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  1. #1
    Gastric Sleeve Member ACE's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgery date
    09/13/2011
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    Rothchild
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    Default Finding your reason for food addiction and obsession

    I am curious...has anyone recognized the root of their food addiction.
    For example:"
    I believe my obsession with food stems from when i was about 6 years old. first i remember my father telling me i was too fat to wear a swim suit my mother had bouthg me (i didnt realize then that he wasnt being mean just because it was because he didnt agree with my mother on amything and he was taking his crap from my mom and putting it on me because he didnt buy the suit for me. stupid and petty i know). Secondly i believe part of it comes from living in a house with 4 adults (one of which eats like a sleeve patient) and every day there woul be enough dinner to feed about 8 people or more but by 9 am the next day it would all be gone. Even thanksgiving dinner was gone that fast. So i believe that i became obsessed with eating way way too much because it would not be there later so as a child i began hoarding food and eating so much id make myself almost sick almost every day.

    I am curious how many others have similar stories?
    "Its Not Hard Its Just New!"
    Transforming from caterpillar to butterfly to phoenix!


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  3. #2
    Gastric Sleeve Member Grace's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Grace
    Surgery date
    08/22/2011
    Surgeon
    Portsmouth Regional Hosp
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    Default Re: Finding your reason for food addiction and obsession

    I grew up in suburban Connecticut..a bastion of propriety and looking just so. Unfortunately for my food issues, I also grew up Italian. My mom and dad moved my family to CT from a rather downtrodden part of Massachusetts, the mill type of town. When she hit CT she wanted so badly for her kids to grow up more cultured so she did her best in her own way. When I was born the only girl (I'd still sell my left arm for a sister)... I was put through the whole ringer, walked with books on my head, did 4 kinds of dance, singing lessons, played the organ in church and... had an intestinal birth defect that made my stomach puffy all the time. Well, they thought it was just not enough exercise so I was outside all day and evening playing and then forced afterward to do Jack Lallane with mom. When the docs figured out my issue when I was 8, it was 2 months in the hosp, a bowel resection and my stomach muscles were never the same. I still to this day can't do a sit up. So, there's part 1. The second part is that everyone else in the family seemed to stay thin just fine on our usual meals which consisted of waffles for breakfast, fluff sandwiches for lunch and a lb of pasta in Ragu to start dinner between the 5 of us and then regular dinner, which believe me was never broiled. I was some sort of throwback nutritionally or perhaps the bowel resection changed things. But then when I look at it (and I have with prof help) I weighed all of 145 in high school and that was "fat". Everything I ate was monitored. I'd learn to sneak food. Crazy stuff like wonder bread with sugar on it. My carb addictions to feed my depression were evident even then. Third to the table (pun intended) was my being molested by my teenaged brothers from age 9 to 10. Again, I've had the therapy and I'm ok now as much as I can be but it was a factor in my food issues. Even a kid knows if they are unattractive enough the molester might leave them alone. Thanks to a couple of fabulous psych folks in the past 30 yrs I don't hide this anymore but it figures in when I start to feel sexy, as you might imagine. Another reason I want to go slow here, so as I go along if something crops up I can make a point to go work on it with my current therapist. And no they never got punished.. good CT families 30 yrs ago kept such things under wraps as to not embarrass the family...but I don't hide it anymore, either.
    Well, that was cathartic, sorry if tmi.
    Best NSV - fitting on a kid's amusement park ride with my 4 yr old grandson!
    CFIDS =Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) Also dx with post-bariatric reactive hypoglycemia; and chronic gastritis (both sleeve complications). Permanently disabled.
    Start weight 335, down to 218, up during gastritis. Have accepted there is no way to lose it with my hypoglycemia. Current weight 260. Currently doing 10 day sleeve reset and determined to get back down to my post surgical weight or close to it.


