Need help! I keep cheating!

[lgutenberg]

There are some really yummy Atkins goodies that you could take with you. Before surgery I had to do 5 weeks of Atkins as my pre-op diet and when we would go to friends to play cards, I would take a treat with me for myself. When the chips came out, I had my treat to eat as we'll. they really got me through not feeling deprived. Now, after surgery, I try and surround myself with foods I can eat, so it is easy to make good choices.

[JustWantToBeHealthyAgain]

I don't keep junk in my house. The problem is when I am visiting family they always have it. I don't have a problem eating well at home. I don't want to become a hermit and confine myself to this house. Maybe if I always carry healthy enjoyable foods when I leave the house I will be less likely to indulge when I'm out. This is a learning process for me. I'm still figuring things out.

This is a good idea. I also don't think it's bad at all to allow yourself to enjoy something you like a couple times a week. If you're eating fine all the rest of the time and exercising, it's not going to hurt you.

[Maranatha1969]

Hi, I have the same problem and I'm getting very discouraged. I have no problems eating anything and it scares me. I can't eat a lot but that doesn't mean I can't eat it. I had a half a slice of pizza today and for breakfast I had a slice of bacon and 1/4 pancake. I only lost about 25 lbs and my surgery was a day before yours. You are doing great because at least you're running. I barely walk. I really need to get motivated and I'm hoping you can be my motivator. I'll be watching! good luck!

[jm1952]

Good luck on your upcoming surgery. Mine is in Jan. Do you have to do a pre op diet? I have gained a little instead of loosing and am really bumming out over it. I am the worst dieter around.

[greenmomma]

Luke, who I haven't seen around here much lately, has some great blogs about dealing with this. Look him up and read his blogs. Very helpful. The essence of it is, you dont have to say "no", rather it's more of a "later".

[greenmomma]

Found the blog. http://www.gastricsleeve.com/forum/b...ad-hunger.html

[Kelli D]

You mentioned that you cheated on Thanksgiving. Consider that day and Christmas a pardon!! Life is life and you have to enjoy it......your sleeve will not allow you to go to far with the cheating so enjoy it on those 2 days. Here's the problem that goes along with that and you have to be ready to combat it. Carbs are a devil demon that draw you into to want more. In simple they are addictive and when you clear your system of them you can go on with littlle craving for them. The key is to recognize that the next few days are going to be crave crazy!! Stop eating them now. Give yourself at least 48 hours and see if it gets easier. If it does you know what your problem has been. You have to learn your body and the triggers. For me carbs are a big no no for me. They are a true addiction for me and I have to stay away from them. That doesn't mean you can't have an occasional something but you have to be ready to combat the cravings that will follow. Good luck to you!!

[Cajungirl]

I know how you feel, I went to my mom and dads for thanksgiving and they had every pie under the sun! I took a bite of my husbands and it satisfied my craving. My family was trying to get me to bring some home but I stayed strong! Go me! We can do this! Good luck.

[jennyjenny2]

Hi sleevedrn..have u told your family yet about your surgery? I know it's a personal decision but having family support is so important during this process! There will always be pressure to eat the wrong foods if no one knows what your going through. .i know how hard it is believe me my family is not easy I just bought a book called the emotional first aid kit for life after bariatric surgery and it's a great resource for getting through all the difficulty we face now! I highly recommend it

[Froo72]

Yes, yes, yes I need to buckle down and just say no. When I go to my moms there are pies, cake, and cookies and everyone just dives in. She tried to have me take some home and I said no way. That stuff needs to stay away from me as far as possible. Sometimes I just wish I lived on an island of healthy foods without ppl constantly trying to get me to take bites of junk. Yes. I just need to tell people no. It gets tough at times. This process is still new and I'm just trying to figure out what I should be consuming but I know carbs are a no no.

Hold up, when I said "just say no" I wasn't at all trying to imply that saying no is easy or that it was your only option, not to mention that wasn't the only thing I said. You seemed to be really bothered that you had cake and popcorn, I just assumed you were seeking strength, it didn't occur to me that you may have been seeking a little absolution. One piece of cake is definitely not going to kill you, neither is popcorn, nor do I believe it is "cheating" (furthermore, I hate calling it "cheating", it's called being human), and 36 pounds in 40 days is great progress, you should be proud.

You didn't initially mention your circumstances surrounding your visit to your mother's. I think refusing to take anything home is a major step in a positive direction and you should feel good about that. Food-pushers can be tough to deal with, but remember when they get insulted that you don't eat, that is their hang-up, and it's not fair to make you party to it. If you feel you have to take some in order to spare their feelings, take it home and immediately throw it away or give it to an elderly neighbor. I come from a huge family of food-pushers who alternately had a lot to say about my weight. I could never understand how people could directly or indirectly insult me an hour before they shoved desserts and dressings and bread at me, then eye my plate as though their plates were any less filled. Family, in general, can be a bitch.

