I'm not the one who had an operation, I'm not the one with pain in my abdomen, I'm not the one who can only have liquids, I'm not the one who was sleeved. But still my life has changed! Currently my life is about details...crushing pills, making sure medications are taken at the correct time, changing bandages, giving shots, making sure my "patient" is resting and getting enough fluids. Along with this, I have the added responsibility of making sure everything in the house is completed (dishes done, check; laundry done, check; dogs fed, check; garbage out, check). I will admit that I'm tired and my back is hurting from helping up, helping down, putting on socks, helping put on pants, running to get this or that. There is a lot asked of the caregiver and you don't realize how much work it will be for the first week. However, the light I see in my partners eyes is making all of it worth it. She is very grateful for everything I'm doing and is a good patient. Each day she gets stronger, each day she can do more for herself, each day I must let go of control of one detail after another. Yes, I knew this would change our life but I had no idea how drastically it would change my life for the first week. No complaints and I would do it all again, and at this point, I think she would too.

Sounds like you are a great care giver! It "is" a lot of work! I'm glad you have such a good patient. Mine is still struggling. He is still so nauseous that the doctor put him on a med called Emend, a med used for cancer patients for nausea. He just took it a couple of hours ago, so nothing yet. It should be a miracle drug for the cost....$75 for 1 pill!! Thankfully the insurance was "only" $45 for 2 pills. They want him to take 1 a day for 2 weeks. Not sure about that. They are also going to do a CT scan this next Wednesday. Glad for that, at least we can put our minds to rest if nothing is wrong there, will just have to look elsewhere for the problems.

Wow, Debbie! So sorry to here that he is still going through so much. Cannot imagine how frustrating this must be both for him and for you. Praying his nausea will go away...and very glad they are doing a CT scan.

We have been very luck and she is healing beautifully. No nausea, just "liquids burnout". Having some post sleeve blues, but I think those are normal feelings. She is beginning to do more and more for herself and won't need my help for much longer. I'll be glad when she gets to the soft food phase, so many more choices for dinner. I have got as creative as I can get with cream soup and broth. LOL

Glad to hear she is doing more and more for herself. That is definitely a sign of healing. How much longer till she tries soft foods?

My husband is having an Upper GI done tomorrow. I thought it was a CT scan, but sounds like the Upper GI test is more what he needs. Checking for leaks I suppose. He has progressively gotten worse in the nausea area. He hasn't run a fever, but has constant nausea and only able to get down jello and sherbert. From what I'm reading leaks are very scary, but don't know what else it could be. Just trying to keep him as comfortable as I can until tomorrow and praying for answers. Very concerned.

No doubt you are very concerned, praying that this will be able to provide answers (and quickly). I can only imagine how I would feel...praying that God will guide the doctors so they can truly help him heal.

She goes to see doctor tomorrow and then he will clear her to eat pureed foods for two weeks (although honestly, she's already eating pureed foods...don't tell her doctor.) I've mad her instant mashed potatoes, pureed oatmeal and pudding thus far. I'd say she's healing very quickly. Still a little burning where the muscles are healing but nothing too bad and definitely no nausea from eating (only from extreme food smells.) I only have one more shot to give her and probably only one more day of changing dressing on drain hole (and I suspect the glue from other incisions will be falling off very soon.)

How did the dr's appt go? What are the shots for? Sounds like she is doing very well! I'm guessing eating pureed foods are all official now.

The Upper GI showed no leaks (thank God) and also showed acid reflux. I could actually see that myself. We'll find out from the sleeve surgeon the full results when we have our appt next Wednesday. We met with the hernia surgeon yesterday and finally got the JP drain and the stitches out!! She prescribed Protonix for him until we meet with the sleeve surgeon next Wednesday. I read so much online about it being the miracle drug for people and it made him almost instantly sick and throw up. So we are still fighting the same fight. The hernia dr said the sleeve dr was an expert on helping with the acid reflux. He may need to go in and "tweak" the opening to the stomach. She said it's healed enough now to allow. So we wait and see and in the mean time he's still miserable. He's lost a total of 85 pounds since his preop diet.

We did go to dr's appt and everything looked good. Pureed foods are official and welcomed. She is doing great! The shots were for blood clots (she has a family history.) Good news is she is now driving herself, because of the muscle burning, she held off for a couple of weeks from doing that. We are still fighting a rash she got from something used on her topically at the hospital during surgery but it looks so much better.

And THANK GOD, NO LEAKS!!! But wish he wasn't still miserable. Tell me again when he had his surgery? And WOW! 85 pounds lost, that's amazing but then again, since he can't eat...feel so bad for him. If they have to go back in, I pray the surgery is easy on him and correct the problem immediately. Here to a New Year that brings fast and complete healing!

Now, How are you doing? I know this is rough on you. Hoping that you are able to take care of yourself too.