  4. #3
    Gastric Sleeve Member
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Dave
    Surgery date
    06/15/2011
    Surgeon
    DR. MARIO ALMANZA
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    Default Re: Finding your reason for food addiction and obsession

    Quote Originally Posted by Nina View Post
    Well, that was cathartic, sorry if tmi.
    we are all family here & listening is part of all our therapy. May God bless you.



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  6. #4
    Gastric Sleeve Member Grace's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Grace
    Surgery date
    08/22/2011
    Surgeon
    Portsmouth Regional Hosp
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    Default Re: Finding your reason for food addiction and obsession

    Quote Originally Posted by bobbybeegood View Post
    we are all family here & listening is part of all our therapy. May God bless you.
    Thanks Dave, and may she bless you, too ;-)
    Best NSV - fitting on a kid's amusement park ride with my 4 yr old grandson!
    CFIDS =Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) Also dx with post-bariatric reactive hypoglycemia; and chronic gastritis (both sleeve complications). Permanently disabled.
    Start weight 335, down to 218, up during gastritis. Have accepted there is no way to lose it with my hypoglycemia. Current weight 260. Currently doing 10 day sleeve reset and determined to get back down to my post surgical weight or close to it.

  7. #5
    Gastric Sleeve Member buddyd11's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Buddy
    Surgery date
    07/11/2011
    Surgeon
    Dr Thomas Borland
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    Default Re: Finding your reason for food addiction and obsession

    Yes we are all here to listen each other, Cyber Hugs for all (((HUGS))) I can remember when I was in Jr High school and I would get a bad report card (almost every 6 weeks)my father would whip me and take me out side and call me names like fat ass and lard ass and make me run up and down the street in public while he screamed at me the whole time..ugh what a memory to carry with you. I will never do those things to my sons. My dad probably doesnt remember doing that but I will never forget. :-(



    ********145Lbs Lost what a Journey this has been**********
    Sarcasm is a body's natural defence to stupidity...........

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  10. #6
    Gastric Sleeve Member
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Pixie
    Surgery date
    09/06/2011
    Surgeon
    Dr. Mallico
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    Default Re: Finding your reason for food addiction and obsession

    I guess my obsession began when I was about 8 years old. I had an older brother he was twelve years older, a sister four years younger and of course I was the middle child. When I was in the Second Grade my brother got drafted. We were a close knit family. My parents owned an operated a grocery store/service station. My father worked from sun up to after sun down every day. My Mom helped him with the business. When my brother went to Vietnam our house became very emotional. With all the news coverage about the fighting, and my Mother being a nervous wreck I became the peace maker. I was the one that strived to make other people happy. And still to this day I try to fix everybody and everything. Backing up when I was eight my Mother took me to the doctor and he put me on diet pills and told me I was obese. That began my life long eating problems. I was able to get anything I wanted from the store. After school everyday I stopped by the store before going home and got a Sundrop, Candy Bar and chips. That became an addiction for me. When I was depressed or worried my comfort was eating sweets. They were there for me anytime. I remember wanting to be thin like everyone else. High School I had plenty of friends. I was the one with a pretty face that dressed nice. The guy's that really liked me, only wanted to be my friend because they didn't want to be make fun of. My weight has caused me to make some decisions that I regret in life. But those day's are over. I've finally figured out that ultimately food doesn't make me happy for the long haul it's only a quick fix. My brother that was in vietnam was killed in a hunting accident when I was about twenty four, then next year my Mom died with cancer. So I've faced alot of adversity in my life. I'm finally ready to live for myself. I want to be healthy, and be able to have enough energy to go to my son's sporting events, and to play with my granddaughter. Now I have to choose the right foods and realize that food don't solve my problems but adds to them. Didn't mean to write a book.
    Pixie




  11. #7
    Gastric Sleeve Member Glock's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Drew
    Surgery date
    06/23/2011
    Surgeon
    Dr. Ken Hollis
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    Default Re: Finding your reason for food addiction and obsession

    Quote Originally Posted by Nina View Post
    Thanks Dave, and may she bless you, too ;-)
    Uhhh...Nina - God is a He
    I don't know that any deep-seeded issues made me fat; I blame poor diet and lack of exercise (which created a vicious cycle of weight gain and more lethargy, etc.).


