how did u deal with these issues plz?????

[jessy81]

Hi everyone,
i'm hoping 2 get sleeved by the end of Sept. i've done as much research as i could now , but i'm really concerned about the post-surgery eating habits. my husband loves cooking & eating (i just love eating!). He's usually the one who does all the cooking & he makes the best food ever. I'm really concerned about how not eating his food + going 2 our favorite restaurants + eating at our parents' + going 2 parties +......etc will impact our relationship. Food is a main part of our lives (food network channel, restaurants, cooking,....etc). I know that nothing will taste as good as thin feels but my husband is concerned about a lot of things (& so am i):
1- the operation's complications
2- being in constant pain & vomiting a lot
3- getting depressed from not being able 2 enjoy food again unless pureed.
4- depending on vitamins & shakes 4 my basic nutrition 4 my whole life
5- banning most high carb/sugar/fat foods from my diet for life.
6- stretching my tummy & going back 2 bad habits.

I'm not really concerned about the food thing cuz if i'm not hungry i probably won't care what i'm eating, esp. that maybe 9 or 11 months post op. i'll be able to take "bites" out of my favorite food. it seems ideal 2 me , tough , but perfect (where u can taste ur fav. junky food but not eat a lot of it). he's 291 lbs with a bmi of 40 so we're both supposed 2 b on a healthy diet , but i know that's not gonna happen ..............

i used 2 play sports b4 getting so fat , so i'm hoping that the weight loss will encourage me 2 get back to that again + looking great in clothes again & playing with hair & make-up (sigh), i really miss that ............

i really appreciate ur advice thanx

[dutchgal]

Jessy....I've been thinking about alot of the same things that you mentioned but mostly the food part since I am currently single. I don't have to deal with my weight coming between my man and me because I finally realized that it already has...with my ex husband and my ex boyfriend....both who got tired of my drama and diets and refusal to allow them to love me because as a fattie, I didn't think I deserved or was worthy of their love. I think someone wrote recently that they were going to have a hard time not being able to eat a taco and that sort of hit me......cuz i love tacos. However, I want my health to be as good as it can be and if that means that I can only eat 1/2 a taco, then so be it. We DO have our priorities so wrong in this world regarding food. Food is a fuel for our bodies and everyone has a whacked relationship with food, not just us chubbies. Our portions are too large...way too large..........and we plan our lives around a 'food event'. We live to eat instead of eat to live and anyone who does that, fat or thin, has an unhealthy relationship with food. Its a huge cultural issue in America and probably other places as well. I would hope that your man will be supportive of your journey and encourage you along the way and if it comes to be that he isn't, then he isn't the man for you. But let's hope that he has your health and best wishes in his heart and can learn to cook smaller, tiny portions!

[Dotch Mark Phillips]

Jesse, are you concerned about things that have not happened to you yet? If so, focus on the things that you are experiencing today. The journey is enough to worry about those things that are experiencing TODAY. In some cases, you could actually obsess about things that may not actually happen to YOU! Begin to envision yourself lighter, healthier and full of energy. Being sleeved affects so many people in different ways. Reflect upon those things, but focus on your pre-surgery weight loss. That in and of itself, will begin to be the peephole into your life after being sleeved. Good luck!

[BeWell]

Hi there
Here are some of my thoughts on the issues you've raised:
1. Complications - I didn't have any. I do suggest you follow your doctor's instructions regarding pre-op diet.
2. Pain and vomiting. I was sore for a few days after the surgery at the sites where incisions were made - no big deal. About three or four weeks later, I was sore at the sites again, but a little deeper. That lasted about four days. My doctor said it was part of the healing process. I vomited slightly once...I think either I ate too fast or too much.
3. Getting depressed about not being able to eat food - I was able to start eating normal food about 2 and a half weeks after surgery. I wasn't really hungry but did want something that was not pureed. I now eat everything (except not too many veggies yet)...and have between 800 to 1200 calories a day. I focus on protein first, then fruit, then veggies, then starch.
4. For gastric sleeve - you don't need as many vitamins as with bypass. I take a multi, vitamin D, B-12, and Vitron C (iron). But I was deficient in D and iron before the operation.
5. Banning high carbs and sugars for life - High carbs and sugars aren't really that great for us are they? You can still have them in moderation. I think you'll be surprised at how you want to eat more healthy food after the operation.
6. Stretching tummy and back to old habits - Yes it's possible. It's up to you. I've heard from several sources not to drink and eat at the same time to avoid stretching your tummy. Also, to eat mindfully - your tummy lets you know pretty quickly when you're full - don't ignore it - if you do, you'll feel physically ill and worse after the extra bites.

