Thank you guys, you've all made me feel better, particularly during such a crappy period of my life.
Thank you guys, you've all made me feel better, particularly during such a crappy period of my life.
Ann - I'm absolutely thrilled that your husband is in remission. That's awesome news, and I wish you both every happiness for a very long time to come. I'm very sorry about your mum. My mum is only 70, she's missed out on so much.
You're right, I shouldn't use alcohol as a coping mechanism as that's not healthy, which is why I'm doing my best to stick to the one night a week. I have no intention of being the drunk mum, or the useless alcoholic. I'm very mindful of what I consume now, both in food and wine. I also want to go back to work next year - can't teach high school kids and be off your game at all ;-)
I do feel this is temporary too - once my mum is in, she's safe, as is my dad, and I can relax a bit. I think it's all exacerbated because I'm the other side of the world from them and can't get there easily. Perhaps someone could invent a teleporter.... :-)
Thank you Tinman, I needed that :-)
Yeah, I don't drink in front of the kids either. Kiwis are more relaxed about that but it doesn't feel right to me.
And I totally agree with you about the unsolicited advice! I get that they felt they were doing the right thing, and trying to be helpful, but I never asked for help. I'm fine, and quite old enough to be responsible for myself, and my health. But, who pm's a total stranger out of the blue telling them how to live their lives?! Beats me. I just found it really patronising.
Thanks for the support, it's always good to know it's not just me feeling this way! :-)
She was indeed a reformed alcoholic and drug addict (I've never done drugs except for sharing one spliff and now I puke if I even smell the stuff!). In her mind, I do think she was trying to help, but still, who emails a total stranger, shouting at her (lots of capitals) to change her life. It's no-one's business but mine and my husband's. Not some random stranger I'll never meet. I found it really patronising, but maybe that's just me. I'm well aware of my love of wine and my high to,stance of it, so I keep it in check, but you're right, in my culture we drink wine daily. I fly back to the UK next Saturday and my dad will have wine every evening, in moderation. The French, Italians, Greeks and Spanish have wine every day, with lunch and dinner. I'd argue that Americans drink the least regularly. Europeans are quite different in that respect. And I'm European! :-)
Thanks for the hugs too :-)
Viv, I'm so sorry about your dad. Dementia is a b**ch. When I was last over, my mum thought I was trying to move in on her husband, my father. I overheard her say to him, "she's too young for you, you know". Funny and heart-breaking at the same time. Another time, she thought I was a "gypsy", trying to scam money out of her and her husband. Just awful when they can't see you for who you really are, or you can't comfort them as they don't want you anywhere near them. I wish you all the best and big hugs. Kia kaha, my friend :-)
Hi Skibabe
Before my op I was a one and a half bottle of red wine drinker every night. I have a very high tolerance for alcohol and a very stressed job, it was the way for me to relax. I realised I had a drinking problem, I know that was the biggest reason for my weight gain and before the op decided to give up the grog during the week. Since my operation about 2 months ago I have had two nights where I have had a few glasses of wine and it was great! The reason I don't drink so much anymore is because I know I had a problem. But I am so determined to lose the rest of this weight I am going to drink only every now and then. I think with all you are going through, you are doing an awesome job just having a few on a weekend. (Shame on who ever sent her that private message. Don't give advice unless your asked for it) I wish you all the best and hope things start looking up for you soon. And hey have one for me this weekend will you : }
I drink. At times, probably more than I should :-O But with an "amped up social life" (I love that term), since being sleeved and single, I gotta admit, I go out more than I used to and I LIKE to party! Still learning my limits tho. I've done a whole bottle of wine if I start very early, but the next day wasn't good. That's enough of a deterrent for me to keep the amount under a little better control. The other thing that keeps me in control is my weekly weigh in. If I let things get a little too loose in the extra calories department my weight tends to creep and THAT is definitely not worth it for me! No judgement here. Sorry you got trolled.
I buy a bottle of wine, sherry or port about 2 to 3 times a year and (used to be) maybe a case of beer as often. It takes me about 3 days to go through one bottle. I had a tooth pulled a couple of weeks ago and got a bottle of sherry over the weekend when I'd run out of pain killers. Other than that, I don't think I've drank any alcohol since surgery. (I'm a little more than 2 months out.)
Down fall though is right after I got the tooth pulled, I had a blood draw and my iron was a little high. I found out that one of the byproducts of alcohol consumption is that it causes your body to absorb more iron than normal. Consistently high iron levels is one indicator of alcoholism. Even with just one bottle of sherry that happened at about 3 oz every 8 hours. I'm sure that wouldn't have happened before the surgery. Now that I'm aware of it, I can keep an eye on it. I'll make sure I don't drink anytime before the next blood draw and see what happens.
As per stress in life, I think I would agree with Anne. What's the best healthy way I can cope with it. I understand dementia stinks, I took care of my grandmother for about 6 months before she went into a nursing home. Today, I'm a single mother with an autistic child who has epilepsy and mental health issues. It's not uncommon for me to get a call from school every day for some behavioral issue he's having. Someone in my Autism support group posted a study done that compares stress levels of mother with ASD behavioral children to that of combat soldiers. I've personally been down both roads, so I get it.
How do I handle stress? I walk, I listen to music, I write, sing - all sorts of things. And of course I do an awful lot of praying. I think that's the biggest factor that keeps me from loosing my mind.
Bless you Renee, you have a lot on your plate. It's hard enough being a single parent I imagine, without having to deal with autism too, as much as you love your son. I also do most of what you do, music is a big factor in my life, though I don't pray as I'm spiritual but not religious.
Interesting about the iron, I've not heard that before. My iron levels have always been really good, except for after the birth of my second child when I lost a lot of blood during my c section. Nearly collapsed in the shower the day afterwards, which was a bit freaky. My iron levels are fine, in fact my levels of everything are excellent.
In any case, thank you for your input. I wish you every bit of support for you and your son. Not easy and I can only empathise. Take care :-)
".... though I don't pray as I'm spiritual and not religious."
Curious, I hear people say "they are spiritual not religious" all the time, but you're the first one I've ever heard say you don't pray because you're spiritual? How is that, if you don't mind me asking? All the spiritual people I know still pray.
I don't want to judge anyone, I drink too, but a bottle or a bottle and a half of wine in one sitting is really a lot, and can't be good for anyone.
I hear you, but my body is just fine, all the test confirm it. I think some of us are just either born able to process greater quantities of alcohol or our oldies adapt over time to be able to do this. Not condoning it, or suggesting others should try it though :-) As long as we are all happy, that's all I care about!
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