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  1. #1
    Gastric Sleeve Member MrsSize4's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgery date
    03/23/2015
    Surgeon
    Dr. Peter N. Fedorka, MD
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Last Activity
    01-11-2017 05:09 PM
    Posts
    87
    Said "Thanks" 60 Times
    Was Thanked 82 Times in 43 Posts
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    Blog Entries
    7

    Smile Don't ask for anyone's opinion about getting sleeved! Don't tell!

    This is for anyone who is contemplating whether to get sleeved or not. First, I am giving you my opinion based on my own experienced. I was sleeved 3/23 and by far this is the best decision I have ever made! I have struggled with my weight since I was 13. I did this because I was sick and tired of being sick and tired of being overweight! I started looking into the surgery 7 months before I did the surgery. I did my research and saw the success of some people around me. I regret telling people about the surgery. I wish I would of kept it to myself. When I had made up my mind that I was going to have the surgery I was so excited and of course shared the good news with close friends and some colleagues. I only shared because I was excited, not because I cared about their opinions. Oh I heard:

    "why?"
    "but you can do this on your own, you don't need surgery"
    "have you tried XXX program? I did and it worked for me"
    "Are you sure about this"
    "Well I had an aunt that did this and she gained all her weight back"
    "Oh Man people die from that"

    I heard more, but my point is that you will hear everyone's opinion and is not their business or their decision. People who have not gone through this process DO NOT UNDERSTAND. This is your struggle not anyone else's. Thin people that never had weight issues can't tell you what to do. Your overweight friends want you to stay over weight to keep them company. And some people are genuine about their concerns, but have only heard the negatives. Again, this is your decision and nobody can tell you how to live your life or your choices. The only people I recommend talking to is your doctor and people that have had it done. THAT IS IT! NOBODY ELSE! Not your momma, your bff, your husband, your children or coworkers. This is about you and you only.

    If you decide to have it done, keep it to yourself. People talk and will make judgments and since this is also a healing process you don't need side distractions. Join a support group and blogs.

    I hope this helps some of you.




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  3. #2
    Gastric Sleeve Member SoReady4Change's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Sherry
    Surgery date
    06/04/2015
    Surgeon
    Dr. Almanza
    Join Date
    Mar 2015
    Last Activity
    11-07-2016 03:35 PM
    Location
    Florida
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    43
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    Blog Entries
    17

    Default Re: Don't ask for anyone's opinion about getting sleeved! Don't tell!

    Good post. Thanks for sharing.



  4. #3
    Gastric Sleeve Member Ann2's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Ann2
    Surgery date
    08/18/2014
    Surgeon
    n.a.
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Missouri
    Posts
    6,630
    Said "Thanks" 5,839 Times
    Was Thanked 5,052 Times in 2,720 Posts
    Said "Welcome to Gastric Sleeve" 3,616 Times
    Blog Entries
    3

    Default Re: Don't ask for anyone's opinion about getting sleeved! Don't tell!

    Amen, sister!



    Consult: 235 lbs
    My and doc's preop diet: 216 -19 lbs
    M1 postop 205 -30
    M2 193 -42
    M3 184 -51
    M4 174 -61
    M5 167 -68
    M6 162 -73
    M7 156 -79
    M8 151 -84
    M9 148 -87
    M10 146 -89
    M11 144 -91
    M12 143 -92
    M13 142 -93
    M14 140 -95
    M15 139 -96
    M16 137 -98
    M17 135 -100

    First Surgiversary post

    Second Surgiversary post

    Third Surgiversary post

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  6. #4
    Gastric Sleeve Member bikrchk's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Heather
    Surgery date
    10/14/2013
    Surgeon
    Dr.Selim
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Last Activity
    06-08-2016 02:58 PM
    Location
    Kansas City Metro
    Posts
    936
    Said "Thanks" 3 Times
    Was Thanked 272 Times in 222 Posts
    Said "Welcome to Gastric Sleeve" 97 Times
    Blog Entries
    4

    Default Re: Don't ask for anyone's opinion about getting sleeved! Don't tell!