Part of the deal with my surgery was to enroll in a mandatory 12 week program to help establish better eating and exercise habits. I am halfway through it. The program offers a lot of tips regarding vitamins (chewables are easier to take), exercise (you gotta exercise 5 times a week to keep the weight off), weight training (2x a week helps you stay toned and strong), and recipes, and coping tips. A lot of the people who have graduated join Weight Watchers afterwards to keep them on track and be accountable. I had my surgery almost 3 months ago and have lost over 45 pounds. The more weight you lose, the more you want to exercise and move around, look good, fix your hair, etc.

Good luck and hang in there !;

[connie]

DITTO - Dutchgal

[connie]

Actually, ditto to everyone!!! I am finding just 10 days out that I am so looking forward to a new lifestyle---plus my husband is very supportive, which might also be a positive factor in my recovery. I am embracing my new life---after years of bad eating and inability to even tie my shoes easily---I believe I have given a second chance at life. Keep us posted on how you are doing. We are a family of support here.

[eceteacher]

I find that I am enjoying people more. Today after church we went to our usual restaurant, I order a grilled chicken breast, ate about one third of it and throughly enjoy being there. Of course i have already posted about the wonderful fish taco. Even at McDonald's i can eat their oatmeal with no sugar and it is good. So I am sure every place will have something to fit your needs.
I was scared of surgery too but the surgery is so easy and not really invasive.
I had very little pain after surgery and it was easily controlled. My big problem is the gas pain in my left shoulder, but I overall feel so much better already that I can push that to the back of my mind.
I have not been sick one time. I have found it is easy to realize that you need to quit eating, but i am full at that point and unlike before I can easily push the plate away.
I have not wanted any sweets yet, but if I do then I will allow myself a small portion and I feel sure I will be satisfied.
Everyone talks about head hunger and yes I do get hungry watching tv and seeing commecials. Longhorn sends me coupons by email with scrumpious looking meals, but it is true, I just do not crave food as i did before.
Food does not own me anymore and that is worth it.
I am sure there are support groups where you can talk to real face-to-face people. I would highly advise you attend some of those before you do this surgery. My surgeon's office staff ran the meeting every week. They were great.
Good luck.

[jane_vsg_ayla]

As far as pain, vomiting, complications, pureed food - remember these are not guaranteed to happen and if they are its a temporary situations... I think for most people after a few weeks they are over a lot of those issues. For some it might linger, but in general its only a month or two out of the rest of your life.

As for food.. I understand - I never watch food network because its double torture watching food being made that i cant eat and makes me hungry! How many people sit eating bags of chips while watching that stuff! But in my situation the opposite has happened - I have never had an interest in food... I know that sounds funny because of course I was overweight almost my whole life. But what I mean is that I am hungry all the time and eat a lot, but I dont care about quality or variety. I swear I ate 4-6 ham and cheese hot pockets every day for nearly a year, plus diet mtn dew (4-12 per day) and then an occasional cupcake or gas station food. And I was fine with that. I dont cook, dont care about spices or flavors etc. I find something I like and live on it. My general rule was that if it took longer to make than it did to eat it, it was not worth it. Making a bowl of cereal or anything that required more steps than unwrapping and putting in the microwave was "cooking" to me.