  12. #8
    Gastric Sleeve Member ACE's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgery date
    09/13/2011
    Surgeon
    Rothchild
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    Default Re: Finding your reason for food addiction and obsession

    Quote Originally Posted by Nina View Post
    I grew up in suburban Connecticut..a bastion of propriety and looking just so. Unfortunately for my food issues, I also grew up Italian. My mom and dad moved my family to CT from a rather downtrodden part of Massachusetts, the mill type of town. When she hit CT she wanted so badly for her kids to grow up more cultured so she did her best in her own way. When I was born the only girl (I'd still sell my left arm for a sister)... I was put through the whole ringer, walked with books on my head, did 4 kinds of dance, singing lessons, played the organ in church and... had an intestinal birth defect that made my stomach puffy all the time. Well, they thought it was just not enough exercise so I was outside all day and evening playing and then forced afterward to do Jack Lallane with mom. When the docs figured out my issue when I was 8, it was 2 months in the hosp, a bowel resection and my stomach muscles were never the same. I still to this day can't do a sit up. So, there's part 1. The second part is that everyone else in the family seemed to stay thin just fine on our usual meals which consisted of waffles for breakfast, fluff sandwiches for lunch and a lb of pasta in Ragu to start dinner between the 5 of us and then regular dinner, which believe me was never broiled. I was some sort of throwback nutritionally or perhaps the bowel resection changed things. But then when I look at it (and I have with prof help) I weighed all of 145 in high school and that was "fat". Everything I ate was monitored. I'd learn to sneak food. Crazy stuff like wonder bread with sugar on it. My carb addictions to feed my depression were evident even then. Third to the table (pun intended) was my being molested by my teenaged brothers from age 9 to 10. Again, I've had the therapy and I'm ok now as much as I can be but it was a factor in my food issues. Even a kid knows if they are unattractive enough the molester might leave them alone. Thanks to a couple of fabulous psych folks in the past 30 yrs I don't hide this anymore but it figures in when I start to feel sexy, as you might imagine. Another reason I want to go slow here, so as I go along if something crops up I can make a point to go work on it with my current therapist. And no they never got punished.. good CT families 30 yrs ago kept such things under wraps as to not embarrass the family...but I don't hide it anymore, either.
    Well, that was cathartic, sorry if tmi.
    Not TMI at all this is exactly what i was wondering about because i figure if i cant recognize what is triggering my "addiction" and obsession then i can face it head on and over come it and i was wondering if anyone else has been in the same boat so thank you so much
    "Its Not Hard Its Just New!"
    Transforming from caterpillar to butterfly to phoenix!


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  14. #9
    Gastric Sleeve Member
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgery date
    12/12/2011
    Surgeon
    Dr Landerholm
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    Default Re: Finding your reason for food addiction and obsession

    I was sexually molested from about ages 4-6. I was not a fat baby, but looking back at pictures, I ballooned up betweened kindergarten and 1st grade.

    In addition, food was used as both reward and punishment in our family. My dad was food obsessed which I believe came from his childhood issues including growing up very hungry during depression years. We had a farm so I had access to alot of fresh produce, but my dad couldn't eat a veggie that wasn't either smothered in cheese or deepfried. Although I didn't like that, I was forced to eat it. Food and emotional abuse was closely linked in my family.

    I have done years of counseling and all that... so I kinda feel like now it is just a really bad habit. I don't binge eat, but I like to eat and portion control is an ongoing challenge. Also, I tend to turn to snacking if I am feeling stress, lonliness etc. I am a pretty "easy keeper" and dont need alot of food to maintain my weight so even just having a bigger serving sizes or adding a dessert after dinner is too much. I do feel very positive that I haven't passed the food and emotion relationship trait onto my kids. They love a good meal, but it doesn't seem to carry the emotional baggage for them.
    308# 12/1/2011 Start of Preop Diet
    300# 12/12/11 Lapband to Sleeve revision
    158# Feb 2013 - GOAL lost 150# 14 months post op
    150# 10/14/2013 - Plastics Dr Sauceda in Monterrey Mexico; removed 5.5# of skin
    140# Apr 2014 - maintaining 168# weight loss currently. Very happy with my sleeve and plastics results!

