Got the date!!

[LindaMQ]

I'm so excited I got my surgery date today !

9/28/15

Started my pre surgery diet today and I am HUNGRY!

Just wondering, did you tell everyone that you had surgery? I just don't think I want to announce it to the world, is that weird?

[Davis165]

Hello, welcome! We have the same date I told family members..which I do regret (really just my mother) and my supervisor at work, a few nurses and my close circle of friends. In hindsight, I do wish that I had kept my mouth shut! No one has said anything negative to me in the work group, but some "well meaning" friends did try to rattle my cage about it all. My advice to you would be to keep it private. I wish that I had. I know that I only said something because I was ashamed of my weight and wanted others to know that I'm trying to do something about it. They didn't care about my weight, they loved me no matter what. Well wishes to you on your journey!

[Davis165]

By the way I'm super hungry, too!! At work now sipping on a protein shake.. The 28th can't come soon enough!

[Firebreak]

My date is 10/08/15. I have told everyone and I do not regret it. Someone I know is going through this soon and they're trying not to tell anyone except their parents. They've so far caused themselves a LOT of stress and it looks like word is getting out anyway.

The problem with telling only those you trust, is that those people you trust will tell the people that they trust. Those people in turn tell people they trust. It's only a matter of time until the news gets far enough removed from you that someone decides that they'll tell more than just those they trust.

Even if you tell nobody at all, I'm sure people will notice that you're off work for some time, then suddenly losing a lot of weight.

This is why I choose to be open about it. It removes all the awkwardness and lets people be open with me. It also lets me talk about it with those who may be considering the same procedure. I can tell them what I know, offer advice, and point them in the right direction to get started if they choose to.

There are always going to be folks who don't understand, and there's nothing you can do to make them understand. They aren't afflicted with the same "Condition" as we are, and they don't see it as a "Condition" at all. Just put them out of your mind and carry on.

This is all my opinion of course, so do whatever makes you feel the most comfortable. I suppose it's probably easier for me because I've had 3 family members go through WLS in the past.

[Davis165]

Firebreak, you do have some very good points, but it's all relative really. You had a path laid for you where acceptance was already in play. Some of us have to be the pioneers, if you will. For us the game is a bit different...at least for me. I'm also a relatively private person and don't want a lot of questions. I'll not lie about the weight loss that I will have, but I won't just volunteer the info, either. But, as you also stated it may already be out there by those, "who told their trusted friends." My grandmother always said, "if you don't want something told don't tell it!" I need to remember that more often!

[LadyLitteRock]

That's really up to you, I agree 100% with Firebreak. You tell one person, they tell another, and so forth, then everyone knows about it. Something similar happened to me. Of course my husband and kids know, and in error I told my mother, lol and of course I think pretty much everyone in my family knows, now, lol. Yet, no one has really approached me about it. If they did, I would just clarify things for them. I have only spoken to my inner circle and the people on the forums and some private facebook groups No one has bothered me about it, before or after having the surgery. Do I plan on telling others, no not really. Like Firebreak said, some people don't understand, some people think or say we are weak, have a lack of discipline, no work ethic in re: to exercise and dieting, when in fact, that is soooo far from the truth its beyond words. Not for nothing but 95% of the heavier or fluffy people I have met throughout my life, know pretty much everything there is about exercise and dieting as well has tried every program, pill, fade out there invented. So weak, lack of discipline, etc... definitely we are not. And this is by far, not an easy way out. This is a life time commitment, we have chosen to do, to improve our lives, because everything we have done by the books, has failed us. It all boils down too, would you be prepared mentally, for both the positive and negative attitudes of people and how will you respond to them. People will question you on having the surgery, they will try to talk you out of it, saying maybe you need to exercise a little harder, maybe you haven't tried this program or that one, maybe etc... Just be ready for anything, either way.
Good Luck and best wishes.

[PayItForward]

Hi Linda!