However, since I had the surgery I have spent more time in the kitchen than ever! I found a few sites with really easy recipes for really small portions of good protein rich healthy type foods and I actually WANT to make them! I have made my whole family taste them, and I bought over 15 little "gadget" type kitchen things (mini muffin maker, mini donut maker, mini donut hole maker, mini tart pans, mini quiche pans, etc - anything that made a bite sized food I bought!!!). I made a whole virtual cookbook from just one site in particular (I have since been adding to it from other sites and suggestions on here too) - the world according to eggface. You and your husband need to spend some time on these kind of sites! She had RNY but loves to cook, and is determined to replicate her favorite recipes and flavors in a way that is good for someone that had weight loss surgery (ie high protein, low carb, etc). I have made her S'Mores flavored protein ice cream, Almond Joy flavored, Girl Scout mint cookie flavored etc. She has 3 minute microwave protein cakes that can be really good. She has all kinds of pizzas etc. Thats about as complicated as I get but she has other stuff I would never even try!

Instead of this coming between you two, this could actually strengthen your relationship due to the common goal. His new "job" as the cook in the house is to figure out new recipes that not only are tasty as before but good for BOTH of you!

So here is my list of sites I have so far (some suggested from people on this forum in other threads)... maybe others will add theirs? Start a favorite folder in your browser... print out recipes you want to try, make a whole post-op cookbook. Try the recipes NOW! He can portion some of them and freeze for later, or at least figure out what you like ahead of time. Not all of these are weightloss friendly - some are just vegan or healthy alternatives from other foodies who what good food that is healthy for them. So not all their recipes are going to be appropriate for your needs... but if they sound good, you could work on adapting them so they are...

theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com
chocolatecoveredkatie.com
heathereatsalmondbutter.com
ohsheglows.com
bariatriceating.com
vsggoodlife.com
Linda's Low Carb Menus & Recipes - Home
greenmonstermovement.com
http://www.lap-band-surgery-site.com...y-recipes.html
Nutrition - Susan Maria's Before & After Help


Specific recipes:
Thin & Crispy Pizza Crust! Easiest EVER! Pics included! - Low Carb Friends
http://www.gastricsleeve.com/forum/g...-truffles.html
Escape from Obesity: Cauliflower Pizza

[CFF]

Jessy,
Just because others have had a lot of post op problems doesn necessarily mean you will. Follow your doctor's orders exactly. Actually, I stayed on clear liquids a couple of days longer than he said and did the same with the mushy foods. I never thew up until once about eight weeks out when I ate too much food. The mush food phase was the hardest for me just because it was so boring, but after that, going out with friends is not a problem. I just eat slowly and just a litte, and it works. No one really seems to notice. You will be fine.

[jessy81]

Thanx u guys :-) i'm so happy 2 b a part of such a super supportive group, i really appreciate all ur support & input here with me :-) as 4 the op i'm thinking that i hopefully won't b in agony 4ever, plus i'm missing out on a lot of things in my life & my marriage, also i can't spend my whole life starving on low cal diets 2 b thin (then get bored & get fat yet again!) or just let go & eat like a pig & ultimately look like one :-( i'm only 29, i haven't felt beautiful or wanted or happy in about 10 years, i'm also sick & tired of so many things:
1-how my knees &legs ache from a flight of stairs.
2-wearing black 24/7 hoping 2 look decent in anything
3-hating lingerie&sex
4-being bitter&jealous of anyone thin&beautiful
5-how ppl look at me at parties when i eat anything
6-how ppl automatically comment on my weight&give me advice without me even asking
7-crying at how horrible i look&feel
8-sweating&huffing at the slightest effort
9-looking ugly in anything i wear
10-having no control whatsoever over food. It's like i'm on crack!
11-being scared of getting sick cuz of being so fat
12-knowing that i'm ugly cuz i'm fat.
Being fat is killing me inside out.
I need this op.
I just hope that it'll go as smoothly as possible.
Thanx again everybody:-)
i'm hoping 2 join ur loser bench soon!:-)

[connie]

Jessy---God bless your heart. I know those feelings and they are not fun. --- First and do this today---take a post-it note and write GOD DOES NOT MAKE JUNK AND I AM NOT JUNK. Put one on your bathroom mirror, on the car dash, on the frig door, we need to get you in the recovery boat--- from now on you do not have to do this battle by yourself. Also on your bathroom mirror put one that says Good Morning Jessy, I love you- God.