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  16. #10
    Gastric Sleeve Member jgilliam1955's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgery date
    07/26/2011
    Surgeon
    Dr. Thomas Clark
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    Default Re: Finding your reason for food addiction and obsession

    Good subject. Read "Rethinking Thin". This goes into why we have food cravings. Everybody is different but when our body is telling us to eat you can't fight it. The book says food craves are as strong as the urge to breath. This is why over 95% of diet's fail. No study In the last 100 years have ever shown permanent weight loss. They all fail.
    <a href="http://www.gastricsleeve.com/weight-loss-ticker/" title="Click here to create your own Weight Loss Ticker"><img src="http://www.gastricsleeve.com/weight-loss-ticker/jgilliam1955.gif" alt="Weight Loss Ticker" border="0"/></a>

    July 26 2011 Sleeve date
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  18. #11
    Gastric Sleeve Member Grace's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Grace
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    08/22/2011
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    Portsmouth Regional Hosp
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    Default Re: Finding your reason for food addiction and obsession

    Quote Originally Posted by jgilliam1955 View Post
    Good subject. Read "Rethinking Thin". This goes into why we have food cravings. Everybody is different but when our body is telling us to eat you can't fight it. The book says food craves are as strong as the urge to breath. This is why over 95% of diet's fail. No study In the last 100 years have ever shown permanent weight loss. They all fail.
    But this sleeve does give us a powerful edge... the loss of ghrelin may be the solution to that 5% number and we are on the forefront of a new wave of folks getting it done! Pysch told us we are in the 1% club. Only 1% of morbidly obese people choose to do anything about it and right now only about 1% of them has had a sleeve. We're elite
    Best NSV - fitting on a kid's amusement park ride with my 4 yr old grandson!
    CFIDS =Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) Also dx with post-bariatric reactive hypoglycemia; and chronic gastritis (both sleeve complications). Permanently disabled.
    Start weight 335, down to 218, up during gastritis. Have accepted there is no way to lose it with my hypoglycemia. Current weight 260. Currently doing 10 day sleeve reset and determined to get back down to my post surgical weight or close to it.

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  20. #12
    Gastric Sleeve Member Grace's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Grace
    Surgery date
    08/22/2011
    Surgeon
    Portsmouth Regional Hosp
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    New England
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    Default Re: Finding your reason for food addiction and obsession

    Quote Originally Posted by cowgirljane View Post
    I was sexually molested from about ages 4-6. I was not a fat baby, but looking back at pictures, I ballooned up betweened kindergarten and 1st grade.

    In addition, food was used as both reward and punishment in our family. My dad was food obsessed which I believe came from his childhood issues including growing up very hungry during depression years. We had a farm so I had access to alot of fresh produce, but my dad couldn't eat a veggie that wasn't either smothered in cheese or deepfried. Although I didn't like that, I was forced to eat it. Food and emotional abuse was closely linked in my family.

    I have done years of counseling and all that... so I kinda feel like now it is just a really bad habit. I don't binge eat, but I like to eat and portion control is an ongoing challenge. Also, I tend to turn to snacking if I am feeling stress, lonliness etc. I am a pretty "easy keeper" and dont need alot of food to maintain my weight so even just having a bigger serving sizes or adding a dessert after dinner is too much. I do feel very positive that I haven't passed the food and emotion relationship trait onto my kids. They love a good meal, but it doesn't seem to carry the emotional baggage for them.
    yeah... me too, I ballooned up just after my abuse. Seems there are a surprising number of us, of both genders who end up using fat as a defense mechanism... I'm happy for you that you had therapy, it does help a bit. I worry for those who haven't.... thank you for sharing with us.
    Best NSV - fitting on a kid's amusement park ride with my 4 yr old grandson!
    CFIDS =Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) Also dx with post-bariatric reactive hypoglycemia; and chronic gastritis (both sleeve complications). Permanently disabled.
    Start weight 335, down to 218, up during gastritis. Have accepted there is no way to lose it with my hypoglycemia. Current weight 260. Currently doing 10 day sleeve reset and determined to get back down to my post surgical weight or close to it.

