After watching YouTube vlogs and reading posts on here about others having to deal with the mixed feelings, oftentimes negative opinions, dumb comments, jealousy, and attitudes of family, friends, and coworkers after revealing they were getting sleeved, I decided not to go that route. I'm very sensitive about my weight and I imagine that I'll be even more so after surgery. I'm also super shy, quiet, private person by nature, so I don't want the attention. The only person in the world who knows I'm having VSG surgery next month is my mom, who had a gastric bypass 12 years ago. She will be accompanying me to Mexico. My mom has been sworn to secrecy, and I trust her. I saw what she went through after her gastric bypass with our extended family, her friends, neighbors, church members, etc. I'm not going to give anyone in my life the information and ammunition to label me as the circus freak who went to Tijuana to get her stomach stapled because she couldn't stop pigging out...

Has anyone else opted for secrecy/privacy? Does anyone wish you hadn't told? What is your cover story? Are you feeling guilty?

I understand what ur going thru... something so personal but exposed to the world while ur going thru it is tough.. I've opted to tell my immediate family & a close friend who has had gastric bypass 2 yrs ago... everyone had been very supportive of my decision... my surgery date is next Monday actually so I'm starting to get excited..I started seeing someone about 3 months ago & I've decided not to tell him... I'll have to eventually but I don't want him judging me because he genuinely likes me just as I am & what we have going is really great... we've made so many plans 4 next year - a concert, Vegas, camping...I've already started telling him that my diet is about to change that incorporates more protein & vegetables...due to our conflicting work schedules we really only get 2 see each other a few days out the week & with the holidays coming up we'll both be traveling to see our families... he's scheduled to come back from thanksgiving the day before my surgery... Smh...I don't know what to do... I don't want to hide it but our relationship is so new...I was already planning to do this waaay before I met him... so I'm sorry if I'm rambling but again I understand.. to tell or not to tell... THAT is the question... good luck on ur journey & I'll keep u posted on how things went!

I am also being somewhat secretive. I am only telling my husband and children, but noone else. I had a lap band several years ago and really didn't like being on display with my weight loss, food choices, weight regain and complications with my band. I have decided not to share with anyone else, which can make it really hard with extended family around the holidays wondering why I don't want to host this year, (it's my turn kinda). I feel that I will be way happier just not being a poster board for weight loss surgery.

I have shared and I am wondering how it will all work out when I return from TJ, Mexico. I am scheduled for the 11th if December.

I've also been pretty secretive. I've only told my husband which is coming to MX with me, my mom, my sister and my oldest daughter. I wasn't going to tell anyone except my husband but decided to in case of emergency. I only told my one sister because she has battled weight all her life so she understands. She's concerned that it's MX but understands. Good luck on surgery!

I have only told my best friend, my husband and my therapist. I have two step-daughters who had gastric by-pass a number of years ago, and they have put there weight back on. I also had a niece in law who did not keep her weight off. I think that if I had told a bunch of people in advance they would have that it was "stupid" or tell me that it isn't going to be doing any good etc. so I chose not to tell anyone. The only one I feel guilty about is my Mom. We are very close and I typically tell her anything, but I didn't want to put her in a position of not telling anyone else - or worrying about the surgery. My friend, therapist and my husband are very supportive.

The only people that know is my immediate family and close friends that i know that supports my decision 110% and a friend of mine that was sleeved as well.

I am opting to tell only a few people too. I feel I will be judged by others as taking the easy way out. My husband and I are doing this together so our son knows and a very close friend knows because she had the surgery last year and she is the one who recommended this to us. We are just going away for a week on "vacation" is what we have told a a couple people and work.

I'm not planning on sharing with many people besides immediate family and a few close friends either, but I'm curious what others have encountered in the workplace. I'm guessing your colleagues notice such a dramatic weight loss and ask about it? Or are curious why you don't eat out or eat much at lunch? Etc.?

At first I was going to tell NO ONE but then I needed to talk about what was happening to me and I chose one friend and only talked to her, my son and daughter for almost 2 years. As my date came closer and I became more excited I have added 2 more people and i'm planning to tell one of my brothers. There are so many serious and silly things that go on during this journey I find that don't want to be bogged down with too many secrets in my own head and I NEED to talk about this. Good luck everyone I am very excited for this Christmas present to myself.