[mary11]

Hi Jessie,
I can identify with so many of the reasons that you have written as to why I want this surgery. Good luck to you and I will look forward to reading your posts as you continue on this journey and get your beautiful self back.

Thanx u guys :-) i'm so happy 2 b a part of such a super supportive group, i really appreciate all ur support & input here with me :-) as 4 the op i'm thinking that i hopefully won't b in agony 4ever, plus i'm missing out on a lot of things in my life & my marriage, also i can't spend my whole life starving on low cal diets 2 b thin (then get bored & get fat yet again!) or just let go & eat like a pig & ultimately look like one :-( i'm only 29, i haven't felt beautiful or wanted or happy in about 10 years, i'm also sick & tired of so many things:
1-how my knees &legs ache from a flight of stairs.
2-wearing black 24/7 hoping 2 look decent in anything
3-hating lingerie&sex
4-being bitter&jealous of anyone thin&beautiful
5-how ppl look at me at parties when i eat anything
6-how ppl automatically comment on my weight&give me advice without me even asking
7-crying at how horrible i look&feel
8-sweating&huffing at the slightest effort
9-looking ugly in anything i wear
10-having no control whatsoever over food. It's like i'm on crack!
11-being scared of getting sick cuz of being so fat
12-knowing that i'm ugly cuz i'm fat.
Being fat is killing me inside out.
I need this op.
I just hope that it'll go as smoothly as possible.
Thanx again everybody:-)
i'm hoping 2 join ur loser bench soon!:-)

[LeslieF]

Jessy- don't fret. Read up on the VSG surgery as much as you can. If you are generally healthy you should come thru this fine. As for me-
1- the operation's complications - I didn't have any. Talk to your surgeon about your concerns.
2- being in constant pain & vomiting a lot- Alot of folks here had discomfort not pain but called it pain. The labproscopic procedure pushes around your muscles and that is the post operative "pain" that you feel. It feels like sore muscles every time you go from an sitting to a standing position. It goes away after a couple of weeks. Hang in there.
3- getting depressed from not being able 2 enjoy food again unless pureed.- I was eating regular food a in about 10 days. Every doctors post op directions are different. You learn to chew your food to death!!!!
4- depending on vitamins & shakes 4 my basic nutrition 4 my whole life- again you are expected to eat real food and not shakes. Have you spoken to your surgeon at all?
5- banning most high carb/sugar/fat foods from my diet for life. - I follow a high protein, low carb/sugar diet plan. When I hit my goal weight I expect to enjoy all foods in proper portions. I am in contact with my group's dietician and she has given me a plan based on my preferences.
6- stretching my tummy & going back 2 bad habits.- you won't let that happen will you. You will be following the directions of your doctor.

Don't worry about what if...you will be given information on how to get along with your new tummy and you will for once know when enough is enough. It is amazing how little will fill you up. Look forward and never look back!!!!!

[smkeller]

You worry too much. Look at your list. You really can't afford NOT to take the risk. And the risk is minimal if you pick an experienced well reviewed surgeon. Mine was Dr. Aceves in Mexicali. One of the best. Stay away from cut rate places and inexperienced doctors and you'll be fine. You didn't even mention the most likely problem that you will have - your husband's insecurity as you move forward with this and then when you begin to get slimmer. You'll see. Best of luck. Don't wait too long. One month out tomorrow, still happy with my decision.

[brebanj]

Jess we were consered about the same things but i had to loss the wait so i did it and had no pain completions did like sugar after the sleeve and loved it before so go in with the right frame of mined and all will be okay wish i done it sooner