Sex drive - WHAT sex drive? Gone with the ghrelin?
I'm going to be brave and broach this topic.
I have spent most of my life loving food and sex pretty much equally....
Meaning, I couldn't live without either. I've been accused of being a sex addict by a former partner. I have long lived on the extremely kinky side of the fence.
But... very, very sadly... since surgery I don't have any sex drive to speak of.
Mind you, hubby is well taken care of, a couple times a week at least (we're in our 50s, he feels lucky).... but sex
doesn't pop into my head essentially ever any more. I went from a woman
who used to joke I needed it 3 times a day with a bedtime snack to more
like - oh, okay, yeah we should do that, shouldn't we?
Once it's happening it's not like it isn't good, but I have to wonder where the heck my
drive went.
I found a few articles relating loss of ghrelin to loss of sex drive and stating that once the ghrelin starts to come back after a while, the sex drive does too. I hate to hope for my ghrelin to come back but maybe both appetites are joined together in the brain for some of us?
This is really hard but if there is anyone else suffering this, I won't ask you to post it here but I'd like to have someone to bounce this off of if you can pm me and I'll share an email addy.
I'm concerned because at this point if it gets any worse my marriage could suffer.
I am checking into an arm/breast lift, thinking it might help (tummy tuck is impossible, I have too much scar tissue from childhood surgeries, they won't touch me).
I'd really appreciate the support. I just don't recognize myself anymore in this area.
I felt FAR sexier at 335 than I do now. That makes me so unbearably sad.
Thanks for listening and (preemptively) being kind in your responses.
I'll be quite busy here the next 36 hrs so please don't think this was a hit and run post if I don't answer quickly.. holiday here in the states and all.....
Re: Sex drive - WHAT sex drive? Gone with the ghrelin?
Our ghrelin comes back? I did not know that. At about what time does that happen?
Re: Sex drive - WHAT sex drive? Gone with the ghrelin?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
mila
Our ghrelin comes back? I did not know that. At about what time does that happen?
It doesn't for everyone. But for those it does, the avg seems to be about 1 yr to 1 1/2 yrs according to the papers I've read. I think it may depend on how much we "feed" it with sugars, etc, and how sensitive we were to it in the first place. Still trying to compile data on it but it does seem to happen and I think it is for me as my appetite is returning and I am having to really pay attention.
Here is a portion of one scientific study. I do like where it says we who have the sleeve have a greater reduction in ghrelin to start with than those with rny because of fundus removal...the fundus is a part of the stomach that gets removed during our surgery. I have no proof of any of this. I'm just desperate enough to wish someone would do a study on ghrelin/sex connection.
Ghrelin and Sleeve Gastrectomy
LSG is a relatively new bariatric operation which was designed as a restrictive procedure. Recent studies challenge this classification showing accelerated gastric emptying after LSG [58]. However, another study of patients undergoing LSG showed no difference in gastric emptying compared to preoperatively and therefore the controversy remains [59]. The fact that the fundus of the stomach, the main location of ghrelin-producing cells, is excluded in this procedure led to speculation that ghrelin could play a role in the mechanism of action. Three studies confirmed a decrease in fasting ghrelin levels after LSG [54, 57, 60]. A prospective, double-blind study comparing RYGB and LSG confirmed a significant postprandial suppression of ghrelin postoperatively, while there was no change in the RYGB group [30]. In the same study, the marked suppression of ghrelin levels after LSG was associated with greater appetite reduction and excess weight loss during the first postoperative year compared to RYGB [30]. An even more recent prospective randomised comparison of LSG and RYGB confirms that both operations reduce fasting and meal stimulated ghrelin levels, significantly more so after LSG, so resection of the fundus has more impact on the ghrelin levels compared to just bypassing it [61].
Article link - Ghrelin and Metabolic Surgery
Re: Sex drive - WHAT sex drive? Gone with the ghrelin?
Sorry to hear that you are having this problem. I have had a high sex drive for the last couple years and since surgery it has seemed to increase, actually. Likely it is a mental thing.... but if you can just try not to worry so much about your saggy skin and focus on your desires for your husband; think about how much you care for him and need him (just build up the desire in your mind) You might just snap back into the swing of things after a while. Might be as simple as pushing through that mental block. Maybe commit to trying something different, IDK.... just throwing it out there. I hope it gets better for you. Good luck!
Re: Sex drive - WHAT sex drive? Gone with the ghrelin?
Well my first question is....what is ghrelin??? I've never heard of it. I'll look it up on the net in a few minutes.
