Not even sleeved and already over the judgement and negativity

[LivingTheSleevedLife]

I was wondering how many people experienced what I have been dealing with ever since I decided to get sleeved. My surgery is in 55 days (and counting) but now I'm just so sick of everyone judging me and thinking they know more about this than I do, when in fact they are completely ignorant.

Where is the support in the decision to change my life? Where is the encouragement to get healthy? All I get are people saying to me "Why would you do this?" and "You're never gonna be able to eat anything again". I was getting in the habit of just shrugging them off, but last night pushed me over the edge. I was watching the biggest loser and said to my roommate that it is preparing me for life after my surgery to which she replied "yeah but you're cutting corners, they're not". It really got me worked up, and I felt like I had to defend myself and my decision. Us educated people know that this is not an easy way out, but why doesn't the rest of the world get that?

If people are like this before I've even gone in for the procedure what is it going to be like after? Does everyone experience this?

[sociologist]

Sadly, many folks do. Everyone know someone that knows someone who either died or the surgery didnt work. I learned to tune them out. When I would hear their horror story I would over react with oh no, I didnt know that could happen! or something like that. Now I get questions like how much have you lost? what do you weigh? and my favorite, can you eat that? or you can have one petit four it wont hurt! Ive learned to smile politely while cursing them in my head:-)

[Deejaycee76]

You're doing this for you...screw what people think. It won't be their heart attack, diabetes, sleep apnea, organ failure, etc. if you were to sit back and do nothing. So, ignore the bull shit from people, focus on what you need to do to make this work for you, and steam ahead. You cannot control other people's success or failures from wls. You are only able to control your own life. Ignore failure statistics. This really can change your life for the waaaaay better!! Best of luck to you!!! And congrats on starting your new journey

[Metread]

You don't owe anyone any explanations. Stop discussing it with them, even if they ask. If they continue, tell them that you are not comfortable discussing it with them because they are not supportive.

[ssc22880]

Ignore them. I went through this. ALOT!!! Two of my sisters (one was larger than I was n the other smaller and her husband) were so negative about it. They kept telling me I would die and I was taking the easy way out. That all I needed to do was to excersie. Which ironically was doing more of than them and having no Results. My smaller sister and her husband came over 2 days after I came home and made me cry for 2 days. Not for my decision but because this was my sister and I thought she would be there for me. We don't talk much now. We are polite and say hi. But that's it. My other sister just didn't want me to lose the weight. She thinks being big is cute. But has since supported me and tells me how good I look when she sees me. I normally don't tell people I don't know about the surgery cause of how my own family acted. My biggest fans are my coworkers. Every day they encourage me. And my boss knows 2 friends that have had the surgery. One did and continues to do great. The other lost it all and is now putting it all back on. He tells me every day he's so proud of me for sticking with it and changing my life.

I feel if these people had my health they might change their minds but. I don't care what they think anymore cause I'm gonna be the one to have the last laugh as I enjoy my new life and all the freedoms that are coming with it!!! I'm healthy and gonna live way longer an better by having this surgery than if I had not of done it!!!

Good luck to you!!

[Carissa Ellis]

Honestly, once you see your results you probably wont even care what they think anymore. And you shouldn't care now. You have to make the best decision for your own health reasons. You know this is not going to be easy. They have no idea what it is to need to lose an amount of weight equivalent to another person. Unfortunately, you can't fix stupid!

[tinoch]

I am sorry that you are experiencing such negativity!!! Pre-op I only told a select few people (not even my family) because it was a very awkward conversation to have.
Me: hey guess what? I am having bariatric surgery to lose weight
them: aaaaa, ohhh aaaahhhh why are you doing that? You aren't that fat, I mean, you aren't very ummm, big I mean, heavy, I mean.....

After one conversation like that, I stopped telling anyone. After the surgery and I started losing weight, then it was a much easier conversation.

And you really need to remember that you are NOT cutting corners or taking the easy way out or cheating. This surgery only keeps you from overeating at that single meal, not from eating the wrong things or eating desserts.