    OR... You could look at it as an opportunity to educate others about the obesity epidemic and use yourself as a positive example of how one treatment option can change your life! Just sayin' I've had my debates with folks who will never understand but wouldn't trade those conversations for anything! Being an advocate for WLS has provided me the privilege of mentoring some and educating others. Does everyone I've had a conversation with agree with me? No! Of course not! But I wouldn't expect that anyway. (I mean who agrees with 100% of the decisions of others?) Telling or not is a very individual decision. If you're not ready to debate your decision with someone who might disagree then absolutely, keep it to yourself. BUT, if you have the confidence to seize the opportunity to educate, you may find you'll grow more than you expected as a result!



    Don't worry about hurting my feelings because I guarantee you not one bit of my self esteem is tied up in your acceptance.

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  8. #5
    Gastric Sleeve Member LisaZBee's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgery date
    12/01/2014
    Surgeon
    Dr. David Brown
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
    Last Activity
    04-25-2016 02:09 PM
    Location
    Pacific Northwest
    Posts
    177
    Said "Thanks" 277 Times
    Was Thanked 83 Times in 70 Posts
    Said "Welcome to Gastric Sleeve" 51 Times

    Default Re: Don't ask for anyone's opinion about getting sleeved! Don't tell!

    To the OP: I agree because I found that although I only told a handful of people - two of my closest friends, my immediate family (hubby and boys who are 8 and 14) and 3 other family members, I got a couple of strange reactions and input from two of those people (oddly my mother and one of my closest friends) I decided then and there that it was enough "input" for me. Most people do not understand bariatric surgery or what it is like to be obese (for years) and do not understand the struggle of decades of dieting only to regain (more) each time. Some people have super thick skin and can shut off hearing the stupid comments and input but I knew I would become very sick of it and it would upset me and distract me from my goal. I'm sorry you did not receive the support you deserve. If you went to people and told them you were going to have a life saving operation for any.other.reason you would not get the feedback that you get related to bariatric surgery. It is not a cosmetic surgery it is bariatric and metabolic. Most people are just ignorant about it. ((Hugs))
    Reason: clarification



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  11. #6
    Gastric Sleeve Member Lee6Lee's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgery date
    04/22/2014
    Surgeon
    Dr. Elias Ortiz
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Last Activity
    06-08-2019 07:48 PM
    Posts
    1,682
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    Default Re: Don't ask for anyone's opinion about getting sleeved! Don't tell!

    I'm so glad I didn't "spread the news"! I don't care if they feel bad because they're heavy and wonder why they can't lose the weight like I did. If it bothers you THAT MUCH, go to Mexico. Or something.


    "Lee, by "own it!" your daughter means that you should be proud of your accomplishment and understand that you deserve this. Not because you have to pay it forward or backward to justify your own benefits. She means that this is YOUR accomplishment, and accomplishing that for yourself is enough. You do not have to fix everybody. And you do not owe anyone for the benefits you have earned. They are YOURS!" Ann2

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  13. #7
    Gastric Sleeve Member
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgery date
    07/29/2014
    Surgeon
    dr almanza
    Join Date
    Jul 2014
    Posts
    143
    Said "Thanks" 174 Times
    Was Thanked 52 Times in 46 Posts
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    Default Re: Don't ask for anyone's opinion about getting sleeved! Don't tell!

    Amen sister! That's why I kept it myself even kids till I got back! Just a handful of people I trusted. As a nurse mexico is a dirty word in healthcare. Best thing ive done for my health & well being I love my new world! Good luck in yours thans for sharing!



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  15. #8
    Gastric Sleeve Member Harley girl's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgery date
    02/11/2014
    Surgeon
    Dr. Mario Almanza
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Last Activity
    02-22-2018 01:57 PM
    Posts
    28
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    Was Thanked 13 Times in 10 Posts
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    1

    Default Re: Don't ask for anyone's opinion about getting sleeved! Don't tell!