Thank you so much for your kind words. It has been an exhausting struggle. We go to the sleeve dr tomorrow. I PRAY answers and results come soon. It's almost like living alone except I still am a caregiver. I can't cook, he prefers I eat before I come home because of the smell. He can't look at food on tv, it's always a 1 way conversation. And I feel like even my talking to him can trigger his gagging. It is just so sad. He has nothing to throw up but I guess the little bit of jello and water or sprite he gets in each day. They HAVE to do something, this is no way to live!!

His surgery was on 10-19-2012. The 85 pound loss really shows, he is so pale and weak. I'm lost.

I worry about both of you because I can only imagine how difficult it would be for you...it was tough on me for just a week and a half. And you are right, this is no way to live. I'm so glad he is going to see sleeve doctor tomorrow. I know you are exhausted, frustrated, and wishing that they would just find the answer. And you have to feel all alone, a feeling that I actually understand. Your situation has to be amplifying that 100 times. Already I feel like there is only so much we can share, I understand but only to a point. I get frustrated because I wish I could have the control that I see her having with food, but those are my "demons" to deal with.

I will continue to pray...because he has to be nutritionally deficient, especially with his protein. If they have to go back in, hoping they can get him in very quickly. I'm surprised he hasn't ended up back in the hospital from dehydration and lack of nutrition. And I cannot imagine throwing up after having this surgery. Not to mention the mental/emotional toll this has taken on him and on you. Please God, just let them figure out a solution and get it done ASAP. Stay strong and remember, we are here for you.

Well, back from the sleeve surgeon appt. He is changing some meds and starting a patch for nausea and Nexium for the acid reflux. Just have to wait on our insurance to approve the Nexium. He's down 98 pounds now from when the pre-op diet started in early October. They took some blood work and said if it looked bad then will have to be more aggressive and admit him to get him on IV fluids. We go back in a week. He told him to stay off carbonated sodas for now until we get this under control and drink water, Gatorade, crystal light, etc. So we get back home and the first thing he ask for is a Sprite
(insert scream here!)---Did I say he is a bad patient? :/

I went and bought the Gatorade. So we wait.........

Thank you again for prayers!! I really appreciate them! Boy I can relate to the "demons"......I go to my follow up appt tomorrow to meet with the nutritionist for my possible surgery. I have to say right now I'm not in any hurry. But even still I think I would rather have the sleeve that the bypass. I know I will have at least an 8 pound gain from last month. My husband is actually within 20 pounds of my weight now. Talk about depressing.

Oh goodness...never good when you have a bad patient. I was wondering about sprite when you mentioned it before. We were told no carbonated beverages for 6 months and then try them slowly and in small amounts.

How is he doing? Has the patch and meds helped? Hoping they have and that he is doing the gatorade...he needs those electrolytes to keep from dehydrating. (And scream away...even if your screams are only inserted in my head. LOL)

As for me...I went to the gym and worked out both Wednesday and Thursday (plan on going tonight to.) I have been managing to keep my calories down toward the 1700-1800 mark. I will be keeping this up to get my own weight down. I totally understand the depressing thought of them getting so quickly to your current weight. I think it is my competitive drive kicking in. I don't mind her being smaller than me, but I won't go down without a fight. LOL We talked before the surgery about the fact there would be some healthy competition between the two of us.

I can finally report "some" good news, although to me it's major! He is drinking more, Gatorade and water. And actually ask for something other than jello and Popsicles. First was cantaloupe and peaches, but couldn't bring himself to eat them. He did drink the juice from the canned peaches and "then" ask for a chocolate Slim Fast this morning!! I gave him about a half cup and he drank it all and so far has kept it down! He's sleeping now, so praying it stays down. He still has his heaving episodes, but they have lessened. That's what woke him about 5 this morning. I do see positive results and VERY thankful for that!!

They had told him initially about no carbonated sodas EVER, but when he was having so much trouble they didn't care what he did if it helped.

I have started tracking my foods again, drinking more water and feel better already. It's amazing, I always know eating better will always make me feel better but continue eating bad. Hopefully now I will stay with the feeling good. That's my mark for calories too, under 1800. So far it's been easy (only 3rd day out), because I think my body is still living on the overload from before. Exercise is still something I want to work in, even if it's only 10 min at a time. Good for you for getting to the gym!!

That is FANTASTIC!!! As long as you are seeing changes for the better...and I totally understand why the doctor would say go ahead and drink the soda, especially if it was the only thing he could keep down. Continue to keep him in my prayers; hoping and praying that day by day he will feel better and better.

As for you, congratulations! You are taking steps in the right direction and that is each of us can do. I was supposed to go to the gym yesterday but after being outside for 52 minutes shoveling snow and scraping ice (and burning close to 600 calories...woohoo!) I opted to not go. I am in TaeKwonDo (took of the month of December to make me more available while she was healing from surgery), and I return to class tonight. I got my first degree black belt last year and I'm working on my 2nd Degree now. I'm looking forward to getting back to it, hoping my zeal and motivation will come back with me. I truly enjoy doing it and I love getting to work with the younger kids, they are a lot of fun to teach. Had a great week last week (especially after my totally freebie days on New Years Eve and New Years Day.)

