To Tell Or Not To Tell? That Is The Question!!

[DebDeb]

Hi All,
I'm going for it! I'm having my sleeve in July! Here in the UK, Gastric Sleeves are relatively new and unless through personal experience, most people know nothing about them. Gastric Banding is known about here but people have 'interesting' opinions on the subject (it's almost as if having gastric surgery is classed as CHEATING and one should be able to lose weight by diet and exercise.) I know I'm doing the right thing (having yo-yo dieted hard for the whole of my adult life!) and want to avoid 'well-meaning people' trying to talk me out of it. On the other hand, I'm a rubbish liar and don't fancy the idea of keeping 'a big secret' for the rest of my life (too stressful!) My partner and parents know about it and are fully behind me. So should I be open about it (and accept that a lot of people will be negative about it) or should I keep it a secret??? All advice very gratefully received.

[sociologist]

I told everyone but Im really open like that. It really isnt anyone elses business. Some people do believe getting sleeved is cheating in some way. I "dieted" myself up to 219#! It truly is something only you can decide. Best of luck:-)

[natex14]

Congratulations on making this decision. There are lots of interesting opinions about this on here, from lying to being as honest as possible. I don't like to lie, so I tell people if they ask. I haven't lost a huge amount, so most people just think I have gone on a diet and don't bother to ask me how.

Regardless, you are making this decision for you, and all that matters is that you are ok with it. I would encourage you to be honest, just because I have and it's been fine. A few people have said negative things, but I tell them it's the right decision for me.

As for the easy way out; it's not for sure. For the rest of your life you won't be able to pig out, and that is something most of us enjoyed. It's not a fix, it's a tool, and you will have to work hard with this tool to be a success. It will require lots of change on your part, so it's not the easy way out, but it's the most successful way to lose weight.

Good luck on your journey.

[ximmia]

It's a totally personal decision, and there is absolutely no right or wrong answer. For me I told everyone for two reasons. I was proud of my decision to have my surgery and wasn't going to tell a half truth when I started losing the weight. Now people at work stop me every day to comment or ask questions. That's the other reason I did it. In the past I would lose weight until the point where people would notice and I would experience some kind of deep shame and start eating again. This way it's all out in the open.

[Lavender]

Keep stum..

[toutdesuite]

Many of my coworkers are negative about WLS -- I've heard their not so kind words about coworkers who have had gastric bypass surgery -- so if they ask what I'm doing and I don't yet want to tell them, I simply say, "a lot of things", which is true because I lost the first 15 on my own, the next 15 on the pre-op diet, and the remaining 25 post-op. After I said a lot of things, one coworker asked if I was on any one specific diet and I responded truthfully -- low carb (my bariatric nutritionist's protocol). I have told a few coworkers who understand the struggle of yo yo dieting. Perhaps one day I will tell my nosy negative coworkers, but for now, I want a negative-free recovery.

As for family and friends, I've told most of them. I'm not broadcasting it, so you won't see me posting before and after photos on Facebook, but my closest friends and family all know.

[Northerner]

Hi,
I am from the UK and had surgery on 22nd April. I made the decision not to tell people, I had a band 5 years ago and only told close friends and family and they knew I had it removed last year.

This time I decided not to tell anybody apart from my daughter, it's just easier that way for me. I just say I am on a crazy diet and am drinking protein shakes (during the liquid phase) I will then say I am sticking to smaller portions.

It's a total personal choice.

Jess
Xx

[maddy1957]

Hi I'm also from the UK. I have told people that are close to me such as family and friends. If other people ask how I've lost the weight I just say by eating healthy and eating less.

[DebDeb]

Any specific reason why Jane?

[jessiejess]

I don't tell anyone. I'd prefer to keep my business quiet so nobody can gossip about me not really working hard to get tye weight off. We bust our asses to lose our weight and people don't get that. So, I chose not to tell anyone except immediate family and only 3 trusted friends.

[HJS]

I don't tell anyone, I know what they will say "well no wonder she lost weight" "yeah she can lose it because its easy now". Until they have walked in our shoes they have no idea how hard it is. There have been times I wanted to give up and just say forget all this and start eating again but I know I haven't come this far to give up and the feeling we all have received when we can finally walk up stairs or see bones we haven't seen or never have seen. We actually have our life back and it feels so Great. I think its up to everyone if they want to tell or not, I'm not here to judge.

[thenewmetoday]

2 years post sleeve and maybe two people know. When asked I just say portions, which is the truth. A few times if I felt the person needed real help I mentioned the sleeve as a point of interest. If they were open to the topic I shared that I had it done and answered questions, but never with anyone too close. What can I say, I come from a background where it was not safe to share too much and guess that still affects how I do things. Be true to self. Cheers.

[Skibabe]

I'm also from the UK, though live in NZ now :-) I only told two people pre-op, my husband and one of my SILs. My husband because obviously it was going to impact his life too, and my SIL because she's a real honey and never judgemental. Also because my initial consults took all day and I needed her to babysit my youngest daughter!

I'm a week post-op and have finally told my parents and sister in the UK. My parents were hugely supportive which actually surprised me. I thought they'd freak out but they were thrilled I was doing something so positive about my weight :-) not heard from my sis yet. I'm wary of telling the rest of my in laws as some of them are very judgemental, have fixed ideas and wouldn't have a clue what a gastric sleeve is. I just don't need any crap at the moment, my life is full learning how to adjust to my new sleeve, and look after my kids :-)

I think it totally depends on the people around you. It's quite a divisive subject and once it's out there, you can't take it back. You can always tell them later if you want to. You should also mention the portion control and exercise you'll be taking. It's not liposuction but I sometimes think people think it is! It takes just as much commitment as doing it without the sleeve, the sleeve just helps us not to fall off the wagon...not very far, anyway!

Good luck on your sleeve journey :-)

[rhill2901]

Being overweight and obese is a disease. It makes no sense to say getting a procedure to fix this disease is cheating. I don't tell anybody my personal business unless I choose to. Very very few people know I have the procedure. If they find out, I don't care. They can think what they want. But I'll tell you, most accept it more readily AFTER you lost the weight, instead of BEFORE. Fact....

[dyberrah]

I too am quite open and I was so excited and proud of my decision that I told anyone who asked. My workplace is very close-knit and friendly. My family is completely supportive - they have witnessed my life-long weight struggle. I have not yet been asked why I took the easy way out, but I've got my answer fully prepared for the first poor schmuck who dares to go there, LOL