No longer about the weight? So now what happens? To all the Veteran sleevers out there!

[neptunesally]

Your thoughts?

I have spent a lot of time waking up every single day wondering what diet I am going to follow today. Or feeling guilty about the night before and that "something" I ate too much of or the roll I was on and blew it. I have spent countless hours on the internet investigating the latest about HCG, Weight Watchers, Juicing and syching up for the latest trend. Sometimes succeeding with enthusiasms and then gaining with irritation, frustration and depression. I have lost and gained so much weight in my life it's not even funny.

Then one day I find out about the VGS and moving forward post surgery my husband says to me yesterday - I sense something is going on with you. He said I seemed off. His thoughts, you don't have the same energy to put in the same places as you use too. That is, the anxiety, time, focus, depression, highs and lows, etc..into the diet world/life I had...Granted I am putting energy into my VGS as my post op is only 10 days old but I ask, how many of your veteran sleevers how has your life changed? Are you are more at ease? Do you find that you have more time to give to yourself, life, family because you don't have to hide or feel frustrated about the latest weight gain or whatever it is that might be on your mind about food, the way you look, how you feel because of the yo yo ride you use to be on or ? I would assume I can't be alone on this one. Just wondering what happens after you started your journey and where you are today with all of this?

I hope this makes sense.

[didi100]

I am with you 100%!!! I used to spend a lot of time and energy feeling guilty for the "bad" food I had eaten, denying myself food only to end up binging, then beating myself up for not being able to control myself, then eating something "good" and feeling proud, only to falter and eat something "bad" and start the whole cycle again. On top of that I would avoid catching my reflection at all costs, worry about fitting into a seat comfortably, and worry about what people were thinking about me. There was a LOT of negative self talk going on in my head.

Now I'm just trying to take it day by day. My self talk is about vitamins, water, protein. I do not feel like I am relying on willpower or denying myself something so that I will lose weight. There is no good or bad food. All I am focused on is how do I feel -- am I hungry? am I thirsty? If I am hungry, I eat. If I am tired, I rest. I try to always eat protein first, but if I want an ice cream or bagel or onion ring, then I eat that. The big difference, though, is that I order a small ice cream instead of a large, and I can't finish it. I eat 1/2 a bagel. I eat 4 onion rings. Not because I am denying myself or trying to be good -- I'm just full and not hungry, and I am listening to my body.

I am 4 months post surgery and really happy with how I feel, both mentally and physically. I only wish I had done this sooner. Good luck to you!!!

[Numbers]

I am nearing 10 months post op, I no longer think much about food, other than the "scheduled" meal times. Then I eat small meals, I generally choose health foods, but I eat some junk food on occasion. Food just is not a bog deal anymore.

Social life has changed some, mostly because I am happier and healthier.

[cowgirljane]

I am 4 years post sleeve and maintaining at goal. I think we are all very different so I would not assume my experience is what you should expect. One key difference, lets face it, I was much more advanced in the disease state of obesity. I weighed over 300# and now weigh about half that.

I was fine giving up food as an emotional crutch. I was ready, i was over it. What I didn't realize is that once I got to goal, how much self examination I needed to do as alot of the real me had been smothered by, protected by, hidden by the fatsuit.

I am much happier, but it hasn't been 100% smooth sailing either.

My opinion is that we each need to follow our own instincts about what we need. I didn't need counseling to deal with "food addiction" that so many feel they benefit from. I needed help finding my legs, finding my new life as I got near/at goal. It is an ongoing journey and it is very interesting to me to look back 1 year, 2 years ago and realize how much BETTER I am now. I am more genuine, open, caring, vulnerable, strong and all sorts of things. I have been at goal since Feb 2013.

there are some other things in my life I hadn't really "taken care of" as well as I wanted. I am now addressing some of those loose ends and feel like a very bright future is in front of me.

[neptunesally]

That's pretty powerful what your wrote cowgirl. Nice read..

[kenson]

Wow, what a great question! I am almost two years out, and you're right! After you've counted calories, counted points, wrote everything you put in your body, etc., what now? For me, its been like a rebirth, freedom if you will. I have this built-in portion control that allows me to stay in control. What happens now is that you start to really, really enjoy your life Enjoy!

