A SpechL Gastric Sleeve Journey

[SpechL Goddess]

When I first woke up after the surgery, I was in the hospital bed already in the bariatric unit. My family was no where to be found. Luckily the Nurses were so nice because all I wanted was my mommy or daddy. The nurses asked if I was in pain (from 1 being the least to 10 being the most pain). Duh a 12. I had staples in me in all different locations, I had an IV in me and two different substances going into me: 1- vitamins/electrolytes then 2: this stuff to help with the nausea. then I was getting shots in my stomach and thighs every 4 to 6 hours....All I could think of was when is the pain meds coming??? They gave me shitty liquid low dose lortab which does nothing for me. They said that was all they could give me because other pain meds could lead to heart stopping or lungs stopping. I thought that was bullshit. They had me sleeping at a 60 degree incline so If I had to puke I wouldn't die like Jimi Hendrix by choking on it. Ice chips for two days and I had to walk around the bariatric floor. I was pretty active walking around the first day after surgery because I didn't want blood clots and a lil exercise couldn't hurt plus the nurse made me. I never want to be that size ever again. Do you know how many jobs I lost due to appearance??? And If I could prove it was due to my weight or my acne or my space between my two front teeth, I could actually have a case.

Then when the food came around they had me on a normal diet rather than a gastric sleeve diet. . . then the normal diet was changed and they put me on a by-pass diet not the same thing as a gastric sleeve diet but close.

The hospital food was a bouillon cube dropped in water, and some other crap which I didn't want to eat or drink because it was disgusting. so I ate my ice chips the whole time while I was there. At least try to make the liquids taste appealing for goodness sakes. This went on for 3 days....but before i could be released on the 3rd day, I had to do another upper GI test = nasty unless you like the thickness of cum tasting like chalk and some crappy flavor. I got over it quickly.

I made an appointment to see the doctor that performed my surgery to ask him what to do. One doctor was telling me I could take my meds that I was previously on the others were telling me they had to be crushed.I was so confused.

They give you all this info but when the post-op time comes they don't know what to tell you (i.e. how you are going to feel, what you are going to feel, such as, sharp shooting pains form the inside that once was your stomach's spot. After I was able to walk kinda normally I made an appointment. Considering how much it cost, I owned these doctors/nurses for the money I paid and I will annoy the crap out of them with questions and concerns, whenever I want to, etc.

When I was released, It got to the point where I was so pissed off for having this F'n Surgery that I went to the Doctor who performed the surgery and asked them to give me my stomach back and I wanted a reversal of the surgery. Everybody was eating normal foods in my house and in my face and telling me how good it was but I couldn't have any. I was drinking liquids..mmmmmmm chicken broth again...mmmmm vegetable broth again mmmmm (sarcasm)... Instead of beating the shit out of all of them and getting arrested, I went for a two hour walk at night around dinner time against doctor's orders. I looked like an escapee from a old person's facility hobbling in my neighbor hood.

I was so angry at my parents for talking and coercing me into getting this surgery. Yes it was beneficial to my health but now that the surgery i over they stock the foods they want and I don't have anything int he fridge that helps with my diet.....

I wanted to eat something normal so bad that I went to a local restaurant and ordered what ever the fuck I wanted...BIG MISTAKE!!!! I Went home in pain and curled up in a fetus position and wanted to die. I didn't scarf down the whole plate but my stomach wasn't healed enough to be eating those types of foods, such as broccoli rapa and chicken skinless, boneless breast grilled. I'm don't crave sweets unless I'm on my ma'i .

I am a food addict. I needed to understand that I turned to food for everything when I stopped using bad things that would help with my appetite control. Having my mom around is great but she cooks the best meals and it is hard for me to stay in the house when she cooks.

Now I am in a better place after they took my staples out and now I can sleep on my stomach and side positions. I am also in a better place mentally due to the fact that I can now workout, Polynesian dance which is spiritual and makes you fell pretty at any size, and I can do crunches etc.

