Lying about what type of surgery..

[Bubsen]

Hey guys,

So I finally got my date! The 26th of January 2015 and I can't wait.

However, I'm in a huge dilemma, because I need to get off work for at least 4 weeks. The thing is, that the mindset in my workplace is that surgery is the "easy way out" and people "just need to stop eating and start running more". This pisses me off, and to be honest I don't really want them to know about me having the gastric sleeve. It's not any of their business. But my doctor definitely wants me to tell them that I'm having surgery of some sort - just so if something happens when I start work again, that they know it could be something to do with that.

Therefore, I want to lie about what surgery I'm having. That's where I need your help. What surgery could "look" a lot like the gastric sleeve? And what are the symptoms of that surgery?

I was thinking of hernia, because I read about other people saying that, but must admit I don't know that much about it.. What are the symptoms, is it in the stomach etc.

Please, there is no way of me telling them the truth, why I would appreciate if comments about just telling my boss as it is could be left out. Thanks a lot!

Best,
B

Ps. As you might have noticed English isn't my first language, so please feel free to tell me if there's something you didn't quite understand :-)

[Ann2]

Here are multiple kinds of hernias. Lots of us had hiatal hernias repaired during VSG surgery.

However, an abdominal hernia (or a double hernia) might be a better plan. The post-op instructions for abdominal hernia surgery (like VSG surgery) include not lifting anything heavy for some time.

You have EVERY right not to share your VSG surgery with your coworkers. And four weeks off work should give you plenty of time to recover from and adapt to being sleeved.

Best to you.

[idigfrstbase]

Well, First of all I would make a BIG deal about being on a diet, working out and trying to better your life. This will show you are trying to lose weight before having any surgery. Then I would tell the human resource person you are having Abdominal surgery and that is all they need to know. There are laws against leaking private information and if anyone shares this information they can be fired. You can tell your co-workers you have some issues and have to have surgery you care not to discuss. No need for anyone to know. However, lets be honest. This is not the easy way out. risking your life, to save your life is pretty damn serious and not easy. Especially when you explain you are forced to be on a diet, every day. That is not easy when you think about it because most diets let you have some leeway for eating. Good luck to you!

[Trustin Sleever]

When I was sleeved, I had a hernia repaired and my gallbladder removed at the same time.

[Joe Poppa]

You owe no one an explanation.
If they want to know why you needed 4 weeks off for a medical procedure, tell them it was very involved an it would be equivalent to the same amount of time you would need to recuperate if you went in to have the procedure to remove your cranium from your rectum.

Just keep in mind you will need excuses for your rapid weight loss, eating differences (stages, quantity and no liquids 1/2 hour before or 1 hour after eating), etc.

Later if it is figured out, will they trust you ever again?

You need to do what is best for you.

[apythia]

You don't owe anyone any explanation, not even HR. All they need to know is you are having a medical procedure that will require 4 weeks recovery time. I didn't tell anyone. If you search the forum, you'll find tons of threads on to tell or not to. The choice is yours. But know by law in the US, you DO NOT have to provide an exact reason to HR and you certainly don't owe coworkers anything. My believe is my medical history/issues/problems are mine alone and not open to group discussion, so I didn't tell anyone other than my husband and I come here for support.

[char602]

What information you're obligated to share can depend also on if you're requesting the time off as paid or unpaid. I'm the LOA Administrator for the Business Group I support and if an employee is requesting paid time off (STD), I see all sorts of medical documentation. I am absolutely bound by confidentiality and can't share with anyone. I would ask your doctor to be as vague as possible in their letter to your employer, and I would NOT lie to them directly. While everyone is correct in the fact that it's not their business, you don't want to be seen as a liar. As far as your story for coworkers, Ann gave you some good "cover stories".

I agree with Elizabeth, I plan on making a big deal of my eating better and working out in the next few months. So that when I start dropping weight it will make sense.

[idigfrstbase]

Thank you Shar for the confirmation of HIPPA Confidentiality. I am very familiar with it as well in my line of work. It can be a pain in the ass and also a blessing. When I lost my weight people asked if I was ill. I was walking and running quite a bit so I told most I eat very little and move a lot. They asked what diet and I said "what diet", I just eat less and exercise. True right?

[Bubsen]

Thank you all so much! I can't believe how sweet it is that you all made time to write back! I am so grateful!

It ended up with me telling my boss today I had to have a hernia operation. I didn't know before you guys said it, that the sick leave note wouldn't say what exact surgery it was (I also checked out with the hospital, and it's correct - it only says surgery )

So thank you again! <3

[jessiejess]

HIPPA is VERY serious and violating it is grounds for lawsuits and immediate termination of those involved. HR won't do it. They will not tell. Your boss can't tell either. If they do, it's a HUGE NO NO!! That said, you owe no one an explanation. But, Ann's are perfect!! Your doctor can be vague in the paper work saying only that you need abdominal surgery. Our FMLA and STD is handled by a third party so I never had to submit anything to HR. They also are not supposed to ask either. And if they do, you don't have to be specific or answer. You don't have to tell anyone anything other than you have to take medical leave. My boss never asked, HR asked if I was going to be ok, and that was it. Afterward when I started dropping the weight, I'd get sideways looks but I said I had an intestinal disorder I had to have surgery for and I'd been dieting and working out for months before my surgery. I have a gym in my office so people saw me going in there every day so the weight loss was plausible. Nobody ever commented on my eating because I didn't go to lunch with any of them. I have never told anyone at work because of the "easy way out" thing, because it's nobody's business, because I work with catty women, and because I didn't want to be watched like a bug in a jar over everything I put in my mouth, how much I'd lost, or ridiculed if I gained. "See? I told you that doesn't work. She's just fat again". I didn't want the drama and still don't. Not telling has made my experience so much easier.

[char602]

If anyone asks me, I'm just going to channel my guy, Marshawn Lynch.... 'Thanks for asking about my weight loss.' Lynch: 'Thanks For Asking' - Video - ESPN

[bangieb]

Char602...I just watch that video! ROFL...WT???. LOL!

[bigguy]

You could take a holiday and say you are going to spend time exercising and cleansing and focusing on your health and getting some rest?