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Secrets

  1. Rowan55
    Rowan55
    I haven't told anyone except my daughter that I am having a VSG. Frankly, I'm embarrassed that I couldn't lose the weight on my own. Irrational perhaps but there nonetheless. Sometimes this leads to feelings of guilt and other times I think, "Ain't nobody's business if I do!"

    How are you managing your privacy during such an exciting time?
  2. compact
    compact
    Hi Rowan -- I've written in a few threads about this, because I'm keeping mine a secret too. If you click on my profile and then to read my posts, you'll find them easily. I think it's completely fine to be private about this.
    Nel
  3. DiPri
    DiPri
    Only my closest friend and the people I work with. My family is far away and none of them know. Don't know if I'll ever tell them!
  4. Smccabe
    Smccabe
    normally I am extremely private but this was different for me because it was such a drastic change in how I would have to live my life I have been completely open and have told everyone even strangers like the waitress at a restaurant. I have not had one negative comment, only positive encouragement. I am one month post surgery and down about 43 , I am happy so far but it has not been easy either.
  5. Charlie
    Charlie
    Hi I have told two people and I'm glad I didn't tell anyone else. I am now 15 months since the operation and I've lost all my weight and i feel great I work in the medical field and I would support anyone who wants to have the gastric sleeve I can almost eat normal now but I've learnt how to hide the smaller amount I can eat which isn't easy at first.

