Telling coworkers?

[wants2shrink]

I'm in the first stages, having a scope next month and surgery in June hopefully, and my coworkers are starting to ask questions about all of the doctor's appointments that I have been going to (I have Highmark BCBS so I have to document 7 months of appts). Should I go ahead and tell them about it or try to keep it under my hat until it goes down? I'm a guy and most of my coworkers are also, and men are usually not the most supportive people to each other. It's constantly "busting balls" like the Sopranos here, so I just wonder what it was like when you told your coworkers. Thanks

[manda0785]

Well I'm a chick so I don't know if it would be the same since you're a guy but I'm scheduled for sugery in March and Ive only told 1 person in my office. Of course she is a girl too but she has acutally had the gastric bypass so I knew she would kind of understand what I'm about to go through. When I told her she was very supportive and just asked lots of questions. I plan on telling my boss and a few other supervisors at my work closer to time and they are all guys. I am just afraid of what their reaction will be when I let the cat out of the bag so to speak. But either way if they are cool with it great if they are not then oh well they can kiss it. If they like busting your balls then let them. They will all feel like idiots when your coming in losing weight and looking good. Keep your head up there is nothing to be ashamed of. Goodluck...

[Wandy44]

I am 9 months out and let me tell you. I HAVE NEVER kept it a secret. Its your choice. I think it is up to the person. People are not stupid. You have had a weight problem all your life and by a miracle you are SKINNY ,,LOL I tell every one and I AM SO PROUD OF what I am today. Nothing to hide. But I have come across to so many people on this page. PLEASE lets keep it low. I have a few on my FB page ..They ask me not to write on there walls about the sleeve. Well I post every week on FB and other pages about my journey and progress. WE ARE TO HELP OTHERS. I had NO one to help me.I did this all on my own and research. LETS HELP OTHERS that can benefit of what we have accomplished ..God Bless

[DizExhaled]

Thats your decision. You should never feel pressured to tell anyone, unless you want to. In my situation, I told my director I was having VSG surgery, but I told my immediate supervisor that I was having surgery. Not what type. There are a few people at my job who know, as I consider them friends. I choose to not tell them until I had surgery date. Since this had to go through the HR department so i had FMLA while I was out, there are some people who know, who I didnt tell, and would not have told. I'm pretty sure most of the office will know by the time i come back to work. But even if they dont, the bottom line is eventually people will notice that im losing weight. I made a decision that I wont lie about having the surgery, but I dont want to have any long drawn out conversations about it either. but a lot of that is based on the dynamics at my work place. but ultimately, you have to decide what you are comfortable with. best of luck to you!

[naturallycurious42]

I've decided to NOT TELL MY CO-WORKERS. Not only co-workers but some family, and church members also. My reason simply, I don't want their opinions sarcasms, or awkward stares. When I get ready to leave I will tell my director I'm having surgery and that's all. My insurance is under my husband's plan so they really don't have a vested interest in what "type" it is. My supervisor would surely tell my co-workers so, I'll ask her to let everyone know 2 days before I go out on my leave. I'll share at a later date and with those who truly want to 'KNOW'' and not just be "NOSEY"!

[wants2shrink]

naturallycurious42, that's what I am worried about: sarcasms. I don't need anyone trying to bring me down while I am trying to pick myself up and sart really living my life.

[ShannaBanana]

I've only told a handful of people and my sisters and parents aren't one of them. They would try and stop me from going to Mexico. Then it would be a constant nag on how I'm doing and how my mom skinner than me. Etc.. My husbands not even supportive, he just laughs when I talk about it. He says i can't do it. He only weighs145. So I totally understand you wanting to be choosey.

[DizExhaled]

wants2shrink, if thats your concern and you dont have to tell them, dont. especially since youre probably right about how they will react, since you know them. thats what I was worried about when I started telling people. But it is what it is . i got to a point where no matter what anyone said, i knew I was having this surgery. i felt better about it at that point.