[Kodi's Mom]

I am almost 19 mos out. I still sometimes have to remind myself to eat. I no longer live to eat but actually live to enjoy myself. I can play with and walk my dogs. I can enjoy nature photography again and, in fact, am getting an annual pass to our state parks next year. I enjoy shopping for clothing and have a hard time deciding what to get because EVERYTHING fits. I am no longer taking hypertension medication, insulin, Byetta or a diuretic. I no longer go to sleep with a CPAP mask and then awake the next morning bearing the indentations of the mask for most of the day. I don't waste gas driving in circles looking for the closest space and just park in the first space I find and don't have to have a cart to dissipate my weight. I wake up without pain and move without pain. I am happier.
I still am losing, very slowly now, but still losing. I am no longer obsessed with what I am going to eat, what I should eat, what the next, great diet book is coming out. I do not have guilt over eating too much of something, or an entire something and have truly been blessed with a new way of life.
I am still following my centers guidelines and the cravings have not returned. (I'm still doing low carb, protein first as this is what worked and is continuing to work for me.)
I am enjoying my hobbies again. At 58, I feel younger than I did when I was 30!

[thenewmetoday]

Wonderful question and great responses to same.

Since surg. I have never counted calories, I could probably write a book about calories. I only make sure I get protein. Veg and fruit. What freedom that brings. Food does not rule my life, it is energy not addiction. What more can I say. It does not rule my life, I just keep my focus on me and my health.

At 73 does it get any better than that. 42 months later. Weeeeee!!!!! Work it and it will work for you.

[plp55]

Funny you bring that up. I had someone tell me I was "different " too.

I was the same, obsessed with food and hating it at the same time, hating its control over me, my mood, my inability to say no, and most of all my lack of self control. To any of you religious folk I also felt a knawing guilt and sinfullness of gluttony and letting food control my life. That certainly burns a lot of time and emotions and efforts that I could have put into my family and friends and work and my pets and animals.

Now my stomach is in control. I can enjoy food because there is an end to it. It no longer has control over me. My relationships with my husband and children and clients have changed. That is SO different.

I have told very few people about my surgery. But at my birthday party last weekend, (60, yippee!) my husband's ex-wife and her husband (it's complicated) were there. I had told her about my surgery and she had been very interested and excited about it, asking me a lot of questions in the past and following my progress, but saying she could not afford the surgery ( she lives in an over 1 million dollar house).
So at the party this past weekend she tells me, how are you feeling , because you just seem different. I said what? different? like what , bitchy?
No, just different, like your personality used to be larger than life. You are just different now.

It was all I could do to not tell her," My personality was larger than life...I WAS LARGER THAN LIFE!! I HAVE LOST 50 POUNDS ...THAT IS A FOURTH GRADER THAT I USED TO CARRY AROUND ALL DAY EVERY DAY!!!"

What was that all about????? Now I know why they are divorced, I've just never been in her sight hairs before.

Anyway, I think I have changed too....but it's a good thing. Think I'll just keep it up.

[Ann2]

What a great topic and great responses.

I'm only 14 months post-op, have lost 95 pounds and am maintaining easily.

Throughout my weight loss and maintenance program thus far I've felt myself becoming ... more peaceful, less anxious, more focused on the daily, small, wonderful aspects of life. Our house is cleaner and neater. We're throwing things away, de-hoarding, learning to live with less and wanting to live with less.

I now find pleasure in chores like shopping at the grocery store and farmers' markets, meal planning, cooking from scratch, weeding flower beds, mowing the lawn, playing shadow-dance with the cat -- all things that I used to feel were not so worthy of my precious energy (which I used to have to conserve because I had so little of it).

Things and people that used to upset and outrage me no longer piss me off as much. I have fewer hissy fits than I used to have. I complain and criticize less.

I am finding more roses in the world. They also smell pretty good.

