Finding my inner diva - Grace's journey

[Grace]

Saw PT yesterday and the sadist made me walk on a treadmill to get my heart rate up. My knees and feet hurt so badly today I want to cry. They had a big mirror in the room and I saw myself sitting sideways and was horrified. The old me would have locked myself in the house and eaten more out of depression but it just motivated me to want to see something else, someone stronger when I go a year from now.
Have lost 10 lbs of the 20 I must lose to be set up to see the doc.
Psych next week. That makes me the most nervous, like a job interview.

[Grace]

1st psych visit tomorrow. I only have to show up 15 min early so I don't think there will be a long test unless he sends me home with it.
It's a 1 hr visit and then 5 weekly evening groups for "behavior modification" (sounds very Orwellian).
Decided it will serve me best to simply be honest and true to who I am. If for some reason he feels I'm not ready for this, it's better I know...
but I can't help feeling a bit nervous.

[ILgal]

My psych test was interesting. They took a history of my life going back to childhood and up to present. Had to answer several work sheets about my relationship with food and things in my life that were emotionally challenging. Then had to answer a test with roughly 600 true/false quetions where you had to color in the circles like tests in grade school. My last visit I went in and she read the report together with me that would be going to the surgeon clearing me for the surgery. She did say it may be best for me to continue some type of therapy such as support group after surgery. I took it to heart and actually attended the monthly support group locally here and it was very helpful. Surgery not scheduled yet, but I want to do this the right way and not half way! Good luck to you!

[Grace]

So, psych was a breeze. Talked a bit about my background, eating habits. I have a 75 question "test" that he says will have no bearing on my case beyond helping me see where my weaknesses are concerning food. Whew, one more goalpost jumped over.

[newjoanie]

I am a week out and was in the hospital from Tues-Fri. Once I got home I was pretty able to do for myself. My hubby has been helping me in and out of bed but I think that is mostly osteoarthritis not the surgery. I went to the doctor today and did well but again my hubby drove. I think I could drive now although I think they told me no driving for two weeks. However two hours each way might be a bit stressful. I vote for giving it at least two weeks.

[Grace]

Joan, thanks so much for letting me know your progress and experience. I think they say 3 or 4 days in hosp. Costs me the same either way, so whatever they want I guess.
Odd question- when in hosp, did you bring your own nightclothes? My handbook says to bring a short robe but nothing about pajamas. And then it says on the 2nd day I can most likely be in my own clothes, I presume nightclothes, like a loose nightgown?
I'm so stuck on details
Thanks again for the update and I'm so glad to hear you are doing well!

[Grace]

Ok, getting there! In 6 weeks I'm down 17 of my required 20 lbs (thank you Weight Watchers). Have seen PT, dietician, and am starting pre-op testing. This feels like doing a college course, there is so much paperwork to keep track of! I've bought protein, clear and powder. I've got my vitamins, etc. I've tested shakes. Still pushing for end of August to fit in with help from my DSIL with my DMIL. Getting a physical today. One step at a time, right?
Thanks for being here. I have lots of support at home but it helps to have other people going through this to bounce off of.

[Grace]

So, it's weigh in day at the hospital. I have to be down 17 lbs to get an appt with the surgeon. According to my scale this AM I am down 18.5 so hopefully after all the testing is done tomorrow (upper GI, ultrasound, chest xray, open a vein for yet more blood)... I'll get an appt next week. Starting the support group meetings next week. There's the group on Monday, and the 5 wk program starts Wed evening. Wish they'd let us go all in one day like some other places. Still pushing like crazy for surgery at the end of August. Psych says I may be able to skip the last one and go after my surgery so I'm hoping for that. I hate being trapped into some certain time but between needing SIL to be here for MIL and hubby's company changing insurances like socks, and their contract coming due on Oct 1, this is really important. I can do this the end of Sept but I'm worried if the insurance changes while I'm still in the hospital it will be a big, big mess....so onward I push.
A good thing - with nearly 20 lbs off I can already move a bit easier. Clothes seem to fit the same but then at this size they are all kind of shapeless anyway. Oh, and you know I'm dedicated when I am using my birthday tomorrow to have barium tests..ugh.

[Grace]

Okay, I did it I lost the 20 lbs I had to lose to see the doc for the first time. They think I'll be on schedule for end of August. It seems silly to be so excited about 20 lbs when so many here have lost over 100 but for me it's a miracle. I'm on the way

[Kaye]

It is not silly to be excited about losing weight. I think it is wonderful. It means you are committed to a new lifestyle. And, like you said, you are on your way.

[Grace]

Feeling nervous, excited and ready.
Need to just repack my bag and write up the affirmations the doc and anesthesiologist will say to me while I'm going under and coming up out of my little sleep. It's been proven that the mind hears these like under hypnosis and if they say nice things like : Your stomach will feel comfortable. You will not have pain from the drain. Things have gone very well and you will succeed in your weight loss goal. You will feel peaceful about this decision.. etc.. it works. It's part of the program up here if I chose to take part, and I did. I will also listen to relaxation and guided imagery tracks before and during surgery along with some of my favorite calm music mixed in on a cd I burned, wearing headphones during the procedure. I chose Enya's Watermark and Pacific Suite by Dan Gibson.
They also offer free Reiki and massage after surgery each day I am in the hospital. I signed up for both. I find natural therapies very helpful.
I need to be at the hospital Monday AM at 6 which means I leave home about 4:30. Surgery is at 7:30 AM.
It's really happening

[Dee Leshuz]

Yay! Surgery at 7:30 is a really good time, too. Nothing worse than sitting around all day, waiting.

[lynnden]

Nina, I'm really excited for you.
I really like the idea of guided imagrey, relaxation tapes etc.
Keep us posted.

[Dee Leshuz]

I'm excited, too! It's like a party w/out booze or cake, but better!

[Grace]

Well I did it! I am in Sleeveland. I'm still hurting pretty badly, and can't get much down. Need to walk more this evening to help with the infamous gas.
May go home tomorrow as things are looking good. Want to thank you all for your support the last few days. I'll tell you all about it when I'm home and more awake....