Welcome guest, you have 1 message! Register

Broken Toy?

  1. teresattt1
    Without writing a book.. getting down to what is going on in my head is swirling like wind blowing in a thunderstorm right now. I have been overweight since I was a child. My Marine father did not and never did except it.. my mother sat back quiet, going along with him not helping to defend or stand up for me while he drug me through military training trying to "change" me.

    Present day: My father past away in 2010. Even though there was molestation with not only me.. but later I found out about my daughter, also him. It took lots of time and many many times on the shrinks couch to learn to forgive him. But I did. It seems my mother has now found her voice. It seems to be getting worse. I have always been the yo yo dieter.. but I have done so well, followed every rule pre-op and post -op up until this day. I was sleeved 03/08/13 and as of yesterday lost 72 lbs. While SHE describes this as being good. Every chance she gets she digs about me obsessing over calories.. protein.. no carbs.. etc. How I don't live.. wasting a life that I could have if I get "out there"

    First of all me and my husband are somewhat reclusive.. we are both very happy to be alone.. or with each other.. because I don't drink or party or have tons of friends.. this is not living?

    After 1 hour and 47 minutes of trying to plead my case about having goals.. I want to be able to hike trails.. maybe walk a 5k.. ride a bike again.. etc.. but all I get back is "now your too old, you will not change.. you will never be able to do those things now".

    I feel sick and broken, even guilty about losing weight.. it seemed alot of people in my life liked me much better when I was fatter. At 478 lbs to 311 lbs (72lbs since surgery) I was so proud last night when I called to tell her.. thinking she would be proud.. finally proud of me.. but it turned and sunk into an argument. Now I am selfish.. according to her.. I wish I could say I was not a people pleaser but it would be a lie and lord knows I have tried so hard to keep my whole family, co-workers, even people I meet happy.. but it doesnt work.. So I have tried to concentrate on me.. I have 3 grandkids.. I want to have fun with them and enjoy it when they are young.. so many things I want..

    I apologize for the long post.. I just have been up all night crying and letting yet another person crawl into my head and take up all the space... thanks to any who read this whole rambling mess.. please pray for me as I am determined to keep pushing for the weight to come off and get healthy.
  2. robin34
    First of all...YOU ARE NOT SELFISH! You want a better life for yourself and your grandchildren. Celebrate with who will celebrate with you and if they don't that is totally your loss. I have tried to incorporate my family into my exercise and so far it's working. My DIL has lost 27 lbs and is running races with me. My hubby is also running and exercising and trying to lose his "love handles." Keep positive. Share with the ones who will celebrate with you and try not to worry about the others. Try a little counseling with your hubby if that is feasible. Most churches will offer the counseling if you want their services. See if he will walk with you and try to enjoy nature together. If all else fails, take the grandchildren to the park and enjoy them! I cannot tell you how many times I have heard the words..."grammie, I did not know you could...run!.....play basketball!...etc. Those grands are amazing!

    Good luck to you sweetie and if you need to celebrate with us, by all means contact us! I have a sleeve facebook page if you want to join us....my facebook page is Robin Englehardt Benson www.facebook.com/robin.c.benson ....and then I can add you from there!
  3. robin34
    meant to say "their loss" not yours!
  4. BrnIdGirl
    I'm sooo sorry your mother is being that way with you but I agree with Robin it is her loss. You should be relishing in this time of your life. Please don't let her take away your sparkle. You are doing awesome with your weight loss. Keep up the good work.
  5. teresattt1
    thank you both.. These forums have become a lifesaver for me. I appreciate your kindness and yes.. my grandkids are the best
  6. Mzzsugar
    As a mother, wife and caregiver to all, we tend to forget we are important too!!! Mothers have been bagging on their fat dsughters that don't live up to their image forever. You have to say ENOUGH. You have the right to be happy in the body you choose thin or heavy. This is horrible to say but you may have to tell your mom that you cannot talk to her until she gets aboard. Be part of the team or get the hell out of my way. This is MY life. Once you take the control from other people you'll realise you always had the power. Do not give people to undermine your success or take your success and make it feel selfish failure. You are important.

    Once I cut my mom out of my life for two years, unfortunately this was not as hard as should have been. Once the time apart was over our relationship became better. She no longer had the power to sway my thoughts. Take a breather from mom, maybe not years but a few months may not hurt.
Results 1 to 6 of 6