Ok.. Here I am, roughly 4 months pre-op.. Gathering all my info together and working on getting my passport card and finances available for surgery. I haven't told many people about my decision to have this surgery due to any negative feedback. But of course, a couple out of the handful I have told are totally against it here are a few of the statements I have gotten from the negative side: "you know you can lose the weight if you really wanted to without surgery" "no doctor in the states will touch you knowing you had this procedure done in Mexico" "you LOOK fine just how you are" "the risks are too high to permanently alter your stomach like that" "your skin is going to sag" "it would be wiser just to join a gym and eat healthy" "you could do it on your own if you really wanted it bad enough"

These comments are haunting my brain. Possibly making me have second thoughts even though I know in the end I'll still have the procedure done. Perhaps I shouldn't have told anyone except my mom who has been my biggest supporter and who has has wls herself. I'm not sure if their comments are true concern or of some form of jealousy. I have been fat my entire life from birth, coming out of the womb at a whopping ten pounds. When I was 13/14 I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism and PCOS. I am only 5 foot 1 inch tall and cannot remember ever being smaller than a size 13/14 or under 165 pounds. I am now approaching 29 years old in march and weigh between 220-225. In the past two years I have been placed on high blood pressure meds, high cholesterol meds, and metforfim for pre-diabetes. Although I know I will physically look better, my sole purpose is not to be skinny. I don't think people get it. Until you have struggled with your weight and struggled mentally to better yourself, you don't get it. I struggle daily with more than my physical appearance. I am a college student and, being roughly 80 pounds overweight, the walk alone to my classes kill my back, feet and legs. I get shin splints so bad that by the time I arrive to my class I am almost walking handicap. It's embarrassing to say the least. Then there's the intimate moments with a guy... To let a guy see me naked is a no no! To perform in bed is exhausting and a definite relationship killer. Not to mention a blow to my self confidence. As you can see, it's not just about being 'skinny' to me, it's about feeling better and finding a new purpose and drive for my life. But again- some people just can't understand that. If I went the rest of my life still being fat I could accept that. But what I refuse to accept is staying on medicine, or adding to my medicine collection the rest of my life! For the love of god I am still young and want to be healthy. For the past 2-3 years I've been researching wls and ways to pay for it. My insurance doesn't cover it and there's no way I could come up with 15-20grand to pay for it in the US. I have decided to use my student loans and income tax to pay for it in Mexico. This is my only hope of having this surgery.
A little more about my struggle... In November of 2011 I had decided to try and lose weight by eating healthy, exercise and staying focused. I also was able to get back on my meds for my add/adhd, which is a stimulant and has side effects to cut hunger. In a year I managed to lose ONLY 23 pounds and go down one size in clothing. One bloody year and only 23 pounds although I was happy to have lost that weight, it was not significant enough to get off any medicine. This showed me just how badly I need something more, such as wls. Since November 2012, I've gained my weight back just another one of my yo yo diets.
Perhaps I am just ranting, but I know this is the place I can rant and get the feedback I need. Not to mention the place where others have walked in my shoes, struggled as I have and realized that they too cannot do it alone. So I need to know.. Was it worth it? Did you ever have doubts? Did you ever think 'what the hell am I getting myself into?'
What did you do to mentally prepare for this surgery and for your life to change? I am trying to prepare my mind for a happier, healthier me. I am trying to learn to love myself pre-op so I know post-op me will be this fantastic person....

-Amanda

you need to be out-spoken with these people you told.like tell them"i was looking for positive talks about what i plan to do rather than your negative feed back,about what you think you would do if you were carrying around "X"amount of weight 24/7.your suppose to be friends and say well if that what you want to do,we are here for you if you need us."
but yeah always remember misery loves company.it makes others happy to see people miserable.your a adult do what you want to do.

yeah as soon as i get the money i want to have the sleeve,then when i am skinny i want to have all the skin pulled and tightened,and another little thing i found out the have is the vigina tightner.seems when you get up there in age the walls of your vig. becomes thinner,not as strong.so i want to make sure when i do have sex."I SAY WOW"and"HE SAYS WOW".lolyour the 1st person i have told these plans to sorry if that is tmi.

Don't listen to the negative feed back. People don't understand how "you" feel...I decided, after years of yo-yo dieting & trying everything you can imagine to try to lose weight & keep it off that WLS was the answer for me. I decided to keep it my secret & have only told a VERY select few...because I don't need to hear the negative feedback from the people who don't know what its like to be in my shoes! Maybe its easy for those giving advise to succeed with the simply wanting to lose the weight theory...because Lord knows if it was up to only wanting to lose the weight....I would be there. Only people on this site understand how bad they WANT to lose the weight! You are going to hear negative feedback....thats just a given....but you have to do what you have to do! I have made my decision & rather than have the negative feedback mess with my mind, I have decided to keep my decision to myself...except for the Family that I have already told!

