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  1. #1
    Gastric Sleeve Member amycontest's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgery date
    12/12/2014
    Surgeon
    Dr Nguyen
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    Nov 2014
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    01-04-2015 02:53 AM
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    Default Moving past being sad about food: tips?

    I start my pre-op diet on Friday. Yesterday was my anniversary. My husband said he was going to make plans for us to go to dinner but failed to do so. I found myself crying a LOT yesterday, partially over not feeling very important, but also because I felt like this was my "last chance" to eat how and what I want at a fancy dinner, and to be able to drink along with dinner. I am grieving that way more than I expected to.

    So what did you do to move past being sad about not being able to eat?




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  3. #2
    Gastric Sleeve Member natex14's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Nathan
    Surgery date
    02/06/2014
    Surgeon
    Igal Breitman
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
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    10-06-2015 03:02 PM
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    Cleveland Ohio
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    1

    Default Re: Moving past being sad about food: tips?

    Time fixes it. At first I was upset and had to weigh everything or I would overeat. Then I would look at how much I could eat and get sad. Now it's just a way of life. I can look at something and tell you if I can eat it or not. My portion doesn't look small anymore and watching people eat a big plate of food actually makes me sad for them now.

    You will still get to eat what you want later on, I eat what I want. I had some bacon this morning, a protein bar and some chicken. That is all I ate today and I don't feel like someone is punishing me. At first it feels that way though, but like I said, time will fix it.

    Stop crying, you are about to embark on an amazing experience that is going to make you strong, healthy and feel fantastic.



  4. #3
    Gastric Sleeve Member Joe Poppa's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Scott
    Surgery date
    07/28/2014
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    Aug 2014
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    09-04-2015 06:19 AM
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    Default Re: Moving past being sad about food: tips?

    Happy Anniversary.
    Maybe ask him why. I hope it was because he felt that a big, fattening dinner is not what you needed right before you start a diet.

    By the way, you will be able to go to restaurants after you are sleeved. You just won't be able to eat as much.



    Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake.

  5. #4
    Gastric Sleeve Member
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgery date
    04/15/2014
    Surgeon
    David Tichansky, MD
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Last Activity
    06-20-2016 08:11 AM
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    Default Re: Moving past being sad about food: tips?

    Hi amycontest,

    I think it's normal to be upset - you're about to undergo a big change and a special occasion reinforced that. Keep your chin up, because you're making the right decision for you.

    Broadly speaking, the sleeve gives you two limitations regarding food. (1) You're limited in food choice - this is temporary. By 6 months out you should be able to eat almost anything, and your long-term success may be driven by how smart your food choice is. I'm 7+ months out and I've been able to enjoy many special-occasion dinners, and so have my friends who have had WLS. I'm sure you will too.

    (2) You're limited in food volume - obviously this is permanent.

    Good luck! Keep checking in about your progress.



  6. #5
    Gastric Sleeve Member Ann2's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Ann2
    Surgery date
    08/18/2014
    Surgeon
    n.a.
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Missouri
    Posts
    6,630
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    Default Re: Moving past being sad about food: tips?

    I'm 14 weeks post-op. Well, 14-1/2.

    Here's what I had for lunch today:

    Sliced roasted chicken breast
    Four-cheese ravioli in basil pesto
    Herbal lettuces and cherry tomatoes with balsamic salad dressing

    Tonight at Ruby Tuesday, I'll have "Santa Fe Spicy Chicken Quesadilla." And I might have a shot of Grey Goose vodka.

    Sucks, eh?

    (The point I'm making is that you and tasty foods will all be on the planet for the rest of your long life, and you will be able to enjoy it -- but just not in the volume you have in the past. That IS the point to this surgery -- to enjoy food, but smaller, more reasonable portion sizes.)

    Happy Thanksgiving. Give Thanks!



    Consult: 235 lbs
    My and doc's preop diet: 216 -19 lbs
    M1 postop 205 -30
    M2 193 -42
    M3 184 -51
    M4 174 -61
    M5 167 -68
    M6 162 -73
    M7 156 -79
    M8 151 -84
    M9 148 -87
    M10 146 -89
    M11 144 -91
    M12 143 -92
    M13 142 -93
    M14 140 -95
    M15 139 -96
    M16 137 -98
    M17 135 -100

    First Surgiversary post

    Second Surgiversary post

    Third Surgiversary post

  7. Gastric Sleeve Surgery With Weight Loss Agents
  8. #6
    Gastric Sleeve Member linzb's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Lindsay
    Surgery date
    05/27/2014
    Surgeon
    Dr Church
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
    Last Activity
    06-09-2015 04:37 PM
    Location
    Calgary, AB Canada
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    Default Re: Moving past being sad about food: tips?

