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  1. #1
    Gastric Sleeve Member LosingMissLisa's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Lisa
    Surgery date
    04/29/2013
    Surgeon
    Dr. Steiner
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    02-01-2014 01:35 AM
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    Unhappy Is everyone a food addict?

    I had a very bad evening in a group that was supposed to be a 'support' group. (on Facebook) I've been a member of the group for about 3 months...had sleeve surgery a lil over 2 months ago. Anyways, up to this point, everyone has been very friendly and supportive, encouraging and inspiring. But tonight, I posted a rant because I was feeling frustrated at the typical stereotypes when dealing with obese people. Like how the media presents us as all being over-eaters who gorge ourselves on an enormous amount of junk food. I don't do this and I know other ppl who don't do this either. I don't consider myself a food addict but when I voiced that opinion in a comment I was basically attacked by a few different ppl who just didn't believe me. I was called a liar and told that I was in denial. I was ridiculed and even a bit mocked. I have NEVER been treated this way before and was crumbled to tears. When I tried to defend myself...to explain myself, I was attacked even more. When I tried to apologize for even saying anything to begin with, I was again attacked. I didn't know how to handle this and now I'm just left wondering if I'm wrong. If we are obese, does that automatically mean that we are addicted to food? I don't think so. I don't obsess over food.....I don't overeat....I don't hide food or any of those things. If anything, I am the opposite...I don't eat enough...which is part of my problem. I have sent my body into starvation mode to the point of an almost non-existent metabolism. This is part of why I gained so much weight. I also have PCOS with insulin resistance and sleep apnea which have both added to that. Then, I've lived a sedentary lifestyle as a data entry operator and then disabled with mobility issues. I know that I have so many different issues that have led to the weight gain, but I don't blame all of it on medical issues. (which I was also accused of in the post as I tried to defend and explain myself) Now I'm just feeling a bit crushed and I've lost my trust/comfort in the group. I don't feel like I could be open anymore. Tho many ppl have been supportive of me and sided with me, there are many others who have sided with the other girl. (the main one who said most of the negative things) I feel like it got way out of hand and was just childish. While I don't mind if others disagree with me, I do mind the way they portray their opinions.....and the way they spoke to me and others who sided with me on the issue. I guess my main question is....if we are obese does that mean we are also food addicts? And, should I stay in the group and only converse with those who are supportive (there are over 400 ppl in the group and hard to know when something like this might happen again. Also the ones that were being so rude are some of the main contributors to the group) or do I just leave the group? Sorry for the long post......I'm just really hurt right now....



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  4. #2
    Gastric Sleeve Member Lovely's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgery date
    06/26/2013
    Surgeon
    Dr. Jeffrey Hamm
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    Default Re: Is everyone a food addict?

    Honey, you are not alone. I, too, gained lots of weight due to non existent metabolism. My problem was the same as yours. I never ate. This totally screwed my system up to the point where everything I ate, my body held on to.

    It is quite saddening how mean people can be. I am so sorry you had to experience that. I think you'll enjoy this group much more. Very good,sincere, mature folks.

    Lovely



  5. #3
    Gastric Sleeve Member j5Yolanda's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgery date
    12/16/2013
    Surgeon
    Valenzuela, MD
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    Jul 2013
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    06-15-2015 07:59 AM
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    Edmonton, Alberta
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    Default Re: Is everyone a food addict?

    Hello Lisa, I Read your post. I'm new and have not had my sleeve yet. Sometimes we need to look inwards for support. It does not really matter what anyone says, yes its good if they are nice, but people are not nice all the time. What is really important is your progress. How you feel about the new you. Follow the plan and do the hard work and lose the weight. That is all that is important. Do shed tears unless they are of happiness. Look to the group for ideas, don't get caught up in the ranting. Life is short, yours has gotten longer. Be happy and move forward.


  6. #4
    Banned
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Christy
    Surgery date
    09/08/2011
    Surgeon
    Dr. Mario Almanza
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    Default Re: Is everyone a food addict?