  21. #13
    Gastric Sleeve Member JoyESS1's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Joy St. John
    Surgery date
    11/22/2011
    Surgeon
    Robert Landerholm
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    Default Re: Finding your reason for food addiction and obsession

    I too was sexually molested and beaten and have had tons of therapy about it. I have also done a load of research on food addiction and obesity issues. The professionals in this field know a lot and know very little. Approx. 85% of women with food issues were sexually molested and there is a direct correlation between the weight of the obese woman and the closeness of her molester. There is also a lot of research that implies that there are genetic components to this issue. A penchant for being bigger and a penchant for being addicted to sugar and other highly refined (usually white) carbohydrates. I think I got it all...I was born obese; 9 lbs and only 18 inches long. At 18 mos. the pediatrician told my mother to put that obese baby on a diet! I too grew up doing Jack Lalanne w my mother in the early mornings. My mother fought her weight but I think more in the ordinary American way...that is she was never obese and fluctuated between an 8 and a 12 in clothing sizes. To this day, my mother counts calories (age 91!) and exercises. She can't seem to ever understand why I can't just do what I need to do. Even when I've had great success at weight loss (in a support group for food addicts I lost 255 lbs and kept it off for almost 10 yrs) she kept asking me when I was going to lose more and why did I still have to be so careful about what I ate; "surely you know well enough that you could splurge every now and then?" My mother worried more about MY weight than her own; putting me on my first diet when I was 8. At the same time she gave me a children's cook book and taught me to bake. By 11 I was the main cook for the family and therefore could sneak food all the time! At 11 my father raped me, I read an article in Seventeen Magazine about models who cleverly kept themselves from gaining weight by making themselves throw up! I also saw ads on TV with Dana Andrews for AA and mused about such an organization for foodaholics. Little did I know. Drugs and alcohol became addictions on the way to combating the weight and while I tried and tried to purge like those models I never could do it until I learned accidentally that consuming a condiment of one kind would make me throw up. Then it became a daily 4 or 5 times a day thing....but NEVER did I get thin from it. I remember in 6th grade being weighed in front of the whole class and having my teacher gasp and say, " you are the fattest kid in the school!" I was. From pictures I know that I matured very early on (periods by age 10) and reached my full height by age 13. (well except for some weird anomally that put on 2 inches of height after I was 18!!!) I was bigger than most of my fellow students but I did not look fat...sometimes I looked a little chubby but most of my teen years I was pretty cute I think ( :-D I dated and then married a man who way outate me every time and who had also struggled with his weight and a nagging mother. We were like kids in a candy shop when we got married. Suddenly no one told us what to do anymore and so we ate to our heart's content and I gained 100 lbs the first year we were married. He gained only about 50 lbs. of course. Whenever we lost weight at the same time (it seems lie we were always taking turns here and never thin together) sex improved and got too scary for me and so we both turned back to eating as a way to stop all that. We both went to treatment for food addiction and both had individual and couples therapy throughout the years. After the 3rd big weight loss (him 130 and me 255) he went back out and didn't tell me. I found out and confronted him and he started hitting me. I ran away and we stayed apart for 8 yrs. Now we live together off and on though we keep our separate apartments and finances and are legally separated. He had a RnY 3 yrs ago and lost 180 lbs. I am still trying to get down far enough to have the sleeve. I know it is ONLY a tool and they are not going to operate on my mind. I have interviewed the 12 people in my food addiction fellowship who all had bariatric surgery after losing and regaining over 100 lbs. While all 12 of them have gained a little back after their initial losses after surgery; every one of them says they would do it again in a heartbeat! I thought that bariatric surgery was somehow wrong. I thought that it was a copout or taking the "easier, softer way" and not really trusting in God to help. In the fellowship I still go to (although now I also attend special focus meetings for those who focus on bariatric surgery) we are taught that our problem is spiritual with physcial and mental ramifications. I am not certain that I totally agree with that. I think that obesity is a very complex issue and that it is not just caused by child abuse or genetics or lack of a connection to a Higher Power but that all of these things come into play. My tools today are: 1. A clear plan of eating: what, how much and when. 2. Service to others to get out of myself and off the pity pot. Also keeps me busy so I don't eat as much. 3. Accountablity. That is I have several people to whom I talk every day about whether I'm using these tools and what I have or haven't eaten. 4. Therapy--ongoing. 5. Plan of action: this may be my exercise plan or my to do list but I try to have some structure to my days so that I don't just lay around and eat. 6. Reading spiritual literature. 7. Journaling and writing also about what I read. 8. Gatherings: I attend church and Bible study and meetings with other food addicts and bariatric surgery patients so that I don't isolate myself and increase my depression and/or eating. 9. Reaching out when I want to blow it. I call people and/or interact w people online so that I have someone who knows me and who understands some of the stuff I've been thru and can challenge me to not keep hurting myself. These are people like you guys...who care and listen and comfort. I am now going to add that 10th tool which will be the surgery to slow down my volume eating and maybe prevent me from regaining so much so fast.
    LOL...I also didn't mean to write a book. Thanks so much.
    Mourning may last all night but joy comes with the morning light.