    I BAWLED MY EYES OUT MANY TIMES. Just before surgery, while on 3 weeks of only high protein ensure... right after my surgery because I was stuck in the hospital and they couldn't get my O2 up... when I was finally home and feeling so tired and gross... when all I wanted was a big hunk of meat and I was still on mushy pureed food...

    I still get down about it now and then, but remember that you are doing this for you. Think of the things you will be able to do. Think of the things you will be able to wear! I rode a horse again for the first time in a long time this summer! It was such a milestone I thought I would have to officially give up.

    Nathan has it written perfectly. You will be alright.
    Focus on the good things! You can do it!
    <a href="http://www.gastricsleeve.com/weight-loss-ticker/" title="Click here to create your own Weight Loss Ticker"><img src="http://www.gastricsleeve.com/weight-loss-ticker/linzb.gif" alt="Weight Loss Ticker" border="0"/></a>



    Goals:
    May 10th 2015 - I want to be another 40-60 lbs down!
    Sept 12th 2015 - I want to be at my goal weight so I can look good in a wedding gown!

  9. #7
    Gastric Sleeve Member llburbach's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Laura
    Surgery date
    07/08/2014
    Surgeon
    Dr Almanza
    Join Date
    Jul 2014
    Last Activity
    01-16-2016 06:13 AM
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    Show Low, Arizona, United States
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    Default Re: Moving past being sad about food: tips?

    Quote Originally Posted by natex14 View Post
    Time fixes it. At first I was upset and had to weigh everything or I would overeat. Then I would look at how much I could eat and get sad. Now it's just a way of life. I can look at something and tell you if I can eat it or not. My portion doesn't look small anymore and watching people eat a big plate of food actually makes me sad for them now.

    You will still get to eat what you want later on, I eat what I want. I had some bacon this morning, a protein bar and some chicken. That is all I ate today and I don't feel like someone is punishing me. At first it feels that way though, but like I said, time will fix it.

    Stop crying, you are about to embark on an amazing experience that is going to make you strong, healthy and feel fantastic.
    I couldn't have said this any better!! Nathan nailed it!! I no longer feel sad I can't eat an entire slice of pie......I am happy and content with a couple of bites. I eat anything I want and I know what foods to avoid. I have a much different approach and outlook about food. You will do awesome!!

    Let your husband know what you are upset about. I would rather have a late anniversary present like some new jeans once you lose all of your weight. I need the jeans more than a fancy dinner. Just try talking to your husband and make a compromise since you know good things are coming your way.

    Hugs,
    Laura



  10. #8
    Gastric Sleeve Member Cnjzmom's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Julie
    Surgery date
    09/30/2014
    Surgeon
    Dr. Juarez
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
    Last Activity
    02-20-2017 06:42 AM
    Location
    Arizona
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    Default Re: Moving past being sad about food: tips?

    I agree with all of the previous posts. Time will heal the sadness. It is a huge change. For me my life before revolved around food. So when the choice was not there anymore it was devastating. I loved to feed my feelings. If I was happy I ate. If I was sad I ate. The one thing that I could still do at 388 lbs outside of my home was go out to eat. I am almost 2 months postop. I know for me the first several weeks I was mourning my old life. But each day I have a new NSV and it feels good. I still get sad sometimes but I keep my eye to the future. You can do this.



    Beginning weight - 388
    2 week preop diet - 374
    Day of surgery - 361
    1 month - 333
    2 months - 318
    3 months - 308
    4 months - 295
    5 months - 285
    6 months - 279
    7 months - 262
    8 months - 258
    9 months - 247
    10 months - 243
    11 months - 233
    1 year - 227.8
    13 months - 216.4
    17 months - 197

  11. #9
    Gastric Sleeve Member EverLearning's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Michelle
    Surgery date
    12/15/2014
    Surgeon
    Dr. Eric Volkmann
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
    Last Activity
    11-11-2016 08:36 AM
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    Default Re: Moving past being sad about food: tips?

    You sound like me!
    I asked my husband on a date this weekend to a favorite restaurant to get a favorite meal with a carrot cake slice for dessert. About an hour ago I asked what day are we going out? He didn't remember. I have been wavering between being hurt or just putting him in the car and making it happen myself! I start my pre op diet on Monday!

    I had a special salad for lunch today thinking it was the LAST time I will ever eat it.

    To hear eventually I will be able to again is so encouraging!

    I love this forum



  12. #10
    Gastric Sleeve Member Ann2's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Ann2
    Surgery date
    08/18/2014
    Surgeon
    n.a.
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Missouri
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    Default Re: Moving past being sad about food: tips?

    EverLearning, just take your husband out for a date.

    My hubby finally convinced me that men are just not that complicated. Just tell them what you want. Multiple times, if necessary. Eventually, they will get it.