I am 62 and I am having the surgery on March 8th. If I had the money I would do it sooner! I sold weight loss products for20 years and I swear by them, but once I got Fibyromaliga I could not excerise enough, I started to eat more and more unhealthy (taking steriods) and the weight shot up! The bottom line is I know how to eat healthy, I know how to care for me, but it is not working the way I hoped it would. I know I could take off 20 pounds "eating healthy" but I will put it back on. So for me the operaton is a SMART choice, not a cop out, as your friends suggest. It is a way to manage the hunger, the cravings, and yes, your own body's make up. To me it is a WISE choice, tell those nay sayers, thanks for your advise, but I am doing what is best for me. I appericate your concerns, but I have thought about this carefully and this is what is best for me. My sister is dead set against it, but I also know 1/2 of her concerns is jealousy, she would love to do it, but she would not spend the money nor would she go to Mexico, so she bashes me. IT's okay, it is my body and my choice, made after a lot of soul searching. As for physicans, well, I don't see where that is a problem, there are more then one doctor out there and one of them will see you. IF it wasn't so hard to get the surgery in America and SO EXPENSIVE, we would all stay in America, but it is what it is. DO what is best for you, don't worry about anyone else! IT is your body and your choice. PS, find supporitive friends, like on this forum, and in life. All the best, Eleanor Rose

if you dont feel you have exhausted all avenues prior to surgery then these thoughts wouldnt even cross your mind.. make sure you know the sleeve is the only way because you tried everything already.. you dont want to harbor feelings of .. wish i would of's... after the fact... research the heck out of all the angles so you know exactly whats ahead or possible complications... i really stressed for nothing.. Dr Q and Henry made things easy breezy and I had a easy fast recovery.. so relax good luck! Ps .. i also did not tell a single person except my bf of 13 years.. its no ones business and why cause negative things to go on in your head.. they are not you and have no idea about your personal stuggles.. besides its really funny to watch gals i work with try to go out and copy my protein shakes and meal plan thinking ive lost it myself ... lol..... Suckers!!! go get your own idea!! my sister is jealous as heck and im loving every single second.. shes always been thinner and for the first time I am now and still dropping.. if i thought she wouldnt freak id tell her and maybe one day when we are old and gray.. i will let the cat out of the bag.. besides there is always that feeling of .. what of this doesnt work.. id never be able to hold my head high if they knew i failed at this drastic step..

Girl if you need to talk I am always here for you! I can 100% relate to everything that you are saying, everything!! I am thirty years old now and have also been over weight my enire life, came out of the womb a big ten-pounder as well and have been chunky my whole life. Been put on diets since I was about seven years old, tried sooooo many times, so many diets to loose weight. Once I actually lost 80 pds, but it took me FIVE years of living at the gym, plus climbing a mountain three times a week, eating no more than 1200 calories a day (often less), and every time I stalled I would take diet pills. My life REVOLVED around my efforts to loose weight, I LIVED to drop a pound (which took months to achieve each time)!....and all this just to gain it all back and than some the moment I no longer had time to spend all day at the gym and count calories. I cried and fought every single pound I saw myself gaining and tried over and over to start up the diet again but still kept gaining. I also lost a few pounds a couple years ago while doing the 500 calorie Hcg Diet...and again only to gain it right back up soon after! So much work, all that starting, for nothing, only to gain it back up again the moment I stopped. And THAT'S why I am reserving to surgery, it is my last hope, to live a normal healthy life before it is too late.

My husband is supportive and so is my mom, and a couple of my friends who have been around me for over a decade and have personally witnessed all of these struggles and watched the tears. But everybody else that has found out has given me all of the same comments as you mentioned above. Last person I told was my sister-in-law who responded with "have you tried diet and exercise??"...that was so insulting, god if she only knew what I have been through in my life to say something so stupid! I have learned that people that have not been on the same journey as we have or at least been around us long enough to see how much we struggle, they simple do not understand, and will not understand no matter how much you try to explain it to them. Do what you know is best for YOU, and don't even waste your time talking to them about it, no good will come of it. At least it hasn't for me. I am having the surgery is just over three weeks, and I am not going to talk to anyone else about it, I will let them find out for themselves when they see me HAPPY, HEALTHY and ACTIVE again after the surgery and they will hopefully then understand why I had to do it. :]

...

THank u all for the responses! This is exactly why I posted this. I guess I needed some positive feedback I keep looking at photos and videos online of people who have had this wls and am using this to inspire me. After writing that post the other night I did some soul searching and decided to start a 'mind' change. I don't want to go into this just to be skinny. Being smaller is just a perk. I want to go into this with the outcome of a changed me, starting from the inside. I am making a list of things I want to accomplish this year and wls is on that list. I've failed at a lot in my life and held grudges towards things I need to let go of. I guess you can basically refer it to a recovering addict. It's time to get my life together and be content and happy in every area, starting with me. Looking in a mirror and loving myself, forgiving myself and challenging myself to new heights! I feel like I'm in a cocoon about to emerge as a beautiful butterfly... Cheesy as it may sound lol. I'm approaching my 30's and want to make them the best years of my life and I can only hope that I can inspire someone to do the same. I hope I radiate confidence thanks you guys. Y'all are awesome.

I know I am done trying to lose weight and in return gaining more back. My weight is a noose around my neck. I can’t stop thinking about it. I want to live life now with more confidence and less pain. I can’t even sweep the flow or do more than 5 minutes of dishes without my lower back hurting. Its time I did something that benefits my whole life and in returns those around. It’s not about getting skinny but about getting healthy and happy. I too have not told anyone but my boyfriend of 15 years. I talked to my mom about going to a wls meeting and she scoffed so hard that I never told her I am going thu with this. It’s for my confidence and lifestyle I need to do this for. I’m tired of sitting on the back burner of life. So if you researched all your options and you feel this is right (and deep down you will feel it) than hold your head up and go for it. It’s your life not theirs!