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  1. #16
    Gastric Sleeve Member JustWantToBeHealthyAgain's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Katherine
    Surgery date
    12/16/2013
    Surgeon
    Dr. DiBenedetto
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
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    New York
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    Default Re: Husband says I'm TOO SKINNY

    My boyfriend only had one girlfriend before me and she was thin. My boyfriend didn't start dating me until I was 250 lb although when he and I met, I was about 180 (and I had lost a lot of weight because I had spent time in another country and didn't eat much/got sick). But oddly enough, it gives me hope that he dated a thin girl because that shows me that he's not just into "fat girls". Haha.

    I'm really sorry you're going through this. Indeed, it sounds like insecurity, possibly. Maybe you guys could go to counselling??



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  3. #17
    Gastric Sleeve Member christine53's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgery date
    03/15/2013
    Surgeon
    Alejandro Lopez
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    Jan 2013
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    03-01-2015 10:24 PM
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    Nc-Sc
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    Default Re: Husband says I'm TOO SKINNY

    dump his ass and get a man that loves skinny chicks, just saying



  4. #18
    Gastric Sleeve Member BladeFox's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgery date
    03/19/2014
    Surgeon
    Dr. Bradley Pierce
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Last Activity
    05-11-2020 11:36 AM
    Location
    Minneapolis, Minnesota
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    Default Re: Husband says I'm TOO SKINNY

    This is sad to hear especially when you took your vows it says for better or worse. It sounds like he has some insecurities OR because we don't know what has happened with the both of you, have you been putting too much on his shoulders? Meaning, are you throwing your weight loss in his face, or are you too high maintenance with him? I always think that it's easy for one person to share what the other is doing without know what you are doing is hard to figure this out. How tall are you? If you are 6 ft like me and now weigh 128 you may be looking a bit gaunt. If that's the case consider what he is saying. If not, then ask yourself honestly if you have a share in this new conversation he is having with you. It not, then it's him.
    Height: 6'0"
    Shape: Apple (No Hips)
    Information Session: August 14, 2013



  5. #19
    Gastric Sleeve Member Shalon's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Shalon
    Surgery date
    10/02/2013
    Surgeon
    Dr. Luis Garcia
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Last Activity
    06-11-2015 11:02 PM
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    West Fargo, ND
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    Default Re: Husband says I'm TOO SKINNY

    That's disheartening. I'd ask him what you can do (other than gain weight) to increase your attractiveness to him. If he says gain the weight, then you know he's not interested in your health or happiness truly. But maybe you've done something else to make him feel left behind and he's just using your weight because it's a soft spot for you. Have you been flirting with other guys a lot? going out without him? changing your date nights or daily activity to something he can't or won't do with you? Maybe he feels like you're leaving him behind and can't think of anything other than the weight that he can pinpoint.



  6. #20
    Gastric Sleeve Member SethP's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgery date
    05/10/2013
    Surgeon
    Dr. Donald Schwab
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Last Activity
    06-13-2016 02:14 PM
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    Hondo, TX
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    Default Re: Husband says I'm TOO SKINNY

    WOW. She is looking for support and what she is getting is a lot of Male bashing. It sounds to me like there is a lot of hidden angers with alot of you. I am sorry for you that he tells you that you are too skinny. I get some of that from my current wife who is only 92lbs. I would have thought she would be happy that I was no longer 340lbs. She keeps telling me that "fluffy" is sexy. It is hard to say what was the physical attraction for you and your husband. We really do not know the whole situation here either. I do want to offer my sympathy to you. You have started this journey to become healthier and I encourage you to finish the race. There is going to bo obstacles along the way that we all will have to over come. Being to skinny is not one that I think I will have to face. Could it be that along the way to a healthier you that you have changed? Are you more active now then before? You could be more out-going then before and that scares him? It could be that it is the NEW and different lifestyle that has him shook up and not as much the NEW you.