    Consult: 235 lbs
    My and doc's preop diet: 216 -19 lbs
    M1 postop 205 -30
    M2 193 -42
    M3 184 -51
    M4 174 -61
    M5 167 -68
    M6 162 -73
    M7 156 -79
    M8 151 -84
    M9 148 -87
    M10 146 -89
    M11 144 -91
    M12 143 -92
    M13 142 -93
    M14 140 -95
    M15 139 -96
    M16 137 -98
    M17 135 -100

    First Surgiversary post

    Second Surgiversary post

    Third Surgiversary post

  13. #11
    Gastric Sleeve Member terrora's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Terrie
    Surgery date
    09/24/2014
    Surgeon
    Quinones
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Last Activity
    04-02-2019 09:00 AM
    Location
    Calgary Alberta
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    Default Re: Moving past being sad about food: tips?

    I really really thought I was going to grieve food and miss my "best friend". But I don't...at all. I think you need to just hang in there and see what surgery brings you. By the time you are ready to eat solid food you will be losing weight and forgetting about how much you cannot eat. I really do not care. But I have my moments when I want to eat something sweet like a chocolate bar. If I want to bad enough I will. I will just add it to my daily calories.
    Good luck..
    BTW I went kicking and screaming to surgery. I did not want to give up food and was starting to be comfortable (albeit a hermit)
    being fat. Now I am sooo glad I did it.
    PS What's up with your hubby? Why didn't he take you out for your anniversary? I'd be upset too!



  14. #12
    Gastric Sleeve Member amycontest's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgery date
    12/12/2014
    Surgeon
    Dr Nguyen
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
    Last Activity
    01-04-2015 02:53 AM
    Posts
    47
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    Default Re: Moving past being sad about food: tips?

    Thank you all for your encouraging replies. I really appreciate them.

    I know I'm starting to get a little scared, although I'm excited for the changes to come, because I need help. I'm sure that's feeding into this as well.

    Terrie, we've been married over 10 years and have had our fair share of difficulties. He has ADD, in addition to battling narcissism along with a few other issues. I would've been happy to make the plans myself but he told me he was going to do it. I think he's having a hard time with my surgery coming up and doesn't know how to deal with those feelings.

    Ann2: depends on the man. My hubs rebels against the idea of people telling him things. I can say, "Hey, can you buy the red pillow" and he'll come home with the blue. "I know you said red, but the blue one was so nice, so I got that one instead." He's a complicated guy.



  15. #13
    Gastric Sleeve Member BillyJ's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgery date
    07/15/2014
    Surgeon
    Ramiro Sonny Cavazos
    Join Date
    Jul 2014
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    02-12-2018 10:32 PM
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    Default Re: Moving past being sad about food: tips?

    Sorry he disappointed you on your special day but don't let it consume you. Let him know how you feel and move on. He probably doesn't have a clue. My anniversary just passed and I made all these preparations. When my husband got in from work he looked at me and asked what was the occasion. I damn near killed him but I got over it. As far as moving past the ability not to eat, I found another outlet. I told myself that this was going to change my life for the better and I got out and walked. I have been volunteering which keeps me away from the kitchen. Good luck to you.



  16. #14
    Gastric Sleeve Member
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgery date
    12/12/2011
    Surgeon
    Dr Landerholm
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    May 2011
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    Default Re: Moving past being sad about food: tips?

    You will be able to eat just fine down the road. I think there is a grieving for lots of things but the key is that food is food. It's not love, comfort or a friend. Really it's just food.
    308# 12/1/2011 Start of Preop Diet
    300# 12/12/11 Lapband to Sleeve revision
    158# Feb 2013 - GOAL lost 150# 14 months post op
    150# 10/14/2013 - Plastics Dr Sauceda in Monterrey Mexico; removed 5.5# of skin
    140# Apr 2014 - maintaining 168# weight loss currently. Very happy with my sleeve and plastics results!

  17. #15
    Gastric Sleeve Member jmw's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
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    Nov 2013
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    04-04-2018 04:03 PM
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    Default Re: Moving past being sad about food: tips?

    What Cowgirl Jane said. Exactly. It is just food.



    Pre-op Diet Start Weight: 291
    Day of Surgery: 272 - 19 lbs on pre-op diet
    Month 1: 255 -17
    Month 2: 240 -15
    Month 3: 227 -13
    Month 4: 214 -13
    Month 5: 204 -10
    Month 6: 191 -13 100 POUNDS LOST!
    Month 7: 181 -10
    Month 8: 173 -8
    Month 9: 165 -8
    Month 10: 158 -7
    Month 11: 155 -3
    Month 12: 150 -5
    One year loss: -141

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