because I've been intubated. Most of the Surgeons I have worked with are asshats. Attitude. The best ones are the ones who have had surgery done on them and had to recover in ICU. If your Surgeon gives you attitude or is rude and blows you off? I'd get another Surgeon.

[RehabNurse]

Ok so I do have one question about tea. Why not?

To clarify, he's not saying you cannot have tea. You can have as much tea as you want, but it doesn't count toward your 64 ounce daily water requirement because it isn't water.

At about two months post-op I resumed my coffee habit. I drink about two cups of coffee per day, but I'd be nuts to think it would ever count toward my daily water intake.

[SweetCaroline]

As a pre-sleever, I thank you for your post! Good info., good advice. I will re-read often as a reminder until it is an engrained mantra of my own!

[Munecagirl85]

Well i must say every time i eat and i feel a tad bit stuffed and I reach for my fork i stop ask myself what am i doing and always think back at your post!!! Ive overeaten but not much!!! I ate too much avacado last night and paid big lol!!! I eat lots of tiny meals though

[coopersmom]

Tinman can I just go ahead and give you my heart now, because I've enjoyed your posts just about more than anything on this forum. Thank you!

[sraebaer]

My NUT is this tiny little 100 pound twenty-something. She has NO IDEA what it's like to walk in our shoes. It would be like me leading an AA group when I had never drank alcohol. Or to teach a class on marriage when I'd been divorced many times. I could go on and on!

PS, I do drink alcohol and have never been divorced.

[coopersmom]

You've been a great encourager as well sraebaer. I've enjoyed reading your posts and your words of wisdom and encouragement. It's been so helpful to read here. Thank you and much continued success to you.

[sraebaer]

You've been a great encourager as well sraebaer. I've enjoyed reading your posts and your words of wisdom and encouragement. It's been so helpful to read here. Thank you and much continued success to you.

Thanks! Best wishes right back at you for continued success.