Sad about the non-believers

[ksjayhawkmom]

I get that some of our family and friends won't agree with this surgery but it sucks that the ones closest to us don't!. My surgery is a week from tomorrow and I have had negativity from my two closest co-workers, I mean really I see them more than I see my own husband sometimes and one just walked away when I mentioned I hadn't had anything solid to eat in three days and the other out right told me she really thought my surgery was a bad idea.

They don't think I can follow through with not eating and with exercising. It makes me so sad that they don't have any faith in me. Why can't they believe I will do the work on the other side of the surgery just like I have this side of the surgery?

People under estimate me all the time.

[gettinthin]

Hang in there. I am getting a lot of the same as you. Plus on top of it all I am going to Mexico to have my surgery, so I am getting more grief over that than any thing else. Oh well, my choice, my life and I am not letting them discourage me. I am doing this for me, for my health and no one else. That's the kind of frame of mind I have had to use. Hope all goes well with your journey.

[cruzn2lose]

Do like I did....Don't tell another soul!! My Husband and My MIL were the only ones that knew....then when I showed up at my family's Memorial Day cookout with my 4 siblings, spouses and children, everyone was flabbergasted.....They had no idea and were so happy for me because they could see how much healthier I look! Nobody said a negative word!!

[Sunflower]

May I ask why you would tell people outside of those who absolutely need to know that you're having bariatric surgery? The majority of people know very little about it and are full of misconceptions. Only my mother and husband know,and I have spared myself a lot of negative comments and people gossiping about me. I learned my lesson the first time when I had the lap band. My bf just kept telling me about all the people she knows who had bypass surgery and died. That's like saying a woman shouldn't have natural childbirth because someone else died having a c-section. But her ignorance allowed her to treat these very different surgeries as if they were the same. People are ignorant and negative and you do not need this at a time when you're probably feeling vulnerable and emotional about your upcoming surgery. It's bit late now that you've told them, so my suggestion is that you don't discuss this with your coworkers again. You don't need to get an attitude or anything with them, just don't discuss any part of it with them because they have some agenda and would like to see you fail. When you get skinny, reach mini milestones and achieve NSVs, say nothing. Let them approach you and then down play it because you know what? At the end of the day the only person who really matters in all of this is YOU! You need to focus on yourself and not on others and what they think about you. Good luck!

[LMS]

If they are females could they be jealous?

[mallow]

People can be very dissapointing and it's a shame. I was also very selective about who I told and most people in my family still do not know because I knew they would react negatively. Still, you want to be able to share with SOMEONE because you are going through such exciting changes. I know my one friend who I told gets so sick of hearing about me talking about my weight or diet or what size clothes I am wearing now she often changes the subject while I am in mid sentence haha. My mother is the only other person that knows and she made some comment about how I am "stuck on myself now." I guess it's a fine line between being excited for yourself about your accomplishments and bragging about yourself and how others percieve you to be. Don't worry about the "debbie downers" at work, I think that is what this forum is mainly for so we can all encourage each other and support people who have been through or are going through the same things. Get your surgery and prove them wrong!

[ksjayhawkmom]

Thank you Shauna, I agree I will have to get tougher skin. I think I just can't believe these people say they are my friends but are discouraging me one week from my surgery!

I think you will do great going to Mexico, so many people have done it. Those people who say things to you haven't put in the time to research everything like you did, so they just don't know!

[ksjayhawkmom]

Congrats to you! I think it's too late, everyone already knows I just have to ignore them and go on. If i could do it over I wouldn't tell anyone but my husband.

[ksjayhawkmom]

No most of them are thinner already :-(

[sarahfinlay]

in same position and feel like saying to hell with u all...im doin it...so fuck u....sorry to swear but really got upset today with the negativity....have a good day...Sarah

[ksjayhawkmom]

Thank you all for your support. I think this is exactly why this website was made. Too many people want to give you negatives but this is a positive and should be treated as such. I told too many people because I was excited and wanted to share it with the world but if I could go back and do it over I wouldn't tell anyone but my sweet husband. He is so supportive and loving.

You were all correct in that I should ignore them and move on. Just live my life for me and enjoy my success at weight control. I have a big job ahead of me and I need to keep my thoughts positive and my will strong. In the end they will know -what I know now I can do this and it will be great!

[ksjayhawkmom]

Thank you Sarah and I agree. They don't deserve to know or be a part of your decision. Either get on board and like it and support me or shut up and leave me alone.

Don't let them get you down!

[sarahfinlay]

mY FATHER JUST TOLD ME iM WEAK WILLED AND NOT SETTING A GOOD EXAMPLE TO MY TEENAGE DAUGHTERS, FLYING FROM LONDON TO MEXICO...IVE JUST HAD ENUF..ACTUALLY IN BED NOW SOBBING...HUSBAND NOT TALKING TO ME EITHER....JUST HAD ENOUGH

[sarahfinlay]

C u there xxxxxxxxxxxxx am getting real nervous xx