Why did I even want this sleeve?

I know the main reasons to have the sleeve, better health, look much better, feel much better, etc. I have lost 50 pounds, have 15 to 20 pounds to goal. I really wonder why I had it done. I guess I feel that I've done this to be healthy so I can take care of everyone else, that's what it seems. I really can't put into words what I'm trying to say, so please bear with me and hopefully you will understand and maybe can offer some advice. I know other people have just as many and more problems than I do, but this is my problem and my thoughts. My reason is this: I am retired, I go no where, husband wants to go no where. We live on a farm that we are tied down to feeding cattle, mowing and baling hay, etc. These things have to be done in the right season, but even out of season we can't be gone very long at at time because cattle gets out of the fences or gates, fences break, mamas are having babies and sometimes have problems with them, I could go on and on. I have two elderly parents I am the only one able to help; my only sibling died four years ago. They are still able to get around and go most places by themselves, but I have to make doctor appointments and sometimes take them to their appointments, check their insurance problems, order their meds, pick up the meds, put meds in the little pill boxes, and take care of countless numbers of other things that they no longer understand. My husband is in stage 4 kidney disease and probably will be on dialysis within the next year. All I see in my life is bleakness, sadness and being only a care giver with nothing to look forward to. I really don't mind doing these things to help my family, that's my duty and I love my family. I know also, that this could be much worse. I suppose I'm thinking if I don't travel, why did I even have this done. No one sees me, except family. Anyway, that's kind of my story. I just wonder, why. I wish I could explain this better, but I can't. Thanks for reading, and thanks for any suggestions. I'm sorry if I depressed anyone. Barb

It sounds like you are dealing with a lot. I would say the primary reason you had the gastric sleeve was to look and feel better. Since you feel like you don’t have a reason to look good, then just focus on the feeling better part of it. Hopefully you are healthier now and will be around a lot longer. I hope that helps. I’m so sorry your husband is sick. Take care!

Anyone with that much going on, especially when they were going for a change (positive one), would be stressed and maybe a little depressed.

I used to live on a farm with cattle and horses; finding anyone reliable to help, especially with the horses, was a real issue and prevented a lot of travel (unless horses were going and honestly, taking 16 horses on the road....no).

Your daily schedule, along with caregiving, you must be exhausted. The VGS will help you with your help. And having a purpose, even it's a struggle some days, is so much healthier mentally than drifting as some "retired" folks do.

When my daughters all got into high school, I had to rethink our life -- what they wanted was WAY different than what I wanted growing up. Hard decision, but one I was fortunate to be able to make as at that time, my marriage ended on an unhappy & disturbing note. (Who knew how many "lady" friends a guy could have and still work (PM me for the answer, lol.)

SO CHANGES happen -- you are obviously a caring, vital part of your family whom you love. You are doing the right thing. You will have the health to get through all this, and when you continue, you're way will open up to you in ways you don't anticipate right now. Please, continue to do this for you.

You are worth it! And post on here; people "get" what's going on. You are cared about.

Yep, you sure have a lot going on in your life. I totally understand how you are feeling.
I too looked after my elderly parents (as well as working full time and trying to run my own household). I didn't realise how exhausting it was until I didn't have to do it anymore. We do these things because we love our family. I would love to have my parents back and well, but sometimes we need to do something for ourselves too.

If you and your hubby both can't leave the farm is there anyway that you could get away on your own or with a friend for a couple of days? Of even for a couple of hours to pamper yourself with a massage or facial, or a lunch somewhere nice...or whatever your "thing" is. Make it a regular date.

I really hope that you had the surgery for you! I hope that you are feeling healthier......and I really hope that you feel happier soon.

There are lots of us here that totally get where you are coming from and we do care about you.

Sending you lots of love from the other side of the world.

Kia Kaha (stay strong)
x

Your life certainly sounds crazy. But don't you think everything is easier at 50 pounds less? And don't you think your life may change over time? Any children to take over the farm? Hope things get better.

I was the sole caregiver for my mom until she passed. We didn't do much traveling at that time. Now we're all over the world. But having my mom back would be better than travel, I miss her so.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by BarbyK

I'm sorry if I depressed anyone. Barb

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Hi Barby,

Seems to me you are the one who's depressed and that has nothing to do with the sleeve but with your busy agenda and endless responsibilities. And also Winter is not helping...it's dark and cold outside and make us al feel blue in some extend.

I would say if you can't travel, you can still have some "me time" and focus on yourself each day, to do some yoga, have a facial or talk to a friend. It's important to find little pleasures in life, and now that you are lighter you can probably have more joy gardening or even going to a dance class?

I had almost a full year of really bad health issues, and besides trying therapy for 3 months (was not really doing anything, I got better after my second surgery when I could finally SLEEP) I got myself a lamp for light therapy, still use it in the morning, did get many nice oils and creams for self massage (does help my hand arthritis) and sometimes even if I was going nowhere because I was too sick, I would just dress up, wear make up and invite a friend for coffee. Spending months in my pajamas was also not good for my head....I knew that..

Our limitations, whatever they are, will try to kill our "joie de vivre". It's important for our balance to find positive things to do, whatever they are. Even if it's just reading poetry...

Today I had a session with my osteopath. She said I look so much better since I had my surgeries! I'm not out of the wood yet, still a few issues to deal with but self-care is a priority, and even if I see the osteopath once every 6 weeks, it's always the guaranty my pains will diminish after.
I hope you will be able to find a regimen to help you!

Take care!

Thank you for your response, I appreciate it.