Will not Do Surgery !

[Rubyficient]

Hi All,

I decided I am not going to go through with my surgery!!

I think I am not ready in so many ways. I still can't get an answer to one question: Long term results 5 years+.

At first I was a %100 convinced that this is what I want to do, questions started coming up and I found most of the answers I needed on this site. It's just that the more I asked the more questions came up and I read some and watched some videos about people who have been 4 yrs out struggling all over again with weightloss issues.

The bottom line is the surgery is not magic, just a tool.

You still have to learn how to eat healthy, how to exercise, how to fix your underlying mental issues that made you over-eat in the first place. If you don't do that in the first year or so, you will suffer further ahead.

I will be completely honest I thought this was the easy way out!! But it is not!! It is hard work!!!!

So I have decided to try to these main things on my own first ONE LAST TIME!! If I fail then I will reconsider the surgery as a tool and put it in the right perspective. I also hope that if I do decide to do it that I can find some 5+ years sleevers who can share the long term ups and downs of this surgery.

I am giving myself around 6 months to try to figure this out. If I still can't get on track 6months-1yr, then I will seriously reconsider it.

I thought I should post this, maybe someone else feels the same. Instead of walking away from the forum I will stick around to learn as much as I can.

Thanks to all that helped and advised, and to those who will withstand my future nagging questions and advice seeking.

[pngnpngn]

Good luck to you. You are right this is not the easy way out, it is only a tool. But just like any diet you go on the bottom line is you have to retrain your body and mind. I wish you success in whatever you choose to do. I'm 2.5 months out and I do not regret having this surgery. It is the only tool that has worked for me. Hope you find what will work for you.

[NV_Angel]

Its awesome that you recognize the strengths and weaknesses not only of this surgery but in yourself. As someone who is dealing with underlying mental issues I applaud you for your wisdom and courage. Good for you. Keep us posted on your progress and we'll do the same. Best wishes to you on your journey!!

[Rubyficient]

Thanks for the support guys, I really appreciate and need it!

[dawnrachel]

Most importantly you have given this lots of thought and research and ultimately doing what is best for you at this time. Keep it up and keep an open mind.

[spangebabe]

I think good for you, this happened to me last year, i was gowned up ready to go through and it just didnt feel right, i told my surgeon and we canned the surgery, i had to try this one more time on my own as i felt in the bottom of my heart that the fight is still gonna be the same eventually, the ONLY thing that is appealing to me with surgery is that it is the only way to biologically reset your body, there is alot of controversy around that but on my last attempt i really believe it now, there is a book called the 10% solution/theory by an obesity specialist (george blackburn) he argues that why people who have big amounts to lose (30 kilos +) always end up putting the weight back on is because the body actually likes being fat, its a caveman thing, it wants that stored fat incase of famine, being overweight for a long period of time resets the bodys natural set point and then you try to lose it and then it comes back on with interest etc etc his theory is your body actually fights you, but he talks about tricking your body, lose 10% of your excess weight over a relaxed period of time then maintain that lost weight for up to 6 months then start on next 10%, this gives your body time to adjust to its new "set point", I was prime example of this over last few months, i did Weight watchers, was being super mindful and eating only whole foods then once i lost a certain amount BANG i turn into this bloody food vampire!!! and gained it back!, I think surgery can break through that set point as you dont actually feel the hunger initially so forcing your body down to a new set point, that is why they say that first year is cruical to try and form new habits to be prepared for it when of if the hunger comes back and when you are able to consume more etc.... But i am with you on this as I have heard nothing from anyone who is 5+ years on from this surgery, that concerns me, are they sick? regained? regretful? etc etc and the sleeve has been around for a number of years now.....I personally am strongly considering surgery again, I am exhausted by all the complete utter fight of it all and being consumed by it, but i totally totally understand and hear were you are coming from, i was in the same exact position last year and it is overwhelming aye

[Truffles]

I think it is very wise to postpone this surgery if you are not mentally ready for it.

It took me around a year of self-evaluation before I made the final decision. I had to grapple with self-doubt, defeat, self-loathing, and many other things regarding my obese state. I had to come to a good place in my mind first.

Over the last few years, I also worked on slowly changing what our family consumed. Because it was a slow change, and not sudden, it stuck. The "tool" part of the surgery for me is the part that helps me control my portion size (my downfall). All the rest had to come before, for me, in order for this surgery to be successful (again, for me).

