Hey folks -
At 13 months out and 16 months since preop diet it's looking like getting any more weight off is going to be just like pre-surg was - a huge fight for every lb. I've agonized over this for weeks but am now trying to accept it. If I were able to afford skin removal I'd probably drop 10 lbs right there, but not at my age with a 160k mortgage and 11 yr old car...so, it is what it is.
So now the question I ask myself is how hard do I want to fight to get the last 23 lbs off?

I mean, I'm not gaining and maintaining is (thank you Goddess) very easy. That, alone, is worth doing this surgery for..but losing more isn't happening at least not in any way I notice but for a bit of reshaping. I'd say at this point I'm lucky to drop 1.5 lbs a month.
Now I've dropped 117 lbs. This is a good thing. Size 30-32 4x to size 18 L/XL. But those size 16s taunt me and I have just a little too much fat on to be comfortable moving around. So to answer my own question, I do want to drop at least 15 lbs more but I realize more and more I don't want to make it a fight. I just hope I'm not sabotaging myself by "giving up". I'm going to continue to eat healthy, avoid sugars, exercise, etc. And if I drop 1.5 lbs a month doing that, then great, in a year I'll be where I want to be. And if my body is just done, then I accept that as well. From now on it's about healthy, not skinny as the discussion board name states.
The hardest part of being a bbw (which I still identify with and love being) in this setting is that there are folks getting this surgery at my starting weight. This has been a big emotional issue for me, one I have worked through with my therapist. They have their walk through life and I have mine. If someone here ends at my starting weight but starts 100 lbs higher, then I celebrate their hard work, why won't I let myself celebrate my own?
I'm never going to be skinny, or even overweight per the weight tables. I'm never going to run a marathon, not with the damage in my knees from working my tush off in a factory in steel toed boots to raise my daughters as a single mom. I'm never going to be a size 14 plus size model. But I am a WHOLE lot healthier and nearly all the trappings of morbid obesity are gone from my life. My canes, my seat belt extenders, my bag of heat packs and ace bandages I had in each car...gone. My embarrassment at being larger than my 6'3" 304lb hubby...gone. There is some sadness at not reaching my goal weight at my first surgiversary, but maybe I just had the wrong goal? Maybe the goals should not be numbers but feelings, attitudes and moments of joy. If that was my goal I met it several months ago when I walked around albeit slowly for an entire day with my daughters and grandsons and went on the rides with the little one at Storyland. So much better than a number on a scale... so if Onederland happens someday, fine, great, terrific! But if all I ever do from here is be healthy and stay at this weight? That's just fine, too.... or is it? The internal debate continues.
Hugs to all of you!