Surgery on the Sly?

[TooDyeFor]

So I'm scheduled to have my surgery on Nov. 4th ( 5 days!) and i'm beyond excited for myself, but I have to say I find it so awkward telling people I'm having it done. I didn't tell non immediate family member about my surgery until I had finished my 6 months of supervised diet, and outside of that there's really only a handful of others that know. I'm not ashamed in anyway about myself, my weight, or the surgery but it seems every time I tell someone its beyond awkward and I really don't want to be that person over sharing on my facebook. So does anyone have any similar feelings or any tips maybe on how to tell people in a subtle way?

[Think]

I don't know of a subtle way. I shared Mexico photos on FB, and when questioned I responded that I had 3 hours worth of scar tissue/adhesion removal from prior surgeries (which is completely true.) I felt no need to tell everything except a few close friends and a couple family members. Eliminated any awkward conversations.

[lornadoone629]

I told my immediate family after I'd gone through all of the pre-op testing and been approved. others, I have chosen to tell as I felt comfortable. A lot of folks have noticed my weight loss and I'll thank them and say I'm working hard on it (which I am) or I might tell them I had the surgery if it's someone I'm close to or trust. Not everyone needs to know my business. Do what comes natural to you. I'm not lying to anyone, but being picky about what I say to some folks. good luck!

[karen3n1]

I just had my surgery last week, and there were very few people that I told. I didn't tell anyone (other than family and my fiance) during the 6 month pre-op, because I didn't want people watching me eat. I told my best friend, the day I went for my last pre-op weigh in appointment. I was afraid that something would happen and I wouldn't be approved. Once I was approved, I told a few more people that I had my surgery scheduled, but other than that I just told people I was having surgery. Now, if they ask what kind, I tell them, but I do it privately. I definitely didn't broadcast it on facebook....just seemed weird.

[Kstrib]

I told a few people, mainly my primary friends and immediate family. I ended up telling someone at my son's school because I wasn't prepared for the nosy question you posed to me about what kind of surgery I was going to have. My position is that it's not a secret but it's not necessarily something I go around talking about. If someone were to ask me, I'd tell them. If someone were to compliment me, I'd say thanks. Otherwise it's really no one else's business.

Kat

P.S. After the first nosy question that I wasn't ready for, I then developed a response. I had to use it once and I just said "I'm having abdominal surgery but it's no big deal." Another response to "what are you doing to lose weight" would be "I'm just did what had to be done for my health" and leave it at that. If they pry beyond that vague answer, I'd probably tell them. But most people will be the clue to BUTT OUT.

[SeaShell]

After whining about my weight for so many years and my friends and family being so concerned about me - when I finally made the call do have it done - none of these people were shocked or judgmental or anything. The biggest issue wasn't even that I was going to Mexico - but that I was going alone for this surgery. I am sure that because I have been upfront and honest with several friends that my trip to Mexico is all but common knowledge in my little community. But that's ok - I have pretty thick skin - just didn't like all that fat under it! I have had a few people text me to inquire how I was feeling and doing and my family has been great - but as far as taking it public on something like Facebook or Twitter or anything like that - yeah - not going to open that can of worms for myself. People can and probably will be talking behind my back - that's ok - but I really don't need to read all about it on Facebook. So maybe I am in denial - I am sticking pretty close to home - and I don't look any different at this point - but so far so good on the judgemental comments - but I'm sure they are coming!! Lucky me - I will leaving for Mexico in about 5 weeks and won't be back for a few months - I'm hoping to look a lot different then! All I can say is do what feels right to you!! Good luck!

[bikrchk]

My immediate family knew, my team at work, (they'd worry if I'd have been secretive), and a few close friends. Definately NOT sharing on FB! If I had it to do over, I'd have told no one at work, just took my 2 weeks vacay and returned after. HR was my nightmare. Going forward, I'll be selective. I don't want to let others feel like a failure as they struggle with their weight and watch me melt and wonder why they aren't getting results. If they ask and could benefit, I'll probably share that I opted for an amazing tool to help me... selectively. Otherwise the answer will be portion control, high protein and exercise which are all true. Best of luck in your journey.

[TheNewKevin]

I told my wife after my pre-op visit (surgery - 12 days). She told my older kids and two of my brothers after I ended up in ICU - long story (see my early post if interested).

Tell who you want to tell and no one else. Its not about them

Good luck with your journey!

[luvthoztitans]

It truly is a personal decision only you can make. If you want to share the info with people, then do it. If you don't, than don't. I have told my closest friends and my family as well as my boss. And everyone else I'm sure has been talking about how fat I've gotten over the past three years and 9 months, so when I start losing they can all talk about how I'm not so fat anymore. LOL! If anyone actually asks, depending on how close I am to that person, I might tell them and I might not. It will depend on what kind of mood I'm in I guess. Good luck to you and keep us posted on your progress after the surgery!!!!

[bergamini]

I told my close friends prior to surgery and my family + social friends afterwards -- not because I was worried about their judgement but because my mother was going through cancer treatments and I didn't want to add to her burden / worries. If people ask, I tell as I have no shame and don't find it useful to keep this a "secret" or private. Rather, I use it as an opportunity to share with people a really useful tool that more people should have and use to get healthy. Keeping it a secret or extra private adds to the stigma, it doesn't relieve it. That's just my opinion.

[ThisWasForMe]

I told my husband, my children and 2 of my 5 sisters. I didn't even tell my mother. I didn't tell my boss or my workers either.

I told the people I felt need to know and who I knew would be positive with me.

Good Luck!!

[paradoxgal]

I totally agree with everyone else on this subject... it's just such a personal thing, it's not something most people announce to the world. I am not naturally a private person, so it's been difficult for me to talk to people about. I also am not ashamed, it's just that I don't want to be a public display of people to watch be a science project "see that kids, thats what I was telling you about"... hahaha
It's just a personal thing. Most people dont tell the world about all their surgeries. Right?
"my husband just went and got a vasectomy" over company email or the pulpit at church... no thanks.

[em30]

My husband knows and that's it. I've told my boss I will be out due to surgery for a few weeks but nothing more. I am not going to share with anyone else- well maybe my mom since I will be hospitalized... but not until the day before my surgery. I don't want her opinion beforehand.

[flipflopgirl]

I told my husband, my sister (she was sleeved the mo th before me) AND my BEST friend!!!!! I AM NOT ashamed JUST private!!!!! As far as my co-workers AND Boss, they ARE ALWAYS making fun of people with weight issues SO I sure as hello would NOT share with THEM!!!!? It's a personal choice!!!! Best of luck to you!!!!! This life is AMAZING!!!!!

[LealScott]

I told family and a few friends. All but one were very supportive and the friend has come around. In fact, she is looking into it now. When people ask how I lost the weight I tell them, high protein, low carb diet, counting calories, walking and water aerobics and hard work. All true. None of their business, really. This obsession people have with needing to know (or tell) everything needs to stop.

If I had decided not to tell anyone I would have said, I'm having surgery, nothing life threatening, just getting something things right." Anyone who asked would have been told, "I prefer not talking about my private health issues. But I would appreciate your kind thoughts and prayers." Done.