    I cant answer your question about whether or not all obese people are food addicts because I am not God, but what I can say is when you are on an online Forum or FaceBook Group or even a Live support group and you put yourself out there with a comment, you open yourself up to ALL kinds of feedback. Particularly ONLINE because the people who are not going to be "supportive" or agree with you do not have to worry about bashing you FACE TO FACE. Additionally, a FORUM, such as this and probably not much different from the closed FB pages, are not necessarily strictly SUPPORT groups and everyone is entitled to their opinion. Unfortunately, if a person is not prepared to take the criticism as well as the "supportive" comments, I would say they are in for some big hurtful moments. That said, I would not discourage you from posting but just take what you find helpful and leave the rest behind. OPEN FORUM are not for the weak at heart, that is for sure!! There are way too many other things to feel sad about and cry over than a bunch of UNKNOWN FB people who do not agree with your way of thinking. Let it go and move forward. :-)

  7. #5
    Gastric Sleeve Member christinae85's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Christina
    Surgery date
    09/13/2017
    Surgeon
    Dr. Peterson
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    Default Re: Is everyone a food addict?

    Was it Sassy Sleevers?! I left that group after being in there for about a month. The internet has no shortage of bullying & ignorance that's for sure. It's just always shocking & disgusting to see it in a WLS support group. You're not wrong AT ALL! I'm the same way as you. I didn't get to this weight by gorging constantly. Have I overeaten in the past? Of course! I don't know a single person, skinny or not, that hasn't had a giant celebration dinner or the like here & again. My primary problem is that I DON'T eat enough. And because of insane schedule constraints I'm constantly under, as well as severe joint problems in my legs, I can't workout like I'd love & need to. It all adds up to a nonexistent metabolism.

    I struggle with weight loss counseling/support groups because of this inability to relate to what they generally talk about. Drives me up a wall when my counselor's go to example of behavior modification is to get her patients from eating the entire package of Oreos to just 2 cookies. I think after the 2nd time she said something like that I snapped saying how I found that example offensive because I DO NOT eat like that! But she quickly bounced back saying it was just an example & that some people only eat twice a day (sounds familiar...) and they're killing their metabolism doing it because like you said, the body is constantly in starvation mode & storing EVERYTHING.

    Trust me when I say, working in a hospital, I'm still amazed on almost a daily basis by the level of ignorance people have in regards to the way their own body functions. In this day & age of information, ignorance is a choice. I know it's easier said than done, but it's best to ignore the ignorant & move on. I'm sorry they hurt you, but in this process, you must focus on making yourself mentally strong as well as physically. Remember, these people don't know you & your journey at all so they have no say in it! Take care, be strong, & be happy!!!



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  9. #6
    Gastric Sleeve Member LosingMissLisa's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Lisa
    Surgery date
    04/29/2013
    Surgeon
    Dr. Steiner
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
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    02-01-2014 01:35 AM
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    Kentucky
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    Default Re: Is everyone a food addict?

    Thank you all for your support and kind words and validation. I'm still shaking my head over that conversation and just shocked that it even happened. I know I have to work on a thicker skin tho....I'm just used to everyone loving me, I guess...hahaha j/k

    Christinae, it wasn't Sassy Sleevers...I'm not a member of that one but now I'm seeing the problem with these groups. You never really know who you are talking to and ppl get bold when they are hiding behind a computer, huh? I wish I could go to my program's live support group meetings but I have to travel pretty far to get there and thats just not often possible. But even then, I'm sure there would be conversations about over eating that I just couldn't relate to.

    Yolanda, I'm going to try to take your advice and look inward for that validation. My husband and family, friends, doctors, nutritionist, everyone involved supports me whole-heartedly and I'm going to be ok. I'm doing exactly what I'm supposed to do and doing well at it. I will succeed!

    Thanks so much for all your support...it really means a lot to me. <3



  10. #7
    Gastric Sleeve Member christinae85's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Christina
    Surgery date
    09/13/2017
    Surgeon
    Dr. Peterson
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    Default Re: Is everyone a food addict?

