Advice on recovering from surgery with a toddler

**didishae** · 01-25-2015 12:27 PM

I am almost 3 weeks until from my surgery date and trying to plan as much out as I can. I have four sons, 3 are elementary school age and my baby just turned 2 yesterday. The boy's grandparents are keeping them while I am in the hospital and my husband will be here for the 6 days post op, but then he will have to go out of town for work for 2 weeks. I originally tried to have my sister come and stay with me for another week or so after my husband leaves but her work schedule is proving difficult to navigate around. My surgeon says I shouldn't lift my toddler for a month (he weighs around 30 lbs...the baby, not my surgeon.

My older boys are a huge help with the baby...they can easily lift him in and out of his crib, in his car seat, etc.. I am pretty sure I could manage alone with only them here to help. Of course, during school hours might be harder to handle.. I'm trying to consider how to get him in and out of the suburban to pick them up from school if I can't lift him, but I might can get help from friends in picking up the boys...not sure yet.

Anyway, I would just like to hear from others that have recovered from surgery with a toddler and how it went. I know everyone's experience is different but I would like to get some idea of what to expect. Should I even attempt it without help? I know it would be better to play it safe and have someone here to help but realistically it's not working out so well. Everyone has to work and has their own responsibilities. I'm usually a pretty capable person and have recovered from 4 c- sections, 3 of those with young kids at home. I know it's bad but I usually ended up lifting my kids before I was supposed to and just kind of did what I had to do. I'm not asking anyone for permission to ignore my doctor's advice but I am kind of wondering if this isn't just one of those things where the doctor is playing it safe and covering his bases. I may be mistaken but I thought he said I could lift up to 25 lbs (I'm going to ask him this again at preop) and so of course, I'm just kind of like, is 5 more lbs really that bad? I would definitely take it fairly easy and only lift him if it's absolutely necessary.

So, looooong story short, considering your own experiences would you think a mom of a 2 year old would be capable of handling things on her own about a week post-op?

**reading mom** · 01-25-2015 02:01 PM

I had one c-section and for me the sleeve was a much easier recovery! My kids are much older so I cant speak specifically to the post op period with little ones, but I can compare the 2 surgeries and say by the end of the first week I was feeling pretty normal except still taking naps. I think if I hadn't had that freedom I would have been fine though. Wishing you all the best!

**BreakingUp4Good** · 01-25-2015 02:17 PM

The sleeve for me was a cake walk compared to my two c sections, but everyone is different. My husband was irritated with me getting the surgery when I did (on 12/17) and didn't help much, and didn't have anyone else to help me full time with my two kids (my four year old is autistic and weighs 46 pounds)...PLUS the kids just got out of school for Christmas break. I had a rough couple of days and my 8 year old helped a bit when I got home from surgery but then I was fine. I DID have my groceries delivered the first week and that was a BIG help. I also managed to prepare for Christmas and finish up the shopping, etc. Just make sure you stock up as much as you can, get ALL your laundry done (big thing I did too), and clean your house before you go in

**didishae** · 01-25-2015 03:40 PM

Thanks guys for the feedback! It's nice to get some reassurance.. I was pretty sure if I could manage after c sections then I was fairly certain I could handle this. I'm still going to try to get my sister to help if she can but if not I'm thinking I can probably handle things on my own.

**Quarry** · 01-25-2015 05:09 PM

"Advice on recovering from surgery with a toddler."

As long as s/he is properly accredited, works at a Center of Excellence medical institution, and gets a nap, your recovery from surgery should equal that done with any other surgeon.

**didishae** · 01-25-2015 05:53 PM

The nap being the most important of those requirements. lol

**Skibabe** · 01-25-2015 07:38 PM

I think I was honestly lifting my then-16 month old just a week after surgery. I had two c-sections and this is a lot easier, as a c-section involves cutting through about seven layers, including muscle. The sleeve is keyhole and far less intrusive. I was in hospital for two nights, and when I came home wasn't going to risk lifting my youngest into her changing table, so changed her on the floor. That was hard! The next day, it was fine. Your little one can climb stepladders now, which helps, and I use footstools to get my youngest into her car seat - she loves doing it by herself. Maybe consider one footstool to get into the car, another for climbing up into the car seat? Getting him in and out of a cot/crib might be harder though. Stepladder again maybe?

I realise my youngest was a little younger - and lighter - but it wasn't anything like as hard as I'd thought it would be. Your sons can help with bath time, as lifting him out of the bath will be tough for a bit. Good luck, let us know how you get on :-)

**Skibabe** · 01-25-2015 07:39 PM

Originally Posted by didishae

The nap being the most important of those requirements. lol

I second that! :-)

**Philabethie2016** · 01-26-2015 08:03 AM

I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old at home and my surgery is scheduled a week from today - this topic has been on my mind a lot!

I'm lucky in that my husband is a SAHD and so things like getting the kids off to school or preparing meals isn't going to be foreign territory for him. My mother in law is 5 minutes away and routinely comes over to help, so I imagine that will be a bonus too. I had a c-section with my last child and I know I was lifting more than 10 pounds long before I was "supposed to." Not that I advocate to go against a doc's instructions either, but, for me, I felt ok. I took it slowly, listened to my body's cues, and, frankly, NOT being able to lift the children was more of a hassle.

My bigger concern with this post-op is getting jumped on by my older girl. She is very exuberant and loves to be lifted and held. It's not uncommon, when I get home, for her to take a running start across the house and leap onto me. Or jump on me while I'm in bed or sitting on the couch or eating dinner, etc. etc. I'm obviously going to going talk with her about the surgery and let her know she has to be "gentle" with mom, etc., but I don't want to over-talk the sugery and make her nervous either.

So, yeah, there's a fine line there.

**Aydensmomma** · 01-26-2015 08:40 PM

Hello! I had surgery 12/30/14 I was in the hospital for 4 days due to vomiting so the days my husband took off of work to help were kind of pointless since I wasnt even home. Anyway came home friday, relaxed sat and Sunday then Monday I was on my own. My daughter went to school and so I had to take care of my son. I wasnt driving anywhere and I stopped my pain meds the day before so I wouldn't be drowsy. When he needed a change he climbed up on the bed using his stool, I showed him my tummy so he would understand why I couldn't get on the floor to play and why he had to be gentl. He tried his best to take care of me. It was hard at times because I wanted to just go to bed but couldn't, had to make lunch and dinner etc. I did pre make a few meals and froze them. Do like 2 weeks worth of shopping, get your house as clean as you can and do all laundry so that when your recovering you don't have to focus on getting stuff down. Be careful with lifting....you do not want to get a hernia or mess the staples up.
good luck!!!