Hi! I'm Michele & I've decided to have the gastric sleeve but my family(mom,brother,sister,sister-in-law) are completely against it.They're reasoning is-1. you could die in surgery & 2. maybe you should try something else(exercise,dieting) etc. I only have a few people supporting me on this & I could really use some friends. Anyone have the same problem?

Hi Michele! So sorry to hear this. I KNOW you are not alone; there are so many people who struggle with this.

My best advice to you is to research, research, research and then share your research with them. Knowledge is power (and in this case, confidence in the procedure) and I find that most fear and kickback comes from ignorance.

I started doing the research and handed it over to my hubby and father (the two most protective men in my life, obviously) and asked them to find a reason to NOT do it. Once they TRULY looked over everything (including reading Dr Alvarez's book "Successful Weight Loss with the Gastric Sleeve"), they were my two biggest supporters (and I went to Mexico!). My father even decided to pay for 75% of it.

They love you and are scared, but they just don't have the knowledge to really understand. Enlighten them.

Good luck!!

Hey Michele! My wife was concerned when I brought this to her. She attended a couple of my meetings with the surgeon and did her own research and got fully on board with me. She realized that the risks of not having surgery & losing weight far outweighed the possible risks involved with surgery. I had diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol & a severe sleep apnea. I was taking about 9 pills a day. In the four months since my surgery, I'm off all but 2 pills (cholesterol & blood pressure which my doctor says I'll be off of very soon), my blood sugar is better now without medication than it ever was before while taking 2 different meds & I've lost over 85 pounds. I feel SO much better already. My life has been changed & I know it wouldn't have happened without the surgery. It was very important to me to have my wife's support in this & I'm grateful I got it. Being that she is my wife, I'm not sure I could have gone through with the surgery without her support. That being said though, you mentioned it was your mom,brother,sister & sister-in-law that did not support you. Are you married or do you have a significant other? If so, how do they feel about it? I ask because my wife is my life partner & best friend. I would need her invested in the process because I have responsibilities to her & if something would have happened, she would have a great deal to lose. If I weren't married & my family didn't support me, but I, as a competent adult that has done my own research & accepted the risks for the proven rewards, would make my own decision. I would certainly want their support, but I wouldn't let them talk me out of it if I were convinced it is what I needed. I hope you find the support you deserve, but if you don't, I hope you still make the decision that is best for you & your health. They'll come around when you're thin & healthy. Best wishes!

Hi Michele! I am in the same boat as you. My husband and some friends are fully supportive of my decision. My family on the other hand (mother, sister, all of my inlaws) are completely against it. My dad hasn't said one way or another (he's just a whatever kind of guy). They keep trying to spout all of the failures they know. You know so and so gained ALL their weight back plus some. You know you still will have to eat right. Why don't you try Weight Watchers for the millionth time. On and on and on. Ummmm why don't they put a little more faith in me and worry about me and not the other "failures" (of which, one of the ladies who did gain her weight back her HUSBAND DIED!!!!! ummm hello, DIED! please, you can't compare me against that!). My family (not including inlaws) are Weight Watcher aholics. Nothing against that program. I've seen it do great things for folks. I've done it countless times. But enough is enough. They swear by Weight Watchers. Of course, they have all gained back the weight they lost. I think that this step is something I need to do. Something will stop me from putting large amounts of food (I'm a binge eater) in my mouth at any given time (yes you can graze but that ususally isn't my problem). It's like my "I'm Full" switch has never worked. It's a miracle that I'm not heavier than what I am now.

Hi Michelle. My heart goes out to you, dear one. This is a tough, uphill battle for anybody, and trying to drag the non-supporters behind you is a huge burden. Thank you, thank you for reaching out to us! That's exactly why we're here.

You are a grown, capable woman with a good resourcefulness. I'm so sorry that your family isn't being more helpful. Sometimes, for whatever reason, having people make big changes around us can be very scary. Some people are insecure enough and stubborn enough that they might actually get angry at whoevere is wanting to change, to be better. Are those people also overweight? Have they had their own failures at various diets and exercise attempts?

Do your research for sure! For yourself, first and foremost. Maybe share some of what you have learned with them, if you so choose. Yes, you could die from any surgery and almost any medication. I can't sugarcoat my sleeve experience for you; it was tough. I have fibromyalgia and I have Multiple Sclerosis. Those two disease processes working against me I'm sure made things much worse. But now I'm 2 1/2 months out, and I feel good. No more pain, no more nausea, my MS symptoms are actually getting better, and I've lost 54 lbs. It only gets better from here.

No one here has all the right answers. We all have some similar stories, and have all trudged down the same road. Please reach out anytime you need some positive support, have questions, or just need to vent/ramble. We're all cheering for you!

Hey this is common stressors. People are scared if the not knowing. There is more deaths from driving in a car. If you trust your dr that is all that matters. We're here anytime. You can always instant message me to if you wanna talk

thank you so much for all the advice!!! in the case of my family not being supportive, I told them I was interested in getting the lap-band & they were all completely negative. I've only told my mother & husband & you guys so far about my & my dr's decision to have the sleeve. My mom's scared but says its up to me. If I tell my other family members I see nothing but more tears in my future. I think I will wait until right before my surgery date to tell them. Now if I can only keep it in that long, lol. I truly appreciate all of your support & hope to make some real friendships on here. I've either pushed away people or not connected w/ people because of my poor self image but I hope to change that for the better. Thanks again for the kind words!

Hello Michelle, I'm sorry you are getting some negative responses to getting this surgery. I could try to tell you all sorts of things you already know that you would want those closest to you to know but they are unlikely to read this. I'm sure you have struggled with getting to this decision yourself. try to pick one person that you think would actually listen and tell them your full story. I hope that they hear you in time. If not you have a whole gaggle of us to lean on.

Hi Michele! I know where you're coming from. When I initially started researching WLS I thought I only had two options, by-pass or band. I was leaning heavily towards the band. All I heard from my mom was how horrible the band was, the issues her friends had, etc. I ignored her and figured it was just mom being unsupportive. I kept researching and working toward my goal. Recently I had to change doctors and they required me to attend another seminar. I took my mom with me so she could ask her questions and hear what the surgeon had to say. At the end it still seemed as though she was against it even though I had changed my mind and decided on the sleeve. Come to find out (last night) she is actually considering the sleeve now. My advice...get them some info, maybe take one of them to an appointment and let them ask questions and maybe they'll come around. Good luck and best wishes on your journey!

Hi all,
My husband supports me, but also enables me at any size. I'm lucky to have unconditional love. My sister is coming with me but also strongly disagrees. I haven't even told the rest of my family. They're all judgmental, negative, and will stress me beyond what I can handle right before the big day 1/5.
This forum had helped remove fear, feel of loneliness, and the unknown. Thank u

Hi Michele, I am in the same position my family doesn't support me either. I feel they have some of the same fears, but like I told them I could walk outside today and God forbid get hit by a bus. Seriously, Michelle I had to what is best for me so I can be healthy. So do what is needed to make you happy and healthy also put it in Gods hand and everything will workout fine.

my first appointment with a nurse at my clinic saw me being told to be sure about who I let in RE: surgery as there are many naysayers out there who do not know (fully) what they are talking about. i'm sorry that you are not being supported in this - you should be able to turn to family for support - choosing surgery isn't an easy thing to do.