    I feel like I wrote this... This exactly how I feel and wished I would have never told anyone, worse mistake I made through the entire ordeal. It is a personal choice in the end, but I agree with you.



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  17. #9
    Gastric Sleeve Member RehabNurse's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgery date
    04/20/2015
    Surgeon
    Dr. Smith
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Last Activity
    01-12-2020 06:38 PM
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    1,147
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    Blog Entries
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    Default Re: Don't ask for anyone's opinion about getting sleeved! Don't tell!

    People who have been at normal weights all their lives simply do not understand the uphill battles we experience.

    My last weight loss effort was in 2013. I was losing weight because I had been asked to be a bridesmaid for a friend. I lost 52 pounds through diet and exercise, going from 180 pounds to 128. 14 months later I weighed 225 pounds and felt so dispirited about gaining 97 pounds so quickly.

    Yo-yo dieting has been the story of my life since puberty. On the day I got sleeved, I noticed the difference. I was no longer fixating on food. My cravings disappeared. Now I can eat 6 ounces of food and feel satiated, whereas I constantly felt hungry after consuming large amounts of food prior to being sleeved.

    Anyhow, only a limited number of people know I've been sleeved. Since I was out of work for two weeks, I told my coworkers I had a hiatal hernia repair.


    10/23/14 Initial Consult 200 lb, 5'1 tall
    4/6/15 Highest Wt 225 (yes: 25 lb gain)
    4/20/15 Surgery Wt 218, BMI 41

    1 mo 203.0 -15
    2 mo 190.5 -12.5
    3 mo 184.5 -6
    4 mo 177.0 -7.5
    5 mo 171.0 -6
    6 mo 164.5 -6.5
    7 mo 157.5 -7
    8 mo 152.5 -5
    9 mo 149 -3.5
    10 m 143 -6
    11 m 142 -1
    1 yr 138.5 -3.5
    13 m 133 -5.5
    14 m 128 -5
    15 m 125 -3
    16 m 121 -4
    17 m 120 -1
    18 m 118 -2

    Dec '17: BMI 23.5; consumes 2000+ kcal/day

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  19. #10
    Gastric Sleeve Member lgroup's Avatar
    I have not had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Lynda
    Surgeon
    Dr. Geraci
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Last Activity
    04-14-2016 08:07 AM
    Location
    Biglerville, PA
    Posts
    3
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    Was Thanked 2 Times in 1 Post
    Said "Welcome to Gastric Sleeve" 1 Times

    Default Re: Don't ask for anyone's opinion about getting sleeved! Don't tell!

    Interesting that you say this... this is my third attempt at following through with it and I feel like one of the reason's I backed out before was that it was easy for my to do BECAUSE I didn't tell anyone. Now, I'm very selectively telling people. But I think you are right on with not asking opinions. I made my decision and now I am following through with it. When I've told people (husband, sister, friend) it's been a statement, not a question. I prepared myself ahead of time that not all are going to be comfortable with my choice and was ready for my first negative response. It came, I survived, and maybe I'm helping someone else understand that I'm determined and they will be supportive. If not, I'll have to distance myself from the negativity.
    Anxiously waiting for a healthier me!
    Lynda


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  21. #11
    Gastric Sleeve Member MrsSize4's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgery date
    03/23/2015
    Surgeon
    Dr. Peter N. Fedorka, MD
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Last Activity
    01-11-2017 05:09 PM
    Posts
    87
    Said "Thanks" 60 Times
    Was Thanked 82 Times in 43 Posts
    Said "Welcome to Gastric Sleeve" 0 Times
    Blog Entries
    7

    Default Re: Don't ask for anyone's opinion about getting sleeved! Don't tell!

    This was written for people who are on the fence about getting the surgery not someone who has gone through it and has been successful and can now educate and be an advocate. If you have been a success story and you want to be a mentor then do it. My point was that when it comes to deciding whether to have it done or not is a personal decision and not to take anyone else's opinion into consideration because is a personal battle.



