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Bulimia, Anorexia, or Restriction?
This forum section seems pretty quiet, so I'll go ahead and throw myself out here and make a post.
Do any of you lurkers suffer from any of this? Have you ever? How are you dealing with it? Did you address it pre-op? Did it resurface post-op? This applies to you EDNOS, too!
I've never known anyone else with an eating disorder that I could talk to. If you'd like to keep it private, you can even just message me. I'd like to hear your stories.
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Re: Bulimia, Anorexia, or Restriction?
I'm sad this forum is so quiet, clearly a few hundred read the posts here, but yet I see very little conversation. I'll put myself out there too!
Struggled as a teen with an ED. Gained lots of weight after I met my now husband. Had two kids and then was sleeved. Post surgery I find myself restricting, which is ridiculous I know. Sadly, I've even thrown up after eating something I know I shouldn't.
What about you Missatastic
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Re: Bulimia, Anorexia, or Restriction?
Thank you for responding. I've struggled with bulimia since high school.. Probably 2004ish? I've calmed it down a lot over the past few years, though. I tend to start off with restriction and vomiting what I do eat as of lately, even if it's healthy. I see people lurking this forum all the time, but so few are willing to come out of their shells. I have NEVER admitted this to anyone but my husband. I only told him because I thought it was fair he knew what he was getting himself into before we got married. He doesn't really understand it. He is insensitive and doesn't see it as much of a problem. I don't blame him, but it isn't quite the support I was hoping to find. I've also never known anyone else that has struggled with similar issues.
I get not wanting to say anything about it. Saying it means you have to accept it and admit there is a problem. This doesn't always feel like a problem to me, and I find it far more comforting to pretend things are okay and normal.
Hmm.
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Re: Bulimia, Anorexia, or Restriction?
I have struggled with never feeling thin enough even when I was thin. I think they call it body dysmorphia. I am worried that will happen when I start to lose weight. No amount of weight will be good enough andi will still see myself as fat even when I am not.
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Re: Bulimia, Anorexia, or Restriction?
I would imagine that most of the people receiving the surgery has experimented with most forms of weight loss and that includes the eating disorders. I experimented in high school with bulimia and anorexia but neither one of them stuck. But I do remember always lying about my weight even when I was in the 120's in high school and feeling fat because there was alway someone skinner. And there was this one clothing store in the mall that didn't have doors on their dressing rooms....uggg that was in the late 80's. Can you imagine that now?
I do still imagine myself as a thinner person though so when I would see current pics of myself I was like who is that chubber? Oh, yeah, me! So hopefully after 12-18 months when I am at my goal weight, I will finally look like the person I imagine myself to look!
Did the psych appointment address this for you guys at all?
Good Luck.
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Re: Bulimia, Anorexia, or Restriction?
I have addressed my binge eating with my therapist before surgery. There have been times in the past where I have purged after eating too much food. Chocolate and ice cream in large amounts upset my stomach. I know this is an area of concern for me. I will not allow food to have control over me anymore. I am still learning how much food I can eat in one setting. Month two was really hard for me. I over ate and threw up a lot. It has happened in the third month maybe two times. I feel at peace with my eating issues. I am open about my struggles because I want to change. I still see my therapist once a month. It keeps me accountable.
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Re: Bulimia, Anorexia, or Restriction?
Since my sleeve, I've had bulimia crop up again. Sometimes I eat too fast and too much, and end up going to the bathroom immediately to chuck it up. This happens a lot at restaurants. It's embarrassing to have to leave the table in the middle of a meal, but it happens all the time. One bulimic, always bulimic it seems :(
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Re: Bulimia, Anorexia, or Restriction?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
teddtlove
I have struggled with never feeling thin enough even when I was thin. I think they call it body dysmorphia. I am worried that will happen when I start to lose weight. No amount of weight will be good enough andi will still see myself as fat even when I am not.
I have this same fear. What I see in the mirror has never been the same as the way that people see me. I am already far more self aware, and I wonder if it will go away and I will allow myself to be happy.
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Re: Bulimia, Anorexia, or Restriction?
I struggled with anorexia in middle school and high school. I am not even sure how I survived, i hardly ate anything for about 3 years. I was in denial about it most of the time. My mother was in a new relationship and too busy to realize what was going on. I never felt skinny even when size zeros where hanging off of me. I've had my moments of binging and purging as well. My mom was a nurse and and kept all kinds of medications in the house. I even had some Ipecac (sp?) syrup which would induce vomitting. I then had a stash of phenergan to help with the nausea after my stomach contents where empty. Later on I came down with mono and almost died. I was laid up for 6 months. My eating habits changed at this point. I stopped starving myself, I stopped purging. The binging never left and just manifested itself over the years. I binged when I was happy, I binged when I was sad. I hid all the evidence, except for my waistline. You can't really hide that. I addressed it with my therapist and now am learning new ways to cope - along with my sleeve tool that just won't let me binge. I want to binge - i want to stuff my face still - but i have not physically tried a binge as I am only 4 weeks out and scared I will rupture my stomach. I did only chew and spit a piece of cake after the guilt racked over me - for a morsel of cake. I know this is wrong and I won't be doing it again.