    Oh & as far as if you should leave the group, I'd say yes. If the people that run the page are condoning negative hurtful comments then it's not a support page. If it's not a support page, then why be on it? Because of what happened with the page I mentioned above, & some other pages I had liked on facebook, I made a decision last week: if it has a negative impact on my mental well being, I'm cutting it out of my life. Not because I can't handle it or because I'm "weak at heart", but because if it's not empowering or strengthening you, then why tolerate it? I don't keep negative disrespectful friends in my life, so why would I on facebook? It's common knowledge that positive support is crucial to success in this process. Some are strong enough to take on the world all by themselves & good for them. Personally, I have found most people that think they're doing it all on their own have an amazing support network of some kind that they're just not acknowledging so that they can try to proudly say they did it all on their own, but that's neither here nor there. I digress. LOL

    I'm on 2 sleeve support pages on facebook that are absolutely lovely & have never seen ANYONE attacked for anything. They're not as big, but I believe large numbers of people only means they're accepting EVERYONE which includes the bullies. Forget that noise! :P Shoot me a message if you want to know what they're called. I think you need to friend request the people running them or be invited...can't remember. Anywho! Chin up & everything will be ok! Tomorrow's a brand new day.



  11. #8
    Gastric Sleeve Member hope4me's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgery date
    12/10/2012
    Surgeon
    Dr. Almanza
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    Default Re: Is everyone a food addict?

    Wow made me want to go to that site and put those people on blast. Look, what you have said is right. And then again we are not all a like. You know your body and let me tell you, You sounded just like me. I was doing the same thing the opposite of what people think I was doing, I just decided enought was enought and had this sleeve done.I think you should depart from that site if they are going to be like that. Beside if it is suppose to be a site that relate to obese ect... then you were not out of order saying what you had to say. I hope all is well with you now. Take care.

    MARCHING ON TOWARD THE PRIZE.

  12. #9
    Gastric Sleeve Member Lea's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
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    Lea
    Surgery date
    01/21/2013
    Surgeon
    Dr. Attiles
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    Default Re: Is everyone a food addict?

    I am sorry you were mistreated on your sleeve site. It's astounding the way folks will attack....
    I am a food addict, this I know about myself. I might not have ate terribly everyday but I did it frequently enough that I gained 100 pounds in the last 10years. I was already overweight. So I kept 3 5000 extra calories on yearly instead of burning them off. Really not that difficult, I certainly enjoyed doing it since events always involved food. I also had the very bad habit of eating most of my food at the end of the day like a large dinner and then snacking, The sleeve forced me in a way to do what all the experts have always told us.....frequent , small meals for fueling our bodies. I needed the sleeve to keep me from continuing my unhealthy pattern. I can only say what my story is.....I do agree after years of dieting
    We probably screwd up our metabolism too. I wish you luck on your journey and try not to let the "meanies" hurt u!

  13. #10
    Gastric Sleeve Member vickybeads's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Victoria
    Surgery date
    11/19/2012
    Surgeon
    Dr Stewart, Denton TX
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    Default Re: Is everyone a food addict?

    Life is too short to put up with negativity from a FB page, or any other page for that matter. I'd leave the page and if they ask for a reason - give 'em your 5 cents worth!

    You are a strong individual to open yourself up out there, but you can overcome their cowardly criticisms and hateful talk. Just leave them in your wake on your way to slimdom and healthy living!
    <small>
    MyFitnessPal - Nutrition Facts For Foods</small>
    GOAL! Woo hoo! Now to maintain, or maybe add a few!
    Last Weigh-in: 1/13/15, 136.4
    Next Weigh-in: 1/19/15


  14. #11
    Gastric Sleeve Member christine53's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Surgery date
    03/15/2013
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    Alejandro Lopez
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    Default Re: Is everyone a food addict?

