Great article should you choose to read it

[Grace]

http://shine.yahoo.com/healthy-living/losing-180-pounds-really-does-body-8212-160-163900419.html?fb_action_ids=10152704345270305&fb_ action_types=news.reads&fb_source=other_multiline& action_object_map={%2210152704345270305%22%3A14570 9428931584}&action_type_map={%2210152704345270305% 22%3A%22news .reads%22}&action_ref_map=[]

With thanks to the author!

Oh, and do yourself a favor and skip the comments section. Most of them are cruel.
This is why, even though I've been asked several times, I will not do an open blog online.
I'm way too sensitive. But the book is coming along.

[luke]

I like the book. It doesn't offer any answers but it makes you think and draw your own conclusions about how you want to think/act.

[Honey Bee]

I read this yesterday and honestly I couldn't relate to her point of view.

[leesooim]

I've been debating on picking up this woman's book. I can completely understand her point of view even though I don't share it completely. I can relate though, because while I am physically healthier, I still have plenty of body images and whatnot to continue dealing with. Getting the weight off was the "easy" part. The head stuff, however, can last a lifetime, whether you have a good therapist or not.

[minxie]

I read this yesterday and honestly I couldn't relate to her point of view.

I completely agree. I don't have anger. I have gratitude. I don't have that confusion, nor did I have the embarrassment at being fat to the point of expecting people to be horrified. (Maybe I was in denial) I also am choosing happiness, and always have. I am actively working on my head issues, forgiving myself and my folks for a screwed up childhood. My life is wonderful (not perfect) but I'm good with what I've got. And, thanks to my sleeve, it's getting better by the day.

[Maia0628]

Thanks Grace for sharing this. It is always good to see the point of views of others. I can't relate to her at all as far as surgery expectations. I am personally to this to be healthy not skinny. The surgery is a tool to help us enhance our physical lives, it can't save us from the mental portion of our lives. That is a separate journey. Also many of us know the sleeve can't to it all we have to do our part, seems like she lost weight no matter what she did. From what I read here that isn't always the case. It is good to read this type of thing to put our own motives and objectives in check.

The article didn't reference what type of procedure she had did it?

[5DogMa]

Awesome! Thanks for posting this. Everyone should read this before WLS. It's all a head game! WLS may have fixed your stomach, but it didn't fix your head. Losing the weight was the easy part.

[5DogMa]

You'll get it much later on down the road. Losing the weight is the easy part.

[compact]

I liked the article, it articulates fears I had going into the surgery very well. After a lifetime as a strong fat woman, full of vitality and presence, would I be a diminished version of myself when I am smaller? Would people still take me as seriously as a little person? There were strengths and benefits to being bigger for me -- that's why I was bigger.
Jen's writing articulates some of the reservations I have about younger people having the surgery. I learned a lot from being a fat person and don't regret that learning and I'm not sure I would have been mature enough to cope with surgery in my twenties or thirties. I admire the way some of our young sleeve sisters and brothers work their way through it all here. Leesooim in particular comes to mind. Wise one before her time; but then I think a lot of us here are old souls.
Excited to hear that you are writing a book Grace! I'll buy it!
Have a cruisy day (my work day is just starting down under),
Nel

[carolynodien]

I feel bad for her, because she doesn't have inner peace. I hope she finds some soon. For me, I didn't relate at all, because all along the way I have been more and more grateful that I had the surgery...but I have always been an optimist...I think most of you who have seen my youtube vlogs would agree...nothing about my personality has changed, I just got thinner!

[Grace]

I have to say I relate.... a lot. Except for the getting too thin part and where she says you can lose as much as you want...well not everyone can.
My personal struggle has been to go through this and not even get to what I thought was a high goal...and on top of it to dislike the actual look and shape of my body much more now than I ever did at 335. I failed on both counts... Struggling with this. I have a therapist, we're working on it but in the long run it's looking like I have to just accept this was not the life changing surgery it may well be for 80% or more of the folks who get it. For me is was simply a tool to get over 100 lbs off my frame. Which, supposedly, is good for my health. Some days I understand it may be that is true for some things I don't foresee for the future...but most days...I think it's a load of crap and I'm really pissed at all the docs who so arrogantly promised me if I just lost 100 lbs I'd have a whole different kind of life, hardly any pain - be happy, blah,blah. I think this is where the author will probably end up someday as well, understanding it's something you try and hope it helps...but what people must understand is that this is not a cure-all. Sometimes it's not even a cure-some.
I wear a smaller size. I can buckle seat belts easier. I can fit in smaller chairs. Otherwise, except for the negative side effect I gained...this has not been any kind of real change for me. I'm glad I gave it a try...but I will not say it ended up being anything other than what it was. I lost some weight easier than I ever have before. That's about all.

