Hi, my name is Jodi and this is my first post to this board. I am at the beginning of my sleeve journey. I am 43 and 5'4", and my weight at my first doctor's appointment was 337.
I have always been fat except for a brief period in my teens when I starved myself into a size 6. After gaining back all the weight I lost and more, and repeating that over and over again, I decided in my twenties to accept myself as I was at a size 28.
My weight stabilized so that I was a size 32-34 for almost twenty years. I didn't diet, I didn't weigh myself, and I was pretty healthy and happy. However, in my late thirties I started developing health problems. I developed diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and sleep apnea. Then I fell down the steps and tore my meniscus in each knee. They found I had bad arthritis in both my knees, which continued to worsen despite surgery to correct the torn menisci. Nothing worked for the arthritis, not medication,not injections, and not surgery. My world was growing smaller as I could not walk very far and doing anything became miserable. Finally my orthopedist told me that I needed to see a surgeon about knee replacement surgery. The surgeon told me that I needed total knee replacement, but that no reputable surgeon would perform it on me at my weight. He suggested weight loss surgery.
I had always been very suspicious of weight loss surgery, and though it had of course been suggested to me before, I never saw it as an option for myself. However, the knee problems and facing a life of horrible pain and/or becoming wheelchair bound was not what I wanted for myself. So, anyway, I decided after much consideration that I would try to have the sleeve.
I am committed to this for myself, but I don't want to abandon my core belief that all people are equally worthy of respect and good treatment regardless of their size, and my feeling that just because WLS exists, doesn't mean it is the best choice for everyone. I never expect to become thin even after this surgery. Somehow that doesn't feel right for me personally. I just want to get down to a weight where I can have my knees replaced and hopefully get rid of my comorbidities.
I am wondering if I am the only person here coming from a background in the size acceptance community. I feel a lot of social pressure from my friends against having this surgery, and I do fear that I will lose their friendship as a result of this decision, and that they will feel that I have betrayed the size acceptance cause. I know I need to do what is right for me and not worry about other people, but it is still hard. I would love to talk to anyone else who has dealt with this.
Anyway, I have had my first meeting with my surgeon and am now going to all the doctor's appointments that are required. So far, I have done the psychiatrist and the gastroenterologist. Dietician and PCP coming up this week, then pulmonologist and dietician again the next week.
I vacillate between being excited and being terrified. This group has been a big help to me in making my decision, so thanks!
--jodi
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