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anewvue

In the revolution, skinny B****es will die first!

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That was the statement my personal trainer would make during our sessions as I sweated and complained while she whipped my body into shape years ago! The phrase was said to help me not feel so bad about all the skinny little women walking around the gym while I looked like two tons of fun. I worked out 6 days a week and modified my eating and yes ...dayum I looked good, but I paid a very big fee to stay motivated.

So now, I want to be one of the skinny B****** and I believe I will still be a part of the revolution. As I have aged, I just can't work out like that and the personal trainer fees to stay there had to be used for other things in my life. As the weight has crept back on....I have become more disillusioned that I will never get my weight under control. I have a spouse who can eat like he wants and has a hard time keeping his weight on his frame. The only fat he has is in his cheeks and his tummy (which is a very small mound). As I write this, he is chowing down on a big bowl of ice cream. To top all of that...he is a fabulous cook...my dealer is what I call him. Food to me is like crack to a crack addict and I live with the dealer.

As many on this site have experienced, I am just tired of the roller coaster. I hurt in my back and knees and now I snore.....really bad! I have tried diet modification after diet modification only to lose the same 20 lbs over and over again. Exercise and weight lifting which I loved 7 years ago....have all become a distant memory as I struggle with my OA. I am one of the fortunate ones so far to not have BP or BS problems. My BP would put a 20 year old to shame!

So whats a girl to do! Thank goodness for this site and its community of contributors. I have learned a lot here and where I was hesitant to even consider removing part of my stomach, I embrace the possibility. I know time is not on my side nor are my genetics. Although I don't have BP or BS issues, I am certainly predisposed to both based on family history.

So, its time to think about being one of those skinny B****** or I will surely die being one of the big girls trying to not feel so bad about being too big.

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  1. ACE's Avatar
    Well I am glad you are getting yourself motivated to do something about the issue again. I have been told over and over again that once you have built the muscle once its easier to get back in shape. Now I know living with your "food crack" dealer has got to be hard but i was in the same boat at times in my life and I can understand how it feels. I hope you get to the YOU that you want to be and join those of us already on the "looser's bench" I loved the title of this by the way and I can totally see where that would help to motivate you
  2. anewvue's Avatar
    Thanks Ace! I cannot wait to join you on that bench. The "Dealer" is trying to change his ways...but it has been a challenge for him. I am his biggest culinary fan! The thought of me not being able to eat the volume and foods he would have me try is gonna take some re-thinking on his part. I am praying he will learn to comply!
  3. aclabombard13's Avatar
    If he pulls back on portion size, you should still be able to enjoy his creations after a little bit of time and you'll save on your grocery bill You are certainly on the right track, admitting that you're unhappy, knowing what you want and coming and finding us here! If you are truly interested in the sleeve, I urge you to continue to research, talk to your "dealer" and you PCP. I've heard a lot of people say its not for everyone and you have to decide if its right for you... I say if you've tried diet after diet, you're miserable and ready to be done once and for all... GO FOR IT!!! This was the best thing I ever did for ME. I couldn't be happier with the results and I'm fine with my new lifestyle, in fact I love it. Sure, there are times when I wish I could take one or two more bites and know it won't end well if I do, but its worth not being able to have those bites to feel this good about myself. I also had no health problems yet. Although I know it was likely inevitable. Good luck with your decision.
  4. MellieD's Avatar
    I can relate..I have concerns about my hubby in all of this.. one of our bonds is enjoying food together..of course, like your husband, he has not gained nearly the weight that i have. I guess we will just have to strengthen our other bonds and go on a quest to enjoy healthier foods/meals. He's already planning to be the King Smoothie maker with the NutriBullet he got himself for Christmas. Thankfully he is supportive..but I know there will be some rough spots/adjustments ahead. Best wishes to you!