    That's what is wrong with Face Book and etc. they make use feel like children and open us up for abuse. We cry over stupid things from people that we will never meet, and don't matter. Like Msvetrn said " web support groups are not for the weak. They help, OMG don't know what I would do without this one, but you take what you want and leave they rest. My thoughts on that



  15. #12
    Gastric Sleeve Member Truffles's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Brigitte
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    08/24/2012
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    Dr. Almanza
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    Default Re: Is everyone a food addict?

    Scooch over, Christy and Christine53. I'll sit on your bench, too.

    Like christine said, "take what you want and leave the rest." There are people who cannot handle differing opinions so they attack, call you names, accuse you of all sorts of stuff. Let it slide off you like water off a duck's back. Try and adapt a "no worries" attitude. Also, know that you will have silent support from many people who are too intimidated to post anything. Your opinion is not alone, even though it might seem that way sometimes.

    Sadly, you will probably discover that behaviour in real life, too. Backhanded compliments. Some people are incapable of offering compliments without a negative attached. I got one a couple of days ago. "Look at you! You've lost so much weight! But you should buy a girdle." Take the advice from the Madagascar Penguins, "Just smile and nod." LOL
    Nov. 15/17 - re-sleeve, hiatal hernia repair, gallbladder removal with Dr. A. Lopez from AloBariatrics in Puerto Vallarta



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  17. #13
    Gastric Sleeve Member LosingMissLisa's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Lisa
    Surgery date
    04/29/2013
    Surgeon
    Dr. Steiner
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    Default Re: Is everyone a food addict?

    Thanks so much everyone. I did get a lot of support from the group after that happened. There are a select few...who are friends irl....who have shown support for her (the main one doing the attacking), but there were a lot more who commented or sent me pm's that were very supportive and kind. The person who created the group even pm'd me and apologized and asked me not to leave. A couple of them told me that this same girl has caused similar drama in the past...even with her own sister! (her sister left the group) One said that it has happened to 6 other ppl that she knows of plus herself. (all by the same girl)

    So, while I woke up to an outpouring of love, there were also new posts that were negative and hurtful all over again. Especially one from that girl's wife that was completely untruthful. See, my original post was deleted. (by whom, I'm not sure) so she was explaining what happened to a bunch of ppl who weren't even there. Her explanation was that I had attacked the other girl because I didn't like what she had to say. (completely the opposite of what actually happened) So, I had to defend myself...again. I stood my ground and she shut up.

    Currently, they are all at a irl support group meeting (where they mentioned discussing this) in another state. I'm waiting for the 2nd round of aftermath to hit........

    oh, and btw, the main girl blocked me so now I can't even see what she's saying about me anymore. I'm trying to just move on.....while still completely shocked that it happened.



  18. #14
    Banned
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Christy
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    09/08/2011
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    Dr. Mario Almanza
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    Default Re: Is everyone a food addict?

    Yah. JUST DO YOU, Mama....don't fret about what others say!

  19. #15
    Gastric Sleeve Member LosingMissLisa's Avatar
    I have had a gastric sleeve.
    Name
    Lisa
    Surgery date
    04/29/2013
    Surgeon
    Dr. Steiner
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
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    02-01-2014 01:35 AM
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    Kentucky
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    Default Re: Is everyone a food addict?

    Trying to....thanks Msvetrn

    Its very hard tho. I checked in on it tonight and another of her friends has put up another post mocking me. Its about food addiction and how she's 'finally come to terms with her denials and is accepting that she is addicted to food and needs help" And of course all of her buddies are saying how proud they are of her for letting go of her denial and stuff. Then she said 'thanks, you all know how hard it was for me to post this...I was afraid I'd be attacked."

    Now, if she legit has a problem then I feel for her but it all seems a bit too coincidental to me. I dunno....maybe I'm being paranoid at this point, but I really don't think I am. I haven't said a word all evening and don't plan to. I just think its pretty pathetic at this point. If it weren't for all the ppl who reached out to me this morning in a show of support I would honestly leave the group. I guess I'll just lay low for a while and see what develops.



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