Anyone do this ALONE, alone?

[bucbratt]

So, I am separated from my husband. When I left him, I left everyone I knew in this city because they were his friends first, etc.

I don't have a strong connection with anyone here. My mother passed away years ago. I'm sitting here having a pity party that I won't have anyone to talk to or to help me through this. I haven't even told anyone.

Did anyone else do it totally alone? How did you do?
If you didn't, do you think you would have been ok alone?

I'm worried about the part where I regret what I did. I'm prone to depression already...was that the worst part?

I am going to Mexico, so I will have 2 days in the hospital, then 2 in the hotel...then it's off to alone land! Well, I do have two little boys, but they won't know!

[Breen]

I have out of state family and friends, my husband works like crazy and I have only a few acquaintances close by. I don't know them to where I could have called and asked them to come take care of me. I also have 2 young children. After the first week I was better and not needing naps from exhaustion. My husband went back to work 3 days after surgery and I was on my own. Unless you have complications, I don't see why it should be too rough unless you have to lift more than 10 lbs. As for the regret, we all feel it. Just know it faded for me by the end of the 3rd week. I hope you can figure everything out and find some help. Good luck.

[Kimpossible318]

Is there a support group where you live?

[Lori44]

First let me say that it is incredibly brave for you to be going to Mexico and being in a strange environment and then staying in a hotel. I can honestly say I would not do it because I would be too insecure and scared. My husband is very supportive and I have only told a few people in my life. I do have support but mostly from people who have no idea what it is like to be in our shoes so a lot of the time I don't try to explain anymore. This is about me and the quality of my life. As long as my husband is on board I'm fine with getting sleeved.
You did the right thing by joining this website. It has been very helpful to me and if you get on it daily you will learn a lot. Don't feel alone, we are here for you and if you need anything we are just a cyber hop, skip, and jump away.

[Nervia]

Honey, this is a time when it might not be so bad to be "alone". I personally have people around me ,but few who know about my impending surgery. I am going to be a Mexico Sleever also, and to keep the negative chatter out of my head, I've chosen to not tell. As stated earlier, this site is wonderful for company. You can hop online at any time and find someone awake! We are your support, you are not alone!

[Truebody]

Yep did it alone. Mum couldn't cope with the news, so didn't tell her. The only two people who knew were my friends and everyone on this site. I also believe that as you do this for yourself - you are all you need, however I did welcome having one friend stay with me the first night out of hospital. The rest was up to me and my medical team.
This site was my support group. Couldn't have done it any other way.

[bucbratt]

I've been looking for a support group, but haven't found much. I found one, but it doesn't look very promising. Thanks for the reminder to keep looking, though!

My dad was in the army and I have travelled most of my life. I've been to Africa, out in the bush, many countries...so, I'm probably stupid, but going to Mexico does not scare me. I mean, I won't be found out after dark or anything!

I guess I'm just worried about the emotional part. I just have to push through it, though. I've seen everyone here be so supportive, so I'll try to jump in. I'm looking forward to starting this journey, though. I'm tired of fighting this fight I can't win!

[bucbratt]

Is there a support group where you live?

Have you had good luck with a support group?

[Cindola]

Sweetie, you really aren't totally alone as you have us! I am a widow and retired, plus I went to Mexico for my sleeve . . . To make al long story short one of my two kids was supportive and the other was dead set against my having surgery. A former college volunteered to come with me to Mexico . . . What a hoot, I slept and she knitted and read, it was nice to have her there but I had planned to go it alone. To this day only about 10 people know that I've had surgery -- I am slowly letting people know. I still have a ways to go, but Rome wasn't built in a day and it took me years to gain all of my weight. I know that my sleeve will only work as well as I use it and follow the rules. Summer is hard but fall is just around the corner, but I am in a better place than I was 10 months ago, and a year ago I made my decision. I'd be glad to be your support!

