Lots of questions - Sleeve surgery on December 2, 2013

[dwhalen]

Hi Everyone, My name is Diane. I have been overweight since I was 2 years old - I am 53 years old now. I weigh 228 pounds now at 5 foot 3.5 inches. I have been through three different programs because I had trouble with my insurance company approving at Mayo Clinic, (which is in my backyard) then I was told I could go to a place 90 miles away, I was pre-approved, but when they went to schedule the surgery, the insurance company said that they were not on the approved list. So now I am someplace on the approved list. So, I have had three different dietitians. I am having the sleeve on December 2nd. I met with the dietitian yesterday about post- op eating. First of all I started to freak out because she told me my goal weight was 120 pounds. I can't imagine weighing the much and I have also been told that it is difficult to lose all of the weight you need to lose with a sleeve. I was totally happy with a healthy weight of 150 or 145 pounds or even 135. But now I have this new goal in my head that seems unachievable and actually not a healthy weight. The dietitian, I am sure means well, but she is probably 98 pound weight but to me she doesn't look healthy - she is too thin. Anyway, she told me basically that for the rest of my life that I could only eat 1 cup of food per meal or 1000 calories a day. I know that the sleeve is a tool and that the rest is up to me, but I guess I didn't realize that I would never be able to eat more than 1 slice of pizza, or that I would never be able to eat a Thanksgiving meal that include a small piece of pie. The dietitian should me the model food which included two ounces of meat - 1/4 cup of broccoli and three tablespoons of potatoes - and said, look, this is a lot of food - again, I am more than willing to do the work but I guess I missed the part where I will never, eat a regular meal again. I can deal with my limits, but I feel guilty that I am also asking my husband to change his lifestyle. We have six kids and now that they are gone, we enjoy going out to eat. Again, I don't mind the restrictions on how much I can eat, but I think that he will think it is stupid/silly to go out if I can only eat a cup of food and then he will be miserable because he enjoys - crab legs or a fish fry etc. I worry that it is not fair - he told me not to worry about him. But I do, any advice. I am also wondering how people who have had gastric sleeve every gain their weight back if they are so restricted on how much they can eat. Also, if we are restricted to 1000, how do we continue to lose weight - doesn't the body adjust to it and soon we reach a plateau? Thanks.

[LisaNunu]

A lot of your questions I will let people answer that have been sleeved a lot longer than me - but as far as going out to eat - I enjoy it! I either share with someone or order a childs plate or just enjoy my left overs the next day!

[Lisacmline]

I never reply to posts but this time I had to. I had my sleeve on May 21st, 2013. My insurance would not cover it and I was so unhealthy at 225 pounds
(5'7"). I had high blood pressure, high cholesterol, my liver was close to sirosis because of fatty food not alcohol. I worked out but felt like a sinking ship. The last straw was when my doctor told me no more treadmill or running because he discovered 4 herniated discs in my back. I felt so stuck. Then I learned about surgery in Mexico. My sleeve was only $4,750 here... in the states I would have paid $25,000+
I did much research and thought I was fully prepared but I don't think you can ever really be prepared because everyone goes through different feelings. I DID have some remorse as to not being able to eat "normal" ever again. But honestly I can now eat whatever I want (just in very small portions) for thanksgiving I plan on eating pie (I will just have to do it an hour or so after I eat and then only take two-three bites.) Why do we think we need to eat those huge portions anyway? I'm still very satisfied in my eating and I'm even more satisfied in the way I look in jeans! LOL I went from a size 18/20 to a size 5/6 in 6 months! I have surpassed my goal of 150 pounds and I'm at 145 now and where I will probably stay (my gastro said that is my ideal weight.) I have since mentored 2 other gals through their Mexico experience. One was great, one not so great. If you need help or want to talk emailing me is best as I don't get on the forum much anymore. Lisacmline@aol.com
Warmly,

Lisa

[Annie4]

Hi Diane, our situation is almost identical, including our before weight, our closeness is age, and our children all being grown now. I am about 3 weeks post-op and I am so thrilled with my results. I too worried about my husband sacrificing due to my wanting surgery and all that would go along with this change in lifestyle. First I had to think long-term and what this surgery was going to mean for me. I have 4 sons and I promise you I have devoted my life to my husband and my boys, while all along neglecting myself thus my being overweight. So for once in my life I really made this decision for me and I found that my husband along with my boys have been very supportive. I will do my best to never let this decision prevent my family from enjoying the lifestyle that we are accustomed to, which most of the time includes cook-out and great meals. I have several friends that have been sleeved and they say you will learn to "graze" instead of consuming a meal as we did before. So I think I can live with nibbling on a little bit of this and that at a somewhat slower pace. I believe we will enjoy our food just as much but just in smaller, much smaller lol amounts. Remember, you can have approx. 1-2 oz every 15 minutes starting out. I believe you will do just fine and you will make the adjustment as needed. As far as the goal your dietician set, yet I agree that is low and remember, that's on paper. I'm 5'4" and mine is set at 135-140. But my personal goal is 145-150. At 48 I believe for me that is more realistic. I can't imagine how anyone could gain the weight back once being sleeved, but all I do know is I don't intend to be one of those people. I wish you the very best and remember, I have never met or read about 1 person that regretted having the surgery so just concentrate on the new life that's ahead of you and you will be fine. Best of luck to you and keep in touch!

