Could it be time to say goodbye

[SethP]

Over the course of the last two weeks it appears that I have said things that others found to be offensive or hurtful. This is a public forum and with that said one would think that there could be things that we dont agree with. Does this mean that we can verbally attack the commenter? I do not expect every one to like what I say or to agree with me. IF you disagree and want to debate in an intelligent adult manner I invite the banter. IF you want to whine and cry like a child I dont have time for that. IF this is the sort of behavior that is normal on this forum then It might just be better for me to bow out of the site completely.

We all need to be more respectful of each other. With that said I will also put this out there for you. IF you cant respect others then that just shows how little respect you have for yourself. Respect starts at home. That is all I have to say about that.

[MrsB0324]

Whoa!!!! I don't think anyone should not feel comfortable with saying what they feel but I also think we should think before we write. We have to remember that everyone is here for the same purpose.....to find support with fellow sleevers and learn from each other. There are ways to voice one's opinions or get one's point across without coming off as being offensive. On the flip side, there are ways to reads someone's posting without feeling as if you are being attacked personally. I think everyone has a responsibility to respect each other's opinion whether you agree or disagree. Freedom of speech is what this country is built upon and we should be allowed to speak our minds............ BUT be cognizant of others feelings and how something may be misinterpreted. This site serves a purpose for all of us and it would be unfair for anyone to drop off just because someone is pissed off by what was said. As long as the intent was not malicious, then people should be allowed to speak freely. Recognize that there are some people who will be offended by what people say. Also recognize that there are boundaries that should not be crossed. In the famous words of Rodney King......"can we all just get along"!!!

[Truebody]

Seth - don't go. I've also ruffled some feathers. Easy enough to do it seems even if your heart is in the right place and have the best of intentions. It's a public forum - takes all sorts and you cannot win them all.

[Truffles]

Pffft. Stay.

I'm kinda blunt at times, too.

Don't worry about it.

[SethP]

Seth - don't go. I've also ruffled some feathers. Easy enough to do it seems even if your heart is in the right place and have the best of intentions. It's a public forum - takes all sorts and you cannot win them all.

You can be sure that I will ruffle lots of feathers if I continue to post my opinions. For some reason I seem to be born in the wrong time era. I tend to be somewhat of a dinosaur with todays crowds. IT has nothing at all with winning. I know that there is no way at all for one to win them all. I tend to see things differently then most. It seems that I tend to see things the way my father did and he has been gone for 10 years already. I do not blame my past or my parents for the decisions that I have made. It reminds me of a song that George Jones sang called "choices". I am living and dieing from the choices I have made.

[SethP]

Pffft. Stay.

I'm kinda blunt at times, too.

Don't worry about it.

Brigitte,

You can rest assure that I am not worried about it. I will not lose any sleep over upsetting someone with a comment I make. I just do not want to be a stubling block for someone not getting healthier or failing in their journey for weight loss.

[Truffles]

Brigitte,

You can rest assure that I am not worried about it. I will not lose any sleep over upsetting someone with a comment I make. I just do not want to be a stubling block for someone not getting healthier or failing in their journey for weight loss.

You won't be. This forum's software has an "Ignore" feature. If someone doesn't like what you say, they can use it, and then they never have to read your posts again.

I'll be honest here. At 9 months out, I don't come here for questions to be answered. I come here to keep myself reminded of why I had this surgery. Unfortunately, people make poor choices even after the surgery and their poor choices reinforces my dedication to changing my life's health for the better. It sounds kind of awful, I know. I try to offer constructive support where I can, but I don't coddle people either.

Everyone comes here for their own reason. Some come to be petted and reassured, others come for a swift kick in the ass to get them back on track. Use the forum for what suits you. You should not leave because someone got upset at your comments. You should leave if you find you don't need this place anymore.

[brooklyn_mom]

Hey Seth,
not sure what posts you are talking about but I have always enjoyed the comments you wrote for my posts. You have offered me some good advice about various topics-such as when I was debating on what to tell my 4 year old about the surgery-you opted for honesty. I saw the truth in your opinion and it made me "woman up" and speak to her in a age appropriate but truthful way.
I hope you stay!

[lornadoone629]

Don't leave us Seth! Everyone's experiences have helped me in my journey and what I can expect to happen. The difference in me is that I read the responses, move on when I don't agree or comment with constructive (hopefully) input. I just blame some of the hostile comments I've seen on "CARB rage". lol Seriously though, we are all going through this process and some handle the changes better than others. From reading the posts, some people still seem to think that this is a magic bullet that will fix their weight problems and their life issues. Going into this with a healthy attitude that it won't FIX anything, is what I am doing. If I don't change, it doesn't matter how small my stomach is....... Some folks might just need to put their big girl panties or big boy boxers on and listen. Keep posting and letting us pre -op babies know what it's like on the post side. We need your input......... everyone might not like it, but we do need the diverse opinions and ideas this forum gives us!!!!

[Anissa Christine]

I am certain at one time or another...several people have wished I would fall off the planet...or at least off of this forum...haha

In fact awhile back I was verbally "attacked" by a dynamic duo...maybe it was a trio..I forget now...my thoughts on the whole "ordeal" (for lack of a better word) was water on a duck's back...their words rolled right off me. I figure if they are attacking me it's actually a good thing..a weaker person might have become an emotional wreck and/or consumed a package of Oreo's.

I am outspoken..I am bold...I cling to my own beliefs 100% of the time. I don't "coddle" people on here when it comes to eating behaviors...or "sins". I see no "benefit" in justifying behaviors they know are wrong.

I respect viewpoints even if they differ from my own..however it does not mean I need to "accept" them...nor attack them.

I annoy people...people annoy me...that's the way life works. If you are benefiting from this forum I recommend staying. I basically come here for the "exercise thread"..it holds me accountable and there are several people who post on that thread who are simply awesome!

Best wishes!

[Bruiser]

Seth, like Brooklyn_mom, I haven't seen anything you've posted to be offensive, not that I can say I've read them all.

But like the line in one of my favorite movies...."You want the truth? You Can't Handle the Truth!!"

I am of like age to you and think that some people are accustomed to only hearing what they want to hear. It's how we've all rationalized our weight for so many years.

When someone is truly open, honest and ready to make the change, the words of wisdom, grown out of experience, will be taken in the right context.

Stick around. We need your honest feedback.

[RoxFC]

I don't read every post but you have never said anything that I find to be offensive! You should stay for yourself...this place has useful information that you can use as you continue on your sleeved journey. You can block the people that have attacked you!

[wannabhealthy50]

Seth, please don't leave. You were one of the first that welcomed me and I just joined toaday! Please don't go! I'm an old school thinker as well but I'm okay with that.

[Town976]

Don't leave. Everyone needs some honest wisdom at times.

[SethP]

Don't leave us Seth! Everyone's experiences have helped me in my journey and what I can expect to happen. The difference in me is that I read the responses, move on when I don't agree or comment with constructive (hopefully) input. I just blame some of the hostile comments I've seen on "CARB rage". lol Seriously though, we are all going through this process and some handle the changes better than others. From reading the posts, some people still seem to think that this is a magic bullet that will fix their weight problems and their life issues. Going into this with a healthy attitude that it won't FIX anything, is what I am doing. If I don't change, it doesn't matter how small my stomach is....... Some folks might just need to put their big girl panties or big boy boxers on and listen. Keep posting and letting us pre -op babies know what it's like on the post side. We need your input......... everyone might not like it, but we do need the diverse opinions and ideas this forum gives us!!!!

Thank you for your response. You are right that many do not look into the mental aspect of doing this and the SLEEVE is a TOOL and not a magical answer.