Where do I start!

Hi there,

I used to frequent a forum a long time ago. I am desperate to get back some me time and I need a little reminder it’s all possible!

I was sleeved in early 2009. At the time I weighed 150 kg. In 11 months I lost 98kgs and like was perfect! I was fit, in size 8, and happy.

I met the man of my dreams soon after, and in 2011 we got married and decided to start a family. I was pleased I was going to be fit mumma. Someone my child could be proud of.

We fell pregnant immediately, with quadruplets! And 11 rapidly growing fibroids. I was hospitalised by 8 weeks and there I stayed, on my left side, until I reached 37 weeks.

I hadn’t gained much weight because it was an awful, painful, endlessly vomit worthy experience. I was still grateful. I ended up with 1 little girl at the end, having lost the rest.

I knew as soon as I got out of the hospital I was going to get back to it. Back to gym and everything.

I’m not making excuses now - I just need to get all this off my chest, put it somewhere so I can check in as just me, ready to restart.

When my little girl arrived we were thrilled. She was a tiny 2kgs and I still had 7 kgs worth of fibroid tumours inside my belly. I’d have them removed just as soon as I could.

Very quickly my baby got sick. We had no idea why. Everything I ate upset her tummy so I changed my diet and she was so high need all the time all efforts to go back to gym - and there were many I assure you, ended up with me being unable to leave her at some point for weeks on end. This carried in for two years. I could barely think of anything but getting by baby some help. Everything ‘me’ stopped and all my energy went into this precious little girl who was in so much pain she couldn’t sleep.

She was diagnosed with cancer at 2 years. I cannot even begin to tell you what the next number of years was like for us - me. I lost ‘me’ in it all, gained weigh at a rapid rate - and not because I was eating - in fact - the opposite. I was drinking. I was shattered, so so tired - I hadn’t slept in years. Coke became my vice. I didn’t care either - I didn’t even think - I just did it to survive. I still had my 7 kg tumour in my belly, a sick sick baby who my very existence depended on her surviving - and I was now fast returning to my old weight.

I’m pleased to say that she is in a stable state now and I do not fear it’s return anymore. Unfortunately she has developed an auto immune side effect which is extremely difficult to live with but we carry on and live our best life. I won’t be able to gym daily like I used to, it’s just not a possibility.

So now I’m here. I went out last night - I had a meal - I can still only eat roughly a cup and apart from severe reflux (80mgs of salpraz a day), and a dairy intolerance (which is good to be honest), I have no side effects. I am however, back to 125 kegs. It is like torture.

I need to fix this but I’ve lost all faith in my body and my sleeve and my own ability.

I had my surgery to remove my tumour in Feb this year, finally. Remaining pregnant with triplet size uterus for 7 years was beyond humiliating and impossible on many level but I could not leave her or spend 6 weeks unable to lift her. I had to wait. It’s a giant relief and my body is slowly healing.

So my question is this - my sleeve works - my head does not. I do not know where to start.

I just need some ideas on where to start with a sleeve.

I want a simple breakfast (dairy free) option, a simple lunch and an afternoon snack idea. I can do salad and fish at night and I can wing it on the weekend, but what calorie intake if I’m starting like it’s day 1, 10 year’s later.

I know I can do it, I just forgot how to put me 1st, 2nd, 3rd or anywhere.... I want me back because the weight gain is torture in every level.

My husband is still here but we met running so you can imagine I am a stranger to look at though he has never said anything but I think has given up on me getting back my health.

Where do I start - I don’t even know anymore....

Sorry if this sounds negative or excuse filled or like I’m a big whinger. It’s just what it is and now my baby girl is well - I want to enjoy my beautiful family...

Hellllppp

Writing this down, on a forum with people you don't know, takes a lot of courage!
Thank you so much for sharing your story and confiding in us.
Life has been very challenging for you and yet, here you are, taking charge of your life again and starting all over.
I think you are one amazing strong woman!
You did the best you could to survive and you did it!

Since you still have a great restriction, it is possible to go back to healthy eating.
Protein first, then veggies and if room some healthy carbs.

You don't eat diary at all, or just not for breakfast?
How about starting with a very filling green smoothie with a handful of baby spinach, banana, some other fruits like berries, and a scoop of protein powder?
Thinned with water?
That keeps me full almost the entire morning.

I think lunch and dinner are quite similar, some lean protein of your choice and veggies.
I like to stir fry my veggies and protein with some soy sauce or other tasty sauce.
How about egg roll in a bowl?
Lots of yummie recipes online.
Crack slaw with shrimp.
Burritos with refried beans and cheese with a side salad.
Or whole grain tortilla's with filled with chili, ground beef, cheese, the works.