    The one thing I will say having been divorced before that it is not always the answer. I will not say to drop him and move on. I will say that you have noticed something is wrong and that it needs to be addressed. Do not wait. If you still love him then you and him need to seek out some sound counsel. Either from a marriage professional or from your spiritual leader. Try to take a good look at yourself and relationship to see IF anything else has changed other then your weight loss. I know for myself since I have dropped the 50lbs that I have become more active. I am trying to find activities that she can also be active in with me, instead of me going out alone and doing new things. I have changed and I need to make sure that it doesnt affect my relationship in a negative manner. Godspeed on your Journey
    LIFE is NOT a Spectator SPORT!!


    Highest weight ----343 lbs 2008
    First Consult weight--288 lbs 3/10/13
    Surgical weight ---266 lbs 5/10/13
    Lowest adult weight 237 lbs 12/03/13

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  8. #21
    Gastric Sleeve Member Lemmy's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Lemmy
    Surgery date
    08/10/2012
    Surgeon
    Dr. Feiz
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Last Activity
    12-04-2013 12:12 AM
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    Southern California
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    Default Re: Husband says I'm TOO SKINNY

    Thank you all for your wonderful words. Last night when I posted this thread I also researched divorce. I was so upset and felt that maybe the only way would be to leave. How could I expect him to be in a relationship with someone he doesn't find desirable? On the same token was I willing to stay in a relationship like this? I'm sure at some point he would initiate but did I want to have petty sex, or only to sooth his needs when he needed it? Today I have gotten some clarity and perspective. I understand that my decision to lose weight was mine and people around me have to get used to the new me. Not that I have changed but I am happier, more comfortable in my own skin and with higher self esteem. Wait a minute, I guess I have changed, lol. I get that he might be feeling insecure and maybe he's pushing me away. What ever the case may be I need him to know that I love him and I'm not going anywhere. He's the love of my life, my high school sweetheart, the father of my children, my soul mate. He's been here for me and I'm will help him thru this. This marriage thing just never gets easier does it? Thank you all again! You helped more than you can imagine. When he gets home I will seduce him and then after we will have a nice chat. Lol



  9. #22
    Gastric Sleeve Member BladeFox's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgery date
    03/19/2014
    Surgeon
    Dr. Bradley Pierce
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Last Activity
    05-11-2020 11:36 AM
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    Minneapolis, Minnesota
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    Default Re: Husband says I'm TOO SKINNY

    Aaaah. seduction~
    Height: 6'0"
    Shape: Apple (No Hips)
    Information Session: August 14, 2013



  10. #23
    Gastric Sleeve Member paradoxgal's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgery date
    10/24/2013
    Surgeon
    Dr. Elias Ortiz
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
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    05-10-2019 12:10 PM
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    Default Re: Husband says I'm TOO SKINNY

    I'm very happy to hear your positive attitude. I love it! I hope you can work through it all.



  11. #24
    Gastric Sleeve Member
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    Default Re: Husband says I'm TOO SKINNY

    I have never understood when someone in a couple blames the other partner for his weight. I think is the first sign that something wrong is in the air. It should be well-noted that weight had nothing to do with feelings. Unless you were dating on a dating site https://fetlife.top/best-kinkster-tutorial, and your online partner deceived you completely about his appearance.

  12. #25
    Gastric Sleeve Member Jessica King's Avatar
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    Default Re: Husband says I'm TOO SKINNY

    I agree that the main thing is how you feel toyself in this weight

  13. #26
    Gastric Sleeve Member
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    Default Re: Husband says I'm TOO SKINNY

    Oh man, I can imagine how tough that must be. It's like a double-edged sword, right? You work so hard to feel good about yourself and then bam, your partner's comments hit you like a ton of bricks. It's like, what gives? Been there myself. Communication is key here. Let him know how his words are making you feel. Maybe he doesn't realize the impact of what he's saying. And hey, you're still the same amazing person, no matter what the scale says. Keep being your fabulous self, and hopefully, things will work out. Sending you lots of love and positive vibes!

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