[megameter]

The sleeve will change your relationship with food. No doubt about it. That said, I remember how scary it was when my dietician showed me the amount of food that I would be expected to eat after surgery. It didn't seem like nearly enough.

Now that I am sleeved, granted only for a month, I look at food differently. Your stomach is TINY. I have trouble finishing an entire egg, let alone toast, bacon and potatoes and before I considered that a decent sized breakfast. But I don't miss it.

Before surgery, I used to read about people saying they don't miss the eating because they weren't hungry and I would think to myself that they were some strange breed of aliens that I wasn't and that was why this worked for them. But post-sleeve, I am now a strange alien that isn't terribly hungry and doesn't mind sitting and watching my husband finish his pasta while I don't have anything because my one scrambled egg has me feeling overly full.

Over time you will be able to eat more than when you first get out of surgery. But it will never be as much as you could eat before the surgery.

As far as your worry about not being able to eat with your husband. Most of the things my husband enjoys (in moderation now since he also is trying to lose some weight) I WILL be able to eat. Just a few bites though. And really, isn't it always the first few bites of a food that taste the best?

I am already planning thanksgiving dinner. I will be on soft foods so should actually be able to eat a little bit of everything. 2 bite turkey, 2 bites mashed potato, 2 bites stuffing. We are eating earlier in the day, so that we can hold off on dessert for an hour or 2 and that way I can have a little bit of pie. I even found a high=protein pumpkin custard so that I feel like I can indulge without missing my protein.

When I move onto regular foods, m husband and I have plans in place on how to handle restaurants. Our favorite place to go for our anniversary is ruth chris steak house (its too expensive to go to any other time). 9oz steaks, 1 pound potato, it is the ultimate WAY too much food restaurant.

So I will order the 6 oz steak and take half of it home (it reheats really well). And instead of each of us getting a baked potato, my husband will order one and I'll have a few bites of it. It is still doable, it is still enjoyable. It is just different.

[megameter]

Another way of looking at it... did you ever go out to eat with one of those super skinny friends who would order off the appetizer menu and not be able to finish. And you would look at her and think... "I could never survive on so little food."

She survived on so little food because her stomach was smaller! So she actually got filled up on less food. And she still enjoyed it. She still had fun going out to eat.

Someday... you will BE that girl. And friends and co-workers who never knew the "before" you will think to themselves how "easy" it is for you to be skinny because you eat so little food.

[LizzieSydney]

I think it's pretty accurate some of what you have there. I can eat one peice of pizza, sometimes another half slice if I wait a little bit in between. A couple ounces of meat and few spoons of veggies and maybe a bite or two of carb foods, is right about on for me and I will be 2 years out in Feb. I am at about 167 today and I was 292 at my highest... I was told 130-140 would be where I should be, but that's clinical terms, those figures are based on old life insurance tables. about 20% more than those figures are really what's considered heathly and maintainable. I am sometimes down at 163, but I really can't imagine being more than about 10-15 pounds less. I am already a little bony, but I think I am healthy and slim now and I don't worry about those other numbers. My doctor says how much more weight I loose is my choice and it will come down to a LOT more excercise. I think I eat a lot for a sleeve, but this week I have already done a 3 mile run and two 4 mile runs, and tonight will do another something run 3-4 miles... so that's about 15 miles in a week. If I cleaned up my eating a tad I would probably loose another 5 or so pounds, but my body is happy where its at now. This week coincidentally I am up a few pounds and I upped my activity this week, last week I was down at 164... but I have been eating too many sweets...it's hard to understand sometimes, but keep watching your intake, focus on health and being active and the rest will come with the sleeve. I think on the other side of the sleeve you will be amazed at how Little food you actually need compared to before sleeve. You will be in awe after the sleeve at how much people at, especially when you go out to eat... huge amounts of food and you will wonder how you ever ate that much, and then realize it was no wonder you were overweight.. at least that's what happended to me....