    All the best
  6. Charlie
    Charlie
    Oh Rowan55 please don't think you have to be embarrassed about having the operation you don't have to explain it to anyone good luck
  7. Grace
    Grace
    I don't feel embarrassed except that I didn't lose as much as most folks....so those who have not seen me in say 10 yr would not have ever seen me larger and there's no difference. Otherwise I feel like I want to spread the possibilities of what this can do for people's health. But you need to do what works for you. If it is better for you to be private, then do come up with some answer that's plausible as people will ask when you lose weight so suddenly. It could be as simple as "I found what works for me, low carb and exercise" and leave it at that.
  8. JUDITH
    JUDITH
    I've told more people than I EVER thought I would!! I think when I say it out loud,it becomes a reality.
  9. CathyBERN
    CathyBERN
    I wanted it to be kept from people also. Only I told my mother and she told everyone and it ended up on facebook.
    But I was happy when people asked if there was anything they could do to help.
  10. Bilby
    Bilby
    I am still a long way from surgery but don't plan to include anyone except my husband (who is fully supportive).
  11. TeddyTexas
    TeddyTexas
    I told my family and friends about the surgery. When I told them my goal was to live longer so I could be around for my grandchildren and watch them grow up, they did not give me a hard time. It makes it much easier when we are having a meal. Some of my family members offers to split a meal with me (actually more like a 70/30 split!). I can order just an appetizer. I drink nothing with my meals. Sometimes they still ask questions, but they are all supportive and want to help support me. I am very fortunate to have such a great family and friends. The only think I haven't liked is that sometimes my husband tells people about my surgery before I have a chance to decide if I want them to know. I think that's my decision, not his.
  12. Mamabird
    Mamabird
    I've only told my husband and children and my best friend, whom I have sworn to secrecy. I'm just over 4 months out and feel great, but I'm going to visit my parents this week for the first time since before surgery. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that my folks will accept, "I've finally found what works" for an answer as to why I now look fabulous.
  13. Lucy61
    Lucy61
    I told everybody who would listen and there is not a single person that is not supportive of my goals. I even invited a 25 people over for a pre-op party with my favorite foods and drinks. It gave me a chance to explain to them what I would be going thru, what my challengese would be afterwards, and now 8 weeks out, all I get is support & concern that all is going well. I wouldn't change it a bit, I don't have to hide anything, I am not ashamed that I could not take the weight off, it is a disease that we need help with. I don't like to keep secrets... its not like they couldn't tell that I was over wieght before, and that I would be losing a lot of weight its all out there and I am glad I did it that way. I understand everybody is different and have different situations, but thought I'd just toss in my 2 cents - Congratulations on your decision to become healthier, its one of the best things you will ever do for yourself.
  14. jackiew
    jackiew
    At first I wanted to keep it quiet also. I just told my immediate family. I was afraid that I would be judged by others. But since surgery I have told more people and all have been very supportive. It does not seem to be a big deal anymore.
  15. QueenP
    QueenP
    I work in a hospital lab.And had the surgery where I work and my stomach that was cut off would be coming to my lab.I know about hippa but I knew it would leak.So I decided to tell all my co workers and they were very supportive.The only reason I thought of not telling is because failure was in the back of my head and I did not want to be looked at as another failure.
  16. waiting2bthin
    waiting2bthin
    I've only told one co worker from outstate about the vsg procedure. My oldest son thinks I'm just have my lapband removed and hernia repaired. My other son thinks it just a hernia repair nothing else. Since the lapband was such a failure for me, I know my son will lecture me about having the vsg done. i'mJust not in mood to hear that lecture.
  17. Bren-duh
    Bren-duh
    I too am keeping this hush, hush with the exception of my husband. I had Lapband surgery in 2005 and lost 85lbs, and was so happy. In 2010, the band slipped and had to have it removed. Needless to say, I gained some of my weight back. Now, it really is nobodies business how I lose my weight, and I'm happy that I have decided to go with the sleeve, which I'm having done February 14th and can't wait!
  18. WyomingDiva
    WyomingDiva
    Oh, I understand completely. I am so not willing to listen to anyone's crap, so I have only told my best friend so far. I will tell my daughter before I go, but I think I will keep it on the 'down low' other than that!
  19. thinmayray
    thinmayray
    Hi this is my first post ever so here goes. I first told my family and now with the surgery close I have told my friends as well. My way of getting them off my back was to tell them that I've done my homework, this is my choice, and if you were me would you want to carry all this weight around with you for the rest of your life. It worked!
  20. ItCldBeSweet
    ItCldBeSweet
    I am keeping this to myself mainly. Immediate family (husband & kids) & the friend who is having the surgery with me! No one else. I don't want to hear any of the negative feedback at all! I think part of it is my fear of "what if I fail?"...UGHHH I don't like those negative thoughts! I will eventually tell people...after the surgery....I don't think I could hide it afterwards. Also...I am 51 years old & I'm still afraid my mom would freak out! I can just hear her say how crazy I am to go to Mexico for surgery...she is heavy herself...but would never understand or be supportive...yeah Im not telling!
  21. JulesH
    JulesH
    I have told immediate family and my boss at work but no one else, I am having my gallbladder removed as well so now I am telling people it is a gallbladder operation if they ask. I was surprised at how supportive my boss was, especially since this is a very busy time for us at work. Surgery is in only 8 days.
  22. abequa2000
    abequa2000
    Dont need my sister to be calling and saying your a loser for not doing this on your own.just taking the easy way out well its not easy and i dont need her bugging me. if people ask i just say lots of walking and high protein diet
  23. Barb S
    Barb S
    I told my immediate family, a few friends, and a couple of coworkers. I told my boss and other coworkers that I was having a hiatal hernia repair done. I didn't feel it was any of their business and I didn't want their input. Those that I have told all know I have had it done for health reasons. I am a colon cancer survivor, high blood pressure, shortness of breath, arthritis pain in lower back, and generally felt miserable. Twenty days out I no longer have shortness of breath, my back pain is almost gone, my blood pressure is coming down and I feel good.
  24. nana banana
    nana banana
    I've told my daughter that I'm in the beginning stages of WLS. I will be telling my son this week. Both adults with families of their own. I am extremely reluctant to tell my husband as in the past he has shared my personal health info with his family. I want to pick & choose who I tell. At some point I have to tell him but it won't be today....
  25. Cinlmc60
    Cinlmc60
    Am currently sitting at work, looking at the letter from my Dr. that says I'm having surgery on the 17th and that I'll be out of work for x weeks. I have to give this letter to HR and I'm shaking - how stupid, huh?!
    I would love for no one to know - except my best friend and immediate family.
  26. Barb S
    Barb S
    I told my supervisor I was having hiatal hernia surgery when I requested time off. I have lost 23 lbs at last weigh in... he doesn't see me every day but he keeps looking at me like there is something different but he cannot quite figure it out.
  27. Russ L II
    Russ L II
    I told my entire family and all my friends. So many other's that didn't get told or just didn't think to let them know, thought I had cancer. First question out of everyone's mouth was You ok. Had several others this year said they were told that I did have cancer and were afraid to approach me. Until they saw that I was having a good time and enjoying life. So share the new's in my opinion. I understand that it's not their business, & that you're doing this for you and not them. But it's diffently nothing to be ashamed that you couldn't do it on your own, But you are doing it, You're just using a different tool to obtain your goal. Best of luck to you!
  28. vivianl
    vivianl
    My surgery is on the 17 of June. I have only told my daughter who I will have to stay with as my surgery is out of town. I am scared to tell people. They don't understand and they think it is the easy way out. We all know that it isn't. I am having such a hard time dealing with my obesity that I don't want to have to also deal with people's opinions etc. I told my husband that I am having a surgery because things are messed up inside. He asked no questions. I hate lying but I feel too trapped to tell the truth. I am working with a trainer to get strong and healthy. This I started when I thought my surgery date was a year away. I had already been waiting 3 years and I had to do something rather than just get bigger and bigger. I am so scared to tell my trainer. More so than even my husband. I think he will feel like I am giving up. What a mess I sound like. I don't want to tell anyone.
  29. wenpow
    wenpow
    Vivian;

