I came across an old picture of myself which was taken at a time when I tried to avoid being photographed! I was at my highest weight ever, close to 280 pounds! (I weighed 258 pounds at the time of surgery)... Seeing the "girl" in the pic made me so sad! I had no self esteem. I was totally disconnected with myself! Totally shut off my feelings, my needs, my wants... just didn't really feel like anything about "me" was worthy of being validated. Was just existing, going through the motions, so to speak! I would make sure my children always looked perfect, so people would see them and maybe not notice me. What made me sad when I looked at the pic is the fact that I felt like less of a person because of my weight, the fact that I spent so many years feeling that way, and the scary reality that without this surgery, I might have continued to live that way for the rest of my life! I missed out on so many experiences because I chose to hide, and worry about what others thought instead of living the one life that I was blessed with! This surgery has given me my life back! My children now have a Mommy that is in the water splashing around with them, or kicking the ball at the park, and going down the slide with my little guy! I'm no longer on the sidelines watching them live life because I am too out of shape and self conscious!... Thank God that I am able to be the Mom that they deserve to have, and Thank God that I am beginning to live the life that I deserve to have! It's a indescribable feeling and experience!... For those of you reading this that are still debating about whether or not to take this leap and have the surgery... You are worth it! You deserve to be happy and healthy and live life to the fullest! You only live once! Make it count! Best Wishes! Thanks for listening! <3
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