[kacie77]

Hi Everyone, My name is Diane. I have been overweight since I was 2 years old - I am 53 years old now. I weigh 228 pounds now at 5 foot 3.5 inches. I have been through three different programs because I had trouble with my insurance company approving at Mayo Clinic, (which is in my backyard) then I was told I could go to a place 90 miles away, I was pre-approved, but when they went to schedule the surgery, the insurance company said that they were not on the approved list. So now I am someplace on the approved list. So, I have had three different dietitians. I am having the sleeve on December 2nd. I met with the dietitian yesterday about post- op eating. First of all I started to freak out because she told me my goal weight was 120 pounds. I can't imagine weighing the much and I have also been told that it is difficult to lose all of the weight you need to lose with a sleeve. I was totally happy with a healthy weight of 150 or 145 pounds or even 135. But now I have this new goal in my head that seems unachievable and actually not a healthy weight. The dietitian, I am sure means well, but she is probably 98 pound weight but to me she doesn't look healthy - she is too thin. Anyway, she told me basically that for the rest of my life that I could only eat 1 cup of food per meal or 1000 calories a day. I know that the sleeve is a tool and that the rest is up to me, but I guess I didn't realize that I would never be able to eat more than 1 slice of pizza, or that I would never be able to eat a Thanksgiving meal that include a small piece of pie. The dietitian should me the model food which included two ounces of meat - 1/4 cup of broccoli and three tablespoons of potatoes - and said, look, this is a lot of food - again, I am more than willing to do the work but I guess I missed the part where I will never, eat a regular meal again. I can deal with my limits, but I feel guilty that I am also asking my husband to change his lifestyle. We have six kids and now that they are gone, we enjoy going out to eat. Again, I don't mind the restrictions on how much I can eat, but I think that he will think it is stupid/silly to go out if I can only eat a cup of food and then he will be miserable because he enjoys - crab legs or a fish fry etc. I worry that it is not fair - he told me not to worry about him. But I do, any advice. I am also wondering how people who have had gastric sleeve every gain their weight back if they are so restricted on how much they can eat. Also, if we are restricted to 1000, how do we continue to lose weight - doesn't the body adjust to it and soon we reach a plateau? Thanks.

Diane,

First of all wome to the forum...you came to the right place to ask all your questions. I will attempt to answer some of them

Stop freaking out..you have made the decision to live a new healthy lifestyle and that is soooooo great. I know that your RD probably gave you alot of information that scared you and freaked you out. Guess what, it's all the truth! You will never be able to eat more than one piece of pizza and you will never be able to tear up a buffet like you did in the past. The fact of the matter is that you ate yourself to 228 pounds and that extra piece of pizza and that extra piece of "tiny" pie, and those fish frys didn't do you any favors! You are addicted to food just like the rest of us! You will battle those demons your whole life.

Your husband and 6 kids should support you in your new life, your about to be a cheap date He is gonna have a new trophy wife and will be proud to show off his bride! Just think of all the new things yall will be able to do together. Food can not be your main event anymore! A nice walk together can be your new date....It's time to focus on yourself and enjoy the rest of your life as a healthy survivor! I love crab legs and fish frys just like you, I will just not dip my crabs in the butter. I will focus on the fellowship with friends instead of how many pieces of fish I can eat. And Thanksgiving dinner is way over rated!!! I just had the first dry run today at work and the pile of food I was given kinda grossed me out. I ate a few bites of turkey and the green beans. I left the rest on the plate. I did sneak some apples back to eat later

The main thing you will focus on after surgery is PROTEIN first.....

I am 80 days out after surgery, I am 36 years old and weighed 307 pounds (I''m 5'9") I was huge!! I am now 259 lbs. I told myself after I lost the first 25 lbs that I would start walking around the block..I did it! (Thru all the aches and pains)

I told myself that when I got to 50 lbs I would start going to the gym...I did it! (Started Monday and went all week (5 AM workout))...I even managed to get my walk in the evening as well.

You have to be very self aware and motivated to make this life change. I told myself I was sick of being fat and it's my time! I promised I would do it the right way. I don't drink cokes, I don't eat candy, I don't eat chips, I am trying)

Have I eaten unhealthy foods--of course! I had a chicken tender and 6 fries! I had a cupcake for my birthday!

The thing is I am not mad at myself for eating that, I just don't eat it everyday like before...

I used to be a sugar head, I loved Reeses, cakes, cookies, twizzlers, chocolate, pretty much anything terrible. I loved going to the seafood buffet and sitting there for 2 hours eating anything and everything! Now...I plan my meals! I bought the weight watchers cookbook and the healthy eating cookbook and plan! I ask my husband and daughters to pick something and we cook. I barely eat out anymore. I have managed to save about $100 more a week by not eating out for lunch and dinner. No more drive thrus!!! I love carrots, apples, bananas, broccoli, strawberries, black beans!! Never in my life would I ever thought I would be more excited to be off the couch and moving around.

