I hope at some point soon you will be able to stand up to those a$$holes because that is a big part of what I find is wrong with society, bullying is talked about as such a horrific thing but adults dont seem to think that when they say things like that that they are bullying and that is exactly what those hurtful "jokes" that arent funny in the least is. I can see your anger in this post and I am sure soon you will be standing there telling those people off for that kind of unacceptable behavior. I have noticed since my surgery I have had a lot more of a back bone in those situations and even strangers will feel my wrath when I over hear them saying such terrible things. I once jumped in and started asking this group of girls who were talking about a woman a few feet in front of them. They were being really nasty and one even took a picture and when i heard "im gonna post this fat ass on face book" Oh I lost it those girls were so embarrassed and I know the woman appreciated it because she gave me a hug after they turned and left. I hate when people think its ok to just say anything about anyone I know we have the right to free speech here but my god people get a filter and a brain!
Once again I find myself in a difficult position but I will stick my neck out. Just because you came into contact with some of the lowest form of humans possible doesnt meant that it is an opportunity to bash all MALES. I for one am appaled by the term but it is in no way a new term. I heard that back in the 80's when I was still in High School.
I like what my father taught me, to respect a woman and if she is good enough to sleep with then she is good enough to marry. Remember this to be a truth in life, " men get laid when they can, but a woman gets laid when SHE wants". Do not let some jerk change your outlook on life. I tell my daughters and they understand what I mean when I do, that it is ladies fault for the way boys dress today. IF the ladies wouldn't date men in baggie clothes then the boys would change their style. Men will do whatever it takes to get with a lady. IF my lovely wife tells me that I can only wear black then that is what I would do.
It is sad that there are so many people that no longer have respect for themselves and thus they cannot have respect for others. One of my pet peeves is when I hear guys refer to a female as a "bitch", even if they are talking about how fine or good looking it is. I tell them that words have meanings and that they need to research the meaning of that word. Then I see a woman wearing a shirt saying she is one. It is a losing battle in this society and I think that I was born in the wrong time era or that I need to move to a remote island somewhere.
Very well said, coming from the other side. I think society has really gone down the tubes when I comes to respect for other human beings. Some of it is that we "allow" or tolerate others to treat us badly because we don't think we deserve better, but some of it is also that respect is no longer taught. OMG! If I talked to my parents they way kids do these days, I wouldn't be able to walk for days. We never even cussed in front of adults, and now it's like every day conversation. To me, it started when the government started taking away a parent's/teacher's right to discipline their kids. No fear of repercussions= no fear at all. OK...rant over.
Society acts like overweight people don't deserve standards and we'll take it however we can get it... Wrong. I soooo agree with pack89, it's sad that some women (and men) make themselves available to the first person that shows them a little positive attention. It's unfortunate that due to the self-esteem issues that sometimes come along with being overweight, we get classified as "easy". It breaks my heart that in a few months, I will be breaking free from that, but there will still be thousands of people that have to hear things like that.
Trust me, I have NO PROBLEM standing up to people, especially for others. Saying I lack a back bone because I chose not to blow up at a potential connection to a job once I graduate from this field of study doesn't make me weak, it makes me smart. Pretty offensive to assume my character like that. As I said, it was just shocking & stunned me that it came from someone who I had respect for. The man is an amazing teacher & in general good person, hence why it was so jarring. These moments happen. It was just insanely hurtful because of how invisible it made me feel.
Also, I wasn't bashing ALL males. I made it very clear this was an issue with this one person losing my respect. I know PLENTY of good men that would NEVER think that way, to include my wonderful boyfriend. That being said, let's not pretend this isn't a predominantly male issue as far as judging someone by their weight or outer appearance. As stated, I was in the ARMY surrounded my guys ALL THE TIME. You can't even come close to convincing me that a lot of men don't think that way. That isn't a stereotype or judgement, that's a fact from plenty of research that billions of marketing campaigns are founded on. Please don't take comments personally if you happen to be an exception to a common problem. You yourself said the term's been around since the 80's? With the rate that society is diminishing in conduct, what do you think it's like NOW? Yeah...a lot worse...
Ok, I am going to be quite unpopular here, however: Women are NO better. Women always say they don't care what a guy looks like, etc. They are just looking for a "nice guy," with a job. That is total and complete hogwash. Women go for the best looking guy in the room. It doesn't matter who they are, how much they weigh, etc. They aren't going to go out with the "nice" homely guy, with a job. They WILL, however, go out with the biggest jerk in the room, with no job, as long as he is good looking and "cool."
Not that it is right, or that I condone it, these guys were just looking for sex. Pure and simple. As the original poster said, "Its a fact of life." There are PLENTY of women who go out and do the samething.
Of course women do. Especially with generations becoming more & more vain. I think people are taking generalities WAAYYY too personally here. It's animal nature to look for the most attractive of the species. However, women WILL go out with the "nice homely guy with a job." I for one can 100% guarantee when it comes to who I'm with, looks factor in last. Are they nice? Of course. Are they some sort or prerequisite? God no. My husband of 3 years was heavy set. He was also a sweetheart & incredibly intelligent. I know, a divorcee complimenting her ex? Say WHAAA??? LOL That's a long story that has NOTHING to do with this so carrying on...
Studies have been done into this where they take a picture of a heavy set male & show it to a group of women & he is STILL found to be attractive to a percentage of the women in the group. However with a female that was heavier set, the number of men still attracted was incredibly lower. The female could not get away with the same level of obesity as the male. This isn't a made up opinion, it's a fact. Do some research, get back to me. lol
Now besides THAT, I'm not judging anyone's attractions. Be attracted to whatever you want; that's intensely personal. Fairly certain the disgusting part of the commentary was the concept of using someone's low self-esteem from a negative body image to get them into bed. THAT I can say with certainty is a male trick. I have heard PLENTY of men talk, joke, or admit to doing this. NEVER ONCE have I heard a woman say she looks for the chubby guy cuz he's easier to get into bed. :|
The governement took away the parents right to discipline children? I am not aware of that in my household for sure. IF the government wants to raise them then they can pay for it. NO child of mine will disrespect me in my household I can promise you that. I know the reason why the LORD but the largest muscle of the body on the buttocks and I am in no way afraid to discipline. I brought them into this world and I will take them out.
Christina, I was not in any way upset by your comments. I might have came across as being defensive but it isnt what I meant. I agree with you that in many ways we have come to accept more then we should just because we are a little overweight or alot overweight. Many people percieve us as being jolly because we are overweight, they do not understand that we have feelings also. You are right when you say that being invisible because we are overweight. Which is interesting because I need 2 or 3 times more space then many men to get around in but yet people dont notice me.
You do not need to bow out for starting an interesting conversation. I get tired of reading about the same things all the time and it is nice to have ADULT like conversations from time to time. It helps to stimulate the mind. Have a wonderful day
I totally agree! I have absolutely no problems cracking my kids' butt if they need it. It's just these days if you try to discipline your kids, especially out in public, you also have to be fearful that someone will call the cops, even for just a crack on the butt. I would rather discipline my kids and teach them right from wrong so the corrections officer doesn't have to. Unfortunately too many people would rather be their "friend" instead of their parents and it shows. I see it every day, and then the parents wonder why they can't control their kids or why they are trouble-makers. It's easy to blame someone else/society than to take responsibility for it ourselves. Disrespectful kids become even worse adults.
The world is littered with people (men and women) like that and all the hurtful comments do work on a persons poor self esteem. The most important thing to remember is that no matter what size we are all gods creations and are worthwhile and loved. Take care and do what you need to do to look and feel your best.
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