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Re: Bulimia, Anorexia, or Restriction?
I often get caught up in the chew/spit world. It bit me today because I took a sip of coke and ended up having to swallow it rather than being able to spit it out. Ugh.
I already want to binge as well, but I'm only 1 week out. Hopefully this can break us of binging!
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Re: Bulimia, Anorexia, or Restriction?
I was a binge eater too. I did it for comfort from some interesting abuse in my past and it just stuck. Post sleeve I've found that I just can't because binging only causes me to purge, which is really hard with a sleeve if you've eaten to the point that you can't eat anymore. I've learned through negative reinforcement that it just doesn't work for me. I've found new behaviors though, primarily shoe shopping. Impulsive actions are also a sign of my bipolar disorder.
I can relate to those with anorexia/bulemia and I hope you get the support you need. Once you've been sleeved for a while your confidence will skyrocket and that will help your outlook on all things psychological.
Tina, I can relate to your body image thing. I've always seen myself as small, even when I was 376 pounds. I look at myself now and I am starting to see more the person I am, but looking at pictures is always a bit of a shocker. I've got a small frame, so I'm hoping that if I do manage to hit 140ish the physical me will catch up with my image of me.
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Re: Bulimia, Anorexia, or Restriction?
This is an important thread. And one more reason I want to remain anonymous on this site. I was a binger starting as a child and then added purger to that as an adult. I'm being sleeved in April and this issue is important for me to think about. I sure appreciate everything you all have said.
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Re: Bulimia, Anorexia, or Restriction?
I'm happy this section exists. My bulimic tendencies combined with food addiction is definitely a scary factor with this surgery. I'm 4 days post op, and I can say head hunger definitely plays with me because I actually have not felt hunger since the procedure. Smells that used to drive me into consumption isn't nearly as potent either, but I find my mind thinking of rich food, which, so soon after surgery is definitely dangerous.
I've binged and purged since high school, including 3 weeks prior to my procedure. I decided that what goes in, stays in to force myself into moderation mode with the things I enjoyed. Surprisingly, the prospect of surgery and my cardiac health to survive it, was enough to make me stick to this. I'm seeing a therapist of course, because I don't want to risk rupture and want to improve my eating habits. To all, make sure you're aware of the dangers of this procedure combined with ED. You're not alone!
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Re: Bulimia, Anorexia, or Restriction?
I find that being around people definitely helps with the binge factor. Of course, binging for us is different... a meal you can find at a typical restaurant is most definitely a binge, but if you can invite someone who knows about your procedure and understands the portion sizes as your support, maybe that's an option. Perhaps minimize being alone if you can if stress is a binge factor for you (stress is a factor for me, but I live 7k miles from my family). The sleeve don't break binging habits/tendencies.
Have you been able to work on the chew/spit habit? That's going to drive me nuts!
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Re: Bulimia, Anorexia, or Restriction?
I'm going to be brave and put myself out here, because this is an important topic. I appreciate all of your brave posts. Started bingeing and purging in high school. Mix of severe anorexia and bulimia in college resulting in near kidney failure, perforated esophagus, and septic shock. Nearly died from the dueling disorders. I'm 5'11 and was down to 118lbs. Did a bunch of therapy, said I would never go back to that place. After my marriage started to fail, well...I went back, only unable to lose the weight like before because after you starve yourself for years, you mess up your metabolism. So, even though I was bingeing and purging regularly the weight was still coming on. I swung the other way into obesity and was in a very dark place-entrenched in the dangerous habits only now without results. Got some help again, and finally after a few more years of therapy felt ready to have the VSG. I had my surgery 10 months ago and I've been really diligent to follow the plan. Lean proteins first, lots of water and exercise. I'm happy to report that this is the most balanced I have felt in years. I've lost 135lbs without losing my mind this time. My propensity to starve, binge and purge has all but disappeared. I'm living life to the fullest, and am active and happy and am a mere 30lbs to goal. I know I will get there if I stay a balanced course. I believe that the sleeve has been a miracle for a disorder that I never thought I would defeat. The sleeve has truly been a blessing in my life. I'm committed to maintaining balance and not waging war with my body!