Not even sleeved and already over the judgement and negativity

[florabug]

Yeah.. I heard it too. My father was totally against it, I almost cancelled my surgery. And those people who say that you took the "easy way out".... They are just JEALOUS! IMO... forget em!

[Shanbie]

Educate your roommate that this is a tool, and you still have to go on a diet AND exercise like the people on Biggest losers, and that it takes more courage to have serious surgery than to exhaust yourself with exercise like they do.

[LivingTheSleevedLife]

Yeah I had only told a few people who I thought would be supportive - boy was I wrong!

I know they don't understand - they've never had to worry about being obese, or gone through the physical and mental struggles that come along with it. Everyday something else goes on my body becuase i'm carrying around so much on my joints. I just thought they would see that its going to give me a life to live for.

Anyway, thank you all for your reassurance - I can't wait for my new life to begin!

[sweetnichole44]

For me my mother and 3 sisters are all very supportive bacause they have seen me struggle with wt my whole life. I decided to get sleeved when my mom looked at me and said "you should do becasue we want to around a while" that got to me because it made me realize how worried my family was about my health and the fact I am a single mother of a 6yr old. The biggest problem I'm having is with my boyfriend. He has said the same things your hearing and it's pretty discouraging. He said I'm taking the easy way out and that I'll be skinny but not healthy. Also he's worried he and the rest of our family (his two VERY over weight teenage boys) will not be able to adjust to my new lifestyle. Just so negative and not supportive at all. I'm trying my best to educate him so he understands what being sleeved is all about but at some point if the the people you love don't support you then maybe they don't deserve your love?? I know it's hard. Hang in there!!

[bella leblanc]

Gleek I have experianced similar situations. My health kick son told me that I should work out with him and not cheat, I have been told by my co workers you already look good, my sister is scared (she needs one), and my husband is getting insecure. My health is more important to me, I have a God that has me covered and I will look better for my own security. I love them all but this is my life changing decision. Pray about it.

[RRT]

This is my answer:

[Bella_]

This is my answer:

love love love!

[lyrical2520]

I started this with the intent of telling as few people as possible. As I learned of the many benefits, I thought that if anything, I should tell everyone in hopes of maybe encouraging someone else to take this step toward better health. Yep, I have naysayers but I have a response to them that usually shuts them up. I say something similar to this...

If there were a surgery for smokers, a "shortcut" that helped them quit and provided them with a myriad of health benefits, nobody would think less of them for going through with it. Nobody would say that it's the "easy way out." They would encourage the smoker to do whatever they needed to do in order to quit and improve/extend their lives. This surgery does exactly that for me. I helps me to extend and improve my life. If you think less of me for it, than that's fine because my health means far more to me than your opinion
does.

90% of the time that shuts them up.

[Kletha]

I started this with the intent of telling as few people as possible. As I learned of the many benefits, I thought that if anything, I should tell everyone in hopes of maybe encouraging someone else to take this step toward better health. Yep, I have naysayers but I have a response to them that usually shuts them up. I say something similar to this...

If there were a surgery for smokers, a "shortcut" that helped them quit and provided them with a myriad of health benefits, nobody would think less of them for going through with it. Nobody would say that it's the "easy way out." They would encourage the smoker to do whatever they needed to do in order to quit and improve/extend their lives. This surgery does exactly that for me. I helps me to extend and improve my life. If you think less of me for it, than that's fine because my health means far more to me than your opinion
does.

90% of the time that shuts them up.

I like this example and hope you don't mind if I steal it!

[lyrical2520]

Please do use it Kletha! The only way that the stigma of this surgery is going to go away is if we proudly stand behind our choice and not be embarrassed or belittled for making it.

[Skibabe]

I was wondering how many people experienced what I have been dealing with ever since I decided to get sleeved. My surgery is in 55 days (and counting) but now I'm just so sick of everyone judging me and thinking they know more about this than I do, when in fact they are completely ignorant.

