Negativity, jealousy??? Or am I crazy???

[Stratusphr]

I ask this question, BC my brothers wife has struggled with her weight for a long time too, she's big, but not big enough to qualify for surgery. I think she's TRYING to follow my diet, eating what I eat, etc., but I also feel like she's bringing me down because she keeps telling me it's easy for me BC I had the surgery. I'm losing weight and she's not. But, while I emphasize she's trying I know she's cheating when I'm not around. I know she has to be BC, if she'd reduced her calories to 1200 like she "shows" me on MFP then she'd have to have lost some weight by now, but in fact she's gained 2 pounds in the last week. She does NOT exercise ever and although I do not follow an exercise regimen I do go out and play some sport or another with my daughter 6 nights a week. Ie., soccer or baseball or chase... You get the idea... I'm active... She's not!

Sorry for the rant. I know I'm blessed BC I had the surgery, but I certainly wouldn't say it's been "easy" I've changed EVERYTHING

If anyone were to say to me, I took the easy way out or this is easy, I'd have to say "So what". I personally think popping prescription diet pills is easier, but then you fail as soon as you stop taking them. I've made lifestyle changes that are FOREVER, there is NO end date after having 85% of our tummy removed. I have to agree, it IS easier for me with my tummy gone. I could NOT have done this with a full sized stomach, I know that, it is easier for me to make wise decisions, it is easier for me to resist when I need to or want to. I am not hungry, so I am not fighting that demon. God willing, it will be like this forever.
I don't know how overweight your sister in law is, but if she is like the rest of us, she'll continue to yo you diet and chances are, she'll eventually gain enough to follow in your shoes.

I am sure she is envious and I am sure she would have loved it if y'all could have done this together.

[Stratusphr]

Thank you all for the input. I feel sorry for her too, I know she's miserable but I refuse to let her bring me down. I was brave and I did something about my misery. Maybe in her eyes it's the easy way out but I don't think there's anything easy about it. We still face struggles every day when we walk by a piece of cake etc., Thank you all so very very much for your positive reinforcement! IDK what I'd do without everyone here. I feel truly blessed!

Don't let HER bring you down, be her cheerleader, it will make you both happier. Tell her she CAN do it and then tell her if she CANNOT, then she does have options and help her figure out what she CAN do. Your glass is more than half full.....spread the joy!

[Scubagecko]

I recently met a colleague at a conference and he was amazed by my transformation he had seen me before my sleeve and 3 months out, I'm 9 months out now. and I've come to the realization, in looking at myself and other people on here and my stats and weight trackers that after the surgery for about 6 months the weight loss is relatively easy to achieve. Your body is adjusting and very often even if you want to eat you can't. Now following your diet getting your protein and staying away from carbs and sweets only helps. Also, getting your activity helps as well.

My point is this any of these non-sleevers that bitch and moan about taking the easy way out is always "Bull-pucky" as my Aunt used to say but it becomes null and void after 6 months. Your body adjusts to whatever you do to it and once it's normal for your body the rest is up to you. Just think of all those on here and everywhere else that got sleeved and then gained some or most of the weight back. They all have their excuses and I'm not criticizing them they live their lives and make their own choices. And, that's my point everyone that kept losing 6 months or 6 years out has done it on their effort not the surgery. The sleeve is a tool but it's not magic you choose to not snack on sweets, even when no one's looking. You choose to go for a walk, play with your kids or pets, go to the gym. You choose to drink water rather than juices or caramel lattes.

Jealousy is a reality, especially among women. Sorry ladies but I'm a man with mostly female friends and the criticisms between women are head a shoulders worse than the ones men will hurl at each other. the only caveat on that is ones that husbands, boyfriends, brothers, fathers or other loved ones make. Those affect you more as they are closer to you and may have a lot more baggage attached. If the person being difficult was only an acquaintance or person now proving to not be a good friend it may be better just cutting them out of your life but family member, even ones by marriage, are likely not going anywhere and you will have to find a way to deal with them. My suggestion is to offer more help and when you compare notes be sure to add all the times you passed up a cookie or cake at work, or that water you drank rather than the juice remarking that it's amazing how many calories are around tempting us all the time. many people will count their meals but then figure the snacks don't count, trust me they do. Or, forget how many calories they consume in their drinks.

This may never end the jealousy or back biting she gives you but you should have the satisfaction that you have done your best and hold your sexy head up high when you hit your goal that regardless of what others may mistakenly believe you got their based on your own effort and making more of the right choices than poor ones.