Don't beat yourself up over a few goodies or expect yourself to never eat empty carbs again. Progress, not perfection (because perfection is a complete myth). You'll be doing this the rest of your life, and slipping up with a sleeve is nothing like slipping up pre-sleeve. As far as not losing, expect that you will have bouts of that, but also expect that you will start losing again, because you will.

[SleevedRN]

Hold up, when I said "just say no" I wasn't at all trying to imply that saying no is easy or that it was your only option, not to mention that wasn't the only thing I said. You seemed to be really bothered that you had cake and popcorn, I just assumed you were seeking strength, it didn't occur to me that you may have been seeking a little absolution. One piece of cake is definitely not going to kill you, neither is popcorn, nor do I believe it is "cheating" (furthermore, I hate calling it "cheating", it's called being human), and 36 pounds in 40 days is great progress, you should be proud.

You didn't initially mention your circumstances surrounding your visit to your mother's. I think refusing to take anything home is a major step in a positive direction and you should feel good about that. Food-pushers can be tough to deal with, but remember when they get insulted that you don't eat, that is their hang-up, and it's not fair to make you party to it. If you feel you have to take some in order to spare their feelings, take it home and immediately throw it away or give it to an elderly neighbor. I come from a huge family of food-pushers who alternately had a lot to say about my weight. I could never understand how people could directly or indirectly insult me an hour before they shoved desserts and dressings and bread at me, then eye my plate as though their plates were any less filled. Family, in general, can be a bitch.

Don't beat yourself up over a few goodies or expect yourself to never eat empty carbs again. Progress, not perfection (because perfection is a complete myth). You'll be doing this the rest of your life, and slipping up with a sleeve is nothing like slipping up pre-sleeve. As far as not losing, expect that you will have bouts of that, but also expect that you will start losing again, because you will.

Thank you for that. I'm concerned because I haven't lost much lately and I'm fighting to hit onederland. It's very frustrating. So if I eat bad things it just makes me feel even worse about not losing much right now, even though I'm not eating much of the bad stuff. I'm going to stick to the program, continue running, and hopefully the scale will move again. I'm frustrated and feel guilty but it'll be ok.

[ChrissyT]

When I eat a carb I eat it with a protein. So of I want crackers it's ok but I eat it with cheese or peanut butter. Half a bagel is with cream cheese. Pasta or rice is with chicken or meat. It cuts way down on the amount of carbs I can eat. Chrisdy

[niamh]

My rule is that if I'm going to eat a carb treat, I have protein first, and then that limits how much I can fit in. So, if you're going to go to your Mom's place - have a few slices of lean turkey or ham etc before you leave - or even a protein shake. The protein leaves you feeling fuller longer.

I have never planned to avoid carbs altogether, and I still eat them regularly. But I prioritise protein first.

Also - final thought. Don't use the word cheating. This is a rest of life change, not a fad diet. You're not cheating, you're just a bit out of whack with your food choices at the moment. If you use the word cheating, that word has all sorts of failure connotations which is going to leave you feeling bad about yourself - and negative emotions for most of us triggers more poor eating.

Treat this all as a learning experience. We're not going to get it right all of the time - the restriction gives us the luxury to notice and correct without it all going completely off the rails. I have eaten in ways that are less than ideal, but I am definitely gradually continuing to improve and refine my choices in the direction I want. My eating now is definitely healthier than it was about 2 months ago, because I choose to keep learning - rather than punishing myself for less than ideal habits.

Take care - don't be surprised that you fall back into previous habits, and just remain committed to mindfully noticing and making changes bit by bit.

[SleevedRN]

My rule is that if I'm going to eat a carb treat, I have protein first, and then that limits how much I can fit in. So, if you're going to go to your Mom's place - have a few slices of lean turkey or ham etc before you leave - or even a protein shake. The protein leaves you feeling fuller longer.

I have never planned to avoid carbs altogether, and I still eat them regularly. But I prioritise protein first.

Also - final thought. Don't use the word cheating. This is a rest of life change, not a fad diet. You're not cheating, you're just a bit out of whack with your food choices at the moment. If you use the word cheating, that word has all sorts of failure connotations which is going to leave you feeling bad about yourself - and negative emotions for most of us triggers more poor eating.

Treat this all as a learning experience. We're not going to get it right all of the time - the restriction gives us the luxury to notice and correct without it all going completely off the rails. I have eaten in ways that are less than ideal, but I am definitely gradually continuing to improve and refine my choices in the direction I want. My eating now is definitely healthier than it was about 2 months ago, because I choose to keep learning - rather than punishing myself for less than ideal habits.

Take care - don't be surprised that you fall back into previous habits, and just remain committed to mindfully noticing and making changes bit by bit.

Thank you for the great advice, I got back in to the swing of things today and am doing much better.

[jactkb]

I recently got the book The Emotional First+Aid Kit: A Practical Guide to Life After Bariatric Surgery. It seems good tho I'm only about 100pages in. It has some really good ideas for putting how we chose to eat in perspective.