I've got the same surgery date as you. Today is the fourth day of my pre-op diet. It was hard the first day. I was starving. But I was amazed at how quickly the hunger went away. I mean, I'm still somewhat hungry during the day but not anywhere near the hunger of the first day.

I have not kept my surgery private. I used to think that I would but I was so thrilled to be getting it that I told everyone that would listen. So far, I have not regretted my decision. There are several people at work that have had the surgery but deny it. The problem is that they let a few people know and they told everyone else. So, the people that are lying about it now look foolish. Anyway, it's a personal decision.

Best of luck to you!

[nykky]

I told those closest to me as I really believe you need a support system.
My family know and certain friends/work colleagues.
I don't regret it, but it is your decision.

[ncruthie]

I haven't minded telling anyone. When people ask how I have lost the weight, I'm not going to lie to them. I haven't really received any negative feedback from anyone. And quite frankly I don't care what others think. I did this for me and my kids, no one else.

[Delo1028]

I didn't have to worry about telling anyone. My husband told everyone he spoke with about going to TJ for me to have the surgery, I finally told him to quit telling everyone. It is funny though my family, who I haven't told, hasn't even noticed that I have lost weight. I really don't care if everyone knows because I did this for myself. I have quit taking the 3 pills each day for high blood pressure, my knees don't hurt when I go up and down stairs, I can bend over and pick things up and the list goes on and on. Good luck on your surgery and no you are not weird.

[KNEWDAY4ME]

Hi Linda,
This is definitely a personal decision. I did not want many people knowing; especially my mother. I had tried talking to her about it when I was doing the research hoping for some support, but all I got was grief and lectures about how it was a waste of money, how I was going to fail, etc. . .so, I have told my best friend of 35 years, my sister, my two boys, and two people at work. I am confident my secret is safe. I cannot imagine living my life knowing I could not confide in someone. Everyone knew I was on a liver reduction diet and I gladly shared that with people at work. I lost 75 pounds prior to surgery. Now, as I continue to loose weight, people just assume I am still dieting and in a sense I am. I have set a goal of 10 pounds a month, so the weight loss is not so drastic. When people ask me who did not know about the diet, I just tell them I finally found something that works ; it is about water, portion control and protien. . . . .and that is the truth.

Good luck with your surgery and follow your gut and make the decision for you!

[KNEWDAY4ME]

Hi Linda,
This is definitely a personal decision. I did not want many people knowing; especially my mother. I had tried talking to her about it when I was doing the research hoping for some support, but all I got was grief and lectures about how it was a waste of money, how I was going to fail, etc. . .so, I have told my best friend of 35 years, my sister, my two boys, and two people at work. I am confident my secret is safe. I cannot imagine living my life knowing I could not confide in someone. Everyone knew I was on a liver reduction diet and I gladly shared that with people at work. I lost 75 pounds prior to surgery. Now, as I continue to loose weight, people just assume I am still dieting and in a sense I am. I have set a goal of 10 pounds a month, so the weight loss is not so drastic. When people ask me who did not know about the diet, I just tell them I finally found something that works ; it is about water, portion control and protien. . . . .and that is the truth.

Good luck with your surgery and follow your gut and make the decision for you!

[LindaMQ]

Thanks everyone, so far I've only told 1 friend, my brother and my husband and kids. I do have to tell my sister who has always said its the easy way out, I don't care what she thinks I just don't even want to hear it.

She's probably going to have to be the one to take me to the hosp though, because my husband is very ill right now and one daughter moved to Portland for school and the other one has her classes on Monday morning. Plus we'll be traveling together next weekend so when I don't say let's try Voodoo donuts in Portland she'll be shocked hehe

I think eventually I'll tell everyone, I just want to see the weight come off first, I feel like they will mentally be weighing me every time I see them if they know. We have a wedding to attend in Dec and for the first time in 20 years, I'll be so excited to shop for it