I posted this somewhere else, too. I read on this forum that the quick weight loss we experience releases hormones into our blood that makes us angry, irritable and short tempered sometimes. I started noticing it in myself recently. Not very nice. Maybe that's why some posts between forum members get a bit testy. But like GI Joe said, "Knowing is half the battle."
"Lee, by "own it!" your daughter means that you should be proud of your accomplishment and understand that you deserve this. Not because you have to pay it forward or backward to justify your own benefits. She means that this is YOUR accomplishment, and accomplishing that for yourself is enough. You do not have to fix everybody. And you do not owe anyone for the benefits you have earned. They are YOURS!" Ann2
I 100% agree and think this is very important so thanks for posting it. In real life, if someone told me that I hurt their feelings, I would apologize and say I did not mean it the way they took it. There seems to be a lack of that (what I call courtesy) on here lately. I would love to see it return.
Oh My!
Why do we as members of this forum keep hurting each other. This isn't the first time something like this has happened on this forum. I absolutely do not like confrontation and would feel awful if I were to knowingly hurt someone else.
We are all facing some real challenges in our lives and this should be a safe place to go and say what we feel without having to worry that we will find anger and distress.
So many of us do not have a support group outside of this forum, and even when we do, it is so helpful to hear from others who are facing similar trials and celebrating the joys of our new lives.
When we run across hateful things like the words being said, the comfort feeling of our support group is gone; not only for those who are being attacked but for those of us who are feeling the stress of seeing it happen. It hurts my heart to hear the words being said and I am not brave enough to get involved most of the time. I worry if I may be the next person attacked. I don't know if I would have the courage to even stay once I was attacked - I would just quietly leave. THAT is not what we want each other to do is it?
Can't we please let this all go - and become supportive to each other again? Maybe we should remember what my Mother used to say when I fought with my siblings "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all!"
You are so right Kathy and you sound like such a vey sweet person. I am finding out that there are lots of people like you on here and I am very thankfull as I have no family support and my only daughter cant even be her with me through this cause she lives in a different state but I have God and my loving boyfriend and now this site to help me through. Congrats on your big weight loss! It looks like you are doing so awesome!
Whoa just catching up on some reading and I gotta chime in here. I'm sure this post will be replied to with a bunch of name calling and saying I am nothing but a mean old bitch so .... oh well... Anyone that has read my posts knows I am a tell it like it is person. Don't like the reply then don't ask the question. BUT with that said, yes this is a support of sorts and yes we usually are encouraging HOWEVER when I went off on a couple of people a year ago or so it was due to posts by them being as follows:
"Oh I am two weeks out and I just ate some steak and now I am sick amd I got really bad sharp pains in my stomach BUT I kept eating after I got over the sharp pains and now I am sick, I think my sleeve is broken" REALLY?????????????? C'mon people use some fng common sense here. What killed me was no one called her out on being irresponsible on her own health. They all poopoohed her and more or less said oh poor baby sorry you don't feel well. Are you KIDDING me here? Someone else then called me out for being a bitch (as if I care, trust me I don't) Someone also stated that I had "binged" on refried beans a week after surgery - not true - I posted that I had EATEN refried beans and the difference was that I was stating a fact of what I had been able to eat and no where did I whine or want sympathy. I didn't need sympathy because I felt just fine.
The BEST advice I ever got was from a local lady that I had met out here who had the surgery 9 months before I did and I called her one nite nearly in tears cause my heartburn hurt so bad. Know what she said? She said SUCK IT UP! You just had major surgery. From that point on I got over any negativity that I might have been feeling over having the surgery.
Yes I will and can sympathize with people and encourage BUT if the people keep posting that they did this or that and it harmed them and then they try and say the sleeve wasn't done properly and then blast people who tell them to do other things more healthy and make all kinds of excuses for themselves and still remain negative then ok well sorry - no sympathy there. What poster was it that was a nurse or something that was 10 DAYS out and said the sleeve was a waste of time and money? That one killed me - then she got all pissed due to people calling her out on her negativity AFTER many people did sympathize with her and she didn't want to hear the encouragement that it would all get better and she went on the attack saying people were just mean to her. Um no darlin, you stated some things and we all tried to tell you to hang in there and you slapped all of us in the face with more insults and told us we were all idiots and didn't know what we were talking about. In spite of some of us being a year or two out and very successful with this surgery. She didn't want to hear the truth, she just wanted sympathy and when given a part of it along with a dose of reality and she didn't like the dose of reality. I kind of equate this place to Facebook at times, you know we all know people who post every intimate detail of their lives because they don't have much else going on. I don't post every intimate detail or thought - I have friends to talk to when I need to but even then that's rare since I handle my own life, failures and successes alike, on my own terms and don't look to the outside for validation.
I rarely come out here to read anymore - some people take this place way too seriously, this ISN'T real life people, this is the internet where people can be anyone they want and say anything they want. It's up to US as to how we perceive things.
I also remember a group on Facebook for Jerusalem people and there was a gal there who had the sleeve a year prior and was taking her 14 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER for the surgery too. WHAT???? That's utterly ridiculous and a totally irresponsible parent as well. In that case the 14 year old was still able to get up and go outside and play instead of sitting in front of the TV and Xbox stuffing their faces with snacks and chips and ice cream - who buys all of that junk? Yep the mother does. Who's responsible for the meal preparation? The mother was. See where I am going? I think, and I told her flat out that having a 14 year old have the surgery without even trying to help her lose the weight and live a healthier lifestyle that was totally and utterly Bullshit! And at 14 they haven't yet gained enough maturity to know why they overeat - chances are by the time she was 20 she would end up being obese again. 14 is a child and as such they still have time to relearn bad habits and turn them around. My youngest granddaughter did just that at almost the same age when she came home from summer with her dad and staying indoors all of the time instead of being active as she was at her moms house.
Whoa! That is one of the shittiest things I have ever read on this site and I've been here almost two years. No one, and I mean NO ONE, EVER attacks someone's appearance on this site.
I really don't give a shit what went down between whomever, but you owe Deb (and in fact, the whole damn site) an enormous apology for that comment.
There is NO JUSTIFICATION for an attack like that. None!
Not going to happen, if anyone has any sense of perception it is rather obvious that I am referring to the extremely stern look on her face, obviously has nothing to do with her body or anything else because in the pic that is all you see is her stern look and it fits with her stern way of interjecting herself into this post string which had nothing to do with her in the first place! Who posts such an unfriendly pic like that for their profile pic? I just felt that it fits with the personality that I have seen from her and I will not apologize for that.
Cmon JESUS this is the INTERNET for christs sake, not real life. If you don't like the way someone "speaks" here then um don't read their posts. To attack anyone's looks is just what most of us have had done to us for being fat is it not? The person remarking on the profile picture doesn't even have one. If someone can tell someone else's "personality" on the internet then... um ok... whatever.
" Originally Posted by amella50:
Deb your personality fits your picture so incredibly perfectly."
DISGUSTING. Just disgusting that a grown woman would stoop to this level. Amella50, you can lose weight with a sleeve, but not so sure how you're going to lose the disgusting attitude.
Dyberrah, You'll never get an apology for that comment, so on behalf of Amella50, I am so sorry for her attitude. You bring so much to this site...
Enough of all the shit talkers, SERIOUSLY!
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