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azladyrider

Constant comments

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Just ticked and ranting.....

Old friend was in town from IL last week that I've known since we were both 5 years old and went through all 12 years of school together. Went out to eat and visit 2 times with her and her husband. I was so aggravated by the end of our second dinner and still after 2 days still ticked

Me: What's the soup of the day?
Her: You need to eat more than soup
Me: I'm fine thanks (ignoring the comment... moving on)

Me: I'll have a small salad with a side of taco meat and chorizo
Her: You need to eat! You're too skinny! (I'm not "too" anything)
Me: I'm fine thanks (ignoring the comment... moving on)

Her: the whole freaking time during both meals
You're too skinny, you barely ate anything, you need to eat

We were talking about the amazing grocery stores here that carry organic and health foods and I mentioned some ice cream I found and her reply was - Oh sure and it's tiny tiny pieces too right?

OMG SHUT THE FU** UP and leave me alone!

Imagine this conversation to someone:

God you're too fat
God why are you eating so much?
You need to stop eating

Those comments would get someone slapped no doubt - why is it perfectly ok for people to make the former comments and not the latter? I just don't get it.

NONE of my friends here in AZ say any of this crap to me probably because they've seen me go absolutely bat sh** crazy on someone that constantly made these comments for the first 6 months after my surgery.

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  1. DutchSleeve's Avatar
    It is definitely not ok for people to make any comments of that kind, the former or the latter.
    I can imagine you were p*ssed.
    Some people are like that, they are either jealous or genuine concerned, but it would spoil my fun too.
    And for the record: I think you look great!
    I will be happy to look like that 3 years from now!
  2. KiwiGal's Avatar
    Hmm it's a funny one isn't it. You are right, no one (I hope!) would say that someone was too fat or eating too much but some people feel that they can comment when someone has lost weight. A lot of people have commented on my weight loss but no-one would comment when I put on weight. I of course take it as a compliment - why wouldn't I?! However I have had a couple of people say that I am "fading away" and there will be "left of me". While I have lost a heap there is still room for a little more and I am only "just" in the normal range of the BMI.
    I haven't had anyone comment on the amount that I eat - mostly because I eat out with people that know that I have been sleeved..... and they are really accommodation suggesting places that have shared plates or tapas. Generally I find that people don't take too much interest of what I am eating. I guess it is different if there are just 2 couples. If they can't take your statement that you are fine with what you are ordering and move on then I imagine that you will probably not go out to dinner with these people again.
    I didn't tell a lot of people that I was being sleeved (and there are still some who I will never tell) but now when people ask what I have done to loose so much weight I tell them - and really don't give a toss about what they think. Having said that most are supportive and interested.
  3. Katrina's Avatar
    Gah, don't I know this all too well! It's super annoying.
  4. Stacey03's Avatar
    Gahhhhhhhh, don't be making arrangements with her again then eh!! Maybe she is a little jealous :-)
  5. sraebaer's Avatar
    Could it be jealousy? My mom was tiny her whole life and never did I or anyone comment on how little she ate. But she was never large so people just accepted it. I was always jealous that she would be full on one pancake.

    With friends like that...maybe you don't need them.
  6. BarbyK's Avatar
    Last week we went to my sister-in-law's, she doesn't know I had WLS but she knows I am " trying to lose weight (again!). I put on my plate what I planned to eat. She said that I sure wasn't eating much. Then another time she said your diet is more like a starvation than a normal diet. I didn't say a word, I just smiled sweetly and ate my " starvation-type" diet. You gotta know my SIL. I love her, but she would worry warts off a frog. Sheesh! Why do we have to put up with this stuff from skinny people?!
  7. azladyrider's Avatar
    No this gal has never fought her weight ever in all the 55 years I've known her. I talked it over with another friend of ours that we all grew up together and she did the same thing to me ONCE and after I went off on her she never did it again.. she "got it" ... Oh well only time I see this other gal is when I go back home for a visit so don't have to deal with her all the time at least.