Totally Freaked Out! Need some feedback...

My boss (who is also my Primary Care Physician) got me so upset and freaked out about surgery. He was telling me that I am making a huge mistake and that I am seriously going to regret it. That I won’t feel well because I won’t ever be able to eat normally again.

Eating with others will always be awkward and unsatisfying because I won’t be able to eat more than 3 bites of and I can’t drink with meals. He says that most of the patients he knows that have had Gastric Sleeve are very unhappy and regret doing it. He thinks lap band is a better option because it’s not permanent. I am so overwhelmed and confused. My head is spinning!!

Unbelievable this...
Time for a new job and a new doctor.

Your boss might be really old or closed minded to talk to you that way!! so unprofessional!!

First the lapband is not used anymore because it's a direct way to failure.
Also bariatric surgery has been proven to be the only way for obese patients to get back to a "normal" weight.

Don't listen to him : do you research, you will see he is wrong.

I'm 3 years out, eat today like my 17 years old who's always been tiny and not really hungry. Nobody never told her anything..

It's true at first you don't eat much but the point is to get your health back, not to enter a food contest. I traveled from two months post-op, and my work make me attend lots of functions, dinners, luncheons etc...never had an issue. You are an adult and don't have to justify to anyone why you eat or not !! of course the first year I would only order an appetizer, and if people worry you can always say : I had a big breakfast/lunch/snack ...or just that you are under the weather!

If you worry about permanent, may be look at the balloon? for me it was not possible, had lots to lose, I'm a slow loser and you can only keep the balloon 6 months, plus some people gain all the weight back as soon as it's out...

It's your life and your body, get a new GP or someone who's going to be more open minded!!
Good luck! take care!

Aren't you lucky that you have found a place that have people who are YEARS out from surgery and can give you the real deal. First of all, no offense or shade to your doctor/boss, but he should be an encouraging force, not discouraging. Speaking for myself, I am five years out. Sleeve surgery is the best thing that I have ever done for myself. I eat out with friends, I travel, I work out, etc. This surgery gave me back my life, my confidence and so much more. I don't have one single solitary regret other than I wish I had known about this surgery sooner.

Your doctor should know that most bariatric doctors refuse to do the lap band anymore because of all the problems associated with it. Once you have your surgery--you have a new stomach (almost). Just like a baby when its born goes through the phases of eating with its brand new stomach, you will do the same thing. So yes, in the beginning, you will move through liquids, soft foods before you begin eating solids. In the beginning, you can't eat much. This does not last long--and YOU'LL BE LOSING WEIGHT, and still feel satisfied. Some people feel that sleeve surgery is the cure. It is not. It is simply a tool--you still have to do the work. Those who are miserable are people who are not willing to do the work!

Continue to do your research and make the decision that is best for you.

What a silly, silly person your doctor is!

A great place for some wonderful information is Ann2 thread - she posts her history and how she went through each year -- and she has a vibrant, active, fun life, as do most of us who have had VGS. I have more energy and more enthusiasm than I've had in the last 20 years.

As to eating out or family gatherings? Actually, no one really cares what or how much you eat, unless you're stealing french fries off their plate, lol.
I do preview a menu on line when I can, so I can make a healhty choice.

But I eat about 6-8 ounces at a time, which is a lot if it's healthy stuff. And I ask for a "take out" container up front and just say I'm not as hungry as I thought I was, but hate to waste the deliciousness. Which is true. I take it home and either finish it over a couple of days, or my husband eats it.

I love cooking for a crowd, and find the satisfaction of companionship and fun, and the process of cooking, just as amazing as always.

You're doctor is very weird. And my PCP was enormously supportive of my choice, proud of my process, and available at every step.

JessNP,

Don't get discouraged. If all of these regretful people exist that your doctor speaks about, I've never seen them on here or never ran into them in my bariatric circles. I won't get into 'slamming" your doctor. He's got his opinions for whatever reason. Some primary care doctors actually don't know a lot about bariatric surgery. But, if you read a lot of posts on here, you'll find none of his opinions are really valid. In my experience, having read a lot of posts on these forums, I've only ever seen one very common and resounding regret. That regret is the same as my regret. That I didn't get the surgery and do this for myself 10 years sooner.

Do I run around everywhere I go announcing my surgery, no. Do I tell every waitress at every restaurant, or even every friend or acquaintance, no. But if feeling a bit awkward from time to time, because everyone around me is stuffing their face and gulping down beers, like I used to, and ordering a glass of water at dinner that I don't drink, are the only things I have to deal with...I'll that any day for being given my health and life back.

I don't want to assume anything, but maybe because you also work there, you have a great friendly relationship with him. His statements sound more like a friend. Friends will often make those kinds of statements (are you sure, you'll regret it, you can't enjoy restaurants anymore, etc.). My advice would be, if it bothers or worries you, get another opinion from an outside PC Doctor that doesn't know you from Adam. People get second opinions for surgery all the time.

Anyway, the decision is all yours. Not your PCP's decision, not your friends, not any of us. Think about what you want and what you're trying to accomplish, do lots of research, and go be happy either way you go. Good luck. You'll figure it out.

I'm sorry that your "Boss", your doctor would say such a thing to you. After all the research and positive results he feels this way... I think he needs to do a little more catching up with the times. I am 7 years out and I have to admit it's been a struggle to keep loosing weight. It was me, not the tool that I was given. Now I'm back on track and am still using the tool of gastric sleeve to assist me in my weight loss jouney.

Get a new "Boss", Doctor who is more up to date with statistics!

best.....

