Support Group for spouses of those who have had weight loss surgery

[amykarryn]

I just wanted to share with you that I just created a support group for spouses, partners and significant others of those who have had weight loss surgery. Relationships go through many changes, and especially so when weight loss surgery is in the mix. There are a ton of support groups out there for those who have had weight loss surgery, but I haven't come across a group for the spouses and/or partners. Hopefully this can be a forum for you all to share your thoughts and feelings. The name of the group is Support for Spouses/Weight Loss Surgery. This group was just created and I'm trying to get it off the ground so please be patient :-) Please invite your spouses, partners and significant others to this group. As much as we need support, spouses do to. I've been sleeved for 14 months and have lost 110 pounds and it has had a huge effect on my marriage, both good and bad. I appreciate your time and hope you'll invite those in your life to join the group!

[Louise63]

Where do I find the group to join?

[Lee6Lee]

How could WLS affect in a bad way?

[christine53]

Why do they need support? Just asking

[amykarryn]

Christine, not sure if you sleeved yet or not, or if you have a partner in life, but there are so many changes that happen to a person who is sleeved, and these changes are sure to affect whomever the person is with. Everything to how eating habits change in the home, to the person spending more time on themsleves, like going to the gym, maybe counseling, support groups...all of the psychological changes about a person feels about their body...all of this affects a spouse or significant other. I know in my own marriage things have been very difficult. sometimes it's hard for a spouse to accept their changing partner for many different reasons. My husband gets very jealous when i get attention from others. Also, if your relationship is rocky, surgery will not improve it. There are so many facets to the process, and how it affects the people you live with is huge.

[Louise63]

You have no idea how things can change. My husband has changed so much since my surgery. He is over the top jealous to the point that he is pushing me away. He has no reason at all to be jealous or nor does ha have any reason to not trust me. I do nothing but go to work and come home. At work he was calling me almost hourly just to check up on me sometimes driving by to make sure I am there. He never did this before and we have been married for over 30 years. Then to top it off he is telling me that I have to wear pantyhose or knee highs everyday because he likes them. I haven't worn that crap in years I HATE THEM. But he is trying to control me it is really bad at times. I just had a breakdown a week ago. If this keeps up I don't know what I will do. Finally I feel good about myself and feel so much healthier but with the way he is acting it makes me regret having the sleeve but I can't let him keep treating me this way.

[christine53]

You regret taking care of your self because you have a husband that has a control problem? I work with abused women and one of the biggest things I hear is control issues. Your husband needs help and if he doesn't get it, you do. Please you are moving forward and he is stuck. If he loves you he will, if he loves the control he will not. It's that simple.

[amykarryn]

Louise, so sorry you are dealing with this :-( hopefully together you can work things out - I don't know your situation, but have you talked to him about how you are feeling?

[Karen G]

You need support if your spouse becomes very jealous and it happens. We've been together for over 20 yesrs. After the sleeve in one year I lost 170 pds. He was jealous but then I had a lower body contour, he just couldn't take it. Were not together anymore. We do have a 10 year old. But it does happen. I love my new life, and my life changed. He wanted to stay the same, which I just couldn't do that. Not cheat but I like to do my hair, makeup and dress nice. He couldn't handle it.

[imsexy1386]

I just wanted to share with you that I just created a support group for spouses, partners and significant others of those who have had weight loss surgery. Relationships go through many changes, and especially so when weight loss surgery is in the mix. There are a ton of support groups out there for those who have had weight loss surgery, but I haven't come across a group for the spouses and/or partners. Hopefully this can be a forum for you all to share your thoughts and feelings. The name of the group is Support for Spouses/Weight Loss Surgery. This group was just created and I'm trying to get it off the ground so please be patient :-) Please invite your spouses, partners and significant others to this group. As much as we need support, spouses do to. I've been sleeved for 14 months and have lost 110 pounds and it has had a huge effect on my marriage, both good and bad. I appreciate your time and hope you'll invite those in your life to join the group!

Where is this support group? How and were can I sing up? I have a lot of concerns that can happen it the future. I am very worried about how I am going to feel about saggy skin.

[Belle2]

My husband doesn't do this but, I have had friends who were more worried about not being able to go out to eat with me, than happy for my weight loss. My husband and I still go out to eat, but we usually order healthy and split the meal. I didn't do that until way down the road after surgery. My husband does need to lose weight but I don't bring the subject up much. I just talk about health. If my husband behaved like this, I'm not sure how successful I could be. You would probably benefit from counseling. If he needs to keep you fat, to keep you in his life, you need to make a decision. I'm not telling you to get up and leave. Not at all. Just be aware that his reactions will need to be a project in itself. Address it! I hope you celebrate yourself and know you are worth it. It serves no purpose to stay overweight. There is no benefit at all, except the temporary gratification we get from over indulging. Good luck.