  22. #14
    Gastric Sleeve Member
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgery date
    06/01/2011
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    Dr. Michael Thomas
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    Default Re: Finding your reason for food addiction and obsession

    pixie i'm from new orleans and all we do is think and talk about food. i still ask everyone everyday, what did u eat today? now i eat 5-6 times a day, never go hungry and have just changed from choices regarding food and doing beautifully. trust me, i have just gone through a 3 week stall so, it isn't always a breeze, but as long as u get in your protein, exercise and liquids, ur going to be fine. the sleeve has been the best thing i have ever done for myself. i wish you peace and best wishes on your new journey.




  23. #15
    Gastric Sleeve Member Grace's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Grace
    Surgery date
    08/22/2011
    Surgeon
    Portsmouth Regional Hosp
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    Apr 2011
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    New England
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    Default Re: Finding your reason for food addiction and obsession

    Quote Originally Posted by JoyESS1 View Post
    I too was sexually molested and beaten and have had tons of therapy about it. I have also done a load of research on food addiction and obesity issues. The professionals in this field know a lot and know very little. Approx. 85% of women with food issues were sexually molested and there is a direct correlation between the weight of the obese woman and the closeness of her molester. There is also a lot of research that implies that there are genetic components to this issue. A penchant for being bigger and a penchant for being addicted to sugar and other highly refined (usually white) carbohydrates. I think I got it all...I was born obese; 9 lbs and only 18 inches long. At 18 mos. the pediatrician told my mother to put that obese baby on a diet! I too grew up doing Jack Lalanne w my mother in the early mornings. My mother fought her weight but I think more in the ordinary American way...that is she was never obese and fluctuated between an 8 and a 12 in clothing sizes. To this day, my mother counts calories (age 91!) and exercises. She can't seem to ever understand why I can't just do what I need to do. Even when I've had great success at weight loss (in a support group for food addicts I lost 255 lbs and kept it off for almost 10 yrs) she kept asking me when I was going to lose more and why did I still have to be so careful about what I ate; "surely you know well enough that you could splurge every now and then?" My mother worried more about MY weight than her own; putting me on my first diet when I was 8. At the same time she gave me a children's cook book and taught me to bake. By 11 I was the main cook for the family and therefore could sneak food all the time! At 11 my father raped me, I read an article in Seventeen Magazine about models who cleverly kept themselves from gaining weight by making themselves throw up! I also saw ads on TV with Dana Andrews for AA and mused about such an organization for foodaholics. Little did I know. Drugs and alcohol became addictions on the way to combating the weight and while I tried and tried to purge like those models I never could do it until I learned accidentally that consuming a condiment of one kind would make me throw up. Then it became a daily 4 or 5 times a day thing....but NEVER did I get thin from it. I remember in 6th grade being weighed in front of the whole class and having my teacher gasp and say, " you are the fattest kid in the school!" I was. From pictures I know that I matured very early on (periods by age 10) and reached my full height by age 13. (well except for some weird anomally that put on 2 inches of height after I was 18!!!) I was bigger than most of my fellow students but I did not look fat...sometimes I looked a little chubby