I was talking to the only one of my friends that I informed of my surgery and she said something to me that I use to believe but now I'm not sure. Now keep in mind, the highest she has every weighed was 135lbs. and she is 5'3. I'm only 4'11 (5'0 on a good day ). I told her my goal weight is 140 lbs or maybe 130. She told me that African American women carry weight differently then Caucasians and I need to stay around the 150 mark to stay curvy. I don't want to be at 150, plus that is still in the overweight range for me. She said she would love to gain 20lbs to enhance her curves and I let her know that that extra 20lbs may go to your stomach, hips, anywhere...you never know. It's just amazing how others feel the need to tell you where you should be when they've never been a day overweight in their life and use the race card to justify it.

I totally agree or they say things like you not even big. To them I'm not I just want to tell them to go somewhere and sit down

I am not having the surgery for the eye pleasure of others, it is for my health and living a more healthy life style. This is the very reason I have not shared my news with my close family or friends. A wise weight loss Dr once told me the #1 reason people weight loss is not successful is family and friends opinions. Please do this for you and only you.

I totally agree with 'cdudley'. This is not about anyone but you. Others who have not walked in our shoes are always the first to give an opinion of what you could or should do. Only you know what makes you feel most comfortable in your own skin. Being caught up in stereotypes that society has placed upon us, unfortunately keeps us from moving forward and living healthier lives...

Terricina I'm 5'2" and my goal is 150 only because I have large breast and thick legs so I have to porportion my weight. Now I say you'll know what looks good to you and where you wanna be. Don't let anyone discourage you. You know where you want to be and what your goals are so stick to them. Not everyone will encourage you or be happy for you so keep that in mind. Best of luck to you.

Thank you lady for all your kind words and words of encouragement. And to think she was my only friend I told because of her normally being understanding and nonjudgemental. I especially thank 50Faye50 for her comment of "Being caught up in stereotypes that society has placed upon us, unfortunately keeps us from moving forward and living healthier lives..."

I too have experienced the "you don't need surgery, you look fine. Your just doing it to be cute and your cheating to get there." Who in the world goes through this process cause you want to cheat. I have explained, this is a tool. You have to be committed to a total lifestyle change. You still have to work out and you have to eat right. I am 5'9 and I weigh 237. I started out at 245. I have sleep apnea, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, arthritis and asthma. I am having surgery Thursday to save my life! I have five children who need me. They have already lost their Dad nearly five years ago, because he did not address his weight, his high blood pressure and his sleep apnea. Like everyone else says do this for you and you alone. Blessings!

Good afternoon ladies! My experience has been with the people that have never had to struggle to loose a signification amount of weight seem to always be the ones that offer their "unwanted" opinion on whether "they" think you should have the surgery or not! I too like you RobinRN am 5'9, but currently I weigh 325lbs. I have degenerative arthritis in my spine, have had rt knee surgery, and the good knee is starting to be the "bad" knee! LoL... The only way that I will be able to live a pain free, more active life is this surgery! I have researched and prayed on it! My date is 5/27/13, and I don't care what anyone says about it. I say, " Only if you could walk a day in my shoes!" Do what makes you feel good ladies. You will have some that have negative opinions, and you'll find that after you begin to shed the weight and your outward begins to match your inward that people will begin to see that you made the best decision for "YOU" also.... God Bless

My family doesn't understand but I am doing this for me not them. I want to live and this is the option that is going to help. I need to have surgery on my knees as well and I know I will lose and will get to the weight that is good for my body. I will know when I get there. Good luck everyone!

I come to realize that people are very judgmental i had people tell me not to go to Mexico to have surgery. After I had surgery and starting losing those same people ask me what doctor did i use and when they get their next years income tax they are considering going now they see i am fine. So I say do not let anyone talk you out of living a healthier life you deserve it and keep telling yourself your worth it.

Love the topic. I was in another forum and we were discussing BMI. I am still in the obese range. im 5'2 and 181. if you go by "medical experts" i should be 125 or so. 125 on me will have me looking like a bobblehead. my original goal was that 125 but as i drop weight and start to really love what i see i decided 150 is great for me. im comfortable there and i see it on other people my height and it looks great and they appear skinny to me. i cant stress over following others ideas of what skinny or healthy is. some dont apply to me because it doesnt take into account that i am a black woman and have black woman assets. so i stick to what works for me and what looks and feels good to me. yes some people will be negative, but this is not about them, its about you and your journey. some people will say you cheated...tell them to kick rocks all day long. we may have got a boost but cheated? NO! we have to work at this just like anybody else. we have to learn a whole new way of life, watch what we eat, work out, and set goals. Do what feels right to YOU!

I'm gonna keep saying this: the BMI Scale is FLAWED!! Look, some people are meant to be 100lbs and some 160lbs. It's all based on your medical tests (A1C, bp, heart rate, chloestoral, etc...), how you feel (can you walk a mile without being winded? can you do a flight or two of stairs up? are you able to do normal activities without assistance or needing to sit down partway thru?) and how you look (do you look like a poster child for Feed The Hungry?). If these things are ok, then your current weight is OK; if these things are NOT OK, then you need to see if you need to adjust your weight up or down. It's really that simple.

Oh, here's an abstract from NIH regarding muscle differences in blacks vs white (Architectural characteristics of muscle... [Med Sci Sports Exerc. 1999] - PubMed - NCBI) but this was a VERY limited sample size and old (from 1999). However, they did say" 'It appears that although there may be race differences in anatomical stature, muscle architecture is likely independent of race.' That would make give some credence to the idea that blacks may be built a bit differently from whites & others. They have found that some meds don't work as well on blacks or other races (anyone recall an old MAASH episode where an anti-malaria medicine tested fine on whites but caused issues for other races? Primaquine - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia If the meds don't work as well or as they should, there are indeed some racial differences. Another example: Race-Based Medicine Arrives - Forbes.com

Great information, Bejeweled. Thanks for sharing it.

So . . .has anyone found any statistics that support that weight loss surgery is not as effective on African Americans???

It's apparent that different ethnicities have different physical characteristics. For me, that's not the question. And it's obvious that different people (regardless of race) carry weight differently (big butts, thick legs, skinny arms, big breasts, little breasts, fat fingers

Having not had the procedure done yet, I want to make sure that the 60% of excess weight loss statistics are across the board?

Yes I posted links if you go back in the threads.

Great information! Reading your post re confirms I'm doing to right thing! Thanks

"Certain medications may not work as well on black people"

According to my PCP this is very true. When he subsrcibed Linsinopril for my HBP, he informed me ahead of time that he may have to add another pill because Linsinopril doesn't seem to work as well on a great deal of his black patients. But he wanted to give it a solo try to see how it went. True to his word, he eventually had to add Verapamil as a 2nd medication.