Just some things that come to my mind, I am sure lots of ideas will follow here!

You can do this, just start NOW!
We'll be here cheering you on.

First of all, you are not negative or a big whiner, you have been through SO MUCH! I can imagine what you ate was the last thing on your mind. Thrilled to hear your sweet girl is in remission. Hope you can work out a little time for yourself now.

As far as meals, I think if you stick to the protein first, then veggies, then good carbs if room rule you will start to lose. Dig out your old sleeve information. You know all that stuff like take your vitamins, no drinking with meals, etc.

As far as exercise, could hubby watch the baby while you take a quick walk early in the morning? Or go to the gym, or whatever you like to do? You deserve some you time. Could you get a babysitter, or is that out of the question? Just a morning a week would feel good to be able to run errands on your own after your walk.

Then does your doctor know about the acid reflux? Can they help?

Hope everything works out. I was also sleeved long ago, gained some back, and lost it (this time with the help of Weight Watchers, but others here do what works for them.) Best of luck to you, you can do it! Won't be super easy, but it will be super worthwhile for your health and happiness!

Thank you for sharing yourself with us. You’ve been through a lot and the only way out is through. Now it’s time for you to take care of your precious little girl’s mom. Congratulations for recognizing what you need to do.

Back to basics...no drinking 30 minutes before and after you eat, drink 128 oz (or however much you can) water, protein first, veggies next, take 20-30 minutes to eat.

My menu daily:
2 eggs poached with 1 slice cheese

Smoothie with frozen berries, handful of spinach, fat free greek yogurt, fat free Fair Life or Cashew Milk

Tuna or chicken salad

Protein and veggies for dinner

Fat free cottage cheese with fruit

The above are easy, simple, no hassle. They’re my “go-to’s”, especially when we’re traveling (right now we’re working our way north through the mountains...on HD’s)

You’ve got this...we’re here cheering you on ;-)

So sorry to hear everything that you've been going through. You can do it. Get back on the horse. Will it be helpful to use any of the weight/fitness apps available? Like sraebaer, I've returned to Weight Watchers and its so helpful. Do you still have your sleeve "bible" that had all of the guidelines? Is it possible to reach out to your old bariatric team/nutritionist for support? Just remember, protein first and build your meals around that. Good luck to you and we are here to support in any way we can.

You are absolutely not a whinger!
Gosh you have been through so much.
Sharing your story here is a good start I think.

The others have stated the back to basics. Protein , then good veg, then good carbs if room.
I do a protein shake for breakfast most days which is not much good to you if you are dairy free. What about thinking outside the square. It doesn't have to be traditional breakfast foods that you have in the morning. What about leftovers from dinner, or chicken, fish, eggs (eggs are my go to at the weekend). I'm sure there is a non dairy protein out there that you could add to a smoothie as wanagl suggested.

If no-one is able to look after your daughter while you snatch some exercise time for yourself are you able to take her with you if you go for a walk? Pop her in a stroller or is she able to ride a tricycle or bicycle?

I'm sure if we all put our heads together we can help you get to where you want to be :-)

Hello!
You had many difficult years and now is time to focus on yourself:
- you should see a doctor about that reflux. 80 mg PPI per day is the highest dosage, you might have gastritis or other stomach issue. First get a good check up
- stay positive : if your food intake per meal is only one cup, you will be able to go back to a healthier weight, it will just take a few months, but no rush!
-no need to count calories. You can just follow what our friend said: protein first, then veggies
- avoid any kind of sugar or even artificial sweetener. You need to keep your glycemia stable, so eating the right things will help. Going low carb is the easier way. Protein (chicken, fish, ham, eggs, tuna etc) will keep you full and also will protect your stomach. When you have reflux, you need to eat a low acid diet and eating carb is not good for the reflux. Sodas are awfull for the stomach because there's lots of acid in sodas. Stopping right now will help your reflux.

And finally, you did regain 2/3 of what you lost, but you are not back to your original weight. So this is a good sign that your sleeve is working, and I'm pretty sure that if you just follow those simple rules you will see a few kilos gone the very first week.

If you find it too difficult, find a good dietician to help you organize your grocery shopping list and your menus. Because the base of success here will be organization. Have the food you can eat available, find food you like , easy to make, and make sure there is no temptation around (empty your pantry from all junk food and soda).

The battle against obesity is endless and we all suffer from relapses for different reasons. But by focusing on a good healthy nutrition you will be able to succeed for sure! and when your diet will be under control, you can try to find exercise to help, just walking is already a big help, but you can also find lots of videos you can do at home (watch those on Sparkpeople.com for example) when I'm injured I always find something to do there, even on a chair!