but most of my teen years I was pretty cute I think ( :-D I dated and then married a man who way outate me every time and who had also struggled with his weight and a nagging mother. We were like kids in a candy shop when we got married. Suddenly no one told us what to do anymore and so we ate to our heart's content and I gained 100 lbs the first year we were married. He gained only about 50 lbs. of course. Whenever we lost weight at the same time (it seems lie we were always taking turns here and never thin together) sex improved and got too scary for me and so we both turned back to eating as a way to stop all that. We both went to treatment for food addiction and both had individual and couples therapy throughout the years. After the 3rd big weight loss (him 130 and me 255) he went back out and didn't tell me. I found out and confronted him and he started hitting me. I ran away and we stayed apart for 8 yrs. Now we live together off and on though we keep our separate apartments and finances and are legally separated. He had a RnY 3 yrs ago and lost 180 lbs. I am still trying to get down far enough to have the sleeve. I know it is ONLY a tool and they are not going to operate on my mind. I have interviewed the 12 people in my food addiction fellowship who all had bariatric surgery after losing and regaining over 100 lbs. While all 12 of them have gained a little back after their initial losses after surgery; every one of them says they would do it again in a heartbeat! I thought that bariatric surgery was somehow wrong. I thought that it was a copout or taking the "easier, softer way" and not really trusting in God to help. In the fellowship I still go to (although now I also attend special focus meetings for those who focus on bariatric surgery) we are taught that our problem is spiritual with physcial and mental ramifications. I am not certain that I totally agree with that. I think that obesity is a very complex issue and that it is not just caused by child abuse or genetics or lack of a connection to a Higher Power but that all of these things come into play. My tools today are: 1. A clear plan of eating: what, how much and when. 2. Service to others to get out of myself and off the pity pot. Also keeps me busy so I don't eat as much. 3. Accountablity. That is I have several people to whom I talk every day about whether I'm using these tools and what I have or haven't eaten. 4. Therapy--ongoing. 5. Plan of action: this may be my exercise plan or my to do list but I try to have some structure to my days so that I don't just lay around and eat. 6. Reading spiritual literature. 7. Journaling and writing also about what I read. 8. Gatherings: I attend church and Bible study and meetings with other food addicts and bariatric surgery patients so that I don't isolate myself and increase my depression and/or eating. 9. Reaching out when I want to blow it. I call people and/or interact w people online so that I have someone who knows me and who understands some of the stuff I've been thru and can challenge me to not keep hurting myself. These are people like you guys...who care and listen and comfort. I am now going to add that 10th tool which will be the surgery to slow down my volume eating and maybe prevent me from regaining so much so fast.
    LOL...I also didn't mean to write a book. Thanks so much.
    Joy - so much here. I want to go back in time and slap your teacher and the others who hurt you... but for now... (((Joy)))
    Best NSV - fitting on a kid's amusement park ride with my 4 yr old grandson!
    CFIDS =Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) Also dx with post-bariatric reactive hypoglycemia; and chronic gastritis (both sleeve complications). Permanently disabled.
    Start weight 335, down to 218, up during gastritis. Have accepted there is no way to lose it with my hypoglycemia. Current weight 260. Currently doing 10 day sleeve reset and determined to get back down to my post surgical weight or close to it.

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