Dear Cindy,
In my opinion there are jerk guys and jerk girls all over the place. A guy that dates heavy women can be a jerk for other reason as much as a guy that dates heavy ones. Finding a decent man or woman is not easy. Also, what is decent for you is not for me and viceversa. It is hard for everyone to find the right person. However more you are fine with yourself, more the chances. More you know yourself and your priorities more the chances.
Long long time ago I was engaged to a wonderful man, along the way (it was a long one, 7 years) we fell off the tracks and he fell in love with my friend. Such a cliche'! Was he a jerk? maybe. Were we in love? not anymore. After that I was a difficult women to date (and of course it was never my faulr )). Bitter, commitment issues, getting involved with all red flags guys. Despite being younger and prettier I was so far to be in decent realtionships. However took me years of bad dating, and only when I worked on my issues, I start to have good quality dating. I am not that young and that pretty, I am even heavier but years later I started had nice relationships, still did not find the right one, but nice man. Now I am dating a wonderful guy, he is wonderful, he dated skinny, fat, tall short black and white women in the past. As I did. We are so good together right now. Is he the one? I do not know, I only know that we do have the same concept of "decent", we love spending time together, we love our independence and we do not impose anything one to an other, we need the same amount of space. I love his mind, I love his face, body lips. We are looking at the same direction. I am so happy to have met him. So maybe yes I could have found the one, but I am not asking this question anymore. I am simply enjoying my relationship. I am an healthy person (meaning free of my old relationship issues, baggages, open wounds etc.) and I have an healthy relationship (that makes me fell good every step of the way).
In summary, what I am trying to say is that we are all different, but at the same time there are right people for each and one of us. However, if we do not work on ourselves we are not able to see them. I am not implying anything here of course. But I know what I have at the bottom of my heart, my insecurities, my issues, and I know myself today better than years ago. I worked on my self and I did it because years ago I crushed in an "burnt out phase" caused by too much work and too many impossible expectations on myself. I needed help to get out of there and I out reached. Idid start to work on me and now I am healthier and going to be super healthy when my obesity will be defeated.
I wish you all the best with your weight loss and you soul mate search
Barbara
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