As of the last year, I have had a hard time losing weight because my partner wanted to go out to eat all the time. Although, we did try to eat healthier, it was still more calories than my body needed. Now that she has had surgery, we aren't going out as much and I am far better at controlling my calories. Ans when we do go out, NO APPETIZERS!!!! That alone will help my waistline. So her changing her eating habits is helping me with mine as well. I am currently Carbohydrate cycling; meaning I have low carb days (less than 100 g per day) and high carb days (at least 200g per day). I low carb eat on Mon-Wed-Fri and high carb on Tu-Th-Sa. On Low carb days my calories are 1200 and on high carb days my calories are 1500, on Sunday, I have a free day. It means it is definitely a high carb day and I get 2400 calories. So if I'm craving something, all I have to do is wait until Sunday. Just started last week so I'm interested to see if it kick up my over 40 metabolism as much as they say it can.

Wow, good for you on all of the exercising and Congratulations on the Black belt!! I'm sure that was no easy task! I can't wait until we can start sharing meals and I don't have to leave to eat. I have been doing better, lunch today not so much, but I'll make up for it with a protein shake tonight.

We went back to the sleeve surgeon today and his blood work from last week was great despite how he feels. Dr said the blood work looked better than he did. He and the nurse stayed with us for quite a while talking through all of this. Love them both! Anyway, he is actually doing some research on a stomach stimulation as a last resort. He said physically the sleeve is fine and the change of meds seem to be making an improvement. "Now" he has issues with dizziness and of course still no appetite and an aversion to food altogether. He said going on an antidepressant would probably be a great idea and suggested we see our PCP. We did, he checked him and and diagnosed him with Thrush!! He was almost excited...lol He said that could definitely cause the nausea and loss of appetite and would explain how it got worse right after the last repair surgery. At least from what I'm reading because it can come on when your immune system is down and you've been on a lot of antibiotics. That and he hasn't been taking the best care of himself hygiene wise (so glad he doesn't read any of this). Anyway, he prescribed Mycelex for the next days. He also said to check his BP each morning and if his BP is not elevated to skip the med. He's lost so much weight now (104#) that he may not even need the med anymore. It was dropping down to 94/54. And he just finished 1/2 of a protein shake, so today has been a good day!!!

Thank you so much for your prayers! He has a lot of people of praying for him and I know they are being heard!

Thrush, really? That is so interesting. Usually you think of babies getting thrush but it does make complete sense. Everything the doctor is suggesting seems to make sense when you stop and think about it. I'm just glad they are finding answers. Hoping he is on the path to complete healing now. We are monitoring blood pressure here too, if it begins to drop, we are hoping that the doctor will take her off of her's. She went for appointment yesterday and was cleared to eat soft foods (which she has been trying for the last food, only now it's official.) I am amazed because she can still eat a cup of food at a sitting which seems like a lot when I read about other people but it does seem that each and every person has a different experience.

Thank you about the black belt, it's just something I always wanted to do and I realized at 40 that I was getting no younger so I better get it in gear and take a class. My first week back was tough, but I got right back into the swing of things. I'm finding sticking to my eating pattern to be pretty simple and am attempting to exercise at least 5 days a week. Tonight we are going to go to the gym together. She will stick to the treadmill or bike and I will weight lift and do some H.I.T. training on the treadmill. The one thing I did have a problem with this week, when we went out together, I allowed myself to order too much. I ate 3/4 of an appetizer of tandoori vegetables (which vegetables good but cooked in Ghee), I think we ordered it because she really wanted veggies which would have been fine if we had split a dinner but we each ordered our own. I also ordered rice, which she can't eat. After eating well over a cup of rice and half of my dinner, I also polished off the rest of the shrimp from her dinner. Now the good news, I brought half my dinner home for lunch tomorrow but it put my calories way over the top. Was supposed to eat 1500 and ate 2208 for the day. My other good news was that I went swimming and burned 702 calories yesterday morning, meaning my calories came out flat. I burned as much as I took in. But it is not a habit I want to get into. We have another friend who had this surgery done, her partner said not eating what is left on the other one's plate can be a challenge. I'll just have to watch and be very careful!

Continued prayers! (I with complete confidence believe in the Power of prayer, I've seen the miracles it can work.) But I keep you, as well as him, in my prayers! Take care!

New update, his nausea has gotten so much better and the dizziness has gotten so much worse. It's impossible to even type this without crying because it feels like this will never end. It is so bad he cannot be left alone except for such as short time, because he can not get up or walk without help. We go see an Ear, nose and throat specialist on Wednesday and then to get a sonogram of his Para-thryoid, something they discovered right before the surgery and said could wait until after. PCP doesn't want to wait any longer because of all of the problems. Please continue to pray. Thank you.

I am so sorry! Cannot believe what a tough time you guys are having. Definitely keep both of you in my prayers. How soon does he get to see the ENT? Hoping they are pushing to get him in quickly for these appointments. You guys really need a break!