    Please don't be afraid to tell your trainer. It makes me wonder if this trainer person is like Jillian Michaels who screams at you to do more jumping - jacks.

    Truthfully, I am more afraid of the surgery itself - I had carpal tunnel surgery last summer and went into respiratory arrest and then cardiac arrest on the table! When I had a cardiac catheterization a few weeks later, the cardiologist found 2 completely blocked arteries and inserted stents. Now THAT is something to be afraid of.

    Remember, the trainer is YOUR employee. You are the client and the client is ALWAYS right. Often people new to being trained feel like the trainer is an authority figure ... HE/SHE is NOT! Unfortunately, in many cases they don't even have a 6month certificate - they usually only have a 2-4 week workshop certificate. And finding a trainer that knows how to work with diabetics or with carpal tunnel issues or with heart issues... ? Hard to find indeed. You will be fine. I do believe what someone said above ... tell as many people as you feel comfortable, for me it is like talking it into reality.

    Good luck,
    Wendy
  30. DisneyDee
    DisneyDee
    I have not kept my surgery a secret but I have not broadcast it either. I am not ashamed that I had surgery but one of my son's feels like I am taking the easy way out. Well I have had complications and feel really horrible since about ten days out....All I can say is if this is the easy way I would certainly hate to see the hard way. Good luck to everyone.
  31. bchevery
    bchevery
    could anyone tell me what u r to eat with in the first month of surgery please
  32. LisaNunu
    LisaNunu
    Wow - this whole thread makes me feel better! I have really struggled with who to tell - who not to. What if I tell everyone and then do not lose weight - what if I am a failure - then I will be fat AND have to listen to everyone's I told you so!
    It really helped reading all of your fears and knowing I was not alone in this! I am so glad I stumbled across this site.
    I told my immediate family and closest friends and have been really surprised by the support! They have all been so encouraging (well except one - isn't that always the case - she has just been making snide comments - but she kind of does that about alot of things I decide...hmmm - now I think about it - WHAY are we even friends?!?!? - I guess we all need a "friend" we can count on to keep our egos in check) Anyway - EVERYONE else I have told has just gushed love, best wishes and offers for help and support.
  33. WyomingDiva
    WyomingDiva
    I kept my VSG a secret too - until I had terrible complications afterwards and then my daughter and best friend were begging me to let them tell the rest of the family so they could be there for me.

    I don't regret the secret - but it was hard to let them tell it, later. Good luck to you!
  34. Bilby
    Bilby
    I am re-reading this thread .... I originally posted on 2nd January that I would not tell anyone and at that time I had not even booked surgery.
    I had my procedure on 20th June and now at 5 weeks out I am back o normal albeit eating smaller amounts.
    I am SO GLAD that I kept my secret.
    My husband and I did great and I believe I had all the support I needed (and will continue to need) from this site
  35. Narasweet
    Narasweet
    People are already noticing my weight loss and asking questions, some I tell the whole story to and others, just about being gluten free and high protein. I have lost 10 kegs before surgery which is next Thursday and off insulin from the start of this week (pre op diet did it). So glad I am making this journey, far more excitement than nerves. I am proud of finally getting my head in the right place to make this work, the sleeve is another fantastic tool to make sure!!! Swallows, will be good to be past the painful bit tho.
  36. simplysexy50s
    simplysexy50s
    How long has anybody been off from work, I work in a salon and need to know how long I need to be off. I have only told a few of my immediate fam cause I don't want to hear the negative feedback
  37. SuzyQ951
    SuzyQ951
    I'm new to this thread but it strikes a cord with me. I'm a very private person but I finally decided to tell some of my family. I was surprised and touched by how supportive they are being. My surgery date is 16 days from today so I'm getting super excited! This support group is amazing. Because of what I've learned here,I feel like I'm going in fully informed!
  38. Laural
    Laural
    I decided to let my family know, but I did not tell my husband's family. I had to decide who I thought was going to be the most supportive and who would not. My friends and my family have always loved me for who I am and want only the best for me. My husband's family are very judgemental and the first thing they say about someone is how much weight they have gained or loss. If the person gained, they make snide remarks. Trust me, I can only imagine what they said about me before the operation.