I had the lap band in 2009. It did work for about 2 years and then it slipped and I never was able to use it as intended. Fast forward to 3/27 when we took the bugger out, it had started to grow into the underside of my liver. YIKES! Do your own research to make sure the decision you make is the right one for you. Everyone has opinions and well meaning intentions, but ultimately it’s your decision.

I’m so sorry your boss told you a lot of inaccurate information. Lap band is linked to a lot of problems and not as effective. You will eventually be able to eat more than two bites. He’s right you can’t ever drink before or after eating. Must Waite 30min. Not a big deal, you will look at food differently and you won’t care. I attended social functions at restaurants when I was on clear liquids. I brought stuff with me and ordered what I can have. I always travel with a protein shake just in case I can’t find a healthy choice, most cases not a problem. I however don’t recommend this surgery if you have a history of acid reflux and hiatal hernias. I had to have a revision to a Bypass in November. I didn’t know that and my doctor was in Mexico and he apparently didn’t care and tell me. If you have that history I recommend you go with the Bypass.It is also Reversible. If you don’t have this issue than I’d go with the Sleeve. I loved the first year I had with the Sleeve. I wish I didn’t develope problems but so far with the Bypass I’m having no absorption problems, no more heartburn/reflux.
Find a good Bariatric doctor that can review your medical history and help decide what is best and won’t give you scare tactics. Take a deep breath. WLS if your ready to change your eating habits and exercise can be an amazing thing. There is a possibility of complications and I had life threatening complications with my revision. I’m getting better but still not back to my old self. Good luck

Has your boss had sleeve surgery? If not he knows nothing and is uninformed. (I would think a doctor would have to take classes to continue his education throughout his career as things change.) He must be old, as my PCP is totally on top of the sleeve. She knows what blood tests I need and when and she knows how my weight was hurting my health. Every time I see her she is proud I'm keeping it off.

You WILL be able to eat totally normally again. It's only a small portion of time early on where you can only eat a few bites, probably those first 6 weeks. But those short weeks are totally worth it to be a healthy, regular sized person. I'm 5 years out and no one would ever know I had surgery when we are out at a party or restaurant with friends. I eat less than others, but who notices. Nobody cares that I'm ordering the ahi tuna appetizer or a small salad topped with chicken. My life isn't only normal, it's WAY better than normal. It's 100% improved. Good luck to you and chill.

Thank you all for your replies! Each one of you make valid points and this is why I am so happy I have found this site. I think my boss/PCP means well and cares about me, but his views on obesity and gastric sleeve surgery are very outdated. I think he views obesity as a lack of self-control and willpower rather than the complex multicausal disease that it is. Despite his "opinion" I am confident that I am doing what I MUST do for my health. I am sad that I will have to push the surgery date out a little further because of my job and financial constraints (end of June at the earliest), but it gives me more time to prepare. Thanks again for being such wonderful people!!

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Originally Posted by JessNP

Thank you all for your replies! Each one of you make valid points and this is why I am so happy I have found this site. I think my boss/PCP means well and cares about me, but his views on obesity and gastric sleeve surgery are very outdated. I think he views obesity as a lack of self-control and willpower rather than the complex multicausal disease that it is. Despite his "opinion" I am confident that I am doing what I MUST do for my health. I am sad that I will have to push the surgery date out a little further because of my job and financial constraints (end of June at the earliest), but it gives me more time to prepare. Thanks again for being such wonderful people!!

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Don't worry, it's worth the wait! You sound well prepared!

I can't really add anything that hasn't already been said above.
My GP was totally supportive when I asked about bariatric surgery. He had 3 or 4 other patients who had had surgery so he was up on the play.

Eating out (and eating in general) isn't an issue. I just don't eat like I did before. A lot less (of course - but definitely more than 3 bites!) and better decisions. As have been said no-one cares what you are, or aren't, eating. I order a small starter or entrée (they are like starter size here), of if there is nothing suitable in that category I will order a main and just not eat it all. I am totally comfortable with paying for a full meal and not eating it all. Sometimes I am ok with asking for a takeout box, other times I just leave it. My partner has learnt not to try and finish my meal for me as he didn't need the extra either ;-). Sometime we order 2-3 small plates and share so that I can get a taste of a couple of different dishes.

Only once has a waiter pressed me for a drinks order even after I had told him several times that I didn't want anything. In the end I told him that I only had 1/4 of my stomach and there just wasn't room for food and drink. That shut him up and he left me alone after that :-)

I can't comment on the lap band as it really isn't an option here anymore. Sleeve surgery is the one of choice for most.

There are a lot of very happy, successful, healthy people on this forum. Perhaps you should get your boss to come on in and have a look for himself!

All the best x

Your boss needs to speak with bariatric surgeons before making such a blanket statement. Yes I know people that have regrets, but I know many more that are ridiculously happy. I would not go back to reverse my decision. I had my surgery in Sept 2014 and am still pleased with the results. I cannot eat as much as I used, which is the whole point. There are certain foods I abstain from, such as rice. Not much to give up to be healthy and happy. This is not a life time fix, none of the bariatric surgeries are. The first two years or so are easy. The weight comes off easily. I went far below my goal and needed to gain some back. I looked haggard. I am now 4.5 years out and work on maintaining my weight. I would really like to lose a few. Old habits can creep. I will never be able to eat 3 pieces of lasagne, salad, bread and 3 glasses of sangria. That is ok. I can eat one slice, a little salad, no sangria, and a bite of bread. I eat pizza, french toast, steak, etc. When I want Sangria, I drink Sangria, but plan on drinking very slowly, and eating less. Good luck to you. Please remember every persons journey is different. That is why we share our stories. I am fortunate that my bariatric center offers support groups for life. I still go and have been guest speaker numerous times. Good luck to you.