This really is just a tool and not the key.

Good Luck and tell your roommate to go_______________________(fill in the blank).


And

[Bombshell2Be]

You're doing this for you...screw what people think. It won't be their heart attack, diabetes, sleep apnea, organ failure, etc. if you were to sit back and do nothing. So, ignore the bull shit from people, focus on what you need to do to make this work for you, and steam ahead. You cannot control other people's success or failures from wls. You are only able to control your own life. Ignore failure statistics. This really can change your life for the waaaaay better!! Best of luck to you!!! And congrats on starting your new journey

Exactly what he said!!

[LivingTheSleevedLife]

Thanks everyone, it's just so frustrating to have to justify it when these are the people that have seen me struggling with my weight my entire life.

Just disappointed in the lack of support I guess. At least we have each other

[Denise*661]

I was wondering how many people experienced what I have been dealing with ever since I decided to get sleeved. My surgery is in 55 days (and counting) but now I'm just so sick of everyone judging me and thinking they know more about this than I do, when in fact they are completely ignorant.

Where is the support in the decision to change my life? Where is the encouragement to get healthy? All I get are people saying to me "Why would you do this?" and "You're never gonna be able to eat anything again". I was getting in the habit of just shrugging them off, but last night pushed me over the edge. I was watching the biggest loser and said to my roommate that it is preparing me for life after my surgery to which she replied "yeah but you're cutting corners, they're not". It really got me worked up, and I felt like I had to defend myself and my decision. Us educated people know that this is not an easy way out, but why doesn't the rest of the world get that?

If people are like this before I've even gone in for the procedure what is it going to be like after? Does everyone experience this?

That's why I only told about 5 people in my family and even tho I still got the don't do it shit.
It's your health your body. You do what you want. Your doing this to get healthy.
Any questions girl pm I'm here when ever you want to talk to someone

[Lee6Lee]

That's why I kept it a secret.

[MELR]

Personally, I have not and will not keep mine a secret but I totally understand why people do and that is the right choice for them.

Having said that, shut them down. You just cannot engage people when it comes to this. Just say, "I'm making the best decision for my health but thank you for your concern." Make sure you phrase it in such a way that it lets them know it is not open for discussion. Some people are not going to approve or understand no matter what. For the most part, people are speaking out of fear and just plain ole ignorance.

[Aquajog]

I did not want many people to know .. My decision..I told a few trusted people. One was not so trusted.. Told several and the rumor mill spread...
So now most know.. Some supportive , some a thousand questions.. Questions are easier than the negatives. The negatives I just ignore and have already said "well ' it is nobody 's Dxxxx business but mine Thank you.
I made this decision for my health.. My husband took me for all my appointments .. And I thought after all these years I knew him. BUT I never knew until after surgery how frightened he was . He did discuss it with the kids but told them not to let me know . He felt that I knew what I was doing .
He never had made a negative comment about my weight but has made some possitive comments since losing.
Do what you need to do for you.. It is your body , your health...Your choice !!!!
Good luck on your journey!

[dyberrah]

The narrow-minded and the ignorant are everywhere. They are loud, they think they know everything, and they have an opinion (the correct opinion) on all topics.

Eff 'em.

I would probably ask them:

"Where did you research to find that bariatric surgery is 'the easy way out,' because I would like to review that research myself. After all, I want to have ALL of the information. As of right now, all of my research suggests I am embarking upon a long, difficult journey that starts with the removal of 80% of one of my critical organs and then requires a lifetime of adjusted eating and exercise habits... So, your information source - was it a medical website or a published journal?"

That should shut them up.

[tracke38]

I know how people can be, which is why I only told my Sister, and a few people at work. I was confident in my decision, and did not need ANY ADDITIONAL approval regarding MY choices about MY health. This site is the best, because you have support of like minded people who are willing to share their experiences, answer questions, offer a pat on the back (or a kick in the butt if needed ). People that don't get "it" , don't know any better. Keep your head up, and stop discussing your choice with negative people. Warm hugs, and best wishes.