It was all my mind-set and I wasn't positive and that's because I'm a product of my environment. My household was always abusive and negative even when there were positive influences in my life they could only do so much before the negativity drove them away.

So Now I am keeping it positive and trying to beat the negative influences in my life and trying for one day at a time and am careful of what I put in my body.

I apologized to the Doctors/nurses that did my surgery for my attitude. They said no problem we love you for your honesty and we are here to help 24/7. So far ...so good.

[aksonflower]

Wow what a journey! I am proud of you on so many things, you went for a walk Excellent, you started to reailze your dependence on food, that you can take control over who is in your life, if you want positivity you will get along just fine with out the others. The dr's office is willing to support you is awesome. I however feel compelled to ask your dr. why did he do surgery on a pt. that was not 100% on board? Are you attending any counseling, getting help with the attention good and bad of your new body? Family, can at times be the very rude or unsupportive, being respectfully honest is always the best policy. "When you don't support me in this decision be excessivly sarcastic that really drives a wedge between us. The choice is yours, but I will make choices that best move me forward before I listen to you. " <that was an example, because, if I was there, and hearing all the remarks, I would have no problem backhanding someone, untiil they have walked in your shoes they have NO room to talk! Good Luck

[pbjwalnut]

Congratulations and good luck.....your on the right path.....good for you to be done at a young age...I only wish I had..............keep up the good work and don't surround yourself by people who are not supporting you. You are strong and can do this!

[supersmile37]

Keep up the positive attitude. The feelings of anger etc... Are normal. My doc suggests highly that everyone who gets bariatric surgery go to therapy for a few months right after to help with the feelings of loss. Loss of stomach loss of food.... Etc... There is also OA you might want toook up meetings in your area or go to support groups ran by the local hospital.

Good luck

[Kona]

While I can understand your frustration. You don't need to be as descriptive as you where. The liquid was thick. That's all we needed.

[connie]

That is quite an experience you have shared with us----I am speechless---Cody hit it on the head, my heart goes out to you. Aksonflower pretty much covered it also---blessings to you. Change is hard for all of us, I have enough faith that you will do really well if you just hang onto this forum and do your best to follow all of the good direction given here. Blessings to you.

[Portugueselove]

Are you samoan?

[bobbybeegood]

WOW... Thank you for such an honest & thought provoking post. Please, always feel free to express yourself on this forum. We are all friends here & everybody has a bad day. Sounds like you are ready mentally to start your Weight Loss Journey for a life time. We will all look forward to your future posts & will always be here for you.

[FlowerGalTX]

Now I am in a better place after they took my staples out and now I can sleep on my stomach and side positions. I am also in a better place mentally due to the fact that I can now workout...Now I am keeping it positive and trying to beat the negative influences in my life and trying for one day at a time and am careful of what I put in my body.

I loved reading your affirmations of being in a better place. =) Keep going! This is an exciting and emotional time for you and everyone on this journey. I am glad you were comfortable enough to share. Keep up the good work.

[SpechL Goddess]

Thank you for all of your encouragement.
On another note: "KONA" I am very descriptive in my writing and if that offends you then DO NOT READ MY THREAD. I will NOT stop writing the way I write and If you have a problem with that - too bad. The 1st Amendment protects my speech. Take a look at yourself before you point fingers or start a witch hunt. Mahalo nui loa. Malama Pono.

[MediaHound]

Lets all just relax please and not attack each other, we are a big family, lets try to get along and tone it down please.

[connie]

OK folks----we are here to help one another---we all come from different backgrounds- so we all have different morals and ways of expressing ourselves. We have a common thread here---we are all members of this sleeve family---for me, my knee jerk reaction is to attack---that is not the kind of woman that I think God wants me to be, nor is it the kind of woman I want to be. FOR ME today, acceptance is the answer to all my problems---with keeping in mind that because I accept something does not always mean that I agree with it---AND I can live and let live. Blessings to each and every one of us.