Very few people will know my secret. Mainly due to the level of ignorance out there... and how judgmental so many people are. I have enough stuff to worry about I just don't need someone holding this over my head. In my case I had such success working out for so long that just seeing progress... should be somewhat natural. I don't expect that hiding it should be too tough. The only thing I really fear is not being able to eat very much and getting questioned about it. I've already thought of ways to get around this... "Man.. I had a late breakfast (or lunch).. I'm going to have to get some of this to go!"

I concur. I will tell no one. My husband and friend Amber who also is considering. She asked today what I will tell people about my weight loss. I am working on my cover story. Thyroid, hormone therapy...I have always been dieting and exercising like crazy so maybe they'll believe it all started to pay off. I am good at avoiding people. My mother in law is coming 26 days after surgery. I will be nearly to a normal diet..ish. Food wise. I have always been on a diet so she wont question it too much. i am good at avoiding people for i have been doing it for years.

So glad to see that I'm not the only one keeping my sleeve on the down low. I'll take brainstorming up a really good cover story over the emotional toll of the stupidity, insensitivity, negativity from the boss, relatives, friends, etc. My cover story for my rapid weight loss will be the truth: I made a New Year's resolution to eat healthier, lose weight and train for a marathon. I'm sure they'll mentally roll their eyes and think, yeah whatever, fat girl! But the months will pass and they'll see me out there power walking, then jogging and finally running, as I steadily shrink. By March, they'll just assume I'm the rare person who actually stuck to a New Year's resolution. And if they question my diet, I'll bore them with TMI about glycogen, complex carbs, protein percentages and grams per day, blood glucose, ketosis, blah blah. I've found that people just want easy answers. Their eyes glaze over if you go into too much detail, and they usually don't ask twice if you make it really ridiculously complicated. *sly grin*

I have only told my immediate family and some close friends. They have been super supportive for me. But there are some that I do not want to tell because they would just make it about them, or sabotage me. It's all about me. Its hard for me to say that because I am always wanting to help others and do things for others. But I have learned its MY TIME!!

I got a ride home from a from a friend tonight and I really thought that I had told her already and just went to talking about having my surgery on Monday, well i had not and she just yelled at me then started laughing, told me that she was going to pray for me then we both just laughed really loudly and she said she can't wait to see me in a week. So far so good. I have to start that cleanse tomorrow at 12, I bet that's going to be fun.

I only told 5 people that I knew I could trust . I also didn't want to be judged for my decision or to constantly be asked how much weight have I lost or to be judge by what I was eating and so forth .

I was lucky - only had three negative reactions. One of those came around, and another was someone whose opinion I don't really care about. The rest were mostly positive - some general concerns about surgery, but that was it.

I got a juicer for Christmas. I'm going to be a juicing miracle! �� (I have done every fad diet, and I am on my liquid pre-op this week. My husband knows, but when my MIL came over for Christmas breakfast, she gave me grief over me "drinking breakfast." I hope to never have her know....)

Well I dont wanna here other negative comments..I havent told anyone yet i have told ppl that i was thinking about it to here their thoughts but i feel this is my life my journey I have the say so..Im not married so I dont anyone a explaination...I will get a ride from the hospital I was going to share with my immediate family but they will be on a 12 day cruise while im in the hospital. I will tell my oldest daughters thou 17,16..but I really dont feel the need I know people will say for support but sometimes friends and family can bring u up and also BRING YOU DOWN!! so I rather just stay at bay...

Thank you for posting this thread! I have told 5 people at work -- one negative reaction, one neutral, the other 3 overwhelming support. I also told my immediate family & only my father has not been on board -- surgery is in 3 days & he gave me a box of chocolate for Xmas! He honestly is the most loving father anyone could hope for, but not in this arena. He is trying to be supportive, and I know he will be more understanding as he sees the results. The rest of the family has been in my camp 100% and as I'm a single mom of a 17 year old, my sister in coming in from overseas to take care of me. Feeling very blessed and cannot wait for the wonder-filled New Year.

I waited the last minute to tell certain people, others that knew before only knew because I knew they would be supportive. Since having the surgery on 12/10, I have told more at work. If someone has had something negative to say, I haven't heard it, but wouldn't listen if I did :0) I like your view on this though!