You have it exactly right that this surgery is not magic. It is irreversible and lifelong. In recognizing that you are not ready, you are leaps ahead of many people. I feel proud on your behalf at your courage.

This isn't easy for you, I know, but I think you will be very successful if you continue to self-evaluate and work hard to make positive changes. Good luck!

[Truebody]

If you're not comfortable with this -stopping now is what you owe yourself. My dietitian outlined that on average patients take 2 years to explore WLS as an option, some at that time decide it is not for them. No it is not easy, it is a last resort I believe and a safety net. It remains that we have to watch our intake and exercise. The WLS doesn't turn us into leggy freaks who eat enormous amounts and stay thin - just doesn't happen.
All the best and look forward to seeing you around the site and hope that you get the info and guidance you seek.

[Scoobie61]

I think choosing surgery is a very personal decision. If you have or had any doubts then I agree that you are making the right decision for yourself. Good luck on your journey. As you said the sleeve or any gastric surgery is only a TOOL and as we all know we are the ultimate controller of what choices we make. I am very happy with my decision to have the surgery, but I also realize it's not the end of battling weight loss it's only the beginning.

[Barbi]

I completely understand your situation. I was very enthusiaty with the idea to do the Sleeve, but in the long run you will gaine the weight back. My Dr told me if I'm doing the surgery, to do the gastric -bypass, and you still gain weight back after 2 yrs. But the bypass you only gain 20 % back, and you can lose it fast if you go back you the protein shakes, small portion. For me I need the bypass I have to many health issue and I'm not young. If you decide to go for a diet, try Weight Watcher is the most safe and teach how to eat. Best wishes in your journey

[ibcopperfire67]

For me, I am thankful that I have a surgeon who MADE me re train my brain before being sleeved. I spent 7 months pre op learning to eat healthy and to exercise and lost 40lbs before I was sleeved. I am ssssoooooo glad that I went through that first because needed to fix my eating habits before I could use my new tool The decision to go ahead with surgery was easy after I lost that initial weight because I knew I could anything I set my mind too. And now I have lost 50 lbs since Jan combined with pre weight loss makes 90 lbs gone forever if I can help it!!! Everyone is different and makes choices best for them so stand behind your choice and I wish you great success

[Its_Me]

You are very wise to recognize the surgery isn't for you at this time. I wish you all the best on your journey.

[Socaldixiegal]

I wish more people took the time you are to really research and self-examine. I learned with the lap-band that WLS isnt' magic. It's still work and choice of what to eat is still up to me. Course, the band was a tool that didn't work . . .kinda like using a screwdriver to reroof a house.

WLS only helps how much you can eat - - what you eat is up to you. I know of several bypass patients who years later are just as big as they were pre-surgery. Stomachs stretched back out and they never changed their lifestyle. It was viewed as just a temporary "diet" to lose weight and then they were back where they started.

From everything I've read, overtime with VSG portions do increase so it's important to choose the right things. And, VSG doesn't stop grazing. If people are simply big portion eaters versus constant grazers they'll likely have more success (that holds with any WLS).

I actually found several videos on youtube of people who were several years out - it took some digging but there are some out there. And, everything I saw made me feel very positive.

Good luck to you!

Oh - and one thing I also did was go to some of the bypass support forums and see if there were folks revising from sleeve to duodonal switch or bypass.

[GA400]

Ruby,

Good for you for making the choice that YOU are comfortable with. Your body, your choice, your journey. My journey to the sleeve was about a 3 year journey, with other diets and methods tried on the the way, including some other methods with excellent track records - they just weren't working for me. My lipid numbers and blood pressure finally tipped me over to the sleeve, they were accelerating no matter what I tried or how many medications I was on, then my blood sugar took off like a rocket in the 18 months up to my surgery. They are all within limits or 5% of limits now, only 4 months after surgery.

Rich

[Mermaidmb]

It's not the easy way out as most people will accuse us that have had the sleeve of taking,I can say it is the hardest thing I have ever done and I was not fully prepared for it. But I can say I'm happy even when I feel miserable or nauseous as I've lost almost 50 pounds in 3 months and am off all my diabetes meds since about 3 weeks ago and I was taking such high amount that insulin would have been the next step and I couldn't handle having to do shots like that. The surgery will always be available to you when you do decide you're ready. Good luck in your dieting efforts and hope you can make the changes needed without surgery.