I especially agree and love what Niamh said. I would go further to say that when he has his tantrums get out of there! Go far a walk, go for a car ride, don't respond or give him your energy & attention to those tantrums. Brilliantly said above: 'silence is golden'. If his behaviour is too much for you, seek counselling. You need to get support for you.
If you respond 'professionally' and refuse o get tangled in his negativity, he might just open his eyes and wish the same successful path for himself. The best way to change others for the better is to lead by example. Remember this if you're in pain after surgery, remember this when he has pizza, a bag of chips or a big juicy burger. Smile inwardly and realize that not only will you benefit but if you stick to it you might just influence him to want to look/feel that good too. Many couples end up both getting sleeved - never say never!!
In the mean time, reassure him that you're going to still cook him some of his fav meals, he can still have his pop and maybe ask him if he'll go to the same lengths to help you out ie. my oh gives me reassurance that I look great, shows me concern there is something at mealtime that I can eat too, gives me big bear hugs and measuring my smaller waist in his arms now and then. Be specific with him about what things you would appreciate,after you've fully reassured him you'll do everything you can to take care of him in a similar way that you do now, it opens the conversation for your needs to be met.
I eat completely differently than my oh, most of my gf's do too. have you always eaten similar to your oh? My oh loves pop, I love sparkly water but due to carbonation only have it now and then as a treat. I mostly drink water with lemon/lime juice, crystal light or tea. He eats a mass of potatoes and cheese/mayo sandwiches, I've always known bread, rice, potatos puts the pounds on me. I eat more like a caveman, meat & salad, he's got the added mashed potatoes or fries. I'm ok with it, I don't need those calories, I shouldn't be as big as him. How many years did I weigh more than him and he's 5 inches taller than I am? I hated it. I'm now more than 30 lbs lighter than him and his pants are wy too big for me. This is the way I've always wanted it. Figure out what you want lady and go for it. Keep us posted how you're doing, we're all here to support you!!
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