[incredibleshrnkngshirly]

I'm an oldie on here. I was twenty pounds from goal and I never made it. Instead I looked at my sleeve as a safety net. Something that, no matter what I did, it would protect me from gaining. Don't make that mistake. It is possible to eat around your sleeve. I was feeling tired and had no energy. I felt ashamed at the thirty pounds I put back on. I wasn't exercising like I was told to. I can see the weight gain in pictures now and I noticed something different about myself. When I was at my heaviest, I posed for pictures willingly. I would tell people " hey, I'm a fat chick, I have mirrors in my house, I know I'm fat". I was too, and if I knew how to operate this iPad to download, upload, or whatever you want to call it, I would show you. I don't really run from the camera now but I don't willingly pose for it anymore either. I've always been the clown in the room. The one making folks laugh. I used to make myself the butt of the fat jokes. My self esteem was very low but I didn't see that. I lost eighty pounds in one years time. I felt better, no bi-pap machine at night, no more asthma, no more knee pain or hip pain. I got down to a size 16 and wanted to go to 14, this was from a size 24 so I felt pretty good.
I'm still in a sixteen but it's tighter than I want.

I recently went through some personal hell here on earth that finally broke me. My mother pushed me away one time too many. I decided now to look out for me. I went to my heart doc and he ordered a stress test. Heart checked out fine except....it was beginning to show signs of stiffening. I didn't know that could happen. He said, you HAVE TO MOVE. Now I have met some pretty awesome folks on here who have had encouraging words and great advise for me. I am taking it too and using it. I'm so grateful for them too!

I walk on my treadmill because I refuse to give away any more of my money to the gym .....again. I didn't go, I sort of knew I wouldn't but I thought, hey, maybe if I'm paying I will go...nope. Have we changed? Yes, I think we all have in some way. I changed in personality towards myself. I don't make fat jokes about myself anymore. It's not funny to anybody to be fat! I don't make excuses anymore either. I ate junk...stuff I knew better than to put in my body. I eat more fruit now, Eat my protein first, veggies second. We don't eat out anymore unless we are on a business trip. Those don't happen too often so that helps. I don't buy the cookies or other things that caused me to stumble in the past.

My personality has changed, my mother has seen it. She tells me it's menopause....nope...its Mother-pause! I don't let her control me with emotions anymore. I have taken a " you made your bed now lay in it" approach with her. So don't go there with your husbands ex...she ain't worth it.

I guess I said all of this to sum up in one thing...yes...we change...but that's what we needed to do to get the fat off and our new attitudes on. I feel I've changed for the better. It's time for me to see about me now. I don't want to feel ashamed anymore and run from the camera or make excuses why I'm not at goal. I may not reach the goal I wanted but I will not stay at this weight either. It's already coming off.

My doc put me on antidepressants to get me over the hump. But I found out that my heart and mind have to work together on this whole weight loss thing. It's a new form of life we have to adhere to. No time limits, no punishments for bad behavior. God gives us a new day everyday. His mercies are new every morning. Let's take those and run with them! I'm long winded I know...hope this helps somebody. Hugs.....

[Ann2]

Oh, man, Shirley! Does all that resonate with me, too!

There are layers and layers and layers of meaning (and misunderstanding, too) in the simple statement: You have to put yourself first.

I sincerely believe that, for so many women, finally coming to understand what that statement truly means is the beginning of freedom.

I have complete and utter confidence in your ability to put yourself first.

[sraebaer]

I look in the mirror a lot and spend too much money on clothes. But I still do think about food. I guess I've always loved food and always will, I'm just lucky I can't eat that much. (2 years out and at goal.) I compensate my continued love affair with food with my love of exercise. My goal is 20,000 steps a day and I get there most days.

[Luann]

Don't know why, but something in me changed pretty drastically personality wise with my sleeve. I felt happier afterwards, also not worried about what people think. I let go of some friendships that were less than healthy. Once it was clear I was clear my main value in a certain friendship was to be the fat friend who made her look better in comparison, the rest of not putting up with her crap was beyond easy. If someone wants to be in my life, they have to be pleasant company or they can keep walking.

[neptunesally]

Wow..so many empowering and emotional post. It's an honor to read the deep heart emotions so many share here.