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  23. #12
    Gastric Sleeve Member lvman's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Your Daddy
    Surgery date
    02/23/2015
    Surgeon
    Almanza
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Last Activity
    06-13-2019 06:13 PM
    Location
    Las Vegas
    Posts
    159
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    Blog Entries
    3

    Default Re: Don't ask for anyone's opinion about getting sleeved! Don't tell!

    You would be correct, people think their OPINIONS are facts and they are as foolish as children. I spoke to my cousin who I love like a big sister. And she wasn't supportive at all. When I explained I was going to Mexico to have it done she flipped. I told my oldest son and wife but they almost got excluded from the decision as well. So keep your cards close to your chest. Don't let people sway the best decision for your life.



    [CENTER] Embrace your power of thought and manifest your dreams!!

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  25. #13
    Gastric Sleeve Member Joe Poppa's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Scott
    Surgery date
    07/28/2014
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Last Activity
    09-04-2015 07:19 AM
    Posts
    1,451
    Said "Thanks" 660 Times
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    Said "Welcome to Gastric Sleeve" 2,023 Times
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    2

    Default Re: Don't ask for anyone's opinion about getting sleeved! Don't tell!

    Everyone has to decide what is best for them. I do not like telling lies, so I will let people know.
    In fact, yesterday and the day before, I ran into 2 different people who haven't seen me since last year and were amazed at the weight I lost and were happy for me. One of them whispered to me "Did you intend to lose weight", because they were probably afraid of my having a disease. I told them I had a VSG and I saw the look of relief on their face; they were very happy for me and my accomplishments so far.

    You don't need to broadcast it to everyone. If you know certain people are going to be "Debbie Downers" and you tell them, follow it up with "I know you will support my decision and encourage me because you are my (brother, sister, coworker, friend, etc.) and I am counting on your support to help me achieve my goal".



    Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake.

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  27. #14
    Gastric Sleeve Member ACE's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgery date
    09/13/2011
    Surgeon
    Rothchild
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Colorado
    Posts
    1,506
    Said "Thanks" 181 Times
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    Default Re: Don't ask for anyone's opinion about getting sleeved! Don't tell!

    I find having the ability to educate others and being a catalyst for others has been a huge help to me. I have had people thank me for being brave enough to get healthy and many other wonderful moments because I have no problem being totally honest and saying i tried everything and finally surgery worked for me. I have had MANY people come to me and ask for advice because they realize that surgery helped me get where I am today but I had to make huge lifestyle changes which were not hard just New. I love being an advocate for people to get healthy what ever way works for them and lessening the fears and misinformation out there about WLS. I have many friends and family members who have chosen their own paths to health but none are exactly like mine and that is great. I love seeing others who have taken my experiences (that i have been very talkative about for the past 3.5 years) and they are taking control of their lives partially because I stood up and said its OK to have this done its not a huge deal its just another tool for those of us who need it.
    "Its Not Hard Its Just New!"
    Transforming from caterpillar to butterfly to phoenix!


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  29. #15
    Gastric Sleeve Member Midas's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgery date
    01/28/2015
    Surgeon
    Doctor Who
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
    Location
    Midwest
    Posts
    169
    Said "Thanks" 139 Times
    Was Thanked 72 Times in 58 Posts
    Said "Welcome to Gastric Sleeve" 70 Times

    Default Re: Don't ask for anyone's opinion about getting sleeved! Don't tell!

    Definitely a personal decision but I can't imagine not telling my husband. First off, I was a self-pay in the states and figuring out the money situation required his help. Secondly, not telling him would have required many lies. I told only a handful of people and looking back it was still more than I wished I had. So, definitely, for those considering surgery....think about who you really want to know.


    First doc visit: 290
    Surgery date: 264.6

    1st month loss: 15 (weight: 249.6)
    2nd month loss: 8.4 (weight: 241.2)
    3rd month loss: 9.2 (weight 232)
    4th month loss: 11 (weight 221)
    5th month loss: 10 (weight 211)
    6th month loss: 7 (weight 204)
    7th month loss: 4 (weight 200)
    8th month loss: 4 (weight 196)

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