Haters

[ggibson1038]

I have to say there are lots of people in my life who when they first heard about the surgery were very suportive and now are not so much. I hear "just eat less" or "just workout more". These folks have been sabotaging my ability to make a decision but I am pretty sure (if insurance is ok and tests all come up good) that I am going to go through with the surgery. I just don't understand, they are the same guys who have been telling me I need to do something about my weight for years.

Your stories and testimonials have really been key in helping me to make this decision whether you realize it or not

[DANA H]

Its always something. Just remain focused. You know in your heart what you need to do!

[jknox65]

Well your not doing it the way they think you should. Perhaps they ahve some control issues?

[DaleLanc]

They are ignorant. Seriously. I was, too, years ago. Ignorance means you don't know, lack of knowledge on the subject.

I just got off the phone w/my sis who did had the bypass surgery over five years ago. She had NO supporters in the family, including me. I was ignorant, darn it. We laugh about it now as she relives the early days w/me now.

[pack89]

For most of us, LOSING WEIGHT is not the problem, it's KEEPING IT LOST! LOL Unless someone has been seriously overweight themselves, they could never truly understand our dilemma. If it was just a matter of "eat less, move more" do you really think that there would be millions of over-weight people? Weight-loss "solutions" are a multi-billion dollar industry! Why? Because long term, 95% of them don't work. Once we have been "obese", our bodies change and even after, or if, we lose weight, to keep it off, our bodies require about 20% less calories than someone who's never been over-weight. The MAJOR problem with that? HUNGER!! We have to eat so much less, but the hunger wins out, and when it does, most of the time it ends up being junk food. Soooo...it's a losing battle. That's where the sleeve comes in!! It allows us to be happy and full with so much less. Yes it's possible to eat around the sleeve, but if you are truly determined to lose it so it stays lost, this seems be the best tool for the job.

As for the haters, there will always be people out there that don't want you to succeed, at anything, even if this is for your health. Just stress to them the importance your health is, for you to live a long healthy life. You are doing this for you, no one else has to live with your weight or any health problems you may have, so they should truly not matter when it comes to your decision.

[niamh]

Fuck 'em, it's not their struggle so their opinion doesn't have to count. I don't think it's necessarily people sabotaging - sometimes it's just people who don't understand that the 'eat less, move more' philosophy just doesn't work for some of us. I didn't ask my father's opinion because I know he would have tried to dissuade me primarily out of fear (he is VERY anxious about any health procedures), just informed him a couple of days before surgery and have reassured him since.

Glad that being here has helped you keep your resolve. We'll be your cheer squad!

[Brenda2012]

My best friend stop talking to me and she blames it in her pregnancy. All I remember she said was that I would be skinny and she would be fat bc of the pregnancy. :/ weird but you do what's best for you!

[RN98neuro]

I am on the process of getting things completed so I can proceed with the sleeve. I have been very selective of who knows my business for the same reason there are so many people out there that think "you are fine the way your are" or "just go on a diet, I will help you". I have heard this before when I have gone on an unsuccessful diet. I have overweight friends that also say this as I have been on the weight loss journey all my life. My friends are my friends, but as far as they are concerned I have to have an outpatient surgery. After I lose the weight then I may acknowledge to them, but I may not.

Hang in there and keep your chin high you know what is best for YOUR body and YOUR health. Good luck

[Just Jean]

"I had hoped that you would be supportive of my decision. This is something I need to do for my health. Would you like more information about my WLS? (this may help) I hope this difference in opinion doesn't come between us or affect our friendship." or something similar might help

[inspired4success]

My husband tells me everyday that I'm taking "the easy way out"! This couldn't be farther from the truth! I've struggled with my weight my entire life and so has most of my family. We truly have poor genetics and slow metabolisms, and his family is the polar opposite. I watched my mother and grandmother depress over their weights and I made a choice not to. I never let my weight hold me back... I wore what I wanted, was and am very social, played many sports including cheerleading, and wore bathing suits in public. I've always been a confident person, but every activity I've done has been more difficult for me because of my weight.The rest of my family has been supportive, as 14 of them have had bariatric surgery. I'm so done working my ass off at the gym and starving myself to lose and maintain my weight... That's no quality of life. I'm not a big eater, I never have been. I just have poor genetic makeup and unless people have the same struggle, they will never understand.

[jlovetro]

In my opinion its JEALOUSY..... Iwould advise you not to say to much to anyone until all is said and done...thats what I am doing not saying to much to anyone about it especially the ones whom found your weight to be an issue, Shame on them Good Luck and stay positive

[Its_Me]

Out of curiosity are they themselves overweight? I ask this because sometimes (and I am seeing a little bit of this now w/one of my friends) things will change because food is no longer the focus of our interactions. Prior to my surgery, my friend and I would go out to lunch or dinner, eat unhealthy big portions, split dessert, etc. When you are no longer able to eat as much and your priority shifts to becomming healthy and making better choices for your body, it kind of takes away what you and your friend have/had in common.

I was going to say "food for thought" when I realized that probably doesn't sound right here!

[hope4me]

How about those hater...Hummm. well you go ahead and do what you have to do for yourself. we are your friends and we are here for you.

[MomMaestra]

I'm not sleeved yet, but "easy" is not what I'm seeing on this site. It is truly impossible for a thin, high metabolism person to understand the enormity (pardon the pun) of being fat. And its not possible to explain it... it's like water that gets into the smallest crack...it is pervasive in our thoughts, movements, plans for the future, where we go and don't go, how we get out of things or situations, "pat" answers, "innocent" proclamations... everything. It is a subculture all its own and outsiders looking in just don't understand. Forgive your husband, find something about him to admire, and tell him about it. I hope he comes around for you.

[Truebody]

Wow - what a terrific thread.
Much of what I think has kind of been said, but the thing that strikes me is that every person - fat or thin - has things that they want to achieve that are seemingly unobtainable. Your decision is about you standing up and saying that you are not happy with the status quo and you are going to take a step to make a change. This change has a ripple effect and others will be impacted regardless of their support for you or not. It's you and facing your demons that is the change and that is what is confronting to others.
I agree about those who are not fat and have not had to endure the battle every damned day of their life - either we're dieting and placing limits on our life or feeling guilty because we are not actively dieting - the weight battle is all pervading and ultimately exhausting and if you don't battle daily with your weight you have no friggin' idea.
I have a thin person at the office sitting behind me who stuffs her mouth with sugary sweets everyday and then bangs on about so long as your happy then there is no need to restrict yourself - well she is thin and able to eat that junk without effect. Aint that super for her. I answered her 'life is too short to not have a chocolate or two when you want it" with LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO BE FAT.