Where is the support in the decision to change my life? Where is the encouragement to get healthy? All I get are people saying to me "Why would you do this?" and "You're never gonna be able to eat anything again". I was getting in the habit of just shrugging them off, but last night pushed me over the edge. I was watching the biggest loser and said to my roommate that it is preparing me for life after my surgery to which she replied "yeah but you're cutting corners, they're not". It really got me worked up, and I felt like I had to defend myself and my decision. Us educated people know that this is not an easy way out, but why doesn't the rest of the world get that?

If people are like this before I've even gone in for the procedure what is it going to be like after? Does everyone experience this?

The support is right here on this forum :-) I obviously discussed it with my husband, who was wholly supportive. And I told one of my sisters in law as I needed her help babysitting my youngest for my initial meetings. She's a total honey and has also been totally supportive. I only told my parents (who live the other side of the world from me) this morning, 6 days post-op, as they've both had health issues recently and didn't want to give them more to worry about. Amazingly, they weren't freaked out at all but wholly supportive that I'm tackling my weight issue proactively.

Unfortunately, once you've told someone, you can't take it back. It's like pregnancy or parenting - everyone has an opinion. Fact is, diets simply don't work when you need to lose a lot. Our pre-frontal cortex (in the brain) is larger for us than "normal size" people. It's the part of the brain that seeks pleasure, and we seek it through food, alcohol, etc (I had a long, informative chat with my surgeon about this!). Thing is, the surgery changes something in the brain and doesn't make most of us want that food anymore, so it's much easier to eat healthily and not feel deprived, unlike on a diet. You also don't feel hungry, which really helps!

Hang in there, we're all behind you and believe in you! My tastes are already changing, I don't crave any bad foods and the weight is falling off me already. Best of luck on your journey. You're doing the right thing for you, your health and your life and that is all that matters. If they're idiots, cut them out of your life as much as you can. Some people just cannot cope with us no longer being the "fat one". It's all about them, not you :-)

[Skibabe]

I started this with the intent of telling as few people as possible. As I learned of the many benefits, I thought that if anything, I should tell everyone in hopes of maybe encouraging someone else to take this step toward better health. Yep, I have naysayers but I have a response to them that usually shuts them up. I say something similar to this...

If there were a surgery for smokers, a "shortcut" that helped them quit and provided them with a myriad of health benefits, nobody would think less of them for going through with it. Nobody would say that it's the "easy way out." They would encourage the smoker to do whatever they needed to do in order to quit and improve/extend their lives. This surgery does exactly that for me. I helps me to extend and improve my life. If you think less of me for it, than that's fine because my health means far more to me than your opinion
does.

90% of the time that shuts them up.

Nicely put! :-)

[bikrchk]

I had a few in the beginning who didn't think I had enough to lose to risk it. I needed to lose 100 pounds, but it looked like 50 on me as I've always carried pretty well. But once my friends were educated, it was not a problem anymore. I've been really blessed to have the support I do which probable makes me care less for the negative opinions of others, which have been few. I guess I feel like when they've lost 100 pounds and kept it off, maybe we'll talk, until then, they will never understand the path that we walk. I did this for my health, because I didn't want to go out like my dad who ate himself to death. Literally. Morbid Obesity was the cause of death on his death certificate. What's the bigger risk? Doing it, or remaining stuck in a cycle of losing 60 pounds, gaining 75? Easy decision for me and the best one I've ever made for my health!

[cmp]

Those who think this is the easy way out are NUTS but with that said we did what we did for health reasons and because we want a life of being able to have energy and keep up with our children NOT to look like super models. Myself for example am off 3 different meds I was on and feel better than I have in years. The hard part for me is I own a restaurant and everyone wants to know what I have done or my favorite is (where is the rest of you) some people I tell and some I don't but at the end of the day I DID THIS FOR ME......... Congratulations to everyone who uses this wonderful tool we have been given for a better life.

[ally12867]

A very good friend and co-worker had the surgery last year. She decided to tell people at work she was having the surgery, they were supportive but she was alot larger than me. I decided to do it to regain my life back and be healthy, but because I don't want to hear any negativity, I am not sharing this with anyone outside of my mother, sister, and very very close friends, who understand and are very supportive. I feel it is a need to know and they don't need to know... I will tell my best friend after I have it done. Good luck.