[Kelli D]

Look at this like a new start that you are creating for yourself! It is a journey to a new place in life for you. You are the only one in control of this destiny and we are all here for you! The regret is completely normal and passes quickly. For me it was about a week and then I was good to go. That doesn't mean I didn't have head hunger issues to deal with because I did. My surgeon warned me that some people get a little depressed a few weeks after surgery but he also said it is usually from body trauma and passes quickly also. This I didn't really have but I did have a few low days here and there. The one thing you have going for yourself is your awareness of these things. You have young children who will keep you busy and cooking meals for all of you will be easier because they are little and can learn to eat healthy with you (not that they aren't now). Hang in there and stay on this forum we are all your friends and will be there for you. Just think of how you will feel when you are a month out and losing weight and feeling good about yourself. That is the time to start signing up for some classes like dance, pottery, etc. You will meet people that way and build on your life. I wish you the very best in this journey............I bet there is a happily ever after for you!!

[MysticalMaybe]

I was alone, the only help i got was a ride to and from the hospital.
I had a wonderful nurse the first shift so she was really the only person i needed. Other nurses were pretty bad but I was able to do things on my own by then. I was up and walking a few hours after my surgery, un pluged my IV from the wall and rolled out and walked around lol. You will want to sleep alot so someone being there is not really important. I was a little sad that no one came to see me and everyone else had loved ones near them but I got over it.

Now my house is alittle messy right now because I can only do so much then I get tired but I take little breaks and try and start again.

Good luck to you. Take something you can go online with. We will all be here. Oh and something to take your temp with so you can make sure your temp isnt getting high. You will be your own nurse in your hotel room lol

[CarriD]

I don't think I count as alone because I am in a long term relationship (been there done the marriage thing it's not happening again) but let me tell you.. he's a good man he is but you talk about someone being as negative as possible about surgery??! I wanted to beat him! So he voiced his opinion reasonably and respectfully as I would have expected him to.. but when it came time to do the six months of classes I swear he purposefuly cooked the most fattiest meals or wanted to go to dinner 3 times a week. There wasn't anyone to talk to about anything because his only answer would be .."I don't think you need surgery!" Now let me say I am guilty at looking at certain people and thinking "seriously" but I would have rather him voiced him opinions and concerns and then SUPPORTED my decisions and left it at that. After surgery he's not been much better, let's face it I need him to stroke my ego.. and he is not. He compliments normal things .. my outfit..hair etc but he doesn't discuss weight loss or how I am feeling, eating etc. It's like a dirty secret! My children being all rotten teenagers and my daughter who is quickly gaining herself were also not very supportive, they have come along way since surgery. I truthfully made this decision after years of back and fourth and gaining and gaining and said to H**L with everyone else and what they think! It's about you!! So you do what you want for yourself and for your new path!

[Sheila Anne]

My sister flew to Mexico alone and flew back to Canada with no assistance (wheelchair assistance never happened even though she had asked for it). She even managed the connecting flight in Chicago by herself. She was told that 95% of the patients do it alone, although I find that percentage quite high. If you feel strongly about this, you will find the courage and the energy to do it. In the long run, you will definitely not regret your decision.

It would be good, however, if your kids' dad could take care of them while you recuperate. You should not be lifting more than 10 to 15 pounds in the beginning. You also need your rest, esp the first week.

As for friends, you just have to log into this site and you will have hundreds of friends to help you through this and to be by your side. By losing weight, you may also feel braver to make some new friends. There are a lot of single moms out there who would enjoy doing activities with you and your kids.

Have courage, you can do this!

Sheila

[bucbratt]

Thanks! You are all great! I was reading the responses and laughing and crying! I appreciate you all!

I feel like my life is in a weird stall stage...I'm waiting for this new beginning to start, in limbo waiting. Luckily, I'm moving in 2 weeks. Have something else to focus on! It's neat...when I move is the same time I start my pre-op diet. Fresh start at the new house!!!

[skinny2be]

All of us on here are like a big family. You can reach out to anyone of us!!! Please feel free to contact me if you need to talk!!
Good luck to you and I will keep you in my prayers!!