Live with a purpose!

I can't wait to hear from you at the end of December to see how different your mind set is....Welcome to the group Don't forget to take your before picture!!!

[bikrchk]

Like others have said, the sleeve will completely change your relationship with food. I'm only about a month out, (on purees) and I can't believe how little I can eat. The first time I tried an egg, I couldn't get the whole thing down! Right now I'm getting between 600-800 calories\day, and 70-90g of protein. (Protein is really the thing I'm counting). I am plenty satisfied. I don't really feel hunger, though when I eat, I do enjoy the food.

I was also shocked by the goad weight my surgeon gave me... 130. I was thinking 140, (I'm 5'6). In the same breath, he told me that VSG patients are considered a "success" if they lose 60-70% of their goal. Okay, whatever, if you do that math, I'm going to end up pretty close to the place he was thinking, right?

As for feeling guilty about how much you're eating in relation to your husband, don't worry about it! You'll eat enough to be satisfied and either leave the rest behind, (our bodies are not a garbage disposal)! or have some great left overs for another day!

As far as "how do we continue to lose", I'm a recent sleeve, so I'll be interested to see what happens there. I'm more worried about how do our bodies know when to STOP losing on 1000 calories\day? I've been told that they do though, and that most folks end up gaining about 10 lbs from their lowest weight after surgery and stabilize around there. We shall see. All I can says is it's been an awesome ride so far and I'm excited for the future!

[dwhalen]

Thank you everyone for you quick response. I felt better even before you all sent your responses reading other peoples post - but all of you sealed the deal. I especially could relate to taking care of your family first and neglecting yourself. I was the one to prepare all the meals for holidays but since I have been diagnosed with Lupus and already had arthritis throughout my body and Fibromyalgia - I just couldn't do the work anymore. That is my main goal of losing weight is for my health - my looks will be a bonus. Right now I am so exhausted that it is difficult for me but I am hoping the weight loss will give me more energy and help me get more active. My doctor said weight loss will not cure my lupus or my Fibromyalgia but hopefully it will make things more tolerable. Thanks again for your feedback.

[Watch out world]

Diane,

I truely hope that you read what everyone has to say. I don't get sleeved until December 2nd but am ready NOW!!! Everything that these people have stated must be true because they have already completed the trip to the sleeve side. As far as going out with your husband, he will be fine, if and only if he supports what you are doing. My husband is in complete support and has even started drinking a protien shake every morning. So instead of just making one for myself, I make two and it keeps him our of McDonalds. Please just make sure that you are ready for the change!!

Take care!
Beth

[Lisacmline]

I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia years ago and most days it was a struggle just to get out of bed. I called in (my full time job) A LOT! but since I've lost all this weight (about 80 pounds) I feel like I can FLY! I have so much more energy, my moods are so much lighter, and very little to any Fibro pain! The sleeve was the BEST thing I've ever done FOR myself! I'm very glad I did it. It wasn't always easy but it was always WORTH it!

[rjacobs319]

I am so happy and excited to read all your post. I am getting sleeved November 25 and had the same questions and worries. This makes me feel ready for my new journey. Thanks again

[dwhalen]

Thank you Beth for your encouragement. My husband is supportive and I think I will try the protein shake for two idea. My husband works from home so he will always be here with me - and I know this is the right thing to do. I think that I started freaking out when the dietician said that my goal, or rather her goal was for me to get to 120 lbs. I guess it is possible, but it is not what I was thinking about - I was shooting for 150 or 145. So, when this 98 pound dietician starts telling me that 1 cup of food is a lot of food - and if I was my correct weight - I would only be eating 1200 to maintain my weight! Yikes - I know that she did not mean to make me feel bad, but it made me feel like such a "pig" I have eaten 1200 calories for breakfast, easily - so even though she wasn't meaning to judge me - it felt judgmental and I freaked out. I felt like a failure because I haven't been able to lose weight on my own or at least keep off the 20 pounds that I did lose from time to time. Then when looking at 120 lbs. as a goal - I felt like I would be setting up myself for failure if I didn't reach that 120 lb. goal. I am not so concerned about the numbers as I am about feeling healthy and less miserable. Thanks for letting me babble and thank you for your support. It will be nice to keep in touch since our surgery date is the same. I am ready. I wish I was doing it tomorrow.

[ThisIs4Me]

Welcome, good luck 2 u