I applaud the author for being honest and putting it out there. Too many people are having this surgery thinking it will fix their lives for them. It won't. I started with a good, solid marriage. I'm lucky. If it had been anything otherwise I don't think it would have survived this mess. At this point I'm considering the plastic surgery I said I'd never have because I don't think my marriage will make it without it and it's not because of him, at all, he loves and wants me. It's because of me. The confident sexy woman I was for all my adult life is now gone. So, after we get moved... I just may end up spending 10k of my Roth IRA to save my marriage and my self image. Intellectually, I understand it won't fix anything but my body...but at this point I think it might save my sanity.

Have a good weekend, folks. I'm really not trying to be a downer, not looking for sympathy, not judging.
But sometimes I get worried about the lofty goals some folks place on this surgery and I think it's important for them to know sometimes it can be important to work on the emotional stuff and not just get caught up in the high of losing weight.

[5DogMa]

You are so RIGHT ON Grace! So many of the newbee's are in love with their sleeves and some of the ones linned up to have surgery may have unrealistic expectations. I also agree that all the things the sleeve could help you achieve won't necessarily make you happy. I am happy about my health issues that have vanished thanks to the 80 lbs weight loss. I'm not happy with the amount of weight loss. I still need to lose another 25-30 lbs to be a normal BMI range and that I don't think is gonna happen.

You can fail with the sleeve just like you did all those other diets. You might not lose all the weight you wanted, you will still struggle with the head game you've always had with food. The sleeve doesn't make that go away. I thought like so many I'm sure that if the sleeve could control my hunger and it would control my portions I could win the fat battle.

I don't regret having the sleeve done one bit. It's worth a shot. However, long term weight loss means fixing your head and a total life style change. The honeymoon with the sleeve will end. You are still left with everything else you hoped the sleeve would fix and didn't. It's all IN YOUR HEAD!

[Msvetrn]

I feel bad for her, because she doesn't have inner peace. I hope she finds some soon. For me, I didn't relate at all, because all along the way I have been more and more grateful that I had the surgery...but I have always been an optimist...I think most of you who have seen my youtube vlogs would agree...nothing about my personality has changed, I just got thinner!

I am of the same opinion as you, Carolyn, however, I did not lose 180 pounds, so I'm sure it is different for someone who has. I may be vain or whatever, but even after only losing 80 pounds, I KNEW I had to have plastic surgery to further increase my self esteem. I can never understand why people claim they "would never" have their excess skin removed - like it is a mortal sin or something or an embarrassment. I, too,am grateful everyday for having the surgery. Maybe I didnt have as many issues as others before the surgery, I dont know. I do know that the issues I DID have prior to the surgery, I STILL have now...and they had/have nothing to do with me being fat or thin. I know I'm skipping around, but...the first 6 to 9 months after my sleeve, I wanted to shout it to the world-wanted to tell every overweight person I saw to have the sleeve!! But, over the last several months, I have changed that way of thinking because now, working for a plastic surgeon who specializes in WLS patients, I see what so may people have to deal with after a large weight loss and if they cannot afford to have these procedures performed, they now have a whole new set of issues.

[catheryn]

I agree with you when I read it I couldn't relate, did she see her head doctor before she had sleeve? I had to see the doctor before I was even allowed to have sleeve done,, what kind of surgeon did she have that didn't have her see a head doctor.

[leesooim]

I don't think seeing a "head doctor" even for a few appointments prior to surgery would completely or even partially absolve anyone's emotional and mental issues with weight and body image, especially if it's something they've been battling for the majority of their life. It sounds to me like the author of the article had some pretty severe emotional issues. Resolution of those types of issues for many takes years, and sometimes are never fully resolved -- the person eventually learns how to deal with it more positively, but it's not like they just wake up one day and have all their problems disappear.

I felt that the whole point of her article was realizing that losing nearly 200 pounds didn't magically fix everything in her head, which is not at all uncommon for people to experience after WLS. They believe being thin and looking good to others will be the answer to all the sadness, anger and frustration they've experienced from years of rejection and being ridiculed by society, only to discover that it wasn't ONLY about how they looked on the outside and outside factors that were at the root of how they felt -- that how they viewed themselves and the world around them actually counted more than what everyone else was saying. That's how I interpreted this article anyway.