    Since the operation my one sister in law has tried to get information from my daughter, son and even my grandchildren. They don't want to know to be supportive, they want to know so they can gossip.... but this time, no one is talking.

    It's a personal decision. You will know what is right for you. Best Wishes!!
  39. Pkay
    Pkay
    I'm taking a gloves off approach. I'm telling everyone who will listen. Obesity is killing our nation and most people are embarrassed about weight loss. I hope my enthusiastic open minded vocal approach will garnish me support and give support to those who suffer in silence with this killer lifestyle of obesity.
    Paula
  40. LtWeight
    LtWeight
    I had my sleeve 7/29/13 and only told my immediate family, my boss, one co-worker, and my BFF. The other co-workers are all gossips and I didn't and don't need any negative remarks to or about me. I took 4 weeks off (I have saved up 7 months of sick leave) so I could get used to my new stomach and go through the multitude of sizes and seasons of clothes. When I go back I don't plan to tell them anything. They are constantly taking off (have no leave saved up for emergencies) and I don't ask them what's going on with them and they don't offer so I'll just tell them it's private if they ask.
  41. SANDRA150
    SANDRA150
    I told everyone I had a hernia repaired and gall bladder out with the exception of my husband, kids and parents. Little did I know that my mother told her BFF and sister. My aunt told my cousin. My husband told his BFF... Ugh! I'm positive there are allot more people out there letting me lie through my teeth and all the while they know I had WLS!

    I feel bad when my sister-in-laws call me to see how I feel (my faux gall bladder operation) and I didn't tell them - I was going to until - my aunt called me - it started off very nice - how you feeling, blah blah blah and I said I'm so excited I lost 22 pounds already and she said - well now why couldn't you have done this without surgery - of course your loosing - your starving yourself -

    Made my decision not to tell another person.
  42. Happagirl
    Happagirl
    I only told my husband, who has been very supportive and can see first hand what I have and what I an currently going through. I did not want to hear any of the negative comments and judgments.
  43. amayzme
    amayzme
    I'm new to this site. and my sleeve date is january 5th in Mexico with Dr.almanza. i am not telling anyone at all. i don't think they would understand. also like so many times with "diets" I'm afraid i will fail with this too. i hope to get rid of close to 100 pounds. I'm so glad to have been blessed to run across this affordable surgery in Mexico. although that "mean " little voice in my head tells me its not going to happen for me...i try to push it away.
  44. carnation
    carnation
    I told my husband and my mom. Everyone else thinks I had my hernia repaired - which I did. I don't feel like anyone else needs to know. I'm a private person, and am fine with my decision. I don't feel obligated to tell the world, or to be the poster-child for WLS. Right now, It's working for me.
  45. LFAJ
    LFAJ
    I am SOOOO glad that I am not alone. This is my story and I am sticking to it... I had a hiatial hernia repair, and did have complications including a blood clot, and pancreatitis. I also wound up on life support at 3 weeks out (for unknown reasons). My BFF of 20 years is the only one who knows I have been sleeved. I have decided to keep the secret from my hubby. Initally we were both going for wls. He then decided that he would be true to self and admit that he was not ready to make such lifestyle changes. Because of his medical issues my surg. was put on hold (for a year). In that time, each time we had an argument, he would say that he was going to tell everyone that I was going to go for wls. SO, I decided to do it without telling him. I did also have a hiatial hernia repair, which is what I told him. My surgery was complicated as was my first 3 months post-op, as per my doctor. I also have an umbilical hernia that was not repaired as yet because my body could not have tollerated that surgery as well. What I told hubby was " After having the surgery I did, Bariatric surgery is off my bucket list" didn't tell him it was checked off.
  46. Luann
    Luann
    I can see why you aren't telling him, if he threatened to tell everyone against your wishes! But I'm kind of surprised he can't figure it out on his own, well maybe he thinks the different foods & amounts are due to hernia repair recovery. Hmmm. Glad you are doing well now, how scary to get so sick after the surgery.
  47. LFAJ
    LFAJ
    Was def scary. I truly believed that I was going to die and attempted to prepare my loved ones. Hehehe has no clue. Let him keep on thinking that, reaping many benefits. So smiling.
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