At age 50 I would have to say....way to go on the sex drive. At age 40 my sex drive went out the door. I always read that women hit their peak in the 40's and then after age 40, I thought that must have been written by a man. Then I had my surgery three months ago. Several pounds lighter and my sex drive is raging like it was when I was in my 20's. I'm thinking that will change and I will eventually go back to my old self. My husband, not having much of a sex drive himself, is hoping so. We were always "the old couple" who were doing good to have sex once a week. Not the case anymore. If I can catch him laying on the bed and still....he's fair game for me. And if my daughter is gone from home and he's just on the sofa or where ever I can catch him he's fair game for me...LOL. He doesn't know how to act. Says I'm going to cause him to have a heart attack. He's not used to all this sex stuff. This has been going on for about a month or so now. So we will see where we go from here.
As far as your sex drive is concerned, I can see where you would worry about it interfering with your marriage. You know they do make female viagra. Could be a possiblity.
Re: Sex drive - WHAT sex drive? Gone with the ghrelin?
Sorry ladies, I'm not seeing anything about the lack of ghrelin affecting one's sex drive in the Medical articles on-line. I would say, party-on!
Re: Sex drive - WHAT sex drive? Gone with the ghrelin?
I read about ghrelin too after my last post. I see where it affects appetite but not sex drive. I agree with aclabombard13. With women, sex drive is more mental than physical. Work your way up to it mentally and forget about what you look like. Think about the things that turned you on before. You said yourself you were always into the kinky stuff. Go buy some new toys :)
Re: Sex drive - WHAT sex drive? Gone with the ghrelin?
I'm 62 and my strong sex drive has diminished somewhat. However, I was always pretty anxious for sex, and my hubby and I enjoyed it very much. I thought after the surgery and weight loss, the drive might come back. I'm finding that I don't like the saggy breasts or jiggly thighs much and the joy I thought I'd find in a thinner body is dimished by these visuals. My husband says, we made love when you weighed 285 and now that you're "skinny", you're depriving me of "doing it with the thinner you". I'm not sure if this is a compliment...lol... I have the "head feelings" of wanting to do it all the time, but sometimes the body isn't willing. As some of the more mature, menopausal ladies know; it's just not as comfortable as it once was. That's just physical, but I'm working on that too. I am looking at this "slow phase" as just that, a slow phase because of all the energy I have, I'm finding that I can do it longer, but not so muc much more frequently!! Thanks for bringing up the topic, Grace.
Re: Sex drive - WHAT sex drive? Gone with the ghrelin?
Like I said, a shot in the dark here, maybe just hoping it's going to come back soon.
As for female viagra, I'd have to WANT to want to increase my desire and right now I don't even have that impulse.
I feel like I went from a lifetime of frying pan into the deep freeze. Doc offered me some meds.... eh...side effects.
Re: Sex drive - WHAT sex drive? Gone with the ghrelin?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
jodiel
I read about ghrelin too after my last post. I see where it affects appetite but not sex drive. I agree with aclabombard13. With women, sex drive is more mental than physical. Work your way up to it mentally and forget about what you look like. Think about the things that turned you on before. You said yourself you were always into the kinky stuff. Go buy some new toys :)
I hear you... I could shop in my own closets. We literally have 2 closets and a trunk full of play things. Like I said, I've been on the dark side/kinky side of the fence for a long time. Maybe my drive is just normal now and I'm so used to being hypersexual it feels more like dead. Dunno. Middle aged...loose skin... boobs I preferred at my higher weight... it's just all part of it I think.
Re: Sex drive - WHAT sex drive? Gone with the ghrelin?
I agree w/the last statement you made. My kink has a kink in it and I need to "straighten it out"...lol... I've been on the "dark side" quite often in my life, and truly enjoyed some of the kinky stuff. Hoping to get back to the "kink".
Re: Sex drive - WHAT sex drive? Gone with the ghrelin?
Damn....maybe I need to take a trip to the dark side.The darkest I've gotten was reading the Fifty Shades trilogy. And that was pretty dark.....
Re: Sex drive - WHAT sex drive? Gone with the ghrelin?
I told myself that I wanted to try lots of things I couldn't do when I was overweight, now sex has to become one of them "thangs".
Re: Sex drive - WHAT sex drive? Gone with the ghrelin?
I know as I have lost weight in the past, my hormones change a lot, especially with all this belly fat and pcos. It could be once your hormones settle back down it may come back. I don't know all that much about hormones, but your estogren/progesteron/testosterone levels could be out of whack. Just in one month alone I go from, "really, now?" to "Get over here now!" Hope you figure it out!
Re: Sex drive - WHAT sex drive? Gone with the ghrelin?
My sex drive has been diminished as well...but only to the point that once a day suits me fine instead of 3 or 4. It has been a drastic reduction, but I think my partner appreciates the break.
And I'd just like to add...can I come shop in your toy closet? LOL. Love to get my kink on! Hee hee.