Take care and keep us posted!

Hi everyone,

Thank you all for your feedback. Its getting my head back in the game.

Clarifying a couple of points.

I'm completely dairy free - if i so much a smell it, i get sick so that has developed since the sleeve.

I have had quite severe gastritis. The issue with my fibroids caused adhesion issues and my bowel is attached to my abdominal lining. My bowel was badly tangled and attached to my fibroids as well so there has been a vast vast improvement since my hysterectomy. I am occasionally down to 40 mgs of salpraz a day for my reflux which feels like a huge win.

My daughter can walk most days but suffers leg muscle issues and is also often unable to walk so we have a disability pram. I can use that when she isnt walking. I feel like simple walking wont work but i need to get moving anyway.... as ive lost all my fitness. its a good start.

So i'm in two minds

1) I go on a shake fast for a month to get myself into ketosis quickly and kick start the process then go palio diet after that, or just straight to palio.

last time I have a set menu for "most days", carried a protein shake and ball in my purse for emergency going out food if there were no appropriate options or i was time poor and if i went out i chose a protein and veg or salad option.

I'm thinking my set plan should be

breakfast ; shake

lunch ; chicken and veg rice wrap

afternoon tea ; banana or mandarine

dinner; fish and salad''snack and munchies i love celery and peanut butter or spicy broadbeans

I cannot drink water - i cannot explain it but i am completely unsuccessful at it. i keeo a jug of cold sugar free cordial in the fridge and i need to get in the swing of drinking more all day.

I barely eat a meal to be honest.

Finances were so tight during this time that i bought food for her and we ate potato's rice and pasta - it has been insane.

My daughter is also dairy and gluten free so not many tempations around to annoy me but i think i need to go shake fast to get past my sugar addiction... It is crazy.

I'll get back to my multi vitamins as i'm sure i'm malnourished and I have joint pain everywhere, I'll stop drinking with meals, and ill focus on the 15 minute window, protein first, then veg then healthy carbs if there is room _ there is never room.

I am so glad i came on here. I am so keen to get started.

i just need to shop and get organised. I know that is the key.

Thanks guys..

I'll keep you updated.

That's not a bad meal plan. If sugar is your issue I'd try a protein based snack like nuts or beef jerky in the afternoon. Even good sugars can prevent you from dropping the sweet tooth. Or you could have a protein shake for afternoon snack. Drop as many carbs as possible.

I'd run the diet past your GI doc as keto and paleo and regular sleeve diet can cause constipation which may affect you more given your surgery.

I’m sooo sorry I missed the no dairy part... :-(

I drink EAS or low carb Muscle Milk in my coffee in the morning, I rely mostly on Cashew Milk for “smoothies”, almonds and jerky make great snacks.

I use Patch MD vitamin and mineral patches and my blood levels are perfect.

I had a ton of complications after VSG (4 more surgeries and 4.5 months in hospital). There are certain foods and vitamins I can’t smell, let alone swallow.

Jackalope is absolutely right about checking with your Dr.

Walking is a great way to start moving!

Please keep us updated. I’m keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

Sounds like you are on your way!
Good for you.
Keep coming in here and tell us how you are going.
We want to be your cheer team :-)

Walking is a great start - actually other than 2 yoga classes a week walking is the only exercise that I do. At least 45 mins per day - more in Summer :-) However as you realise you need to amend your food intake as well.
Definitely get onto some vitamins - these are essential.

I plan my meals weekly. Although I am a creature of habit and during the week eat exactly the same thing for Breakfast, lunch and snacks. Dinner varies but is also planned. Great idea to have a plan B if you are out and there are no ideal foods. I have a protein bar in my bag for such occasions.

I also record what I eat, time etc in a notebook and on an app - the app gives me the nutrient value/calories. I enter everything - even if it is a "treat". I need to keep myself accountable.

Having said all that I have time to do this. You need to work our what is right for you.

You have got this!

You've been through a lot and come out the other end fighting - you go girl !!
Everyone has contributed some excellent advice, sounds like you are moving forward and have the determination and willpower to do what you need to.

Milk is a no no for me too so for breakfast I tend to have either powdered baby cereal mixed with water( 1 small box usually last me around 1 1/2 weeks, weetabix with strawberries or 1 boiled egg - sometimes I don't bother at all as I try to eat when my body needs it - if that makes sense.

Before my sleeve I hardly ever had just plain water I found it really boring and could never drink the volumes your supposed to, now I add just a splash of grape juice to water and can manage to drink the amount recommended.

Your one strong lady :)