[Dixie]

My manager and my assistant both know I had surgery, just not what kind, and legally that cannot ask. Originally, I decided to tell only those closest to me. My daughter that lives nearby (and I see her almost daily), 2 other family members and my two best girlfriends. When I got to the girlfriends, one was supportive (still is) and one went off telling that she would help me lose weight, surgery was way too drastic, etc. she's a size 1. At that point, I decided not to tell anyone else until after surgery, and then, only on a need to know basis. I told my bros & sis's & inlaws at a family get together, after surgery, just before Christmas. The main reason is because my husband and I didn't want them to become concerned that I start suddenly losing weight after 30 years of being the fat one.

I have decided to tell my manager, assistant and a couple of other close co-workers when I return to work in January. I'll let them be the ones to say, when asked, "no she's not sick, she's just fine"....

Good luck with your decision. It's a personal one, and you'll know what's best for you as time goes by.

[MarieDJ]

I told my family, closest friends, boss and my staff which is fairly large (33) but asked them to not share my info, I am sure some have shared but they are like family. I do regret telling so many people some days, especially since everyone wants to know how much I have lost constantly and I tend to only lose in steps about once per month of about five pounds. Prior to consideration of WLS I was very active, working out 5-6 days a week and tracking my food on myfitnesspal so I now just talk about my efforts continuing those lifestyle changes. I probably wouldn't tell so many people if I could do it over.

[niamh]

I haven't told most people at work - when I'm at work I want to think about and focus on work, not talk about my weight loss. Of course people are starting to comment now that I'm 50lb down, but I just say "I'm eating less and doing some more exercise" and people see I'm drinking protein shakes, and that's about it. When my previous marriage broke down, I didn't talk about that much at work either. Funnily enough, I'm not a particularly reserved or private person, but to me work life and private life are quite separate. Most of the people I work with I don't socialise with outside of work and would never see them again if I left the job, so I have no desire to involve them in discussion about my personal life decisions. I do have some close friends I've made through work, and they know about the surgery, but we don't talk about it at work either. Too busy really!

[healedheart]

I am scheduled to have my surgery on January 24th and I have spoken to many people about my choice. If you start to lose weight rapidly, you can expect people to ask you how and what type of diet are you on. Plus most of the people I have known who had the sleeve have needed time for their stomach to settle down and function. That will raise more questions from those around you. Of course I've had those who have tried to discourage me. I am not ashamed of my choice and the fact that I am being able to have it. Hopefully my success will help someone else. Having said that, I know that men sometimes are not as likely to talk about body functions as women tend to! lol

[ivygreenery]

I told people at work and my family. I have not told facebook. My friends and family have commented on pictures posted that show my weight loss but no one has said "weight loss surgery" on Facebook. I haven't either. I'll cross that bridge when and if it occurs.

It is your private journey. You get to decide who to tell. My real friends are excited for me. Some of my larger friends are jealous, I can tell. But the point is, you get to decide.

[Scubagecko]

I haven't told any of my guy friends cause i don't need to go through the "Ball Busting" I figure I'll just tell them when I've lost a ton of weight when I might reveal it. In the mean time just say you're doctor is concerned about your health, considering your weight this will be easy to cover, re-assure them that it is nothing serious, make a joke about your doctors being more like a mom, or you can say you're doing it to keep your wife happy as she's worried about you, "You know how wives can be" you can say. Then add "I really need to start a diet to get my weight under control" then leave it at that. Your buddies will probably take the opportunity to jab you about your weight but if they're really typical men they'll leave it at that. the bigger problem will come after the sleeve when you have to give up beer. for a long time it's suggested you stay off alcohol altogether but beer, because of the carbonation, forever. I'm a single malt whiskey fan myself so an easy transference for me.

I've only told my family a couple of my good friends, that happen to be women, and my boss cause I trust him and could use his cover when I need to avoid the alcohol at the numerous company dinners etc...(I work and live in Asia and alcohol is a mainstay at any after work events)

I understand you're fears but you are doing what you need to do not just to lose weight but to regain your health and don't let any immature ribbing steer you away from that.

[Its_Me]

Of course it's your decision and a very personal one at that. I told not one single person at work.